


Bullet in the Chamber

by zemenipearls (ayaanle)



Series: Zemeni Extended Universe [6]
Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst, Black Character(s), Decolonization, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Political Intrigue, Politics, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Speculative fiction, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-04-23 01:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 87,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22233415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayaanle/pseuds/zemenipearls
Summary: Jesper has been changed.On every level, since he first came home to Novyi Zem, everything about Jesper Llewelyn Fahey is fundamentally different. He is navigating his relationships, his shifting power as a zowa, and the world of politics. Novyi Zem is on the brink of war with Ravka, Fjerda, and Kerch, and he is involved in the heart of the conflict. Everything in his life has been leading to this moment, since even before his parents met.Leoni has left Ravka - her home of several years. But Adrik followed her across the True Sea, and now they are becoming major players as the Council of Elders make their moves. Leoni and Jesper are on a collision course that will upset international politics between nations and their lives are intertwined in ways they don't yet know.Follows the works Not Everyone Can Aim, and the Girl of Many Names.
Relationships: Jesper Fahey & Kuwei Yul-Bo, Jesper Fahey / Original Character(s) of Color, Jesper Fahey/Original Character(s), Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Leoni Hilli & Kuwei Yul-Bo, Leoni Hilli/Adrik Zhabin
Series: Zemeni Extended Universe [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1396687
Comments: 90
Kudos: 92





	1. Kerry

**Author's Note:**

> The Cast So Far 
> 
> Inyoni "Leoni Hilli" Mbeki, 21, Zemeni materialki  
Jesper Fahey, 19, Zemeni/Kaelish materialki  
Atiena Kaboyonga, 24, Zemeni Heartrender  
Sefu Kaboyonga, 21, Zemeni scholar  
Adrik Zhabin, 21, Ravkan squaller  
Kuwei "Nhaban" Yul-Bo, 18, Shu inferni  
Colm Fahey, 45, Kaelish Farmer  
Wylan van Eck, 18, Kerch merchant  
Inej Ghafa, 19, Suli pirate

The air was colder and the days steadily becoming shorter, when Jesper’s feet hit the shores of the Wandering Isle. He wasn’t alone, but accompanied by the Youth Council of Zowa, as they were now called. His body and face were lean, his high cheekbones taut on his face. A result of the parem. He looked better than before - his skin didn’t have the ashy and gray cast anymore, and his hair was no longer dull. 

He held his arm out to Atiena as she stepped down from the dock. The short Zemeni woman had two thick braids going back, twisted to form a halo on her head. Their clothes were lined with fur, to protect against Autumn in the Wandering Isles, and the normally vibrant colors were now mostly browns and greens, with occasional bursts in the design. 

The Youth Council of Zowa featured Atiena at its center. Fatima from the North, Nandi from the Stolen Lands, and Jesper and Atiena from the East. The West was still deciding on a delegate. Sefu had also accompanied them, acting both as a guard and a scribe. Jesper was acutely aware as Sefu’s large frame moved beside him.

Sounds filtered around them, the docks moderately busy. Merchants hawked their wares to sailors that arrived that morning, and women advertised inns to stay in. 

Atiena discreetly passed Jesper some silver coins, which he palmed. The materials wavered and he felt the smallest parts rearranging themselves, changing from silver to gold. Power lurched through him, begging to do more, but he stopped.  _ No. No more. _

Jesper walked up to one of the men standing by a large carriage. He was dressed simply in working class fashion - trousers, jacket, and buttoned shirt. They conversed in Kaelish, and then Jesper motioned for them to split between two different carriages. Their bags were thrown in the back, and off the group went. 

The Wandering Isle was vastly different from home, and Jesper had nothing but faint memories. It was considerably rural in comparison - industry was a slow moving beast. The lush green countryside eventually gave way to jutting crags, similar to the ones by the farm. Jesper and Atiena were the only ones who had visited the country before. Sefu hadn’t left Nyota Heri at all until now.

“It's always so lonely here,” Atiena said. She pulled her coat tight around her. “It feels like a wailing song.”

Jesper understood the feeling. He saw it in his dad sometimes. “It's the history,” he said. “Especially when they began anti- Toshúgad acts.” 

Some fanatic decided they didn’t like Toshúgad - their word for zowa. And that the magic was held in the blood. For generations, they were hunted down despite the best efforts of the government. It was only in the last ten years that Toshúgad became a protected class. But the scars and suspicion still ran deep. There were entire towns that had lost untold children and wives, the biggest victims of the hunt. But life went on, and they were one of Nyota Heri’s closest allies. 

Jesper felt Sefu behind him, could feel the gaze of his intense eyes. Jesper looked up, trying to keep from thinking back to the kiss. So much of the parem dosage was gone from his memory - overloaded, overpowered. But the sheer grounding force of that kiss was still with him, along with the nervousness of being used. 

_ Breathe, Jesper _ , he told himself. Their ride was quickly approaching a pub and inn, nestled in the bustling port city. His grandparent’s home. 

He wished he remembered something about the building, but it was strange to him. FAHEY B&B was emblazoned outside. 

An old Kaelish man was sitting outside on the bench. The hair had long since faded to gray, but he had the same gray eyes as Colm. As Jesper. He perked up as the cart arrived, and Jesper hopped out first. 

"It must be you!" He exclaimed happily. Sean Fahey was at least a head shorter, with deep lines on his face. But he was hale and healthy at 60 years old, giving Jesper a solid pat on the back. "You've grown so much, I haven't seen you since you were a wee bairn." 

The other Zemenis extended hands, so they all could say names. His grandfather seemed a bit wary but was still welcoming. After all, the Zemeni government was footing the bill for their stay. Inside, while the inn worker showed the others to their room, his grandmother came out. She had short hair that was both light gray and wavy. Her eyes were a soft blue and she came and kissed him on each cheek.

"You look so much like your mother," she said. "And tall! But you have those Fahey eyes. Novyi Zem didn't get all of you." She laughed, and Jesper chuckled obligingly. "Would you like a tea? I need to hear everything we've missed -"

"Now now Molly. He's just arrived. Let him rest," Sean cut in. Jesper was grateful. "You and your friends can settle in, join us for supper."

Jesper and Sefu were sharing a room - they were the only two men and his grandmother gave a cheery wink. "Can't have any trouble under our roof you understand." He couldn't blame her, she didn't know better. 

For his part, Sefu didn't push any conversation. He meticulously unpacked his things as Jesper dumped his in a dresser drawer. But Jesper still noticed the mournful glances in his dark eyes, and the tension in the corner of his stupidly full lips. He touched the bones at his wrist, feeling the strength of his mother. He would not waver.

After everyone recovered as best as possible from the journey they went down to the dining area. Patrons turned and looked at them, wondering why several Zemenis were in a Kaelish BnB, but once Molly embraced Jesper, people turned back to their food.

"Come, sit. Eat." There was one table set aside for his friends and his grandparents made another for them to catch up. Jesper wanted to believe their joyful faces.

"I remember when your mum brought you here. It's incredible seeing you in this very room," Sean said, before kissing his forehead. "When we got your letter, we thought it was too good to be true." His smile reminded Jesper so much of his father, he teared up. 

"It's good to see you too," Jesper said. "Thank you for letting us stay."

"Of course," they said. As if it had never been a second thought. But Jesper hadn't seen them in so long. 

He had to confess, the image was different than the one in his mind. His grandparents had always been distant figures. They never came to visit and he didn't visit them. So naturally, they must not have liked him very much. But here they were, eager and enthusiastic. 

"When you have some time we'd love to take you 'round," Sean said. "Show you the family cottage. Where your Da grew up. I know you've got your fancy state business to attend to but -"

"Of course," Jesper interrupted. "I'd love to. I'll let you know."

They were strangers, but he did want to try. Unfortunately there were pressing manners ahead of them. Including the one that had torn him inside out and crawled in the back of his mind. Parem.

He was only able to focus thanks to a chemical Sefu gave him from the University. Everything was too loud, too bright, too  _ much _ . Ever since the dosage on the docks of Ol'Umoyana, the materials around him sang out. Begged to be changed and manipulated. But the medicine, and the memory of Aditi Hilli on his wrist kept him in check. From everything dissolving in his hands.

Jesper ate the modest food at the inn, and insisted they take some payment. But they refused, so he snuck it in their bag later. He had to have learned something from his time in the Barrel.

He gave them hugs as they fretted, and went to bed. Sefu was already in the room, wrapping his locs in a scarf. 

"Your grandparents seem nice," he said softly. Jesper hated the low cadence of his voice. It was smooth and reassuring. "I see the family resemblance."

"You're the first person to ever say that in my life," Jesper said. "Most people attribute my dashing good looks to my mother."

"I'm sure, but there's something of Baba Jes as well in you." Sefu smiled. When Jesper didn't return the smile, Sefu looked away. "Tomorrow we will go speak to the inventors. They should have information on the water ships."

"That's good."

The silence stretched. "Jesper. I'm sorry. About everything that happened. You know how I feel about you. I didn't want you to get hurt. And you would have hurt yourself."

"How  _ do  _ you feel about me Sefu?"

Jesper watched as Sefu looked tortured. "I want you to be safe and happy."

He was disappointed. "I know. I forgive you. Everything is just hard right now." He rubbed his temple. "My head hurts all the time and nothing feels real. Not when I can change it with a touch of my hand."

"Find what is real then," Sefu replied. "Your folks downstairs. That giant ocean we crossed." The older boy had spent a great part of it heaving his meals back into the sea.

"True." Against better judgment he reached over and gripped Sefu's hand. "Thank you. For apologizing."

They fell back into silence, Jesper eventually falling asleep. 

In the morning they ate a simple breakfast, the other Zemenis communicating as best as they could with his grandparents. They took to his friends just as well as Colm had. Jesper, Sefu, and Atiena were on their way to meet with the inventors and the others would scope out the surrounding area. 

They followed the address to an inconspicuous building. A small man with wiry glasses opened up the door. "You must be our Zemeni friends," he said in Kaelish.

"Thank you for having us," Jesper said. The workshop reminded him of Wylan's lab in the Slat. Modest, with sketchbooks and chalkboards lying about. He could hear water bubbling in a kettle somewhere. "Is your colleague nearby?"

"Yes he's in the backroom, please come in." He offered them tea, and they went to where a man was sitting in the back. He had dirty blonde hair and a clean shaven beard, and was maybe in his early 30s. He immediately stood up.

"I'm Finn. Nice to meet you. Why don't we get to it?" 

Atiena immediately morphed into her confident self. Jesper was amazed by the transformation from weary traveler to charismatic politician. It wasn't difficult, when Finn was captivated by her. 

"As you know, Zemenis and Kaelish have had a longstanding relationship. Trade and movement of people, and sharing of resources. We have been more than happy to provide military assistance as well. The healing arts of your people and the Toshúgad have been instrumental in our own advancements."

_ Toshúgad.  _ Kaelish zowa who faced horrors until recently, and had often escaped to the North of Nyota Heri for their own safety. But Atiena left that unsaid. Finn was halfway in love already, the way he leaned in and hung to every word even as Jesper translated.

"Our representatives spoke with you recently about a machine that is quite new to us. Ravkan underwater vessels have recently attacked our shores," Atiena continued. "We do not have that technology. Our inventors have managed to replicate the airships of Ravka but not this." She artfully let her eyes drop down.

Finn stepped up. "Yes. We want to help you as well. That's why we meet today." He motioned at the inventor, who lay out blueprints on the table. 

Jesper didn't remember much about the parem other than the power, the way he could alter the world and sense things deep below the surface. The hunger rose a bit in him, and he put his hands in his lap. He turned a coin between his fingers. Silver. Gold. Silver. Gold.

But the specs on the page in front of him did look like those metal beasts, man-made whales he lifted from the deep. 

Atiena's eyes lit up. Sefu leaned in, intensely studying and asking questions. With the rapid translation, Jesper couldn't retain the information. It went in his ears and out his mouth, but he caught some words. Resources. Protection. Sturmhond. 

The meeting lasted for hours and he downed tea with honey, yet his voice still went hoarse. 

"This changes everything," Atiena said the minute they left the building. "Jesper thank you so much."

He nodded. "I'm glad we are done, or he would have proposed to you."

She gave a dismissive chuckle. Jesper was unsure if she was being modest or if she knew the effect she had on people. Even on him. The voice that could start a revolution. That kind of did - uniting zowa at home. 

"The sketches look right. Of course we can't prove that the Ravkan pirate took his idea but we have no concrete evidence, and we can only assume it was sold to the tsar." 

Jesper nodded. A pirate? Sefu talked about some of the noticeable differences and where they would need to follow up. Atiena was the only one with permission to make deals on behalf of the country so she would discuss it with them all that night. The youth council.

He still didn't understand all the changes in his life over the past year. Jesper had more money than he needed. A good relationship with his father. And people saw him as important and trustworthy. Not as a mistake and measurable by his vices. 

The others had a productive day. Toshúgad were still in hiding - a decade of peace did not resolve centuries of persecution. But there were rumors, and rumors were the truth in disguise. Men whose ships never sank, a farmer who's barley was always incredible. And a woman who haunted the coast, and cured any ailment for a price. 

Zemenis had always accepted the Toshúgad into their schools and society, never forced to be soldiers like those with the ill fortune to land in Ravka. Colm didn't speak much about them, but Jesper knew his fear ran deep. 

"This healer woman sounds like a good start. We need to push back against the imperialism. Fjerda can cross the Bone Road at any time, and they have always picked off Toshúgad here. We need to help protect them."

Jesper agreed. Zemenis had the resources and people the Kaelish didn't. And now, they had experience with Fjerdan tactics. But their allyship needed to go deeper, with the Kerch, Fjerda, and Ravka closing in.

"Why do you want to focus on this healer?" Jesper asked.

"She seems to be widely feared and respected. She may be a leader in the community."

Jesper nodded. That made sense. They didn't have much to go on outside of rumors. All the descriptions could have been any Kaelish woman. Red curly hair. Freckles. Light brown eyes. The only thing that everyone agreed on was that she had a powerful voice, a healing voice. She had a cottage by the sea. 

“Let’s go find a healer,” Jesper said with a shrug.


	2. The Normalcy of Sainthood

The sunlight streamed through the window of Leoni's small apartment she shared with Adrik. He was already out and about, at his day job as a translator for Ravkan refugees. She was headed back to the university to work with other zowa on defense measures and the parem antidote.

Their home was small, but it was a home. On the third floor above a delicious smelling bakery, she insisted they live in an area where many Ravkan refugees had settled, so it wasn't as difficult as an adjustment. Not like when she was living in Os Alta, the only one of her people. 

The mix of Zemeni and Ravkan in the neighborhood was charming, and she liked her walk to work. They regularly had dinners with her parents, who found Adrik charming and respectful. During the five years she had been gone they gave birth to her little brother, who they regularly babysat and took out on excursions.

But the city was tense - refugees begged to have their families follow them, but Eastern nations hadn't owned up to the terrorist attacks that ravaged them the previous year. The Council was relentless. The only way to get aid was through their allies in the Wandering Isle, delaying shipments by months. 

Nyota Heri was in an almost-war. The embargo was putting a strain on the Kerch, who had little natural resources of their own, Ravka, and Fjerda. The zowa had developed their own airships to rival Lantsov's, and they were trying to mimic the underwater ships with no luck yet. But Leoni was confident.

Nikolai Lantsov. Uncharacteristic anger boiled under her skin as she remembered the cavalier way he threatened to hang her. How he threw Zemenis at the mercy of Kerch, who were eager to destroy their fleet rather than work together. 

Fjerda also closed in.  _ Where greed reigns, hatred follows,  _ she thought to herself. 

Today they were focused on parem. Or more accurately, the synthetic that Fjerdans made. There was no telling how many more mothers and newborns were locked in warehouses. And there were the flying zowa by the Shu. Unlike most of the East, Zemenis wanted to give every single zowa the chance to be free. To make their own decisions. And to be free of the grip of parem. There was nothing to fear from the blessings.

The  _ bahandi _ had carefully moved to human experiments thanks to the bravery of Jesper Fahey. Leoni felt a pang of guilt - several months back home and she hadn't made an effort to see him, or the widower. By the time she worked up the courage, he was allegedly gone on a mission.

Zowa who took the parem had their powers transformed in incredible ways. So very few had been allowed a dosage. The antidote ensured they didn't lose their original abilities, but kept some of the enhancement. Leoni carefully measured the vials and particles inside. All was balanced. 

Outside the laboratory, she continued her art of forgery for intelligence and began training in a new fighting style to level the playing field against zowa. Adrik often joined her for these sessions. 

He was waiting for her at the field with a mango, perched on a concrete block. "How was your day?" He asked, giving her a kiss on the forehead. 

"Frustrating. I can't recreate what poison the Fjerdans made, so I can't find a cure either." It bothered her. They watched her carefully - after all, Leoni suffered two poisonings in a short time and her supervisors were not anxious to repeat it.

"You will  _ solynshko _ ," he reassured. Adrik had taken well to Ol'Umoyana. His skin had a nice tan, and freckles had exploded from just the bridge of his nose to his cheeks, and his blonde hair - now bleached from the constant sun - stood out more. Her own skin had become even darker since returning from Ravka, and her body fuller from the good food. 

"Hey white boy!" One of the zowa yelled. "Get over here!"

Adrik grinned and kissed her cheek. "That's me." Then he hopped up and walked over. The Zemenis teased him, but that's how Leoni knew he was part of the family. And Adrik took it all in stride, usually responding with his own dry wit. 

They respected him, and were impressed by his skill with only one arm. Leoni was impressed too. Her memory of Gäfvalle was weak from sickness, but she remembered the awe as Adrik cleaved a mountain of water in half, with no amplifier like others in Ravka. After watching him go head to head with other zowa, she jumped in, always ready to hone her skills. 

After a training where she practiced her hand to hand combat, they slowly began to walk back to their apartment. She enjoyed the late afternoon air and their evening ritual, going to the old city wall by the sea. They sat on the worn mortar and ate fruit, danced, and caught up with their neighbors before making dinner at home.

Leoni and Adrik moved around the small kitchen together - their balcony door pushed open wide to keep the space from overheating. It was a good life. The one she wanted - if they weren't currently under threat from enemy nations. It was easy to see the future with him.

After months of rest, she was ready. Adrik may have been declared a traitor to the throne of Ravka but he was now cleared to do missions for the Council, thanks to her passionate defense and his own efforts to save her. The experience was completely different than the Triumvirate. And now he was a probationary agent. 

Even after the sun went down they sat on the balcony, people watching until the autumn night was chilly. Adrik teased her for already being cold, and that in Ravka it would be snowing. She reminded him that in Ravka she also wouldn't be walking around with so much skin showing, which he thought was fine.

She loved being his fiance. Loved the work they did during the day, and being in bed with him at night. But she craved  _ more _ . Something new, with her feet on the ground. Leoni didn't train to be at home. 

"You thinking about leaving again?" Murmured Adrik in bed. He gently tugged on the small coils that snuck out of her headscarf and released them so they sprang up. "Did you tell your superiors?"

She nodded. "I'm ready. Are you?"

Adrik kissed her knuckles. "Yes. I haven't had a nightmare in months."

Leoni smiled. He did seem healthier. Happier. The mind doctor he went to helped - a kind woman with a soft voice and half Ravkan herself. She understood the war, the desperation. And piece by piece, Adrik stitched himself back together. He worked hard. 

"I'm becoming the man I want to be for you," he whispered. "And I want to help you. As long as they dont try to send us back to Ravka. Won't go over well." Leoni fell for him all over again whenever she looked at those pale green eyes, focused intensely on her. “I love the person I am with you.”

She replied with a kiss.

In the morning they were both called in to the agency. 

Chuku and Liyani were there, and she had to keep herself from running up to hug them. Adrik stood with his back straight and hands tucked behind his back. Ever the soldier. The arm she made him seemed more and more natural each day.

"Good to see you well adapted, Zhabin."

"Of course. It helps my fiance has been by my side. I am lucky to be in this country and am ready to serve it."

Liyani nodded. "Excellent. We believe we have an ideal mission for you two. Our allies have been reaching out to us." She glanced at Adrik. "Our true allies so to speak. The people of I'a Nui have become concerned about Ravka and Fjerda's growing imperialism and have requested to meet with agents. We are sending Ambassador Kaboyonga and would like you two to accompany him. Having a Ravkan there will affirm what we already know, and Inyoni, your disposition will suit Nui'ians well."

I'a Nui. A small but mighty monarchy. They remained largely untouched thanks to their unusually high number of zowa, many of whom were powerful. She was excited. They rarely allowed visitors. They weren’t so much secretive, but distrustful, which Leoni felt was validated. The Kerch had tried to approach them before in conquest, thinking the peaceful people would cave in. Instead, the Nui’ians had sent the Kerch ships to the bottom of the ocean. 

Liyani debriefed them, giving them an intense training on etiquette around Nui'ians as well as ambassadorship. It was a different beast than blending in with Ravkans. Chuku demonstrated and critiqued them. 

Again and again, they drilled Adrik and Leoni on what to do. Who to address, what was  _ kapu _ , or taboo. How to properly eat with their hands. The reverence for the ocean, the land, and the sky. The genders of their society. Ravkan was a heavy language, and Adrik had a difficult time with the flowing vowels of Nui’ian. But he learned all the basic phrases.

Adrik and Leoni went through another two weeks of intensive training before meeting with Ambassador Kaboyonga. 

It had been several years since Leoni met his daughter, but she still saw some resemblance. He had the same aura that drew her in, with charming stories and a sense of power. 

"The goal is to have Zemeni and Nui’ian diplomats present at our ambassadors ball in a few month's time. There is a lot of work to do." Leoni felt a thrill go through her. The thought of attending a ball like that - even as security - was magical. Beautiful outfits and music, people from all over the world.

That night Leoni and Adrik cleaned their apartment, donating food they wouldn't eat and covering furniture. Leoni packed her favorite guns carefully and polished them, Adrik practicing some of his zowa fighting motions. It was quick work and they met their small crew at dawn at the train station. He marveled at the station. It was brand new and zowa-built, a miniature version of the massive terminal in the stone city Dinigayi. 

"I've never seen a train like this," Adrik confessed. It was a sleeper train, outfitted with “cocoons”. They were like tiny rooms for individual people, and lead out to sitting areas. It seemed luxurious compared to the carriages of Ravka. Even Leoni was getting used to the advances of Nyota Heri. 

Leoni smiled as they settled in. "We need to leave from a port in the West. The civilian airships aren't finished with their trial runs, so this will be the fastest way."

"Are the trains here that fast?" He asked. 

"Why don't you sit by the window and see. We'll even be skirting around the jungles if I'm right."

The East-West super trains were an engineering pride. Powered by steam and  _ 'moylilos _ , they achieved speeds never thought of before. The train whistle blew, and they were off. 

Speed was modest until they reached the outskirts of the city. It was then it started to pick up. Faster and faster, until it was barrelling along the tracks. Adrik was glued to the window, staring as the grasslands stretched out, dotted by occasional flat-topped trees and glimpses of animals. Massive clouds of white birds swarmed, flying in spirals over vast fields. Herds of zebras grazing. Adrik asked what animals were what, and Leoni used her ability to “sketch” them onto a pad for him.

"This is incredible," Adrik whispered, looking between the sketchpad and the window.

She loved seeing her country through his eyes. How he appreciated the way they took care of their own - how decades of peace meant their innovation focused on people instead of warmongering. A place where he could finally focus on healing, not just on the next battle. 

"When will we get there? I know they told us but I've completely forgotten." Adrik shook his head. "How was I ever a commanding officer."

"Don't be so hard on yourself love," she said. "Tomorrow evening. Then we spend the night in the port, and leave in the morning for I'a Nui."

Adrik nodded, and took her hand in his. After months of awkwardness, she loved that he would hold her hand with his fake arm too. Not just the flesh one. She never minded, not with him. “I wish we could see the city too,” he murmured. They had mostly been confined to Ol’Umoyana since he moved. But there were so many cities - each region vastly different. 

“Someday,” she said. "The city of  Te ƙofa will be there when we return.” 


	3. The Woman by the Water

Everyone figured it would be best for Atiena and Jesper to go alone. The less people, the less threatening. They bundled up tight, his grandmother wrapping hand knit scarves around their necks. "Can't have you catching a cold," Molly murmured. Jesper felt warmth spread in his chest. They didn't know he was Toshúgad too, that he rarely got sick.

Atiena looked as stunning as ever, even bundled up in homespun wool. Apparently his grandparents also thought so. "She would make a beautiful granddaughter," Molly said with a raise of her eyebrows. 

Jesper stole a peek at Sefu, who cut a strong figure talking to Sean. "She would."

They took his grandparents horses and set off towards the rumored cottage. They had gifts with them - a shawl, spices, and jurda cigarettes from Nyota Heri. They saw the telltale signs - yew trees growing thick. Less and less people. 

After a half hour of riding without civilization, the trees thinned out. The cottage reminded him of a stone version of the Fahey farm - simple, by the crags, with a porch. But the wind bit at his exposed skin and he could hear the waves crashing against the rocks. The relentless buzz in his mind calmed.

Something was peaceful. The ground solid. The world felt quiet and raw. As they approached, the door opened to the cottage.

When people described her as a pale, freckled redhead, Jesper thought of any other Kaelish woman. But shock went through him. She had curly red hair in a tight afro. Her skin was pale, yes, but she also had a wide nose and full lips, and high cheekbones that drew attention to her endless dark eyes. She was half Zemeni, like him. They were opposites. He had dark skin and light eyes but he recognized his own.

"Dia Dhuit," he called out. 

The woman nodded at him and he swung his leg over the horse so he could offer Atiena a hand down. She didn't need it, even if she was short. But it was a point of pride - Zemeni women needed to be treated as legally as anyone else. People said she was the closest thing they had to a princess.

Atiena gave the woman a curtsey. She nodded back. It was then that Jesper noticed one of her eyes didn't move quite the same. Fake.

"Welcome," the woman said. She wasn't dressed in as thick of layers as Jesper and Atiena, but she did have a coat clinging tightly to her frame. She was a solidly built woman no slight features to be seen, and she had fine lines on her face. It was hard to tell how old she was. Her tight curls bounced in the wind. "Who are you?"

"This is Ambassador Atiena Kaboyonga. I am Jesper Fahey, translator."

She leveled a gaze at the two of them. "Fahey. Are those your folks at the pub?”

He nodded. She considered him. “Come in. My name is Brigid.”

The inside was cluttered and cozy - a roaring fire was heating up the sitting area and a she shooed a cat off of a cushioned chair that she sat in. “Why are you here?” she asked. Jesper translated.

“We wanted to see if the rumors were true,” Atiena started. “We’ve heard you’re a healer of great renown, and it is an honor to meet you.”

Jesper didn’t entirely understand the undercurrent of the room. There were two powerful women in front of him, that much was easy to feel. It was tactile, and their gazes leveled at each other were ones of empathy. Atiena stood ramrod straight, her hands clasped in front of her. 

Brigid looked between the two of them, and then motioned for them to sit. Her good eye looked between the two of them while her prosthetic stayed still. “Jesper, you are on familial soil. What brings you so far from home, Atiena?” 

Jesper felt heat in his cheeks, as he translated. Atiena smiled at her, perched on the edge of the sofa. "The countries of the east have been making calculated moved against Nyota Heri. We are seeking ways to stop them, and we cannot leave our allies prone, when the Bone Road connects you to Fjerda."

She seemed to consider this. “It would be nice to have the Bone Road back. Fjerdan fishing vessels are polluting the waters.” Brigid looked between the two of them. “Very well. Please stay for some tea and scones.”

There was no way that the Zemenis would pass on the opportunity. Jesper had the distinct feeling it wasn’t a request. He watched as she put dried herbs and tea leaves into three packets, enthralled by the ritualistic way she worked. She hummed and a calmness sang through him. Atiena looked at Jesper curiously, and then he averted his eyes, focusing on the rugs instead. He flipped the coin in his pocket. Silver, gold. Silver, gold. 

Atiena took charge of the conversation with Jesper as the go-between. She asked about the decorations, the weather, the clothing that Brigid wore. Jesper found it quite clever - the woman warmed up as they shared snacks and even appeared to like Atiena by the end of their conversation. But Jesper knew Brigid was observing him the most. He couldn’t figure out why.

When they left, Brigid agreed she would go to Nyota Heri with them. Jesper avoided her unwavering gaze and helped Atiena onto her horse before sitting on his.  _ I miss Nguvu _ , he thought. He’d known the horse since he was a young child. 

His grandparents were waiting for him when he got back to the inn, sweeping him up in hugs. “You must come to dinner with us tonight,” Molly chided. “We want to hear about everything.”

_ Even when I took a dangerous untested drug and dragged machines out of the ocean? _ He mused.  _ Or when I kissed a boy. Boys. _ He felt a pang of guilt. That Wylan hadn’t been the first kiss he thought of. The blockade was impossible - correspondence halted and any letters sent had to make their way through the Wandering Isle or Shu Han into Nyota Heri. He needed to write Wylan and tell him he was okay - that things would be back to normal soon. Whatever that meant. 

Jesper walked to his bedroom and felt the anxiousness creep back in. His skin crawled, his fingers fidgeted, and he couldn’t help looking at or thinking about every object that passed his field of view. He palmed the coin, feeling the transient properties as much as he could, and focused on specific things. The sounds of the docks nearby. The scrape of Sefu’s pen as he wrote at the desk. His breath drawing in, filling up his lungs, and then exhaling slowly.

“You okay?” Rumbled Sefu’s voice. Jesper looked over. 

“I’ll be fine,” he murmured. “The meeting went well though.”

"That's good to hear." Sefu shifted and Jesper watched the way his shoulders moved under the layers of wool, long locs swaying with his movements. "We should be able to leave soon once Atiena draws up an agreement and has it signed." 

"I might be out tonight," Jesper said. "I'm going to my grandparent's house."

Sefu smiled at him. “I hope you have a wonderful time.” 

“Thanks.” Jesper nodded his head towards the desk. “What are you writing?”

“Oh nothing of importance,” he said. Jesper wanted to walk over and peek at whatever Sefu was working on, but Jesper had to remember he wasn’t allowed to do that. It wasn’t fair. And the weird liminal space he was occupying meant he needed to focus on the task at hand, which was surviving an evening with family he barely remembered. 

Molly and Sean were ready for Jesper when he walked down, wearing clothes more suited for Ketterdam and the Wandering Isle than Nyota Heri. Sefu looked at him curiously but didn’t say anything as Jesper snapped his suspenders into place and grabbed a wool jacket.

The ride wasn’t terribly long - fifteen minutes deeper into the port city to the residential area. They chatted about his cousins and distant relations that would be visiting, names that Jesper couldn’t keep straight in his head. A Connor was mentioned, a Sinead, and one or two Dillons. 

When Jesper walked into the cozy house, everyone cheered. He was greeted by faces he vaguely recognized. Hazy memories on his mother's lap in the room, or playing with cousins. But nothing concrete. He was bombarded with hugs, kisses, and introductions. 

He was easily taller than all his family, and his skin, hair, and features made him feel awkward like he was in Ketterdam again. But unlike Ketterdam they were work. Someone in the backyard struck up a fiddle. Drinks and food were passed around and the voices were loud. 

Unexpectedly, he has family in Kerry too. Why had he never visited? Why did he think they didn't love him? He forgot all about the eerie encounter with Brigid, and submerged himself in the chaos of the Fahey family.

Jesper found himself in the unusual position of listening more than talking. He drank all the tales about his father. How Colm had also run wild in the countryside, made friends with everyone. How his father would get into brawls.

In turn, Jesper talked about the farm. He skirted past Ketterdam, not knowing how his family felt about his tendency to love any gender, or his proclivities to crime. Instead he mentioned the jurda crops, the different cities he visited, and the new ways his father was marketing the blooms.

They hung on to his every word. "Look how far the Faheys have gone!" Sean exclaimed, a proud look on his face, thumping Jesper's back with his palm.

As extended family took leave, Jesper sat in the sitting room with his grandparents. "Thank you for having me," he said. And he meant it.

"We've missed you love," Molly said. "We always want to see you. But it wasn't possible after your mum passed. May she rest in peace." She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief.

"You knew my mum?" Jesper asked, sitting up. "What do you remember?"

"Absolutely lovely," Sean chimed in. "Its easy to see why Colm was enamored. Excellent cook, gorgeous, and an eye for business. You used to sit with her right there," he pointed at an oversized chair in the corner. 

Jesper felt his eyes sting. But he couldn't bring himself to sit there. "How come I couldn't come back?" He asked.

They shared a worried look. Molly spoke first. "Well. Your mother is the only one that could bring you. Jesper," she twisted her hands. "Your father isn't allowed back. He left home for his own safety, not just to farm."

Jesper was taken aback. "What do you mean his safety?"

"He was involved in things that were not bad. Just not…" she trailed off.

"Legal," Sean interrupted. "We never stopped loving you, Jesper. But your father is a complicated man."

"He never told you about his troubles?" She asked. 

Jesper shook his head, looking between them.

"I suppose it's time," Molly sighed. "Let's put on the kettle first."


	4. The Story of Colm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my friend Yann, who helped me immensely to flesh out the Wandering Isle, and Colm.

_ 40 years ago. _

_ Colm had a best friend. They met when she was five. They both had red hair and freckles and their families were close. She was an outcast in the little hamlet but Colm didn't see those things. She was funny and they loved each other the way kids loved. They were never seen apart, except when they had chores and classes. _

_ Their hamlet had always been filled with little miracles. Nestled deep in the Kaelish countryside, the people kept to themselves and were wary of any visitors.  _

_ When Colm was 12 he understood why. _

_ They came upon a little bird once, its wing broken in a fight with a cat. She cried terribly even as Colm assuaged her. "Can you keep a secret?" She asked. He nodded, and then she screwed her face in concentration, humming.  _

_ She unfurled her hands and the bird emerged, whole. It flew away and he stared. "Toshúgad," he whispered.  _

_ He guarded her secret jealously. His parents joked that they would end up married someday - best friends. But he knew she would never love anyone like that and Colm thought of her as a sister. _

_ Then they came one day. Cold people in strange outfits. They heard about the miracles of this nameless hamlet, that tried to scrub itself off the map. Promised safety, and grabbed her by the wrist.  _

_ All Colm saw was his best friend being dragged out of her house crying. He ran over from next door, shouting and holding a stick he found. He tried hitting the men, smashing it to pieces on one's head. _

_ "Let her go!" He cried out. But he was a stocky and stout 13 year old boy. They shoved him off easily and made it hard for him to breathe. _

_ And then she sang out. _

_ Colm knew she had a pretty voice - the way she sang Kaelish songs made everyone listen. But this keening wail shook everything. The earth rumbled and the sky erupted. The strangers in their bizarre red, blue, and purple outfits looked up in fear.  _

_ The sky split open in a violent storm and lightening struck, blinding Colm. He was aware of her voice, the strangers distracted now and throwing their arms up towards the sky trying to manipulate the clouds. But she was the rage of a teenage girl, feral, wild, and in her element.  _

_ She ran away, never to be seen again.  _

_ Rumor had it she ran into the sea. That she set herself on fire. That she flew into the air. Whatever it was, she had escaped, and Colm had a hole in his chest the size of his best friend. What he had seen extended beyond Toshúgad. He had witnessed in her the deep and untamed magic of the Wandering Isle.  _

_ They had to relocate to Kerry in the end. He didn't like his school and he started fights with kids who spoke ill of Toshúgad, so Molly tutored him instead. Colm wasn't suited for classrooms. Instead as grew, he took up apprenticeships. At the docks one year, and then another at a farm. He worked with his hands. _

_ Life was hard for the Faheys, and Colm became a testy teenager. He kept to himself. Quiet. How could he associate with people scared of Toshúgad when he had witnessed the mighty power himself? _

_ By the time Colm turned 20 his body finally filled out. He was tall enough by Kaelish standards, and his apprenticeships meant he was strong and swarthy. The Faheys started an inn but there were still troubles, and Colm didn't know what to do with the rage inside him. _

_ So he fought. _

_ It started with seedy underground rings for some quick gold. Then it developed into still seedy underground rings with large payouts and high wagers. It was satisfying to use his fists, to feel the sweat drip off his lips and the metallic sting of blood in his mouth.  _

_ Because after the fights, a healer Toshúgad would tend to him. His skin itched as it was pieced back together brand new. He saw his childhood friend in all of them.  _

_ One night the Toshúgad was fearful. This one was young - not much older than she had been, but with blond hair and a nervous expression. He was distracted, and Colm was worried the boy would seal his lips shut. _

_ "You alright lad?" He asked.  _

_ "There are Fjerdans in town," he said fearfully. "They take people like me and they kill us. We can hide in Ravka but they make us fight. And die." _

_ "No one should have to do that," Colm replied fiercely. “There must be a way to help you. Someplace where you are safe.” _

_ “Only one place, Novyi Zem. They don’t care about us. They call us zowa.” _

_ It took Colm awhile to learn the ropes. The benefit to being in an illegal fighting ring, was that it was easier to find people involved in other illegal activities. Like moving Toshúgad and their families out of the country and to the safety of Novyi Zem. The boy had been right - Fjerdans were lurking in every port, offering large sums of money for information. They patrolled the bone road, and were known to snatch up anyone seen alone in the countryside. _

_ Colm hoped she had been able to escape them, but he had to trust in her. That she could find her way. But in the meantime, he learned who was pro-Toshúgad, and who was willing to help. He put the money he earned fighting into greasing pockets. Into changing ship manifests. Into guaranteeing passage for children especially. Those most likely to be caught. _

_ He grew a reputation, separate from that as a fighter. Someone who was honorable and trustworthy. He even used his knowledge of ships to make the journey himself a couple of times, a member of the crew. Colm was familiar with hard work.  _

_ There was a family who wanted to escape, but it was tricky. Two young boys - Ross and Ronan. Ross was 12 and Ronan was 7, both Toshúgad like their parents. The younger boy was wild, loud, and liked to show off his flames. It was unsafe to keep him in the Wandering Isle any longer.  _

_ Colm himself went to help transport them.  _

_ But it was too late. _

_ He felt 13 again as he approached the village and heard the screaming. The sobs. Urging his horse faster, he saw the mother screaming as they dragged her son away, men holding back her and her husband, who was also shouting himself hoarse. Their hands were bound in back of each other. _

_ These weren't Fjerdans or Ravkans. These were Kaelish fanatics. _

_ They believed magic was in the blood. Colm took out his gun but it was too late for the older boy. They had taken a knife to his throat and ruby red drops leaked, before gushing out. Colm could barely keep his stomach contents down before shooting the man holding the knife, then the one holding the younger boy.  _

_ Colm wasn't fast enough to save the parents. The little boy screamed over the body of his brother, Colm noticing an object in his hands. _

_ "Strike it lad!" He shouted.  _

_ An inferno rose from the young boy, and shouts erupted. Everything became fire and flame. Colm reloaded his gun quickly. His feet slammed against the cobblestone as he approached him. Ronan, by the description. _

_ "You have to run!" He shouted. "I'll keep them away but you have to run and hide from these monsters. I'll come find you after!" _

_ The boy wailed. "My cat! She's inside!" _

_ "I'll try to find her. Please go!" _

_ The boy finally took off running. Colm aimed his pistol at the men who tried to chase him, as a bullet grazed his own side. The village was up in flames and chaos everywhere as people ran out of their houses, most prized possessions in tow. He saw a cat and prayed it was the right one. Colm gripped the cat and got onto his horse. _

_ He found Ronan later, shivering in the woods. "Mr. Meow!" He said. Colm was distraught. The boy was frighteningly cold and dirty, with soiled pants. Colm helped change him into a clean shirt and scrubbed his face. It was too cold to dunk him in the river.  _

_ They were on the road to Kerry when Colm was finally hopeful. He could get the boy onto a ship, and he would go with him. His family was dead, and he would be a wanted man after this. Maybe he could get some land with his saved gold, start a farm. He had an old friend in Ol'Umoyana.  _

_ At the inn, he snuck Ronan in without being seen and gave the boy a thorough bath. "Sleep, little one, and I'll take you to safety in the morning." _

_ When he went downstairs, there was a man in a familiar red robe. The hairs on his skin rose. Grisha, from Ravka. The kind that made his friend disappear. "Your kind aren't welcome here," he growled. _

_ "The boy you're helping says otherwise," the woman said. _

_ "I mean Ravkans. The kind that steal children." _

_ "You judge too harshly," she said. "And you know you can't provide a life for that boy. And when - not if - the Kaelish government catches you, he'll simply lose another person. Let me take him to the Little Palace. He will be under the care of the General of the Second Army, and the King." _

_ "He will die in your war." _

_ "Only if it lasts that long. Do you even know what to do with his power?" She asked haughtily. _

_ It was true. And a man arriving with a boy unrelated to him in a foreign country would raise alarms, he admitted. "I know he deserves what's best." _

_ The woman nodded to the space behind him. "Why not let him choose." _

_ He whirled around to see Ronan peeking. Colm sighed. "May as well come out, lad." _

_ The boy looked so small in his night shirt, holding a cat half the size of him.  _

_ "What's your name?" The woman asked.  _

_ "Ronan Harshaw," he whispered.  _

_ "You have quite the gift for fire. We call you an Inferni. A summoner. Don't you want to meet others like you safe in a palace of gold?" _

_ In the end, Colm didn't stand a chance. _

_ Molly and Sean watched over the cat, and Colm couldn’t help but feel he should have fought harder for Ronan. But it didn’t matter anyway - the authorities caught up to him.  _

_ Standard punishment for illegal smuggling was hard labor. Colm was sentenced to untwining rope, rough on the hands and causing ugly lacerations, scars up and down his hands that could never fully heal, even with the help of a Toshúgad.  _

_ And he fled. _

_ He managed to say goodbye to his parents before setting on a boat to Ol’Umoyana to begin a new life. Farming jurda. Hard work, but Colm was no stranger. The sun was strange, for sure. But he became a new person. He met the love of his life - and had a beautiful son. Even if he couldn’t return home, he carried it with him. _

Present Day

The candles had burned down low by the time Molly and Sean recounted the past, taking breaks to dab at tears or fill in the gaps the other couldn’t remember. How had he never noticed? How had he never thought his sweet, humble, father had such a storied past? 

“Please don’t think less of your father,” Sean said. “Everything he did, it was for good.”

“I could never think less of him,” Jesper said. “Not after that. He was magnificent.” A good man, with a hard life. He went over and hugged both of them, feeling closer than ever to the Fahey part. He felt like a puzzle being completed. His mother’s spirit hummed on his wrist, and he did have a family. He had a  _ history _ . It took awhile to learn but now it bolstered him. A strong woman, who knew future Ambassadors and Council Elders, a father who helped others at his own detriment. 

They shared happier stories the rest of the night, until Jesper fell asleep on their couch. 

He woke up with heavy wool blankets on top of him, and a pillow under his head. An ancient long-haired cat was staring at him from across the room. “Hello,” he mumbled from under the covers. The cat let out an unceremonious meow that sounded more like a groan. 

“Me too, granny  _ oncat _ ,” he said, using the Kaelish word. 

“Oh, you’re awake!” He heard Molly shout from the kitchen. “I’ve got some coffee if you’d like some, love.”

“Thanks,” he said, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Everything was so comfortable here, he was surprised. Even if his cousins made some insensitive comments the past night ( _ How did you get your hair like that _ ?  _ Have you got ports and coffee in Ol’Umoyana? Your skin is so smooth!) _ they had been kind. He would never want to live in such a dreary country but he did want to come back and visit them. 

He put a generous amount of cream in his coffee before sipping on it, imagining the ways his father fit into their life. A complete picture. His father, running around with some other hellion child. Jesper was more like his Da than he thought. Colm’s willingness to help in Ketterdam made more sense. 

They rode back to the inn. The Zemenis were clustered downstairs and waved eagerly at him. Jesper smiled. 

"Welcome back dear translator," Atiena cooed. "I had to resort to batting my eyelashes."

"How tragic for you," Sefu grumbled. It was then that Jesper noticed Finn nearby, staring at her.

"They want to draw up agreements now, sorry to put you to work immediately," Atiena said, ignoring her little brother. "Shall we begin?"


	5. I'a Nui

Leoni and Adrik snuck out of their hotel room in  Te ƙofa to grab dinner. There were guards watching over the ambassador so they went to the night market to get jollof rice, ogbono soup with pounded yams, and fruit juices. The stalls were packed together, and the West Zemeni dialect filtered through the air. 

Where Ol’Umoyana had the open breezy air,  Te ƙofa was packed all the way to the docks. The stalls and streets were a maze, with apartment buildings and stores blending in seamlessly. The red dirt below was pounded flat by feet. The air was heavy and hazy, and vendors tried to push overpriced wares onto Adrik, suspecting him to be a tourist. When he spoke to them in Zemeni, they immediately smiled, joking with him and showing him off. Leoni couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up. 

“It’s nice to be stared at because I’m pale, not because I don’t have an arm,” Adrik commented. “Although I would like to save money every so often.”

“That’s why you have me,” Leoni said.

Leoni was filled with memories of school, giggling with her friends at the zowa school, buying pretty ribbons, shells, and beads to weave into their coily hair, looking at handsome boys who strolled around, chins tilted high and winking at them. Lanterns illuminated ornate clothes, art, and wares for sale. 

Adrik was eager to try all the food, and bought Leoni a headscarf that she was eyeing. Leoni planted all the kisses on him that she couldn’t in front of the Ambassador, her hand gripped tightly in his. They went back to the hotel with full stomachs, their room overlooking the dusky streets, giving way to the vast ocean blackness. 

“We’re sailing across that,” Leoni whispered excitedly. 

Adrik walked up behind her, wrapping his arms tight around her waist. He burrowed his face in the crook of his neck. “Then let's take advantage of this privacy before we’re on a ship.”

They were alert the next morning, flanking Ambassador Kaboyonga with straight spines. Leoni stole glances at Adrik’s perfect posture, reminding her of their mission in Fjerda. But no more dreary landscapes and drab outfits. The sea was magnificent before them, as they stood on the deck of a sleek Zemeni vessel.

Dark wood from the jungles mixed with a special zowa compound that made it sturdy. Guns were outfitted on the sides - top of the line technology that would humble Fjerdans. The sun was still low on the horizon, causing the pink-orange sky to be reflected on the water. After the captain surveyed the ship and manifest, they set sail.

The crew was a mix of Zemenis and a couple of Shu that had made their trade on the Zemeni seas and were trusted by the Captain. They were sharing a room with the crew members, and expected to take turns patrolling during the night. Adrik didn’t look thrilled but Leoni lightly elbowed him. “It’s just for now,” she teased. “You’ll be fine.”

“Will I?” 

Leoni's box braids whipped around until she tied them back. Adrik was helping the other zowa fill the sails. Her lips tasted like salt, and in her  _ bahandi  _ eye she saw the pigments, the different colors that made up the expanse of water before her. The white of the clouds transitioning to all manners of blues and greens swirling around. 

Their 2 days at sea were uneventful. They would spend time in their hammocks. The wind helped carry them but when doldrums settled the zowa gave it a push. 

"I'a Nui!" A man called out. Leoni and Adrik ran up to the bow together, to see the island nation as it approached.

Leoni heard that from above, the different islands looked like a fish. But in front of her all she saw were giant teeth-like structures. The moveable gates. Right now they were open. She looked down into the water and saw a giant shadow, bigger than any she had ever seen. Leoni gasped when an eye opened up. It was one of the legendary protective creatures, in the form of an impossibly big whale shark.

"What is that?" Adrik whispered.

"_Aliʻi ma kahi hohonu_," one of the crew said. "King in the Deep."

Leoni reached her hand over the railing, wanting to touch its skin. "It has freckles like you," she said to Adrik. 

They slowed as they entered the Kingdom, verdant green isles spread before them. Mountains with deep depressions in the sides from waterfalls. They slowed down further as they approached the barrier reef, and she gasped at the kaleidoscope of colors underneath. It was beautiful. 

I'a Nui didn't like to receive visitors so its port was small, only large enough to hold the few Zemeni merchant ships that sailed through. They docked easily, and a reception was already waiting. 

The weather was warm, even warmer than Ol'Umoyana, and the air was thick with humidity. Adrik's face was already flushed from the heat. Leoni studied the welcoming party. They wore clothes made out of giant leaves and cloth, woven together so perfectly it had to be zowa made. 

If Ravka was slow to industrialize, I'a Nui didn't bother to try. For Leoni it felt like stepping back in time. They built with and around nature, alongside waterfalls and up the mountains. Wind, sun, and water powered them. Volcanic rock was fashioned into roofs, and the different island communities traded amongst each other.

Ambassador Kaboyonga raised a gentle fist to his heart and gave a bow. "Thank you for granting us passage, guardians."

A woman with long, thick wavy hair and a lined face returned the gesture to him. "Welcome back to I'a Nui, Ambassador. We trust you will enjoy your stay."

"Thank you. These are my personal guard and youth delegates Inyoni and Yaroslav."

Hearing their passport names jolted Leoni. But she still gave a short bow with her fist crossed over just as the ambassador did. 

"We will show you to your rooms. The cooling system should help you adapt to our weather. Our welcome feast tonight will take place after the sun settles." They were led to their accommodations, trekking to an enclave in the mountain.

There were no walls, but instead palm fronds woven against the windward side, and a beautiful thatched roof. Leoni saw that a system of water hydraulics that moved giant fan leaves to keep cool air circulating, moving up and down at each corner.

"Brilliant," she whispered. There was a privacy divider for the ambassador, and comfortable hammocks made for them of taro and zowa power. Leoni and Adrik settled in, her breath taken away by the endless blue around them. She could see other islands in the distance, and the catamarans criss crossing between them. 

They changed into soft, lightweight clothing and climbed into their hammocks. She felt the breeze, reaching a hand over to link her pinky with Adrik's. Leoni thought this was what paradise must look like. Beautiful colors, nature respected and present everywhere. Even though sweat trickled down her, the warmth felt good on her skin.

When the sun hung low, Leoni tied her hair up in a giant bun and they escorted the Ambassador down to the feast hall. Long wooden tables were laid with delicacies. She saw an earth oven being opened, revealing the pig wrapped in banana leaves below. 

The Chieftain wore a gorgeous cloak made of bright yellow feathers, and surveyed them. He was a powerfully built man, with broad shoulders a thick middle. He had traditional Nui'ian tattoos on his chest and arm, snaking down under his clothes and onto his thighs. They depicted the legendary creatures and patterns. Leoni knew they meant something, but they were guarded secrets. She thought of her own scarification.

They sat on either side of the Ambassador at the low table. She wanted to sit next to Adrik and steal small touches, but that would be offensive in the eating house. 

"Welcome Ambassador," the Chief boomed out. He had wavy thick gray and black hair that grazed his shoulder, a wide set nose, and high cheekbones that lead to deepest brown eyes. He wore no shirt but a skirt made of taro cloth, elaborately designed with feathers and shells. "I hope you are enjoying your time so far. My daughter was able to meet you at the pier."

His Zemeni was heavily accented but articulate and Leoni was impressed. According to custom they couldn't talk politics until they ate together and exchanged gifts. 

Leoni presented gifts to the daughter and wife - beautiful and elaborate diadems of Zemeni jewels, giant nets for fishing, spices and delicacies. Adrik presented deadly fishing hooks, spears, and beautiful instruments. People admired and examined each gift as they were passed around.

Torches were lit everywhere, casting everyone in a warm glow. Dancers told stories in movement as they ate. 

The pork was tender and smokey, the coconut juice chilled, and fruits sweet. She laughed as Adrik did his best to eat a papaya, giving her a wink when the Ambassador was engrossed in conversation. She rolled her eyes and bit into pineapple, glad her dark skin hid any rush of blood. She liked playful, relaxed Adrik. Her fiance.

The Chieftain was laughing, a good sign. She was gifted a strand of black pearls that she tied into a headband, and a necklace of coral. Adrik received his own Nui'ian staff, like their own 'moylilo used. The Ambassador received several beautiful gifts as well. 

When the food had been eaten and cleared away, Adrik and Leoni were dismissed. Happy to have some alone time, they lay on top the rug together, feeling the ocean breeze. 

"Maybe I'll sell some of these shells when we get back," Adrik joked. "Then I can finish paying the bride price to your family." 

"You know it doesn't matter. Not really."

"I think your father's exact words were -" he pitched his voice in a perfect imitation. "My daughter is priceless but you marrying her is not."

They laughed. Here on I'a Nui the sky was brilliant. Countless stars, with other planets and galaxies visible because of how perfect it was. Preservation of the land was a pivotal part of Nui'ian beliefs. And in exchange, it took care of them and the Guardians watched over them. 

“What do you think the Ambassador is trying to talk them into?” Adrik suddenly asked. 

“I have no idea,” Leoni said. “That’s above my pay grade.”

“Are we getting paid for this? I feel like I should have asked that earlier.”

“Quite a bit,” she said. “Way more than in Ravka. You didn’t read your contract?”

“Not particularly. I saw that you signed it, so I did.”

Leoni rolled her eyes but smiled. “I don’t pretend to understand war, I just want to help people. And they think the Nui’ians and Kaelish can help, so I’ll help them.”

“Funny, in Ravka they seemed so small. Island countries with little to no military presence, that couldn’t really benefit the crown. The Kaelish were seen as people we could recruit. And I believe the term used for Nui’ians was ‘savages’. But it’s the opposite. It’s lovely and peaceful here, and in Nyota Heri. Ravka’s got it all wrong.”

Leoni sucked her teeth, giving Adrik a glance. “Look at you, sounding like a regular revolutionary.”

Adrik looked at her, and his pale face and features caught the moonlight. He was extraordinary. The pieces of him didn’t stand out on their own - light green eyes, blonde hair warmed by the sun, light skin, and an average build made strong by war and zowa power. But together he was a sight to behold, his freckles mirroring the stars in the sky.

“I think the world will change soon,” she whispered. “In one of those impossible ways. I know they’re setting up pieces of the game but I think the whole board will be thrown away. With jurda parem, and with the war crimes of Fjerda, we can’t come back from that.”

Adrik nodded. “I don’t want our children in the future to fear them.”

“More than one?” Leoni teased. “Easy for you to say, I have to do all the work.”

He chuckled. “Fine. I don’t want to be outnumbered anyway, I’ve only got one arm to catch with.”

Leoni responded by giving him a soft kiss.


	6. Magic and Science

The Kaelish Parliament was on board with the Zemenis, much to Jesper’s relief. Atiena gushed and lightly touched Finn’s arm as he relayed the news, making the man flush and smile brilliantly. The Kaelish would allow Toshúgad to move freely between the two states for training and education, and zowa from Nyota Heri would also move to the Wandering Isle for safety measures. The Kaelish would limit the influence of Ravka on their kind, and with the help of their allies, fight against the trafficking perpetuated by Fjerda. 

“Shall you come and teach here?” Finn asked hopefully.

“I shall not,” Atiena said. “But I’ll visit from time to time.”

Jesper had to hide his smile as he translated between them, Sefu bringing him tea with honey to soothe his throat. He never thought he would get  _ tired _ of talking but here he was, going over the specifics of some very drab government business between them all. The Kaelish would also be giving the Zemenis the schematics of the submarine, free. They simply asked for their own, once the Zemenis completed building. 

Jesper was struck by the good faith between the countries - and the trust. The Kerch would never enter into bargains like this. And as far as he knew, neither would Ravka. The negotiations lasted for hours, and still burdened by the knowledge of his dad’s story, Jesper was bone-tired.

He went to take another sip of tea, only to find it empty. Sefu approached with a fresh cup. “Thank you,” Jesper murmured. 

“Always,” Sefu responded. 

Jesper smiled at the gesture and sipped. Sefu pulled up a chair and they sat in companionable silence as everyone had a round of drinks to celebrate the signed agreement. “I think things are going our way,” he commented. 

Unlike others, Atiena was transparent with Jesper about their goals and how they would get them. It was a foreign feeling from Ketterdam, from the oppressive walls of the Slat, where he was treated as too stupid to be trusted with anything. And then in the end, Jesper became what Kaz saw in him. Willing to sell some plans to get debt forgiven. He realized now that the loyalty was built on weak foundations.

He noticed Sefu writing again in a notebook. Sefu had retreated into his introvert tendencies and Jesper desperately missed the days where he would share bits of information excitedly. 

"Are we going home soon?" Jesper asked Atiena when she disentangled herself from her suitor. 

"Yes. We need to unload our gifts to them and then we will set sail. If you have anything else that needs to be said to your family, now is the time." She shrugged and gave him a kiss on the cheek before unceremoniously announcing she was going to hide in her bedchamber and was not to be disturbed. 

Kerry would never feel like home to Jesper. It was too cold and dreary and steeped in traumatic history. But he found it peaceful too. He wanted to return, hopefully with Colm. 

Jesper and Sefu spent the rest of the day helping the crew unload the gifts for the Kaelish parliament. Atiena came back out to the docks around sunset, Finn looking pleased to take her arm in his.  _ No doubt getting more benefits for the Zemenis, _ Jesper thought with amusement. 

Jesper took a break, panting from all the lifting. Sipping water, he watched as Sefu kept working. For someone with the heart of a scholar, Sefu was built with strength. He had stripped down to his undershirt, damp from exertion and clinging to his chest. His long locs were tied back and Jesper inhaled as he lifted a large bag, muscles in his arm straining. 

Clearing his throat, Jesper decided to walk down a relatively empty pier, staring out at the heavy fog that seemed to permeate the harbor. He sat down and felt a pang of guilt as he remembered when he went to the harbor in Ol'Umoyana with Wylan.

Jesper missed Wylan terribly. But the blockade was total. He could write a letter here in Kerry but by the time it reached Ketterdam, they would be on to the next destination. His life, the new power he possessed, and the role he played in the Youth Council kept him busy. That's what he told himself. 

So he pulled a piece of paper out of his satchel and began to write.

_ Dear Wy, _

_ Everything sure is a mess, isn't it? _

_ I think about you all the time. All everyone can talk about is the blockade and if war is starting. If you have any ties to the Merchant Council, encourage them to stop. Zemenis have been holding back their strength, and they won't for much longer.  _

_ I'm doing okay. There's things I wish I could tell you but I can't. It's not safe. _

Jesper didn't add the obvious. That he couldn't trust the information not to get into the wrong Kerch hands. He couldn't risk the Council of Tides knowing their going-ons.

_ But things are different now. I'm in Kerry. I met my grandparents again - Sean and Molly. They're so nice. I had no idea how nice they were. And they told me all about my Da. Wy, he's incredible. He's a hero, and selfless. He tried to help people like me, the Toshúgad, even when it was illegal to help them. _

_ Other than talk of war things are good. I spend most of my time with Atiena and Sefu. I translate for them. Can you believe I'm a government translator? I like it. I can finally talk nonstop and Kaz can't tell me to shut up. _

_ I asked Atiena if they could swing another visa for you and as Marya (please give her my love) but it's no use right now.  _

_ Do you remember that day in the university courtyards? That is one of my favorite memories. The sun, the way you looked over the bomb fragments.  _

_ I miss you. I love you. _

The words felt hollow. Jesper had heard distance makes the heart grow fonder, but without Wylan around, without letters or the promise of seeing him again, what was there to cling to?

_ We'll see each other again. This can't last forever.  _

_ Yours, _

_ Jes _

He folded it up. His grandparents could mail it for him.

He stared at the blurry horizon until he heard the sound of feet. Jesper twisted and saw Atiena walking towards him, wrapped in a small mountain of wool layers.

"Why so pensive Hilli?" She asked, then sat next to him. "You should be celebrating."

"Just thinking," he said. Then he turned to her. "How are you so self assured?"

Atiena playfully bumped into him. "I met Tsar Nikolai once and thought he had much unearned confidence. And if he could be like that, so can I."

Jesper had never thought of it that way. Matthias had had a lot of confidence and conviction in his belief. Kaz had the confidence people could do what he said - as did Nina. Why shouldn't Jesper? 

She dangled her legs over the side, smiling to herself. "How's your head?"

"A bit calmer right now," he said. "Learning about my father has given me something to focus on. He's not as boring as I thought."

"Oh?"

He detailed some of what his grandparents had shared. Not too many specifics, since those were his Da's secrets to keep, but Jesper still saw the admiration in his eyes. 

"Baba Jes is spectacular. Just like you." 

They chatted about Kerry and the Wandering Isle, purposefully avoiding talk of war and treaties. Jesper appreciated that - Atiena cared about him beyond his work, and they were friends. Maybe that was just the way she spoke. She made everyone feel special. But Jesper had to believe that it was genuine, that Zemenis wouldn't use him like the Kerch had.

They wandered back to the inn, where Sean handed them mugs of hot chocolate.

"When are you headed out lad?"

"Two days time - we are waiting for our new friend to join us."

He nodded. "I'm going to miss you dearly. Will you pass some letters to your father from us?"

Jesper nodded. 

He was mournful when the day came - his grandpa's eyes were shining bright, and his grandma was crying freely. The rest of the Zemenis were outside, giving them privacy. Jesper felt a sadness settle deep in his chest. They were old. There was no promise they would be here much longer. He wanted to hear more stories about his Da, and the visits with his mum.

"You make sure to write us, sweetheart," Molly chastised. "I'm not letting you go so easy this time."

Jesper had years worth of letters to his Da in his trunk they had passed along. "I will," he promised. In his hand, he had a pouch. "For hosting us," he said.

They opened it and inside were a hundred gold coins that Jesper had transmuted. Molly gasped. 

Sean shook his head. "We can't accept this," he said.

"I insist. A thank you from the Zemeni government," he lied. "I love you. I'll come back."

They hugged for a long time, until they finally had to part. Brigid was waiting for the entourage at the dock, dressed in austere deep green clothes, her hood pinned. Jesper thought she looked like some beautiful pale statue. Her wide mouth turned up in a small smile.

"Young Fahey," she murmured. "What is our path?"

"We need to head back to Ol'Umoyana to discuss the treaty with the Council of Elders. There's also the winter festival beginning soon. Then we can reconvene. There's another group going to I'a Nui," he said. He'd heard Atiena talking about it.

She nodded and held an arm out so that Jesper could help her across the plank. Sefu was already on the boat, his normally flawless skin with a gray pallor. 

The sea was choppy when they set off, Sefu retching whatever he dared to eat back into the ocean. Jesper stood next to him, rubbing circles on his back and tying his locs behind him. "Are you okay?" He asked.

Sefu glared. "I will be if I never have to get on a boat again."

Jesper hummed Kaelish tunes while he kept Sefu company. He wasn't a sailor and would just get in the way of their crew. Sefu finally went back to the cabin when there was nothing left to vomit, but Jesper stayed, the cold wind biting his face. Uncertainty loomed before all of them. The war, Wylan, and his place in the middle of it all.

"That's a beautiful song," a woman spoke. He saw Brigid, with her haunting dark eye. "Did your father teach it to you?"

Jesper nodded. "Singing was how I learned Kaelish."

"Songs are powerful," she replied. "Old magic. The Ravkans don't believe in magic but what do they know. They think to strip it down to a science." She snorted.

"I've never considered that," Jesper confessed. "Magic? Really?" 

"Do you think everything is so easily explained, Young Fahey?"

It was strange hearing someone call him Fahey again. The Zemenis called him Hilli most of the time. "I have no idea. I don't understand much, but I'm trying."

"You understand plenty," she scoffed. He smiled in response. "There will always be wild and unexplained magic. Some are simply more attuned to it. Magic existed in the earth before we came, and it will be here when we have all died." She looked at him with a sharp gaze. "What is your favorite Kaelish song?"

"The one about sildröher," Jesper said. 

Brigid clucked her tongue. "Merrow in these parts. Sildröher is the Fjerdans." There was steel in her voice. "Colonizers cannot erase our words."

"Have you ever been to Ol'Umoyana?" He asked. 

"No," she replied. "I have lived my life on the island or in the sea."

Jesper didn't pretend to understand her. "I've lived outside the city and in Ketterdam. My ma was Zemeni and my Da is Kaelish. What about you?"

"My mother was Kaelish," she said. "I favor her, but my father is unmistakable on my face."

They stood in companionable silence. Jesper tried to feel what she did - magic in the sea and the dark gray clouds above them. The air was vicious, more than any summoner could master. What could he be missing?

The base of Jesper's skull tingled and he smiled, thinking he was finally feeling the sea. But the tingling turned into something more concrete, the zowa power reeling up at him.

Jesper whipped around. "SHIPS!" He yelled.

Brigid's eyes widened, as the sea parted to reveal the metal contraptions. They looked unnatural, grisha steel in the middle of the gray-blue expanse of the sea. There were no identifying markers he could see. Crew members shouted, bringing cartridges for the ship's guns. 

Jesper swore and reached out with everything he had. He could feel the shape of it. He crumbled the chambers of the nearest ship, putting it out of commission. 

The rest of the Youth Council was out a moment later. Fatima turned water into steam to help shield them from the submarines, and Jesper ran towards the seated artillery. The 'moylilos used wind to turn the ship into attack position, trying to keep it steady.

Gatling guns, rapid-fire, deadly, and armor piercing were outfitted on the sides. He could feel the power of it, and it felt good to have the metal in his hands. Something tangible, not like his zowa powers that were still new to him. His focus calmed and zeroed in, the power in him and the talisman on his wrist begging him to direct the bullets.

He was pulled out of his concentration by a shout nearby. Sefu was on the gun about 20 feet away. "I'm blind Jes!" He shouted. "Guide me!"

Jesper could feel everyone waiting for his answers. Fatima was straining to keep up the massive wall of thick fog, her chest heaving. Jesper closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. "3 o'clock! 30 degrees down!" 

Sefu swiveled the powerful gun and shot without hesitation. There was the sound of metal piercing metal. Sefu let out an uncharacteristic whoop.

"11 o'clock, 45 degrees down!" More gunfire, and Jesper shot at another one. Fatima kept the thick cloud of fog, her face flushed from the use of power. Atiena was rallying the others. Jesper continued to yell his orders, sending the metal beasts in the water. 

The thrill of the fight was electricity in his veins. He always instinctively knew what to do. There was never any question or doubt. Not with aim like his.

Jesper was about to shout another direction when a horrific crash sounded as the submarine made impact with the ship. Wood creaked and the crew shouted. Sefu was thrown back onto the deck and loudly swore. "We're taking on water!" One of them yelled. "Jesper we need you to fix it!"

He cursed and moved to where people called him. Brigid was still clinging to the deck railing, staring at the water. 

"Brigid!" He shouted. "Come! It's dangerous out there!"

She held up her hand, and inhaled. 

A burst of beautiful sound erupted from her. Music? It was enough to make Jesper stop in his tracks and stare, wide-eyed. 

Lightening cracked above them, striking down to the vessels below and blinding him. There was too much happening. The ship creaking and groaning, Brigid's song, and the thundering above. Her knuckles were white. 

It started as a low hum that quickly rose, soaring above all other sounds. He was frozen in place, and he couldn't make sense of the words, whether they were Kaelish or something else entirely. He suddenly realized tears were rolling down his face when he tasted salt on his lips.

The ocean stilled around them, Fatima letting go of her fog to stare with the rest of them. When Brigid finally ended her song, everything went silent. Just the uneven swaying of the boat beneath them, and Brigid's ragged breathing.

The submarines were torn open and charred by the lightning, floating uselessly in the water. Jesper reached out and twisted what remaining guns he could feel, making them useless pieces of metal. 

Jesper's pulse raced as he approached her. 

"Merrow," he whispered. "The stuff of legends. How are you real?" Even Jesper, from Novyi Zem, knew the Fjerdan folk tale of water singing fire.

The ship still rocked precariously. She didn't meet his eyes. "Go, young Fahey. Fix the ship. We will talk later." 


	7. A Delightful Afternoon

Leoni sat cross legged, lips twisted in concentration. The constant heat had made Adrik's stump swell, and she adjusted the mechanical arm in careful increments. The mission was easier than expected and they had been given the day off to explore.

They sat on the beach, her toes squished into the sand. She adjusted the sleeve on his stump to better wick away moisture, and refit the arm. "How is it?" She asked. 

Using the pressure system in combination with physical motion of his opposite shoulder, torso, and his stump, Adrik was able to control it. "Much better. Thank you  _ solynshko _ ," he said, kissing her cheek. "I love being engaged to a genius." 

She let a wide smile stretch across her face. "Want to go on a hike?"

They packed food and fresh water, checking in on Ambassador Kaboyonga. He dismissed them again, and they set on one of the many paths.

It was steep, but Leoni and Adrik had been in the military, they were used to strenuous exercise. Every so often Adrik would send gusts of cool air around them. She enjoyed the physicality of it - the way she felt the strain in her thighs and biceps as she pulled herself up.

She could also see the way Adrik's jaw worked. It was sharp and defined and she remembered exactly how attracted she was to him. He wasn't as lean as he was in Fjerda. Good Zemeni food and training with zowa turned him from skinny and pale to toned and hearty. 

The vegetation around them was lush and overgrown. The air was filled with the sound of their breathing, insects, and birds. Leoni saw flashes of gold feathers in the treetops along with vibrant blues, purples, and deep brown. The soil was a rich red she had never seen before, different from the rusty roads in Teƙofa. 

They finally reached their goal after a couple hours of companionable silence, the closest peak to the village they stayed in. The trees gave way to a grassy area and a peak. There was a ramshackle railing by the peak - more of a reminder than serious protection. Leoni's legs were sore but she walked the final twenty steps. 

If the view from the ship had been stunning, the view from the mountain top was so breathtaking it was humbling. Shallow pale blue waters turning into turquoise, teal, and then impossibly dark blue as it spread into the horizon. She could see the lumbering shadows of the Protectors circling the island - the whale shark, the manta ray, and the turtle. 

In the distance Leoni could see an active volcano on the other side of the island - bright magma cutting a wavy line all the way to the shore where steam rose. In thousands of years it would become a new island for I'a Nui. Catamarans moved between the islands, the people on them indistinguishable at this distance. The height was dizzying but Adrik put a hand around the small of her back. 

"Saints," he whispered. "I'm so far from Ravka."

She planted a kiss on his cheek. "Do you miss it?"

"Only vaguely. Sometimes. I miss the pastries and the snow. I miss the  _ banyas _ . And I miss Nadia so much. But," he shrugged. "Just look at this. So few outsiders have ever been able to see this."

Leoni looked in every direction. "It's too hot for banyas but there's a waterfall down there." She pointed to where she could see the top of one of many falls, careening over an edge. "Maybe there's a pool."

They ate some of the snacks and drank water, Leoni laying back on her elbows and gazing up at the sky. If it wasn't sunny, there were warm rain showers that passed quickly and gave way to rainbows. Adrik told her about Alina Starkov, and his time with the famed Sun Summoner. How she could make rainbows with a flick of her wrist. Or cut mountaintops. Despite the smile on his lips, she could see the shadow pass over his face.

Leoni had made Adrik go to a mind doctor when he moved to Ol'Umoyana. When she heard his whimpers at night. A long stream of names from his lips, his voice small and hollow. Then one bad night, a scream. His face was ashen when she shook him, and he had subconsciously massaged his stump, still covered in raised black scars.

She put her head on his shoulder. "Sun summoners are easily found in Nyota Heri," Leoni said. "Especially in the North. Slightly rarer than say,  _ 'moylilos _ but not so much that there aren't teachers."

Adrik nodded. "If I ever saw the Dickling again I would remove my arm and hit him in the face with it."

Leoni giggled at the image. "We call him  _ ulwandle _ ." Abomination. "But he never dared touch Nyota Heri directly. He played politics to colonize the Stolen Lands." She sighed. The colonization that directly lead to her birth parents dying. Anxiety gnawed at her stomach. "Let's find that pool."

The hike down was hard on her knees, but they made good time and followed the sound of rushing water. A smile stretched on her face when she saw the water. Discomfort from earlier eased away as she took off her shoes and dipped her toe in the water. "Oh,  _ umyeni _ , its perfect." 

Adrik squatted down and put his hand in. "You're right. We should have brought a change of clothes."

Leoni looked around. Then a mischievous grin curled the side of her lips. She took off the loose linen pants she was wearing and deposited them on the side. Adrik arched an eyebrow. 

She took off the rest of her clothes without shame and jumped into the water. The water on her skin reminding her of the time they had spent in the  _ banya _ together. When she thought Tsar Nikolai was going to order her death. When Adrik confessed his love for her for the very first time. 

He must have seen something in her eyes because he soon followed, Leoni cheering when he took off his arm and stump sleeve, swimming out towards her. Adrenaline coursed through her. 

They made their way out to some rocks where the waterfall came down, one of them big enough for them both to sit. Sun-warmed, she lay face down and then laughed when Adrik poked her rear. "I definitely had the best view when you were hiking in front of me."

She playfully swatted at him. But he caught her hand and kissed it, and before Leoni knew their mouths were on each other, his tongue tracing her bottom lip. It was their first chance at privacy since the mission began and Leoni couldn't help it. She loved his hand tracing her skin, and how his pupils grew wide and his green eyes grew darker when he looked at her. No one had looked at her like that before Adrik.

The pressure in the air around them became charged and Leoni laughed, it dying away with his lips on her neck. Adrik murmured into her ear. "Can't help it."

"But you're making my hair frizzy," she said. Her complaints died away as they became lost in each other.

After, they lay in a fog of pleasure. Leoni slid down so she was half in the water on the rock, Adrik floating in the pool with his eyes closed. Leoni almost felt guilty for not working hard enough. 

"Do you two know this is a holy pool?" Came a voice from the side. Adrik let out a choked squeal, lowering his bottom half into the water. Leoni's arms flew up to her chest and she drew her knees up.

She saw a Nui'ian woman with a wry look on her face. She was tall and broad like most Nui'ians, with long gorgeous wavy hair, a grass and taro cloth skirt, and a top tied around her chest. But she didn't look angry, just amused. "But most of our bodies of water are sacred. Did you two have a good time?"

"I am so sorry," Leoni squeaked. 

The woman waved her away. "It is nothing I haven't seen. I am Keao. You are Inyoni and Yarik? With the ambassador?"

Adrik groaned. "This is what I get for having fun."

Keao laughed. “Young and in love. You should head back though, the Chief is preparing to announce his decision.” 

Leoni perked up. That was important stuff. And she still didn’t have any clothes on. “Do you mind…” she gave a little wiggle, heat flushing her cheeks. At least she wasn’t Adrik’s color, because his already sun-pinkened skin turned a bright red. 

Keao laughed again and turned around. Leoni dove into the water and barely bothered drying off before putting her clothes on. Adrik did the same. “It’s okay,” she whispered to him. “We’ve caused international trouble before, this is hardly anything.”

“I feel like we’re setting a dangerous precedent,” he whispered back. “I actually like these people, and I don’t want to get banned from a third country.”

“Three?” She asked. “Oh wait. Fjerda. I forgot about them.” 

“It’s easy,” Adrik said. “So much herring. The tuna and marlin here are much better.” 

Leoni agreed. So the two of them walked up to Keao. Up close, Leoni could see that she was older than them, but not much. Maybe early 30s. She was quite lovely, with wide eyes and a round face. She had Nui’ian tattoos on her left shoulder. She was only slightly shorter than Leoni. “Are you enjoying our island.”

“Definitely,” Leoni perked up. Adrik was a modest shade of tomato but still wasn’t ready to speak. “It’s so peaceful. I can’t thank the ancestors enough I had the chance to come here.”

Keao smiled, one that matched Leoni’s own smile. “That’s wonderful to hear. I am one of the wayfarers of this island. Every two years we go out into the ocean and see if there are other islands to map, new fishing grounds to see. We make sure no one is encroaching on us.”

“Wayfarers,” Adrik finally spoke up. “Navigators, right?”

“Traditional navigators, yes,” she said. “We use the ocean currents, the stars, and the sun to navigate. We tell tales passed down from generations.”

Leoni fell into easy conversation with Keao, the awkwardness melting away. Adrik's complexion returned to its light sunkissed tawny, and he popped in every so often. Leoni learned more about Nui'ian culture. They didn't have jails or prisons but sent people out to swim among the guardians as punishment and for reflection, then brought them back. Unless the crime was heinous enough to be covered in chum and thrown to the sharks. She learned more about the deities. The magic held in their land. 

Adrik and Leoni quickly changed when they got back to their homestay, and then met with the Ambassador. 

It was very casual. Leoni saw the Chief's grandkids by his knees, playing with toys and babbling among each other. 

"We are a peaceful people," the Chief began calmly, playing absentmindedly with his grandson's hair. Leoni and Adrik sat a short distance behind and on either side of Ambassador Kaboyonga, criss cross on soft tarot mats. "We act as needed, something Zemenis can understand. But we cannot allow our allies to go unaided. We will send a representative to the summit of nations."

Leoni's mouth parted in an o. I'a Nui hadn't attended a summit since the Kerch attack on their islands over a century ago. "I will be sending one of our most powerful and treasured wayfarers, Keao Walikeheke."

The woman touched her hand over her heart, bowing her head. "Anything in service to I'a Nui and our people."

The Chief nodded to her and then turned back to the Ambassador. "Zemenis have proven themselves to be honorable, generous, and compassionate. Keao is what you would call a zowa. But we do not differentiate as you do." 

Leoni brimmed with excitement. After the clinical studies with Ravka, and the innovation-driven Zemenis, she could only imagine what Nui'ian zowas were like. "Of course you are welcome to stay for a couple days as we make a contract, and Keao prepares."

They spent the next days in ceremony, exchanging gifts and having their final feasts. The morning they set off, Leoni watched Keao say goodbye to her wife and children. She surveyed the ship, which was significantly different from catamarans. "Seems excessive," she commented. But she had a smile. "So lovebirds, show me to the quarters."


	8. Amends

The trip back to  Te ƙofa was uneventful. The Ambassador sat down with Leoni, Adrik, and Keao on a quiet evening. “The summit is going forward,” he started. “It will be taking place in Ketterdam in two month’s time. However it is being hosted by the Zemeni embassy, so the guests are on our behalf. You two are being asked to attend as guests.”

“Will Ravka be there?” Adrik asked. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he frowned. 

“Yes,” the Ambassador replied. “We have invited the Tsar, his General, and several spots of his choosing. He has already agreed to attend.”

Leoni’s eyebrows shot to her hairline. “Ambassador Kaboyonga, with all due respect, they want to kill us.” She could never forget the cruelty of Nikolai’s face and Zoya’s rage at her trial. A trial she would have lost, if Adrik hadn’t been willing to throw down his life and legacy for her. They had jailed her and shackled her. Leoni bristled at the thought of it, feeling uncharacteristic anger.

"Which is all the more reason for you two to arrive as untouchable, esteemed guests. The Council is very intrigued by you two. In addition, the Summit is taking place on neutral territory. We are not restricting our guests by government. We will be inviting the indigenous people of each land as well."

A smile crept on Adrik's lip. "Nikolai will hate that."

The colonization and persecution of Suli in Ravka was something the royal family had yet to address. Even Nikolai, so enamored by his Suli general, hadn't actually done a thing to stop the missing and enslaved women. The people that hunted caravans. 

"The Hedjut too?" Leoni asked. The Ambassador nodded. If there was anything Zemenis were good at, it was throwing the sins of the East back in their faces. "I think this will be fun."

Keao flashed a big smile. "I've heard that Kerch is an ugly nation."

The Ambassador gave a diplomatic shrug. "When you all arrive in Ol'Umoyana you will need to be measured for clothing. Adrik, you will wear a kefta with Zemeni pattern cloth. Leoni you are free to wear whatever you want."

Keao spoke up. "The Chief already gave me my formal outfit."

"My daughter will be coming from the Wandering Isle with an update as well. We will let you know as needed. As of now the embargo still stands and is affecting the East."

Leoni imagined without the assistance of Zemeni resources, countries would have to either make new treaties amongst themselves or scrap. No land was as fertile as Nyota Heri. Whether it was ore, timber, gold, innovation, or jurda. Zemenis, for their part, mostly missed the tourism in port cities and the gossip foreigners brought.

There was no break this time - they landed in the city and were whisked onto a train. Keao went with the Ambassador to Dinigaya, and Leoni and Adrik were put on the afternoon train back to Ol'Umoyana. She slept on and off, her head on Adrik's shoulder. 

It was the early morning hours when they finally arrived back. Shopkeepers were beginning their day - sweeping the stoops and hanging wares. The loved the brisk, dry air. Much different than the relentless humidity of I'a Nui. They climbed into the shower in their apartment, taking turns helping wash each other's backs sleepily before passing out in bed.

She dreamt about the Ravkan prison. She dreamt all her former classmates were walking by, screaming vile things at her for being a traitor. The guttural Ravkan consonants slapping her. She dreamed Adrik was out of reach, held back by a stone faced Nikolai. The weight of four years of isolation was heavy on her shoulders. The time she spent with her true self also behind bars.

"You can't keep doing this," she whimpered at him. Leoni hated how weak her voice sounded, and her old grisha companions became distorted in front of her. Her insides burned from the tip of her tongue to deep in her belly - just like the poison that had wrecked her body. She was burning from the inside out, but she couldn’t make herself throw it up like she had before. 

Zoya turned to her, a haughty look on her face. "This is Ravka. There's always more we can do." She slid her blue eyes to Adrik, the pupils shifting until they were snake-like. "There's always more to take. You are not worth the life given to you."

She woke up with a start. There were no reptilian Zoya eyes, just Adrik's light green ones hovering over her. " _ Solynshko, _ " he murmured. She liked his Ravkan. The edges were blunted by the Northern border, and the love Adrik had for her dripped from every syllable. "You were having a bad dream."

There were tears in the corner of her eyes. "I'm fine."

"You said the same thing when you poisoned yourself the first time in Gäfvalle," he said with a raised eyebrow. He had a somber expression on his face, jaw tense. "We are honest with each other."

She sighed. So serious. Adrik wasn't one to ever joke about her wellbeing. Not since the nightmarish carriage ride. “I had a nightmare.”

His frown deepened. It made his cheekbones and the point of his chin more severe. “About?”

Leoni rolled her lips in. “Nikolai. Zoya.” 

Adrik propped his head up with his good arm, laying beside her. “You shouldn’t let them bother you,  _ solnyshko _ . What is a tsar and a general to a Saint?” He leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Sankta Leoni of the Waters. People pray to you, and curse their names. I certainly do.”

“Pray to me, or curse their names?”

“Both,” he teased. A small smile finally tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I’ll worship you at whatever altar you choose.” 

Leoni felt warmth spread through her, chasing away the nightmare. She pushed herself out of bed. “Well Sankt Adrik the Uneven. I need to do some errands today. Are you okay on your own?” He nodded his affirmation and she got ready for the day. She dressed in a simple trapeze dress in a peach and blue kitenge pattern, tying her long twists into a bun on her head. 

Out in the street, she grabbed a Piroshki from the Ravkan bakery, and then went about her day. She paid the rent on their apartment, and then wandered out to the harbor. She wanted to take some time to herself, breathing the air and watching the ships come in and unload their wares. As a student in Western Nyota Heri, she and her friends had sat along benches in  Te ƙofa, eyeing the different foreigners who would lift things and flirt with them, the pretty boys and girls from all over the world, and ask them for treats or kisses. 

Leoni tucked her legs under herself, pulling out her notebook. She used her zowa skill and a portable palette to imitate the scene before her as best as she could. Her brow furrowed in concentration as she used the tiniest of movements to imitate the sweep of a ship sail, or the mass of people working on the dock. 

Settling into her zowa power refreshed and calmed her - focusing on the smallest details to create a large picture. She lost herself in the meditative state, until it filled up the two pages of her notebook. It was full of images. Landscapes, color swatches, portraits of Adrik while he slept. Some were of Aditi, the woman she could never live up to.

Guilt burrowed in her chest. She still hadn't seen the Faheys.

She turned to a blank page and scrawled a note to Adrik, flagging down one of the boys lounging in the market.

"Can you deliver this for me?" She asked, giving him coins and her address. Then she made her way to the regional station.

The Fahey family farm was listed as a meeting place for the zowa network and she held on to the address for months. Her memory of them was fuzzy, except for Aditi. She remembered a young boy hiding in the back with arresting silver eyes. She remembered his red haired father yelling at the zowa teacher. Threatening to shoot the man. Leoni had cried all the way to the school. 

Leoni wished she had put a smudge of makeup on, or at least some jurda balm under her eyes to brighten them. That night she would grab dinner with her parents, brother, and Adrik. She was still trying to fit their lives together - the four years apart had changed her completely. But she wanted to try. 

She got off the commuter tram a mile down the road from where the farm was. The land was beautiful. Jurda season was over but it would begin soon enough. There was a lone pompom tree on the horizon, beautifully pink against the blue sky. 

At the fence to the main property, Leoni halted. Panic began to spread in her. "This was a bad idea," she murmured to herself. She turned on her heel. Another time. Or a letter.

"Miss?" Called out a voice. She froze. "Can I help you?" 

She turned back, her eyes wide. He looked older than she remembered. The red was streaked with gray and more fine wrinkles lined his face. But he was still a handsome Kaelish man with a rich beard and strong build of a farmer. His gray eyes studied her. 

"No," she shook her head.  _ Stupid. You shouldn't have come here. _ "I was just admiring the house."

He walked towards her and she became jittery. The words were clear in her ears, as if it happened yesterday.  _ "You come back on this land I'll take that as an invitation to put a bullet in between your eyes. You go and you take that girl with you." _

That girl. She was  _ that _ girl, who had caused him so much anguish. That took his wife. Maybe he wanted to put a bullet between her eyes as well. And now he was in front of her, an inch or two shorter. He had a kind face but when he reached a hand out she flinched. He looked stricken. "Are you okay?"

"I shouldn't be here. This was a mistake," she choked out, and then ran all the way back to the train station.

Her eyes were red from crying by the time she got back to her apartment. Adrik was gone, probably to do some errands as well. She replayed everything she knew about Colm again. Would he hate her? Yell? Would he care that she had gone on to help others like his wife all over the world? 

Leoni paced around the small space until finally sitting outside on the balcony. Obviously he hadn't recognized her. But why would he ever want to see her either? All she did was remind him that his wife wasn't alive.

She busied herself thinking about inventions instead. The Fjerdan poison. The girls were making a recovery but their powers had strange properties. Not the same as parem. The babies were being closely monitored and taken care of, but there was no telling what atrocities the Fjerdans had committed on them.

Leoni prided herself on her creativity in finding solutions - being deep undercover meant adjusting on the fly. But this serum had her stumped. Many of the women claimed they had no zowa powers before they were captured. So the effects were man-made, by a country that reviled them. But why?

The door swung open and Adrik came in. He had switched out his mechanical arm for a simple one with a dual hook to hold bags of food. Simple and sturdy. He smiled at her but then immediately frowned.

"You've been crying."

She groaned. He knew her too well. "I don't want to talk about it."

He raised a pale brow, but moved into the kitchen to put away food in the pantry. She sniffed loudly against her will, hastily rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. 

Adrik then sat on the small balcony with her. There was barely any room, just enough for 2 chairs and a tiny side table. He linked his pinky through hers and she appreciated the small gesture. But concern was etched all over his face. “Are we still going to your parent’s house for dinner?” he asked gently. 

Leoni nodded. “Of course.” Then she swallowed hard. “I went to the Fahey farm.”

“What’s a Fahey?”

“You remember that story I told you in Fjerda? About the woman who died?” she nervously twisted her hair around her finger. “That was true. Aditi. She had a son and a husband. I went to go see them today, but I couldn’t do it. I saw him - Colm. His name is Colm Fahey, he’s Kaelish. I just remember how angry he was. How he said he wanted to shoot Lwazi in between the eyes if he came back, and to take me with him and never come back. I don’t know why I showed up. I guess I thought maybe I could show him, it wasn’t for nothing.”

“That must have been difficult,” he murmured. “Did he recognize you?”

“I don’t think so. I was very young. Maybe 10? He didn’t want his son - Jesper - to come with us. I know he’s a zowa too. He’s in Kerry right now according to Liyani. Colm looked worried for me. I didn’t want to watch his expression change.”

Adrik was quiet. “I do remember that name. The Fjerdans mentioned it. Olson, he wanted to do business with him. But was having a hard time, said that he had -” Adrik winced. “Gone native.”

Leoni let out a groan. “That man was a piece of shit.” She had no regrets about killing him and his wife. It had to be done, after what they had done to those women. There was evil in the world, and the casual cruelty he displayed towards Zemenis, Suli, Hedjut, and Shu women suffocated his every movement. And she made sure he would never chain women up in warehouses again.

“That he was.” Adrik looked at her. “I bet Aditi would be proud. You’ve dedicated your life to helping other people. The war might be killing more Zemenis, more women, if it weren’t for you. That counts for something. And he was a man grieving his wife. I know if I lost you, I would be pretty grumpy.”

It was her time to arch an eyebrow. “Pretty grumpy? Pretty grumpy is your default. You would turn into a black hole of despair.”

“You can call me the New Fold,” he joked.


	9. A Reunion Thirty Years in the Making

Jesper sat across the table from Brigid, staring at her. She stared right back, her expression placid. The ship was repaired and they were going back to Ol’Umoyana as quickly as possible, after the  _ inlilos _ salvaged whatever they could from the wreckage. The lamp light was low as he studied her. Severe features, everything about her intense. Pale brown skin, with dark brown freckles tossed recklessly on her features, her wiry red hair kept short. Her mouth was wide, and she appeared nearly ageless. 

“Merrow,” he repeated. He was stunned. “That’s just a storybook character for Kaelish children.”

“Storybooks are notoriously uncreative and draw from real life,” she said, adjusting the shawl around her shoulders. “And like you. I am  _ half _ merrow. Some choose to live in the sea, I have stayed on land.” She sniffed, her back ramrod straight. 

“What does that even mean?” he asked.

Brigid sighed as if she couldn’t be bothered to discuss how she summoned an entire storm from the sky, although she was supposed to be a healer. “Merrows, selkies, sirens, sildroher, all control magic through their voice. Singing. That’s why the tradition of singing is so strong among the Kaelish. It was passed along, back when merrow more frequently shed their skin and moved on land. I do not need to shed my skin. I do not speak of this often. As you can imagine, the Kaelish are superstitious. But we were in danger.”

“That’s why it’s so soothing when you hum, isn’t it?” Jesper asked. 

She tilted her head ever so slightly at him. “You seemed nervous.”

“I’m always energetic,” he confessed. “My mind races a lot.” His fingers itched for the coin, but it had been abandoned somewhere in the chaos. 

She gave him a sympathetic look. “You should go out onto the deck. The air is a good distraction.”

For some reason, Jesper listened to her. It was almost painful, the way the air hit his skin. He had never been on such a fast moving boat before. The zowa purposefully moved their hands, pushing the newly-melded boat to its limits. Fatima helped coordinate them, shouting out orders. Sefu approached, looking less ashen than he had earlier. Adrenaline seemed to fix his seasickness. 

He held out a coin. “You dropped this,” he said. Jesper grabbed it from him, acutely aware of when their skin touched.  _ You’re acting like some rosy-cheeked Fjerdan virgin, _ Jesper chided himself. It was already worn in places because of his constant rubbing. “I thought you might want it back,” Sefu continued. 

Jesper smiled. He felt relieved, and immediately transformed the golden color to silver. But it wasn’t just the color, it was the entire substance changed. He still didn’t understand how it worked. Gold was weaker, more malleable than the hard silver. Sefu watched with open admiration. “You’re incredible,” he said. 

“So are you,” Jesper responded immediately. He meant it. “You were great on the gun. I know you don’t like them.” When had he learned that? He didn’t remember really talking about it. Just the way Sefu preferred his fighting sticks, and hand to hand combat whenever possible. He never looked  _ comfortable _ with the gun, not like Atiena and Jesper. 

Sefu shrugged. “I didn’t want anything to happen to -” he cut himself off. “To the boat.” He reached up to tie his hair back and it was hard to miss the flex of his shoulders. “I’ll see you later.”

They made it back to Ol’Umoyana in record time, late in the night. Jesper was exhausted, and the zowa were all flushed from exertion, their color warm, even as they collapsed onto the deck. There were  _ umphulukisi _ ready to go on the docks, and ran up the gangplank and began to take care of them. 

Atiena rounded up the youth council as Brigid had her papers checked, giving orders to go to her apartment first thing in the morning. She looked at Jesper “I know you don’t have an apartment in the city. Why don’t you stay with us? We can send word to Baba Jes.”

Jesper nodded. It made sense, and if he had to be up early there was no sense in making the trek out to the farm. His Da would forgive him. 

“You can sleep in my bed,” Sefu said. “Atiena and I have shared before. Any opportunity to bother my sister.”

Atiena shot Sefu a glare, and for a moment, she looked her age. It was easy to forget she was only 20-something. Jesper envied how easily she bore the weight of responsibility. She also reminded Jesper of one of his exes back in Ketterdam - a Shu girl with sharp tongue who eventually left the University. He had admired her too. 

But slapping her brother’s arm, glaring and sticking her tongue out, she definitely wasn't much older. Sefu just laughed, and they escorted Brigid to her hotel. She looked around in wonder, sweat beading at her forehead. Jesper remembered when he first moved back, and how warm it seemed. Now it was perfect. 

Jesper translated for her at the front desk, even as exhaustion made his bones feel like they scraped against each other, his muscles straining. Brigid gave him a squeeze on his shoulder. "I will see you tomorrow?" She asked. 

He nodded, and then they were on their way to the Kaboyonga apartment. 

It was just as nice as he remembered it. Full of books and diagrams, and a large square table with a world map in the middle. The main countries were highlighted - Nyota Heri, the Wandering Isle, Kerch, Shu Han, Ravka, and Fjersa. I'a Nui had a subtler shade but there were many notes on the map. 

He saw Hedjut by northern Fjerda and the unceded Suli lands demarcated. Emelian was scrawled by the vast Shu Han mountain range and plains that bordered Ravka. In Atiena's handwriting in the margins she noted many of the other countries in the world, with either a check, x, or question mark next to them. Countries he had never heard of.

"We'll get to that later," Atiena said. "I'm going to go to bed, I left a towel and wash rag for you. Sefu is hogging the hot water now." Sure enough Jesper could hear the water running in the wash closet. "You can stay up if you want," Atiena said with a yawn. "But don't be too loud."

"I won't," Jesper said. He went into Sefu's room and undid his bag, fishing around for something to sleep in that didn't smell like salt. But then he got distracted by how  _ Sefu _ the room was. He had books about the Wandering Isle on his nightstand, and diagrams of the human body on his walls. Where Atiena's handwriting was careless and scrawled, Sefu's was neat and compact. 

He had shelves with small figurines on it - from all over the world. Places Atiena had been. A teapot from the eastern part of Shu Han. A glass tulip from Kerch. In a frame he saw pressed jurda flowers. The date underneath was the day he figured out the cure. When Jesper had spent a night without sleep, praying to the ancestors it would work.

_ He wanted to remember that? _ Jesper thought. His fingers brushed against the glass. Who was this boy who pressed flowers and read books and found his lucky coin. There was a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," Jesper said, stepping away from the picture.

Sefu poked his head in. "Sorry. I forgot my change of clothes."

Jesper's heart raced. He could see Sefu's damp dark skin and the top of his chest. He cleared his throat and turned to the dresser. "Yeah just uh - where is it?"

Sefu directed him and picked out the clothes. "Thank you Jesper," he said. "Feel free to borrow whatever you want."

And just like that he was alone again. With all his thoughts and feelings, and a warm room. He ran his fingers over everything he could. The books and their spines. The souvenirs. He finally fell into bed after finding a pair of too big shorts with a drawstring and a long sleeve hooded shirt. He thought about Wylan as he drifted off, wondering what was happening in Ketterdam. 

In the morning, Atiena was already up. Her two long braids were dangling down, her face scrubbed and eyes alert. Sefu was slower, ambling in casual clothes with a notebook in hand, rummaging for food in the pantry. "I'm going to run to the market quick," Sefu said with a yawn. "The others will be here soon."

"Should I grab Brigid?"

"No need. She will be coming by later with an Elder Council member."

Jesper showered and got dressed and by the time he was ready, Sefu was back with fresh fruit, dried meat, eggs, breads, and juices balanced in a large basket. Jesper grabbed one of the guavas, his stomach growling, and worked on washing it and slicing. 

He ate pieces of the fruit as Lwazi, Fatima, and Nandi walked in. Nandi rubbed her hand over her close-cropped hair, looking troubled. Fatima adjusted her turban-style headscarf. 

" _ Bahandi _ and  _ Nabaluki _ are working hard to figure out who attacked us and from where. In the meantime, we need to plan ahead. There’s a summit coming up soon - we will all be in attendance.” Atiena looked at Jesper. “It is going to be in Ketterdam.”

Jesper’s heart sped up. “Ketterdam?”

She nodded. Jesper’s vision tunneled. He could see Wylan again. Atiena continued, pointing at the map. “The blockade still stands, so Nyota Heri was off the table. The instability in the Northeast meant that Shu Han and Kerch were the only ones on the table. Ketterdam seemed like the best choice. At the very least, Jesper has intimate knowledge of it. We can shore up our defenses well. The summit is where we will engage in talks about our treaties, whether they still stand, and if we will be declaring war.”

Jesper’s view snapped back into focus. War? He was in no way qualified to attend. University dropout, former gang member, farmer, who took a dangerous experimental drug and just happened to have a knack for languages. 

“We will be attending as a show of strength and support for the Council of Elders. And there are things we will be able to navigate that they can not. Our measurements will be taken and special clothes will be tailored. We’ll be having meetings.”

As people began to talk, Atiena pointed out the different indigenous peoples who would be invited. Sefu walked up to Jesper. “There are a couple other younger people who will be attending. Some former operatives from Ravka.” 

“Defectors”

“One is. The other is a spy. I haven’t met them yet.” Sefu shrugged. “Your knowledge of Ketterdam will be useful.” 

Jesper shrugged. He wondered how Wylan and Marya were doing. If Inej was back in the city. He avoided thinking about the Dregs too much. Outside of seeing Wylan, he couldn’t think of a reason he was excited to go back. In fact, he was filled more with dread than anything else. What would this summit even entail? What was he expected to do? 

Atiena jolted him out of his thoughts. “Your father is downstairs in the lobby,” she said. 

Jesper walked downstairs to the building lobby. Colm was sitting on a couch and his gray eyes lit up when he saw Jesper. He saw some deeper lines in his face - were those his fault? Jesper ignored the gnawing restlessness and plastered a big smile on his face. "Da!"

Colm got up and pulled Jesper into a tight hug. "So glad to see you." He stepped back, inspecting Jesper from head to toe. "I heard you were attacked. Are you hurt at all?"

"No. Promise." He held his hands up in surrender. "I saw Molly and Sean. They were really nice." He paused. "I really liked them."

Colm smiled, his eyes becoming bright. Jesper looked for the man they told him about. Who saved Toshúgad and fought in underground rings and fled to Nyota Heri. Now Jesper understood the scars on his hands. Not from farming equipment like he thought. But from prison. Untwining rope as hard punishment. He reached forward and hugged his father even tighter.

He tended in surprise but Colm took it in stride and hugged him back. "We can talk about it over dinner tonight. I want all the details that aren't government secrets."

It was then that Liyani walked in, chatting with Brigid. She had changed into a simple and lightweight green dress. 

"Da, come meet Brigid," he said. 

"Brigid?" Colm turned and then became pale as a ghost. 

Brigid stopped too, dropping the book in her hand. "Colm Fahey?" She said. Her voice choked up. She ran over to him and pulled him into a hug. She was slightly taller than him, and thin as a reed, and Jesper thought she might break from the force. "I thought he had to be your son but I didn't want to believe it." She cupped Colm's face. "You've aged terribly."

"You've aged beautifully," he responded.

Jesper felt like he had been hit by a brick. Was this some old love? Then he remembered his grandparent's story. The little Toshúgad girl, who screamed and a storm appeared. Brigid. Brigid was his dad's childhood friend. How had he not pieced it together?

They spoke in Kaelish so rapidly, it seemed to spill out of their mouths. Jesper had a hard time keeping up but they both had tears rolling down their faces. Finally Colm cleared his throat. "Please come to dinner at my farm. I would be honored."

"I will make sure I have no obligations," she replied with a loud sniff. "But yes. We have 30 years to catch up on."

"Fate has a funny way of working out," he said. He stared after her. 

Jesper looked between them. "Were you two…?"

"Oh heavens no. I had a crush on her as a young boy. She told me she would rather die than be chained to anyone, man or woman. It never interested her. We were the best of friends. I thought she was dead."

"She lived right outside Kerry."

Colm seemed to think about this and fell into a silence. Jesper wished he could pry open his father’s brain and see what he was thinking. Jesper felt vaguely uneasy but couldn’t pinpoint why. He knew, theoretically, his father had an entire life before he was born. But so much had been his mother, the farm, and Nyota Heri. It was strange to think that at his age, Colm was fighting in underground circuits, and saving zowa. 

"Funny," Colm said. "Just yesterday a girl came to the farm. Looked vaguely familiar but ran off before I could ask."

“You don’t have any other kids I should know about?” Jesper joked. Colm shot him a glare that could have sliced through stone and Jesper instinctively moved out of arm’s reach. “I’m just saying. Seems like you, you know,” Jesper held his hands up. “Have a type.”

He couldn’t dodge the smack across his shoulder. “Sometimes you don’t have to say everything you’re thinking,” Colm said. 

“But don’t I?”

Colm rolled his eyes skyward. “See what you’ve left me with darling?” He muttered. 


	10. Measuring Moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going to be a 2 for 1 weekend - quarantine has me busy! Look out for another chapter tomorrow.

Leoni laughed as Adrik nearly shot into the air. The tailor looked annoyed, and in a clipped voice said “I need to measure your inseam,  _ sir, _ ” before glaring. 

Adrik nodded. “Sorry. Just wasn’t expecting it.”

He wasn’t expecting it because he was also watching Leoni get measured, the tape currently snug around her hips. The tailor measuring her gave an approving nod. “Your husband is lucky,” she said. “That’s impressive.” 

“Not my husband yet, but thank you,” Leoni smiled. 

“I’ve been demoted from husband to coworker to husband to fiance,” Adrik complained in Ravkan, which made Leoni laugh harder. They were in the process of getting their measurements taken for the summit. “Hopefully this is the last time.”

Leoni was enamored by all the fabrics around her. Everything was vibrant and bold, with an array of beautiful patterns. Whether it was kente from the west, kitenge from home, ankara, and many others she couldn’t begin to name. Most were lightweight, perfect for the warm Zemeni weather. But the fabrics that the tailors were holding up to her were medium to heavy - geared towards Ketterdam.

“I don’t exactly get why we are having a whole wardrobe made,” Adrik confessed. They spoke in Ravkan for some modicum of privacy. “Aren’t we just background people?”

“Adrik,” she chided. “Don’t you know we do everything in style.” She couldn’t imagine what they were going to do for Adrik. He had been wearing a mishmash of Eastern and Zemeni style since he arrived - not all the colors were flattering on him, and Leoni discreetly exchanged anything that made him look washed out. “We’re representing Nyota Heri.”

Leoni wasn’t sure why the Ambassador was so insistent they go even though he wasn’t attending. 

“He’s too skinny,” one of the tailors complained. Adrik looked affronted. “Are you feeding him enough?”

“Why do I have to feed him?” Leoni shot back. “He’s not an infant. In fact he acts more like an old man with all the complaining.”

“I want to respond to that,” Adrik started, “But I would just be complaining again.” 

Unfortunately for Leoni, Zemenis had a habit of making comments about bodies. Especially older ones, with all the “childbearing hips” or “big legs”. Adrik seemed to take it all in stride, like he usually did. It was one of the things she loved about him. They were human mannequins for another few minutes before being dismissed, and Leoni let out a long exhale. She let her irritation go, she had other things to worry about. Like the youth council meeting scheduled for the next day.

“So what does a youth council do?” Adrik asked. 

“I’m not entirely sure,” she confessed. “I think they’re kind of like the regular Council, but with less authority to make deals on behalf of Nyota Heri. Kind of a balancing act between the young and elderly.”

Adrik considered this. “Not a terrible idea. Ravka doesn’t have that balance. Just Nikolai and the Triumvirate, all under thirty.”

Leoni had opinions about that, but decided to let it be. “I’m sure it’s not too much to be concerned about. If the Kaboyonga family has a part of it, it’s usually well put together. They’re like. A political powerhouse family.”

“Like the Lantsovs?” Adrik asked.

Leoni stopped her walking and stared at him. “ _ No, _ Adrik. Not like the Lantsovs. Not everything is like something else.” She breathed in and out. “Sorry. I’m having a bad day.” Her anxiety hadn’t gotten any better since the encounter with Colm. Now she heard his son was back in town too. She was avoiding it, but couldn’t for much longer. She was living in the same city - she would need to speak with him. Better under controlled circumstances than randomly at a club.

“I know,  _ solnyshko _ ,” Adrik replied. He put his mechanical arm around her waist, giving her a squeeze. “Want to stop for some mango juice? It always makes you feel better.”

Leoni couldn’t deny that. “Okay. Yes.”

After a quick stop for mango juice she went back to the labs at the University, and Adrik went to provide translation services at the Refugee and Immigration Center of town hall. The smell of chemicals was strangely uplifting, as she put on her newly redone goggles. They weren’t quite as worn in and comfortable as the ones confiscated in Ravka, but it would have to do. She hoped David was at least getting some use out of her gadgets.

Hair pulled into a large bun and equipped with zowa-standard gloves, she put on a coat for protection. Like everything else in Nyota Heri the aesthetic was taken into consideration, and the pale gray material was embroidered with gold and teal. She hated that it reminded her of Ravka and the Tsar’s colors.

But whether she was in a workroom in Ravka, a Zemeni embassy in Fjerda, or at home, everything was familiar to her. Her breathing calmed down, and everything came into sharp focus. Her goal was to undo whatever it was that Fjerda had done. The time in I’a Nui had been good - but now she could help more people. She would always be a scientist and an agent.

She thought about David Kostyk - one of the few people she genuinely enjoyed at the Little Palace. He seemed to like her as much as David could like someone that wasn't Genya, and he supervised many of her projects. She liked his pragmatic nature, and his eye for detail. Leoni thought David was incredibly creative when it came to being a Materialki - it was a shame he invented for an imperialist country. 

"What would David see that I'm missing?" She muttered to herself. They had very few vials left - fewer chances to reverse engineer correctly. 

_ David wouldn't be emotional the way I am, _ she thought. He was emotional in his own way. About Genya, about his projects. But he didn't get flustered like she did. She breathed. Leoni was too focused on the distressed women.  _ What are the facts? _

Leoni went over the events of the day. Her notes on what the Fjerdan girls said. She combed everything again and again until the sun dipped to the horizon and they told her Adrik was waiting for her. 

She scrubbed herself clean before going out to meet him, shoulders slumped. He held out a small bag to her, and she opened it to find chocolate-covered macadamia nuts. “Adrik!” she gasped. Exorbitantly expensive, they were her favorite treat she never got to eat. She immediately popped one into herself. “Thank you  _ umyeni _ .” 

“Of course. One of us needs to have a happy disposition and it should be you.” He grabbed another one of the treats and popped it into her mouth. “If it came from me I don’t think they would trust me anymore. Too traumatizing.”

It was easy to relax when he worked so hard to help her out. In the morning, stress about the serum was in the back, and she stared at her clothes trying to figure out what to wear. She was going to finally see Atiena again since she was first inspired to become an agent for Novyi Zem. She wanted to make a good impression. 

Soft light filtered into their small studio apartment. Adrik sat up against the wall, his eyes looking nearly hollow as she held up different dresses and combinations of pants and tops. “It all looks great,” he commented uselessly. 

Leoni let out a groan. “I don’t wanna look  _ good, _ I want to look competent.” But she settled on a purple dress with red geometric patterns. She thought it was a nice tribute to the Ravkan kefta, but not. Since she wasn’t particularly fond of Ravka minus her fiance. She twisted her coral engagement ring, and tied the top of her long braids back, adding some gold clips. Then she pulled her traveling  _ bahandi _ bag out. Another thing she had to replace when she left Ravka. Bitterness at the thought rolled up in her throat. That had been precious to her - gifted when she graduated from zowa school and moved into agent training.

The meeting was a short tram ride away. She didn’t understand if she could actually contribute to much. The building was nondescript - looked like any empty storefront.

She walked in and saw Liyani there. Leoni smiled and pulled the woman into a hug. “I love seeing you around,” she said. It was the truth. Liyani had watched over and helped protect her near and far. 

“Good to see you too my dear,” the older woman said. “My wife says hi. The youth council is waiting for you, we’ll catch up later.”

Leoni nervously ran a hand through the braids that dangled down, and walked into the room.

It was much more casual than she thought. Judging by the features, there were other 20-somethings from all around Nyota Heri. She recognized Atiena instantly. The woman was still as stunning as ever, looking like a young queen with a halo braid around her face, and two small braids by her ears dangling cowrie shells. She wore a deep magenta dashiki dress. “Inyoni,” she said. “Welcome.” 

She motioned to an empty chair for her, and Leoni put her  _ bahandi _ kit on the floor and joined them. “Thank you so much for coming - having been deep undercover in Ravka will help us a lot. As I understand, you’ve had close contact with the Tsar for several years?”

Leoni nodded. “Yes. My fiance has known him for much longer, but I studied in the Fabrikator workshops at the Little Palace of Os Alta.” 

“And as I understand it, you did an exemplary job. We thank you.” Atiena had a presence that drew Leoni in. 

The praise made her flush. “Thank you, Atiena. You are the one that inspired me to take this path, after you came to speak at the Girl’s Zowa school.”

Atiena’s eyes widened and her smile grew. “I thought I recognized you! Inyoni Mbeki?”

“That’s me,” Leoni beamed. 

“Did you know a man named Nhaban while you were in Ravka? He helped us a great deal.”

“I only knew him a couple months before leaving on mission but he was wonderful. I’m so glad he was able to talk to you. We became close. But he knew me as Leoni Hilli, my alias.”

“Well, we’ll have to talk sometime,” Atiena gripped Leoni’s hand and she jolted slightly, but smiled. Years in Ravka had made her use to their lack of touch. “Let me introduce you to the others.”

Everyone was smiling except one boy, who was staring at her with such an intensity Leoni suddenly became self-conscious.

“This is my brother Sefu. Lwazi from the West, Fatima from the North, and Nandi from the stolen lands like you. And this is the incredible Jesper, an absolute genius, as well as our translator.”

Those gray eyes. The breath caught in her chest. “Fahey?”

He gave a tight nod.

_ No. _

_ Not like this. _

Leoni swallowed hard. He was lean - like he was getting over an illness, skin stretched taught over his cheekbones. His curls in finger coils. He was handsome - even if his eyes were almost unsettling in their starkness against his dark skin. But what struck her most was the hurt in his eyes. She could see Aditi’s face in his. 

Everyone looked between them, the tension palpable. Leoni gripped the fabric of her dress.  _ I shouldn’t be here, _ she suddenly thought. 

“Are you okay?” Sefu asked Jesper.

Jesper took a moment to answer. “She’s the one who killed my mom.”


	11. Tumultuous

Jesper watched the color drain from Leoni’s face, turning her skin an ashen brown. He didn’t know why he said it. But it tumbled out of his mouth.

It was unfair - here she was, alive, healthy. She had a fiance, an engagement ring sitting on her finger. Why was her fiance over here? His boyfriend was stuck in Ketterdam, the visa process completely frozen. She was quite beautiful too - big brown eyes and a wide nose perfectly balanced over a full round mouth. She was small on top and curvy on the bottom - considered an ideal shape by Zemeni standards. Her fiance was a lucky man.

But his mother was still dead. How could he pretend to be perfectly okay? Not only that but she  _ stole his mother’s name _ . Leoni Hilli, she had gone by. There was no reason to take the name, not when Jesper didn’t even have it. All he had was a life without his mother and the bitter memories of his father’s loneliness in those initial days.

Sefu reached for his leg under the table and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Jesper placed his own on top, gripping painfully. 

Atiena was the first to break the silence. “Why don’t we take a break? I’m going to get some food.”

They were left staring at each other.

Her dark brown eyes were watering and he snapped. “You don’t get to cry.” His voice choked up. “You don’t. Get. To cry.”

Jesper's mind raced painfully. His temple throbbed as he juxtaposed her face to the little girl hiding behind the man, trying to get Jesper to go to the school. She had an entire life. She got a happy ending. Here he was, picking up the pieces of who he had been, and turning into the person he wanted to be.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. Her lip trembled violently and fat tears rolled down her face. "I'm so sorry about your mom." She let out a small sob. 

He wanted to hate her so much. It reared ugly in his head, clawing at the inside of his chest. It was oppressive. Before he could say anything else she reached down to grab her bag. "This was a mistake, Atiena can read my official report -"

"No I can't," Atiena interrupted. She strode back in. "Why don't you take a walk with Fatima? Jesper and I are going to chat before we begin."

The moment the door swung shut Jesper opened his mouth. Atiena beat him to the punch. "So what the fuck was that?"

Jesper's mouth went slack. "She's the one who -"

"I didn't ask you who she was." Her demeanor shifted from the friendly, warm, inviting woman he knew to a hardened and angry politician. "Can you control yourself? She's also one of the best agents in the entire country who went deep undercover in hostile land for four years and brought down a network of Fjerdan testing and trafficking of young women. So tell me - can you control yourself? We can have a whole conversation about this when this meeting is over."

Atiena breathed in. "You've been through a lot. I don't mind if you need to step out."

"No," he said. "I'll be fine. Just, can you send in Sefu?"

She nodded and stepped outside. He could hear Leoni sobbing uncontrollably. Why did he feel bad? Leoni didn't deserve any sympathy, not from him. 

Sefu walked in. "You holding up alright?"

"Absolutely not," Jesper said miserably. Sefu walked behind him and then pulled him into a tight hug from behind. It was strong and secure and Jesper grabbed his hand onto Sefu's forearm. How could a simple gesture be so grounding? But he heard Sefu's heartbeat and his own slowed down. 

He wasn't sure how long Sefu held him that way, head buried in the crook of Jesper's neck, and Jesper's thumb rubbing circles where it touched his arm. When the door finally opened Sefu let go. "Thanks," he whispered. Sefu nodded and took the seat next to him again. 

This time he avoided Leoni's eyes, but when he peeked he saw they were bloodshot from crying. Sefu reached for his hand and against better judgement, he grabbed it tight.  _ Wylan would understand,  _ he told himself.

She cleared her throat, but her voice was still raw when she spoke. "My birth name is Inyoni Mbeki but I've been going by Leoni for awhile and prefer it for now. I spent several months in Fjerda with Ravkan operatives. Commanding Officer Adrik Zhabin and agent Nina Zenik, the corpsewitch."

Jesper's eyes flew up. "Nina?"

Leoni flinched at his voice. "Yes."

Atiena shot him a threatening look. Jesper squeezed Sefu's palm tighter as his heart beat faster. How did she become so entangled in his life?

"Adrik's passport name for Nyota Heri is Yaroslav, as a decoy." Jesper listened as she detailed the relevant events of her Fjerdan mission, and the resulting fallout. Leoni appeared to have no lost love for Nina, not as she talked about her poisoning and the resulting banishment from Ravka. Leoni refused to look at Jesper and he couldn't blame her. 

"And do you trust your fiance?" Atiena asked with an arched brow. "Do you truly believe that he has given up Ravka?"

"I do," Leoni said. "He has no lost love for the Tsar, but I am also honest with myself. His sister is there. As well as her wife Tamar Kir Bataar."

"The Bataar twins by any chance?" Nandi spoke up. "Small world. I knew them back home. They spent much of their life in Nyota Heri before joining some pirate."

"Is it possible they are involved in the terrorist attacks?" Atiena paused. "Any chance that pirate went to Kerry?"

"We can't leave any stone unturned. I'll look into their records."

They asked questions about everything. What she knew about the Triumvirate, the General. Parem research. But she was quick, with a lock box memory. Where was he two years ago? Killing people in alleyways and negotiating gang wars. She did so much better for their country. 

Jesper realized he was gripping Sefu's thigh now. Had they scoot closer together? He quickly took it back, reaching into his pocket for his coin.  _ Gold. Silver. Gold. _

That fateful day he watched his father threaten to kill a man, their lives split. And now they came crashing back together. .

When the meeting ended she rushed out quickly. Jesper got up to follow her. She owed him… something. To speak. To explain. Even if he didn't want to hear it. But instead she ran out with her bag. He went to follow her out and saw her crying in front of a man.

He was a skinny blonde white man with light green eyes and when he saw Jesper, his face contorted in anger. In accented Zemeni he shouted. "Did you do this?" His hand shot up.

The breath left Jesper's lungs. Literally. All the pressure went out and he couldn't make a sound. 

"Adrik!" She said. "Stop!" Jesper wheezed and reached his own hand out, feeling. He squeezed his fist and he saw a mechanical arm crumple, turning into sand and falling apart. 

"What the fuck?!" The Ravkan said, staring at the remains blowing away in the wind. Jesper clutched his chest as the air came rushing back.

Leoni whirled on him. "Why did you do that?!" She stormed up to him. She was still crying but now her mouth was in a frown and her eyebrows were drawn tight. "Your problem is with  _ me, _ not my fiance!"

Sefu was helping Jesper up. "Is everyone bringing back white boys from abroad?" He muttered.

"He stopped my lungs," Jesper breathed heavily.

"Every five year old zowa has accidentally had their lungs or heart stopped!" She shouted. "You turned his arm into dust!" Leoni shoved his chest, glaring up at him. "What is wrong with you?"

"How did you even do that?" Her fiance asked. The fire was gone out of him.

Leoni got up into his face, jabbing her finger hard into his chest. "I have to make that from scratch again. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Leoni, let's just go," Adrik said with a weary sigh. 

She went to him, putting an arm around his waist. "You know I spent my whole life trying to live up to your mother. She was legendary. And kind. She was my first zowa teacher. And you're not the only one to lose a parent." Leoni wiped at angry tears. "I'm sorry." She looked over at Adrik. "Let's go make another arm."

Adrik gave Jesper such a stormy look, he could imagine the lightning crack down. A Ravkan squaller, like the one he'd met in Ketterdam. She had also been grouchy. Maybe it was a squaller thing. 

"I have no idea what happened," he muttered. He looked over at Sefu. "Was I a jerk?"

Sefu rolled his lips in. "She tried to apologize and you made her cry and turned a disabled man's arm into dust."

"I just… my mom died for her."

"And she chose that." Sefu put a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to forgive anyone. But did she deserve all that? Have you ever made a mistake, or been held accountable for something that was out of your control?"

Jesper's stomach lurched. He was acting like Kaz.

Back at the farm, his father was still doing work on the roof, so he decided to start dinner. His appetite had only recently returned, but he pulled goat meat out of the ice box to get started. 

As the meat and spices settled on the stove, he noticed letters on the table. There was one for him stamped via Kerry. He grabbed it and instantly recognized the cautious handwriting. Wylan. 

_ Thank the ancestors, _ he thought, tearing it open. It's what he needed. It had been months of relentless turmoil. 

> _ Jes, _
> 
> _ Remember before we went to Fjerda? How tightly wound the city was? That's what it's like now. Everything is tense before the summit begins. The Zemeni quarter has a curfew since the blockade. It's bad here.  _
> 
> _ I hope you're doing well.  _
> 
> _ Jesper. I don't think it's going to get any easier. The blockade, Kerch-Zemeni relations. We thought it was bad after the assassination of the ambassador. But not like this. I talked to Kaz and he agrees.  _
> 
> _ We shouldn't fool ourselves. You don't want to be in the Dregs. I don't want to leave the Dregs, and my mom wouldn't be able to make the move. I don't want to do this but what future can we build? _
> 
> _ You're my first love. I love you Jesper. Goodbye. _
> 
> _ Wy. _


	12. Heartbreak

Colm found Jesper laying on the family room floor, the letter laying on his chest. “Are you okay?” Jesper couldn’t answer and just handed him the paper. Colm skimmed it over, his mouth moving. “Oh, son,” he said.

Colm let out a grunt as he sat down next to Jesper on the floor. He pulled Jesper up against his side and wrapped an arm around him tight. “Let it out,” he murmured. Jesper curled up as small as he could, even though he had a good head and a half on his dad. Colm gripped him painfully tight, humming some low song Jesper didn’t understand through the tears. 

Jesper cried until he had nothing left, and then Colm lead him to the couch. “A moment,” he said. There was the sound of rustling in the kitchen, and then a kettle whistling. Even in his despair Jesper let out a little chuckle. Now that he’d met his grandparents, he could see the Kaelish wanted to solve everything with tea and treats.

Colm brought out some lemon-ginger tea sweetened with cane sugar, and a honey scone. Jesper sipped and nibbled on it. “Thanks,” he muttered, throat still tight. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, feeling like his chest was caving in. Jesper tucked his feet under him on the couch, letting himself lean against his dad again. The last year had brought them closer together than ever, and he was glad for it. 

“What did I do wrong?”

“I can’t answer that. That was your business. But sometimes relationships just don’t work. Incompatible. Or you grow.” Colm paused. “Or you find you’re happier somewhere else.”

Jesper nodded but still let out an ugly sniff. “Thanks, Da.” His head hurt, and everything felt dull. “Can you talk about something?”

Colm nodded and started to talk about the farm. The success of the crop meant he could pay his workers more, and he was going to a farmer’s meeting to see what new technology was coming out. Hearing his sweet, admittedly boring father talk about the mundane of Zemeni life was oddly calming. 

“I had a bad day,” Jesper finally admitted. “I went to this youth council meeting and uh.” He swallowed hard. “She was there. Inyoni. She’s going by Leoni now apparently.”

Colm’s mouth fell open. “You’re kidding?”

“Yeah. She -” Jesper sighed. “She looks good. She’s tall and engaged and has long box braids.” Here he was just broken up with. Pathetic. Crying and hugging his dad. 

“Long braids? Pretty face?” Colm asked. When Jesper nodded Colm let out a sigh. “She’s the one that came by the farm, I think. “She said she shouldn’t be here and made a mistake. She was scared of me.” Colm ran his hand through his beard. “She was distressed.”

Colm stood up and paced the room. “I know we haven’t really talked about it,” Colm started. “But I shouldn’t have acted that way towards her. I was grieving. But your mom wouldn’t have liked that. She would have wanted me to, I don’t know, take her in. Be nice to her.” 

It had never occurred to Jesper his father would regret something like that. “But she killed mum.”

“No,” Colm let out a shaky breath. “She didn’t, Jes. She was barely older than you at the time. And she did the same thing I did in Kerry for zowa. I wish more than anything she were here right now,” Colm looked up. “I miss her every day, morning to night, and in the strangest moments. But she would also love this girl probably. Isn’t she like you? She can change things.”

Jesper nodded dully. 

“I know I set a terrible example for you.” Colm pinched the bridge of his nose. “But you shouldn’t hold it against her.”

“But if it’s not someone’s fault, then it was all for nothing,” he said. He felt numb.

“Not for nothing. To give a young girl a fighting chance. Why was she at the meeting anyway?”

Jesper detailed a bit about what he remembered - she had been working undercover as a spy. Infiltrated Ravka and then Fjerda. Saved a bunch of girls. When he spelled it out like that, he could almost see what Colm meant. 

“Incredible,” he said. “But even if she lived an ordinary life - did ordinary things. That is still worth it. Same goes for you, you know. If you’re ever tired of cavorting around the world getting shot at by people.”

They both gave watery chuckles. “I’m starting to get tired of it,” he confessed. “But I need to see it through. I haven’t done a good job of that before.”

“I understand.”

They ended up cooking in the kitchen, then took it out to the back porch where they could hear the faint sound of waves crashing against the rock. For the first time in a very long time, Colm told him stories. Stories about their family, about Aditi. He would stop when he choked up, and Jesper would jump in with what he could remember.

One time Jesper stained his mouth and face orange from jurda for a week because he got too excited playing with dyes. Colm got a heatstroke the first time he ever met Aditi. The three of them used to take vacations with Jammo and Hadiyah to the beach. When it got cold they brought blankets out. Jesper still ached - but Colm was sharing his heartache too. And it made everything more bearable. After all, his Da experienced the worst kind there was. Despite all that, he was doing great.

Jesper slept late into the morning before finally rolling out and grabbing fruit to eat. He walked past the dining area to see that his father was entertaining Sefu and Atiena, who both looked over at him. He was unwashed, shirtless, and his hair was frayed since he forgot to wrap it. Jesper was also fairly certain his under eyes and lips were puffy from crying.

“They came to check in on you,” Colm said, breaking the silence. “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“How did you find out already?” He mumbled.

Atiena arched an eyebrow. “Find out about what? We were there when it happened.”

_ Right. Leoni. _ Jesper groaned. That was all the same day.

"What did you think we were talking about?" Sefu asked with wide eyes.

Jesper turned towards his Da, but Colm had ducked out as silently as Inej herself. He swore under his breath. "Uh. Wylan ended things with me. I just got the letter yesterday."

The Kaboyongas had twin expressions on their face that he didn't fully understand, months quirked and brows furrowed. Then Atiena cleared her throat. " _ He _ ended things with  _ you _ ?" She clarified. Sefu elbowed her in the side. Then she quickly added "Jesper I'm so sorry."

Fresh tears piled into his eyes and he hastily blinked them away. "Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Can you guys give me some time to clean up?"

They nodded and he went into the wash closet to clean up and make himself presentable. He tied his hair up in a colorful scarf, and put on a loose dashiki style shirt and linen pants. They had moved out to the back porch overlooking the crops and fields. Colm had put out snacks for them - goat cheese and jams with bread. Atiena was kicked back on the hammock while Sefu sprawled out on the outdoor couch.

Sefu noticed him first and sat up, leaving room on the side. Jesper joined him, letting his shoulders sag. “Hi.”

“As a friend,” Atiena started. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said. “As my not-friend?”

“As your fellow councilmember, are you going to have your shit together for the Summit, and working with Leoni? There’s no shame if you need to take time off, since we’ll be in Ketterdam. There will still be a spot for you when you come back.”

“No, no,” he said immediately. “I talked about it with my Da. I was upset. And surprised. And I’ll,” he breathed in. “I’ll talk to her. Is she going too?” He asked.

Atiena nodded. “Her and her fiance will be attending. She’s an essential agent of Nyota Heri and we owe a lot to her. He’s a defector from Ravka - that’s very useful. But you’ve been through a lot. Emotionally and physically. I know that the parem is a huge stress on the mind and body. You need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”

Jesper appreciated that. He turned so he could see Atiena, leaning back against Sefu who put his arm on the back of the couch. “I know. It’s not as bad as it was. I think going to Kerry helped. I don’t know, it’s grounding. Something in the air.”

“Also your grandparents were cute as buttons,” Sefu rumbled. Jesper could feel his voice on his back. “Sorry about Wylan,” he continued. “You guys seemed good together.”

“We certainly seemed that way,” Jesper muttered. “I’ll be okay. Eventually. It just doesn’t make sense,” he said. “I thought he was going to try with me.”

“I know a thing or two about heartbreak,” Atiena said as she reached over to the table for more cheese and fruit. “It gets easier. You find ways. And if he doesn’t think you’re worth trying for, then he’s not really worth you is he?”

Sefu nodded. “I was dating a guy who made me feel awful about myself. You should be celebrated.”

“So should you Sefu,” Jesper said. He sank back, thankful again for the way Zemenis were allowed to touch each other, even similar-gender. None of the bullshit of Kerch, where everyone kept a three foot radius or risked being shivved and shot at. But instead Sefu lowered his arm from the back of the couch to Jesper’s back. 

“We got you,” the older boy said. 

“Distract me with some good news,” Jesper said, rubbing his eyes. “I had a hell of a day.”

Atiena perked up. “Wanna hear how we’re going to irritate the shit out of the Ravkan representatives?”

“Absolutely.”


	13. The Longest Night (1)

"Please come inside," Adrik said as he stood by their balcony door. Leoni waved him away, glasses secured to her face. 

"I'm almost done."

"It's been two days straight," he sighed. "The backup arm is fine for now."

Leoni sighed. She had moved her work table onto the balcony, doing her damndest to redo Adrik's arm before the summit, after yelling about Jesper to his superiors. Personal issues or not, it was completely inappropriate to take it out on her soon-to-be husband's prosthetic. She also wanted to try and have it done by the Winter festival.

"I guess the sun is going down," she muttered, putting her tools away. Adrik was cooking dinner but it was obvious the backup arm with a simple dual mechanical hook was not as efficient, even as he smiled at her. She walked behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Whatcha making?"

"Mandazi and shchi," he said, his face screwing in concentration. "I'll be a house husband yet."

"Not in this tiny studio," she said, as she grabbed a coconut and machete so she could slice it open. "We should grab you an outfit for the festival this weekend," she said, before delivering a decisive slice on the cutting board. "All white."

"Does my skin count?"

"Not unless you want to run around naked," she replied.

"Hmm. I'm not prepared to expose myself like that."

"You're nothing to sneeze at, but I think I want it all to myself," she grinned. 

The next day after work they went to the marketplace by the water. Clothing vendors were selling all white outfits, threaded with delicate gold and silver, and elaborate headpieces and scarves. Leoni walked around with Adrik until they found one specializing in men's wear.

"So what is this festival exactly?" He asked, as she held up different shirts to him. "Is it like the winter fête?" Then he paused. "No, you said not everything is like something else."

She couldn't help but smile at that. "It's not restricted to the upper class. The shortest day of the year is when it's considered the thinnest veil to speak to ancestors, make offerings, and place blessings for the next year. A time of dancing and singing too. It starts early in the morning."

"What kind of blessings?"

"The usual. Health, happiness. Some people ask for money or children. Safety."

"What will you ask for?" He asked quietly.

Leoni smiled and reached a hand to his. "A long and loving marriage."

Red tinged his cheeks as she pushed him into a dressing room to try on the clothes. When he came out, he wore a white agbada with silver wind-like patterns stitched along the sleeves and neckline, and white sandals. 

"How do I look?" He asked.

"Perfect," she beamed. 

The arm was roughly finished by the festival, enough so Adrik could use it. He looked clean shaven and boyish with his hair swept to the side off his face. Leoni elaborately tied the top half of her long braids back, adorning them with cowrie shells. Then she tied a mask on - long strands of cowrie shells dangled down her face, with golden threads sweeping across her forehead and down the center to her nose. 

She gave Adrik his headpiece for the night. A white and gray kitenge pattern headband that went across his forehead, with small freshwater pearls on each side that hung down and then looped back up to hook behind his ears.

"What is this for?" He asked. "What does it mean?"

"Pearls for safety, how they are sheltered in all things and resilient. Cowrie shells to connect you to the ancestors and ocean, and all people who have gone before."

Her outfit was a simple white top that was cropped right below her chest, and a full pleated skirt that went down to her knees.

"You are a vision," he whispered. He gently parted the curtain of cowrie shells to pull her into a deep kiss. It tugged deep inside her. Leoni had no idea what it was about Adrik that made her feel so secure, but she craved it. He traced his tongue and gently bit at her bottom lip, sending a jolt of lightning to her core.

"Nope," she said with a breathless laugh. "Not now. We have a long day ahead of us Mr. Zhabin."

"You sure?" he teased.

As much as it pained her, she stepped back to prepare the food. It was tradition to bring meals to elderly neighbors and she knew the Ravkan refugees around them were probably apprehensive and worried. She would show them Zemeni hospitality. "You can cool down by making sure that borscht doesn't spill."

* * * * *

On the farm a couple hours before sunset, Jesper and Colm stood in front of Aditi's tree. Jesper wore a white fitted tunic that went to his mid thigh and white pants, while Colm wore a simple white button up and tan pants. 

"I miss you mum," Jesper started with an soft voice. "I still carry you in my heart."

"My love," Colm said. "Thank you for watching over us. For bringing him home. I ask that you guide me in my choices."

Colm looked at Jesper, who swallowed thickly. "Help me in forgiveness and fortitude. And understanding. To see things the way they are, not the way my head tries to tell me. To discern the truth."

They dug their fingers into the earth and buried their tokens for her. Jesper buried one of the pink pompom petals for her, and the coin he liked to manipulate. Colm left a lock of his hair and a piece of her favorite fruit, papaya. Jesper felt the talisman on his wrist warm and he hoped it was his mother speaking to him. He turned to let Colm have alone time, and to prepare for the rest of the day. 

His headpiece had large golden circles that were draped down across his forehead, and he wore cowrie shell earrings. Gold to center his thoughts, to focus on what was to come. He then used white face paint to draw two lines on each cheekbone, and one under his chin. For perception. For speaking the truth. 

Brigid was in the sitting room dressed in a simple white shift dress and reading a book, her short fiery hair adorned with cowrie shells. She had spent most days at the Fahey farm talking with Colm, catching up. She had three dots over each eyebrow and a line down her nose in the white paint.

"You sure you don't want to join the festivities?" Jesper asked when his father came in. 

"That's fine, you have a good time with your friends," he said. "I'm going to have a quiet night. I got one of those record players at the market."

Jesper smiled. "Quiet night with Brigid?"

"You know our relationship isn't like that boy," Colm said. But he smiled. "Be safe tonight."

"I will," he reassured before giving his dad a tight hug. "I'll see you tomorrow, I'm sleeping over at the Kaboyongas."

"With Sefu? Make sure if y-"

"Dad!" Jesper groaned. "And Atiena. They live together. And Sefu is just a friend. You know, like Brigid"

"Oh." Colm scratched his beard. "Well still if you decide to. You know."

"Wylan  _ just _ broke up with me Da, and I did live in Ketterdam for a few years. So. You know."

They both furrowed their brows until Brigid stifled a laugh. "Have a good night, Jesper," she said. "I will keep him from fretting too much."

Jesper walked to the train station to take him to the center of Ol'Umoyana. Everyone around him was dressed in white or the palest fabrics, wearing their hopes for the year on their heads and bodies. Faith, hope, love, children. On this day where the sun and moon had equal time, Zemenis were vulnerable. 

Stepping onto the platform, he quickly strode to the Kaboyonga apartment. Atiena opened the door and took his breath away. She had a half mask over her eyes of a hundred tiny gold medallions with long strands of saltwater pearls connecting from one side to the other. White dots were under her bottom lip following the shape, for speaking the truth. Her outfit was a white dress made of some net-like material, flowing loose against her curves and showing off the white shorts and cropped shirt underneath. 

“Saints, Atiena,” he swore. “You’re going to kill everyone before they have a chance to make a wish.”

“Oh, that’s the goal,” she said with a wink. He grinned as she let him in. Her hair was done in numerous bantu knots with large triangle parts, each knot decorated with a pearl.

If Atiena took his breath away, then Sefu slammed him like a tidal wave. His long locs were wrapped in thin gold string and piled onto his head. Perception, just like Jesper. He had two locs free in front of each ear with a cowrie shell hanging off the end. Jesper saw that Sefu wore an open cloth vest that showed off the two white handprints on each pectoral muscle - strength. Jesper vaguely wondered who was lucky enough to touch them. Two lines went down his face from above each eyebrow down to his chin - staying true to his path. His drawstring pants were loose and cinched again at the ankle, showing off the white circles around his ankles - staying grounded. 

“You two look amazing,” Jesper said. “I don’t think I’ve got this down right compared to you. Maybe I’ll go back to Ketterdam where I’m the best looking person.”

“But then we’ll be deprived of your company,” Atiena said. Sefu just smiled at him. “The others are celebrating with their families today so it’ll just be us tonight. And you can sleep in Sefu’s room again when we get back.”

Jesper nodded. “I don’t want to interrupt whatever my Da and Brigid have going on tonight.” Colm had said again and again that Brigid just wasn’t interested in anyone like that but Jesper didn’t quite understand their friendship. Maybe that was his problem. It certainly was working for them. 

“Let’s go remind the earth we’re still here,” Sefu said.

* * * * *

Adrik had managed to spill the borscht a few times onto his white clothes, but Leoni used her zowa power to easily draw it out of the cloth, and they were on their way to the nighttime portion of the festival. She had given her offerings to her parents that had died, and then they had dinner with her parents that were alive, playing with her little brother. But now it was time for motion, for movement, and dreaming while awake.

The plaza was alive with people, white paint and jewelry decorating their bodies, white cloth clinging to brown skin that glowed under the moonlight. Leoni squeezed Adrik’s hand and the nervousness melted from his face. She loved the Solstice. She pointed out the different meanings behind what people wore. 

“Should I be wearing face paint?” he asked.

“You don’t have to,” she said. “This is your first time - I didn’t want to get too crazy. And you know what I want.”

“And I’ll give it to you,” he said, his face becoming completely serious. The intensity of affection that Leoni knew was a singularly Adrik quality. That made her feel like the only person, even in a crowd of people. There was an empty area that had become a designated dance floor and she drew him to it. The drums and singing carried out into the open air. Partners danced together close. Adrik’s eyes widened slightly at the hip-to-hip dance. “What is this?”

“Kizomba!” she said with a laugh. “I’ll teach you.”

She placed Adrik’s arms on the small of her back and explained the pattern of moving - back and forth, hips moving in tandem. He would never be a natural at it - but the closeness of it was enough for her. The sway of her cowrie shell mask. They only took a break to get a drink of spiked mango juice. They found a part of the old city wall that was open, Leoni sitting on Adrik’s lap while he wrapped his mechanical arm around his waist.

“I can’t believe people dance like this in public,” he said.

“Well, I probably wouldn’t in front of my parents,” Leoni joked. But only sort of. The winter night was cool, but the gooseflesh was from the way Adrik put his lips on the exposed crook of her neck. But she still let him, closing her eyes. There was something exciting about everyone showing their hopes and dreams, yet also hiding behind headdresses and masks. 

Leoni wanted to go check out the vendors that were set up for food, or goodies, when she saw him.

Jesper.

Anger, frustration, and fear went through her, and she seized Adrik’s arm. He froze and then pulled her tighter against him. She could feel the tension in the air from him, a dangerously strong squaller who was protective of her. 

But… he looked normal. He was with the Kaboyongas again. She noted his wishes for the year, written on his face. He wasn’t as tired-looking as before as he danced with the two of them, white sandals becoming stained from the packed dirt platform. As time passed, she relaxed more into Adrik, who then also calmed down, the prickling against her skin dying away.

When Jesper’s silver eyes glanced up at her, she didn’t see the anger and hurt from before. He excused himself from his companions and walked over to her. Leoni stood up from Adrik’s lap, waving at him to stay down. Jesper scratched the back of his head, stormy eyes downcast. 

“Hi Inyoni,” he said. “Leoni now, right?”

She nodded. A small breeze drifted around her wrist, Adrik’s sign that he was supporting her. “Jesper.” She was accustomed to smiling at people, so it was difficult being so frosty. Especially on a night filled with so much love and joy, and the way tendrils of warm air kept weaving in between her fingers in support, over her engagement ring.

“I need to apologize,” he started. “I wasn’t seeing clearly through the grief.” He motioned to the paint on his face. “And I took it out on you. My mom wouldn’t like that.” Leoni softened. “I’m sorry I said all that stuff. And did the thing with the arm.”

She felt a trail of air on the back of her neck. “That arm took a lot of work,” she said. 

“Can I make it up to you somehow?” He asked, scrunching his face.

“Maybe,” she said. The warm air danced across her collarbone. “I’m still hurt. But, why don’t we get lunch sometime?”

“That sounds good. Thank you.” He gave her a small smile and then turned back to his friends. When she did she felt air dancing up her legs and past the hem of her skirt. She rolled her eyes, even as she smiled and walked up to him between his legs, letting him put his arms around his waist where he sat. 

“You are incorrigible,” she said, but then she leaned down to give him a kiss. They danced the rest of the night away until the crowd began to thin out. 

At home Adrik slammed the door open with a gust of wind, sending papers and decorations flying around. Leoni let out a squeal as she jumped and hitched her legs around his waist. His mouth was insistent even as they stumbled to the bed, both of them breathless and laughing. 

He kept kissing her as she messed with the agbada, trying to figure out the best way to get it off of his body. She finally groaned in frustration. “I hate this thing right now.”

“You liked it earlier when you were picking it out,” he said.

“It’s just ten thousand layers of fabric right now!” she complained before finally figuring it out and tearing it off of his head, while accidentally ripping another part of it. “I’m done with this,” she said and just kept ripping it. She would always use her zowa gift to fix it later. 

He picked her up and put her on the bed, sliding her skirt off and top. Exposed in her undergarments, he traced the scars on her collarbone with a gentle finger. In the moonlight she saw his face see the paint on her body, a white line going from between her collarbone to her chest, disappearing under her brassiere and dipping down to her navel. Adrik’s face became serious, her skin burning where he looked.

“For what?”

“Long life. Long relationship. Balance in my life.” She closed her eyes as he leaned down but instead of kissing her mouth, he placed one from the top of the line, all the way down to its end. She wrapped her fingers in his hair and brought him up to take off the rest of their clothes.


	14. The Longest Night (2)

Jesper felt lighter after speaking to Leoni, going back to the siblings. 

“Well?” Atiena asked, hands on her hips. “That looked alright.”

“I think things are going to go well,” he said truthfully. Lunch, with Leoni. They both had the same zowa gift. They both went abroad and brought back a white boy. Hers seemed more adjusted to Nyota Heri though. 

“I would like to dance,” Sefu declared uncharacteristically. “

“Dance or clunk around?” Atiena asked sarcastically.

Sefu let out a much more characteristic sigh and then grasped both of them in each hands to pull them out to where the bodies were moving. Jesper lost sight of Leoni and was surrounded by Zemenis of all ages having a good time. Some danced in the intimate partner style, some just moved their bodies. Jesper was part of the latter. He couldn’t dance so freely in Ketterdam. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like, to be uninhibited.

“Do you know in Kerch their dancing has rules?” he shouted over the music to Atiena.

“I’m an Ambassador’s daughter, Jesper,” she reminded him. “I’ve had to learn all their stupid dances.” She held his hand as he spun her under his arm. “This is way more fun.”

Atiena was a great dance partner. Jesper craned his neck to see if Sefu was around, but each time he saw the gold-wrapped locs, he had a different partner. “Am I not good enough for you?” Atiena said, a grin on her face as Jesper looked over her shoulder again.

“You’re the most beautiful partner a man could ask for,” he said. And it was true. She was stunning and in another life he would be on a knee waxing rhapsodic to her like everyone else. In another life she didn't stand side by side with Sefu. Atiena, for her part, pursed her lips together in laughter. 

“I see an opening,” she said, and then shoved Jesper back.

Jesper bumped into Sefu. He saw Atiena wink flirtatiously at another man and join him for dancing. “Are you having fun?” Sefu said. Jesper could smell coconut on his breath, sweet and mixed with the scent of alcohol. 

“I am,” Jesper replied. Despite Atiena’s teasing, Sefu was pretty good, taking the lead and dancing with Jesper. Jesper was thrown off now - his dance partner for the last year had been Wylan. But Sefu was confident and that made it easier to follow, to relax into it. A pang struck his chest as he thought about Wylan. Of course Kaz had said it was a good idea. When had Kaz ever had Jesper’s best interest in mind?

“You look like you’re having a pretty good time too,” Jesper chuckled. “Do you know them? Or are you just Ol’Umoyana’s most eligible bachelor?”

Sefu’s smile was sweet and shy, even when the hand on Jesper’s back was firm and confident. “It’s fine, I’m not on the market.”

“No?” Jesper asked. 

Sefu gave a small shrug, “Not looking. I’m trying to do this whole ‘helping out the youth council’ thing first. Takes up a lot of time. Also I’m just not really feeling any of them.”

Jesper smiled. “Read any good books lately?”

They talked and talked, eventually moving off of the dance floor and grabbing more drinks from stalls, Jesper paying for the both of them. “Thanks,” Sefu said and they started walking along the city wall - even with the sound of people and music, Jesper could hear the waves lapping against the shore. It made him think of that fateful night in the harbor. The kiss that seared through everything. 

He glanced over at Sefu, and saw that he was watching Jesper. The air was a ripe fruit between them, fit to burst. If Jesper could just seize it. But his mind was always buzzing, always fraught with questions and thoughts that bounced around so quickly he could never verbalize it. Made more intense by the parem, even zowa doctors had a hard time helping. 

“Are you okay?” Sefu asked. He began to reach his hand to Jesper’s, before letting it fall. “It’s okay if you’re not.”

Sefu - always checking in on him. “I’m fine, or at least I’m getting there,” Jesper said honestly. “I usually talk all the time you know. In Ketterdam I was famous for it. I had to prove to them I could speak their language better, before they assumed, you know. But now I’m here and people understand, and I can’t form the words. Ain’t that a bitch?”

“Sure is something. But sometimes, you don’t need to talk.” 

Jesper looked down. He gently grabbed Sefu’s hand. They walked in the cool night air until the crowd thinned out, and the night sky was beginning to filter with hazy gray. Had he really been wandering about chatting with Sefu all night? “Sorry I kept you from dancing with everyone.”

“I was where I wanted to be.”

Atiena was chatting with a Zemeni man around her age, with medium-brown skin and an easy smile. When Jesper approached she gave a guilty smile. “Sefu I need my bed tonight.”

Jesper started laughing uncontrollably and had to excuse himself, just as Sefu realized what was happening. Jesper and Sefu walked the several blocks over to the Kaboyonga apartment. Atiena had taken her man into her bedroom already and closed the door. 

"I'll grab my stuff and sleep on the chair in the living room," Sefu offered. 

“At this point I may as well move in,” Jesper joked.

Sefu raised an eyebrow. “You can stay here whenever you want. Atiena and I already talked about it. It’s not like we have to worry about rent, it’s covered by our parents.”

Jesper considered the possibility. He still wanted to help his Da out on the farm. “Maybe on the weekends.”

They got ready for bed, Jesper’s head dulled by the alcohol and the nice night they had. It was the lowered inhibitions that made him walk out to the living room where a comically large Sefu was sleeping. Out in the shared space, noises filtered in from Atiena’s room that made Jesper’s ears burn. “There’s no way you can sleep through this.”

“It’s not so bad.”

“What? Some light trauma to drift off? Come back to your room.” Jesper smiled. “What’s a bed between friends?” 

Sefu had a decently sized bed, but Jesper didn’t anticipate how much space everything about him would take up. Sprawled on the bed, Jesper saw the generous expanse of deep brown skin that melted into the night when the lights went off. Like Jesper, Sefu tied his hair up at night, and it just highlighted the cheekbones leading down what Jesper imagined was a strong jaw under the neatly trimmed beard.

His aura was warm and relaxing.  _ It’s the alcohol, _ Jesper told himself. He lay on his stomach, hands folded underneath, trying not to stare. Sefu’s eyes were closed, his mouth slightly parted. Jesper buried his face in his pillow and ignored everything inside him. Eventually he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Jesper woke up feeling more well rested than he had in weeks. Months. He squinted against the sunlight and took in his surroundings. He felt safe. There was also an arm around his waist.  _ Oh shit, _ he thought. Sefu’s head was in the nook of his neck and he was dead asleep. He looked so peaceful. As peaceful as Jesper felt.  _ What to do _ ? He worried, trying to decide the best course of action. There were many options before him.

So Jesper decided to close his eyes and make it Sefu’s problem instead.

Jesper relaxed his body, but every shift of skin against skin burned against him and made him ache for something indescribable. But Sefu had told him words didn’t mean everything. He would have to trust it. Trust him.

When Sefu stirred, he didn’t move away. Jesper peeked over to see a lazy smile on the boy’s lips, and felt his arm squeeze tighter. “Good morning Jes.”

Jesper was seized with jealousy. The way the light formed a hazy halo around him - what other men had been able to see him like this? So soft, so gentle? Who had been the focus of his attention.  _ Shut up Jesper. You just got out of a loving and wonderful relationship. Stop being like this. _

Sefu finally rolled onto his back and then sat up, freeing Jesper from the torture of a perfect face. “I think Atiena is making breakfast,” he said. “Hopefully what’s-his-name is gone.”

“What was his name?” Jesper asked. “Does she know?”

Sefu shrugged. “As long as she’s safe - which she always is - it’s none of my business.” He paused. “Thanks for letting me back in my bed though. Would have been a weird night.”

They both laughed, and Sefu looked boyish. He finally stood and put a shirt on. “I’m starving. Let’s get some food.”

He had been right - Atiena was standing in front of an impressive spread of food, and her date was nowhere to be found. “Finally,” she said. “I’ve been waiting for hours. Time’s a-wasting.”

Jesper stared at her. “You were up later than us.”

“And?” she said. “We got stuff to do. The world keeps moving.”

Over the course of the week, Jesper helped Colm prepare for the next crop, continued training with zowa, and settled back into normalcy. Things felt hopeful. The days would be longer from here on out, and soon they would be on their way to Ketterdam. A large part of Jesper was terrified for the trip. He would undoubtedly see them again. Wylan, Kaz. Nina was probably still in Ravka or Fjerda somewhere. 

_ Leoni knew Nina, for awhile,  _ Jesper thought. Maybe he could talk to her about it. They needed to. Their brief moment at the festival was just a start. And Jesper was determined to make things right, and do what his mom would have wanted. His thumb traced the amulet on his wrist. 

They picked a small cafe in the Ravkan quarter of Ol’Umoyana. The cosmopolitan neighborhood had all sorts of languages filtering in and out of the windows and shops - most signs were in both Zemeni and Ravkan, and Jesper marveled at how integrated it was compared to the Zemeni district in Ketterdam - overpoliced by the Stadwatch and rarely visited outside of immigrants looking for a slice of home.

Leoni was dressed casually in a scarf wrapped around her chest, and lightweight pants that tapered in at the ankles. Her braids were piled into a bun on her head, and she was looking down at a letter in her hand. Jesper approached the table and she looked up. Jesper didn’t know what it was about Nyota Heri - there was something in the water that made everyone just gorgeous. He didn’t remember finding everyone so lovely in Ketterdam. 

“Thanks for meeting me Jesper,” she said. “I love this cafe. It’s run by a Zemeni man whose wife came over during the Border Wars. So they have a lot of everything.”

Jesper ordered a couple pastries at her recommendation, then sat back down. 

"How long did you live in Ravka?" he asked, noting how comfortable she was speaking Ravkan with the owner. 

"Four years and some change. I studied at the Little Palace, they have a very different school of thought than zowa schools, and then I was sent on a mission to Fjerda for a few months."

"Did you meet your fiance there?"

Leoni nodded. "And you went to Ketterdam?"

"My Da, you probably remember, wasn't keen on me training. I went to Ketterdam to be a lawyer. Fell onto some hard times."

The look on her face was sympathetic but understanding. "You didn't use it did you?"

"No."

"I understand. I lost part of myself in Ravka. I might not ever be Inyoni again. I mourn her. It's good to be back home. I didn't realize how alone I was until I came back. It's hard being the only one."

Something inside Jesper cracked. "It is."

The words came easy again to Jesper. They had more in common than different. Complicated families, dead parents. They commiserated on being the only Zemeni face in a sea of others, about food, about dancing. They talked about their love lives and how complicated it was dating abroad. They both loved mangoes. They lived wildly complicated lives. Killed people. Loved people - even ones who treated them badly. Jesper found himself crying while handing Leoni a handkerchief. 

"Thank you," he whispered. "I needed this."

"In another life we would be like brother and sister," she said. "I'm glad to officially meet you Jesper Fahey."


	15. Somewhere in Ravka (Interlude)

_ A little boy and girl play in their small town, still struggling to rebuild after the civil war. The girl is Fjerdan. The boy is Hedjut. They play by a small stream, tossing water on each other despite the freezing cold. The woman watching smiled, her husband gathering wood nearby. The kids from up North who moved to the orphanage always liked the cold. The rest were inside, sipping hot chocolate and reading by the fire. _

_ "I'm Sankt Adrik!" The boy shouts, folding one hand behind his back. He pretends to send air back. The girl plays along, falling into the snow.  _

_ The woman's eyes widen, and her apple blossom tea spills out of her hand. Her husband straightens up, and meets her worried gaze. _


	16. Introspection

“I really don’t see why we have to do this,” Leoni said. That earned her a quick whack from a cane on the back of her knees. She straightened up, Adrik doing the same thing in her arms. Ravkan court music filtered through the speakers and she was instructed to follow the steps laid out to her by the older refugee woman that was helping them. Her latest assignment before the summit was learning how to dance in upper class styles. Different than the kizombe weeks before, this required mind-numbing repetition. 

Adrik however seemed pleased that he was better than her at something. Leoni still wasn’t sure what the Zemeni Intelligence Office had in plan for Adrik - he was occasionally pulled in for private meetings without her, and wouldn’t tell her anything. The life of being an agent, she supposed. 

“There you go,” Olesya said. “Now you are getting it.”

Leoni did her best to relax and fall into the rhythm. It was easier with Adrik leading her - when she switched partners to Atiena’s brother Sefu, she failed miserably. Although he was also not doing well at it. 

“This dance is not fun,” Sefu said in a blase tone. Leoni couldn’t help but giggle. It was true. “I don’t think we’ve officially met. You’re Leoni Mbeki right?”

She nodded. “Sefu Kaboyonga?” 

“That’s me.” 

“I’m not used to all this,” Leoni admitted. “I was a student and a soldier and a spy.”

“And I’m a scholar,” Sefu admitted. “I would much rather be home right now. But my sister says I have to participate in the summit.”

“What even is the purpose of the summit?” Leoni asked. 

“According to Atiena, it’s about making Rakva sweat.”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Leoni responded. “They want to kill me after all.” She kept her tone light but the lurking fear returned. Fear of seeing Nikolai again. Of Zoya. Her throat tightened as she remembered the chains on her wrists and the bleakness of the jail cell in Os Alta. “Excuse me,” she said, with a bright smile, and stepped back.

Leoni walked briskly outside, where she focused on calming down. Her chest was tight and heaving, and tears stung at her eyes. When the door opened, she expected to see Adrik but was surprised to see Sefu. 

“Sorry, I noticed you were upset,” he said.

“I’m not sure what’s happening,” she said. 

“It’s a panic attack,” Sefu responded. He had such a calming presence. He stood in front of her, holding his hands out. “Do you mind?”

Leoni shook her head. He continued. “I used to have these all the time in university.” He put his hands on her shoulders. They had the calloused texture of someone who worked hard. “Breathe with me,” he said. He made a dramatic show, and she followed along, starting to feel a tingle on her shoulders. She started to breathe. “Focus on things you know are true. You’re standing outside. The sky is blue.”

Leoni nodded. “It’s sunny outside. You’ve got a bit of fuzz in your beard.”

Sefu smiled. It was a nice one. “If you think about the present the future isn’t so scary.”

“I didn’t know you were a zowa,” she said.

“Our little secret,” Sefu replied softly. “Please.”

Leoni had no idea what would possess him not to be openly a zowa. Leoni knew that being a zowa was a dominant trait - his mother was zowa, and his sister was. It was reasonable that he was too. But that wasn’t her business. “Thank you,” she said, and reached forward to give him a hug. “You’re a wonderful healer.” 

She went back inside, focusing on the present like Sefu suggested. It was much easier to dance with him. Adrik mouthed  _ are you okay? _ to her, and she nodded. They finished up their lesson, Leoni pasable, Adrik flourishing. The next day they would be focusing on Kerch dancing, and she was not looking forward to it. 

“What was that?” Adrik asked as they left, grabbing lunch at a local stall. 

“I just got a bit nervous,” Leoni confessed. “Thinking about seeing them again.”

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Adrik said. “We’ll stay here. Help from afar.”

“That’s okay. Sefu helped me out.”

Adrik tilted his head. “Not to be worried but -”

“Stop,” Leoni said. “No.” Whether he wanted her to stay, or if he wanted to ask about Sefu, she wanted to beat him to it. “I love you, and I love Nyota Heri. We need to face this. I’ll see Healer Kalashnik as soon as she has an appointment.” 

Adrik gave her a hug, and they ate goat kebabs before heading out for the rest of the day. 

The next day Leoni sat in Kalashnik’s office. It was a beautiful and airy space - clean wooden shelves with hand-painted ankara designs on the sides. It was comfortable, and Leoni had a glass of water next to her. She hadn’t been to Kalashnik’s office in awhile. Adrik went regularly. She felt guilty for being back. 

Kalashnik was a fair-skinned Zemeni with Ravkan heritage. Her coppery hair was pulled into bantu knots, and she wore a simple kefta-like dress. She specialized in helping refugees and those directly affected by either the Border Wars or the Civil War.

“Good to see you back, Leoni.” Her smile was not broad, but it was genuine. 

“I would think that you wouldn’t want me to be here?” She gripped the fabric of her dress.

“Only if you are doing well. Are you doing well?”

“Yes. Work is going well Adrik and I are doing great. At least I think we are.” Leoni shot Kalashnik a suspicious glance. “Unless he told you differently. When all of the craziness is done I’m not going to do anything but plan our wedding and sit on the balcony.”

Instead she was stressed. She was getting irritated faster. 

"That's what makes you happy?"

"Adrik makes me happy. Being home makes me happy." Leoni shrugged. "I'm tired of Ravka."

"Your fiance is Ravkan," Kalashnik pointed out. "Does that factor in?"

"No, no. I didn't like who I had to be in Ravka. They saw all Zemenis as threatening you know? Barbaric. He's not like that. I had to be happy all the time instead. Cheerful, to put them at ease." Leoni had become the most palatable Zemeni to fit in.

"Four years is a long time to wear another personality," Kalashnik commented. 

"I just worry." Leoni bit her lip. "I'm worried he won't like me as I am." Leoni tried to put on her biggest smile. "You could tell me?"

"You know I won't share my client's details," Kalashnik smiled. "Even when they both beg me." The therapist cleared her throat. "You have endured considerable trauma, Leoni. Things change. You as a person will change."

"It's not like I got my arm bitten off," Leoni said in an attempt at humor. "I have it better than the refugees you see. So I was thrown into a cell for a little bit."

"You also came very near death."

"I was a secret agent. Part of the job."

Kalashnik sighed. "Leoni. This is not a competition. You cannot process everything if you make light of it. We've talked about this." There was compassion in her eyes. "Have you talked about it with Adrik lately?"

"You know I haven't," Leoni said with a scrunch of her face. "I want to be strong for him, not give him something else to worry about."

"Do you think he can be strong for you?"

Leoni looked down and bit her lip.

* * * * *

That night, Leoni and Adrik went to a zowa training session. Leoni was getting better at hand to hand combat but she still preferred her long range guns. Jesper had offered to help her with revolvers, and using her zowa gifts. 

Atiena approached the two of them when they arrived. "Leoni! Mind if I steal him for a moment?"

"Would you like to be stolen?" Leoni asked.

Adrik shrugged. "Sure why not."

She wandered until she found Jesper, who was helping a young zowa with their gun skills. His features were animated, and she didn't miss the way he occasionally glanced over at Sefu, who was doing hand to hand combat. In his hand he continuously flipped a coin, without even noticing. 

When he caught Leoni staring he waved. Her pulse quickened and throat tightened, until she thought about their lunch together.  _ Everything is okay now, _ she told herself.  _ He doesn't want to hurt you. _

"Liyani told me you're good with long range guns," he said as he handed her twin revolvers. 

"They're my favorite," she said. "She actually taught me how to shoot."

“Did you end up going to the zowa school in the west?” He asked.

Leoni nodded. “I did. I went to one for girls and third gender children. I learned a lot. Then I was recruited into Liyani’s intelligence agent program.”

“That sounds so big. Better than what I did.”

“Not really,” Leoni responded. “Because you wound up here, didn’t you? In the same place as me.”

“I didn’t think of it like that,” Jesper said. He gave her a toothy smile. “Thank you.”

Jesper was a great tutor for shooting. She almost didn’t notice how long Adrik was gone. Almost. But the night was stretching on and at least an hour had passed by the time she saw him walking back. He was frowning. Atiena wasn’t to be seen. “Do you mind if I head out?” she asked Jesper. He nodded and she hurried over to him. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Leoni asked him. Her worries from earlier with Kalashnik melted away, all focused on Adrik instead. “What happened?”

“She asked me a lot of questions about Ravka. A lot. About people I know.” He rubbed his face, looking hazy. “Stuff I probably shouldn’t have shared.”

Leoni straightened up. “Stuff even I don’t know?”

Adrik looked her in the eyes. Guilt wracked his face. “Yes.”

“Well.” She cleared her throat. “That’s okay. Let’s go talk.”

The two made their way under a tree and sat on the prairie grass. Adrik’s eyes were slightly unfocused as he looked around, and he reached for her hand. After several minutes of silence, he finally shifted and spoke. “So. Almost six years ago, I fought with Alina Starkov on the Fold. A lot of people died that day.” 

Leoni nodded, reaching forward with her free hand to brush her thumb against his face. But nothing could have prepared her for the next statement.

“But Alina didn’t.”


	17. The Truth of Things

Leoni stiffened. “Sankta Alina. The martyr - the one on every altar in Ravka. She’s alive? What? How?”

Adrik looked around. “She wanted a normal life. She wanted to get married and live in the countryside. Last time I visited her she looked so happy. I’m sorry I never got to say goodbye to her.”

She tried to process this information. She had jumped immediately into post-war Ravkan life. The image of Sankta Alina and  _ sol koroleva _ was everywhere. When she went to small villages she saw the constant iconography. 

A young girl with white hair, golden halo exploding around her head. Pushing back the darkness. Sometimes it was a startling likeness of the girl, who shared more Shu features than Ravkan. Common for border kids. Other times it was done in crude, broad, strokes on the side of a barn. Leoni thought Adrik should be rendered in such ways, in all mediums. Did people remember him? A blonde boy with part of his body buried in the Ravkan earth. 

Did people draw her like that now, in Fjerda? “Who knows about her?” Leoni asked. 

“Those of us still alive. Me and Nadia, the Twins, and the Triumvirate. And Nikolai.”

“And now me and Atiena.” Leoni whispered. And whoever Atiena chose to tell. She wondered what that kind of information would leverage. But Leoni wasn’t a politician. And she wasn’t sure that it  _ should _ be leveraged. Suddenly Alina became a girl, burdened with responsibility, who wanted to get married and have a quiet life. Not so unlike Leoni.

“And now you and Atiena,” he said. Adrik squeezed her hand. 

“What was Alina like?”

“Honestly?” Adrik gave her a crooked smile. “Sullen. Moody. She didn’t like being a saint at all, and would have much rather gone unnoticed by everyone and everything. She hated herring, and stepped into her role as  _ sol koroleva _ because it was what Ravka needed.”

“Wouldn’t people notice a sun summoner out in the country?”

Adrik frowned. “Well, that’s the thing. She used  _ merzost _ against the Darkling. And her powers left her.”

Leoni went slack-mouthed as he talked about the amplifiers. Morozova’s amplifiers. He spoke in more detail about the events that fateful day on the Fold than he ever had. They huddled together under the acacia tree, the words tumbling out of his mouth. The names he sometimes murmured in his sleep.

_ Merzost _ . Abomination and wrongness. Leoni couldn’t imagine what kind of perversity she would have to commit to have her zowa gifts eat away at her. Three amplifiers. She didn’t even have one talisman. But Adrik didn’t have one either, and he was able to stop dam water. She could only imagine what he could do with a boost. 

“I’m sorry,” Adrik said with a shake of his head. “I should have waited until we got home.” He leaned forward and buried his head in the crook of her neck. “DIdn’t mean to take time away.”

“There’s still time for that,” Leoni said with a light-hearted chuckle. “It’s better than my Ravkan dancing at any rate.” She paused. “You’re like a hero out of legend. They tell stories about you.” 

“I think you’re forgetting that they’re also going to be talking about you. Sankta.”

Leoni rolled her eyes. The entire thing had probably passed in Gafvalle. Some local legend that tour guides would tell to visitors. 

* * * * * 

Leoni was back at the tailor now without Adrik, who was catching up on work before they head to Ketterdam. She had an impressive array of dresses laid out before her for the Summit in a variety of colors. “I don’t need this many clothes,” she said. 

“You absolutely do,” Atiena said. “I promise.” She cocked her head, and reached for a blue and yellow dress that looked like it would barely go over Leoni’s hips. “Wow this one is beautiful. You would look amazing.”

“Not if I want to move at all,” Leoni laughed, Atiena smiled and Leoni felt a sense of pride. Atiena had asked to spend some time with Leoni before they left on the boat the next week. To get to know her. Atiena was now wearing her natural hair out, the tight kinky coils forming a soft halo. Leoni also had taken her braids out, tying it back with a headscarf until she could get them redone.

“What about that one?” Atiena asked. “You have to wear it to the summit.”

Leoni looked at the gown in question. “Adrik would love it.”

“Well there you go,” Atiena grinned. “I know lots of people would love that dress.” 

Leoni rolled her eyes, but she did snatch that one, and the dressmaker put it in her trunk for the trip. They compared their dress outfits, and daytime outfits, before leaving to check out the local stalls. 

“Thanks for this day,” Leoni said. “I was nervous.”

“Why would you be nervous?” Atiena asked, reaching forward to pick a piece of lint out of a stray curl on Leoni’s head. “You’ve met me before. I’m just a few years older and louder.” Leoni smiled as Atiena grinned. “You’re the real impressive one.”

“Well you inspired me. And you do so much, why would you want to see me?”

“You seem really nice. And I’ve spent way too much time with my brother and Jesper. I love Sefu but he’s a little moody.”

“Adrik is moody too, it’s one of the things I love about him.”

“He is pretty moody. I think it’s all the cold in Ravka. My ex fiance, Ilya, he also was a little dour.”

“The cold definitely doesn’t help,” Leoni agreed. “And the war.” 

“And the godawful  _ food _ ,” Atiena complained. “They’ve never heard of paprika.”

“You would think they’d pick something up from the Suli,” Leoni commented. “They do have some delicious pastries.”

They laughed together. “Cloves!” Leoni added.

“Garlic!”

“Fenugreek!”

“Black pepper!”

They walked the length of the market listing every spice and seasoning they could think of, Leoni’s face hurting from how much she smiled as they described the most disgusting things they ate in Ravka. 

* * * * *

The morning they were leaving for Ketterdam, everyone wore inconspicuous clothing, and the sun was hovering just below the horizon. There were plenty of ships in the harbor, and the one they boarded was inconspicuous. 

Leoni noticed the crew was mostly Suli.  _ Interesting _ , she thought. Atiena gathered the Zemeni delegation together, signaling for Adrik to help her voice carry.

"Thank you. You may notice we are not on a Zemeni vessel. Due to the blockade and security concerns we are working with a crew that has been faithfully escorting refugees to our shores for the past year. We will be heading straight to Western Ravka first and then Ketterdam from there." She turned to the side. "Would the captain like to say a few words?"

A small Suli woman walked up to her. Much younger than Leoni would have expected. "Welcome to the Wraith," she said. "Mind yourselves."

"INEJ?!" came an incredulous voice. Jesper was slack-mouthed, before pushing his way past everyone to the Captain. A man motioned to grab his gun but she smiled and ran up to meet Jesper, leaping into his arms.

Leoni looked at Adrik, who shrugged. They started speaking in rapid Kerch. A Suli man with wavy hair pulled back in a headband was talking to Atiena, while the second mate began shouting orders to the crew. The ship came to life then, bodies crawling and moylilos handling the sails.

A thrum of excitement went through Leoni. Just like the trip to I'a Nui there was something wonderful about heading into the open sea. Adrik went to their quarters to go back to sleep, and Leoni saw a familiar face. 

"Keao!" She called out, and hugged the woman. Her long thick hair was pulled into two braids, her broad face serene as she squeezed Leoni back.

"Good to see you again," she said. "Your country has been wonderful. At least the parts I've seen."

"I'm thrilled!" Leoni exclaimed with a smile. "I know you must miss your family." 

"I do. But we would like to stand by our allies. Zemenis are well loved by Nui’ians. The Kerch,” Keao clucked her tongue. “Are not.”

Leoni arched her eyebrow. The Nui’ians were famous for their oral traditions, song and story. “I would love to hear more.”


	18. The High Seas

Jesper couldn’t believe it. Inej was whole and alive in front of him. Still tiny, still fearless. Still everything he wanted to see. He didn’t realize how much he missed her until he realized who it was. Of all the people he knew in the Crows,  _ this _ was the person he wanted to see again. Her skin was darker, a burnished deep bronze from the sun, and her back straight. 

He ran up and swept her into a hug, picking her up off her feet. Professionalism be damned, there were tears springing into his eyes. She squeezed him back, a laugh buried in his neck. “Jesper?! You’re part of the Zemeni delegation?”

“What can I say?” He chuckled, cheeks hurting from his smile. “I have friends in high places.”

“And low,” she said, as he put her back down on her feet. “Welcome aboard.” Her brown eyes looked as moist as his. “Catch up tonight?”

Jesper nodded. He found himself craning his neck for Sefu, and saw him leaning over the railing. He grimaced as the boat lurched and Sefu vomited into the ocean.  _ No worse than a corpse _ , he told himself, and reached forward to pull his long locs back. 

Sefu looked gray, and gave Jesper a miserable and mirthless smile. “Thanks.”

Jesper focused on Sefu’s locs as he leaned back over, knuckles pale as he gripped the side tight. They were meticulously maintained, and Jesper could see the freshly twisted new growth at the roots, thinner than the rest until it eventually settled. His simple spun dashiki was a deep purple and all Jesper could think about was when they woke up together, and the weight of Sefu’s arm on his waist.

A wavy-haired Suli man with a headband approached them. “Hello. You should go into a hammock, friend.” He smiled. “It will help with the rocking.” Then he arched an eyebrow. “Big man, small stomach.”

Sefu slowly nodded.

“My name is Zakhir. I’m the navigation master.” 

“Jesper. This is Sefu,” he replied. Sefu weakly raised his hand up. 

Zakhir pointed them to the hammocks and excused himself to go find the Nui’ian wayfinder. Jesper helped Sefu up, putting an arm around his waist while Sefu put one on his shoulder. The hammocks were set up outside, next to the sleeping quarters. Brigid gave him a lazy wave. Jesper didn’t even understand why she was there, but if Atiena thought it was best, then he trusted her. 

Last he heard, Brigid was seriously considering moving to Nyota Heri and staying with Colm. If she did, maybe he would move to Ol’Umoyana. Start another new chapter in his life. He glanced over at where Sefu was, by the ocean and leaning over the rail. 

A sense of malaise settled on him as he thought about Ketterdam. It seemed lifeless and dull compared to Ol’Umoyana. Wylan and Kaz would be in the city. In fact, they were probably docking in Fifth Harbor. Kaz controlled the whole thing, and if Jesper knew him, he was expanding his grip on the city. Something he didn’t want to be a part of.

When they went to get dinner in the galley, Inej was waiting for Jesper and waved him over. A smile stretched on his face. Inej. His hesitations about Ketterdam flew away, especially when she was there. He had missed her friendship and guiding hand. How careful and respectful she had been. He swept her into another hug, her feet dangling. 

“Oh I’ve missed you darling Inej,” he muttered.

“I’ve missed you too, dashing Jes,” she replied. Their traditional exchange. Despite over a year's absence, it felt just like normal. “Come eat with me.”

“Anything for you,” he said with his cheesy smile. It was effortless around her. They squeezed together, his knees hitting the top of the tables that were bolted down to the floor, likely by zowa hand. “I can’t believe you’re in front of me.”

“I was hoping to come find you after this trip,” she said. “But this is even better.”

“Absolutely.” He wanted to keep hugging her, to keep poking her, to make sure she was real. Her hair was still in its mercilessly tight bun, but a few stray hairs had become free. “I see you’ve passed on your title to your ship. Looks like the Wraith is a beaut no matter what.”

Inej laughed, just like he knew she would. “You flatter me too much.”

“Never enough.”

She placed a head on his shoulder and warmth bloomed in his chest. Theirs was a friendship formed in the hottest fires, and nothing could undo that for him. “So pirate queen, how’s life on the high seas treating you?”

“Honestly?” She lowered her voice. “It was really difficult at first. I had no idea what I was doing. But then I remembered that wouldn’t stop Kaz. So I hired Zakhir, who helped put together a crew.”

“Zakhir is the one over there, right?” Jesper pointed at the man, who was currently sitting next to Atiena, and clearly trying to woo her. The Zemeni woman looked unimpressed. Typical Atiena. “I hope he knows she’s a lost cause.”

“I don’t think that would make a difference,” Inej said. “But he’s an unmatched navigational expert with no interest in leading.”

“How does it feel, no longer clinging in the shadows?” He asked.

“I like to be in the sun,” she replied. “The shadows were holding me back.”

“It’s what you deserve,” Jesper affirmed. “Where are we headed to, Captain?”

“Straight to West Ravka,” she said. “Home.”

Jesper smiled, remembering when she was reunited with her parents. “Does that mean I get to see the incomparable Mr. and Mrs. Ghafa again?” They had both looked exactly like her, in different ways. Her mother’s face shape, her father’s nose. “Is she going to cook for me again?”

“I forgot about that!” Inej laughed. “That was the best meal ever.”

“I think about it all the time,” Jesper said with a wistful sigh. “What was that little savory pastry?”

“Samosa?”

“Yes! I ate about five. I still dream about it.”

“I’ll ask her to make you extra,” she said. Then, she wrapped her arms around him again. “Oh Jesper I’ve missed you. How’s Wylan?”

Jesper immediately sombered. It hit him again - no one else necessarily knew they weren’t together anymore. Except maybe whoever was in Ketterdam. “Well. He didn’t think it could work anymore,” he said. “He ended things.”

“Wylan did?” She said. “Jesper I’m so sorry. I haven’t talked to Kaz in a long time either.”

They both sat in silence. “We both deserve better,” he finally whispered.

Inej nodded. “We do. And we did. But you look happy and healthy,” she commented, raising a hand to his face. He let her tip his head around, examining him like a mum. “A little skinny. Have you been eating?”

Jesper smiled again. “I have a lot to catch you up on. I can’t now. But maybe when this is all over. Please come visit me in Ol’Umoyana. My Da won’t cook as good of food but I can. And Sefu. He’s a marvelous cook.”

“Sefu…” Inej tapped a finger on his chin. “Is that the handsome man who was vomiting all over my ship?”

He winced. “The one and only. And Atiena’s brother.”

“Is he a zowa too?”

Jesper shook his head. “No. His ability is being an incredibly kind and compassionate person. You two would get alone spectacularly. I’ll introduce you when his stomach is completely emptied.” 

Inej laughed again. Jesper was proud of himself. Here was someone from his old life, who seemed to accept him as he was, regardless of how he could help them. Inej’s friendship had always been unconditional and based on respect. And he was desperate to maintain that. If anything good could come out of Ketterdam, it was her. It wasn’t even himself. Ketterdam had damaged him in a way he couldn’t put into words still. But Inej? She took that ugliness and threw it back in the face of men who hurt her. 

Jesper watched as Sefu made it into the galley. He arched an eyebrow at Zakhir, who was still pestering Atiena, but she did have a small grin on her face. Sefu made an inquisitive gesture with his hands, and Atiena gave her brother a slight nod. He then went and helped himself to some water. 

“Sefu, I take it?” Inej asked.

“Yes.”

Inej was silent, looking at the boy and then back to Jesper. “Hmm.”

“Hmm what?”

“Hmm nothing, Fahey.” She gave him a slight shove. “I need to check in on some things, can we catch up later?”

Jesper nodded. “Of course. Thank you for your time, Captain Ghafa.” 

Inej shook her head, but smiled at him. Jesper’s food had gone cold but he still ate it. It was hearty, but not particularly appetizing considering what he had eaten in Nyota Heri. But he ate without complaint and then wandered over to where Sefu was picking at his food. “Hey,” he said.

Sefu gave a small smile. “Hi.”

“Are you feeling better?”

Sefu nodded. “I just needed some time to myself to kind of heal,” he said. “I’m a lot better now. Just emotionally exhausted.”

“Mind if I sit?” Jesper motioned.

Sefu looked up at Jesper, and he remembered how deep of a brown Sefu’s eyes were. “I would never mind.”

“Can Atiena help you a bit?” Jesper asked. “Settle you a bit?”

“I’ll have her do so before I go to bed tonight,” he replied. He sipped on water. “But I don’t know if I’m ready to eat yet.” 

They chatted about Ketterdam, Sefu asking him a variety of questions. His skin was warm and deep again, and he asked about the food, the weather, the people, and what Jesper’s favorite shops were. Sefu never asked about friends, or what Jesper did as a part of the Dregs. Instead he asked about Zemeni culture in Ketterdam and where Jesper liked to eat during his free time. 

Wylan had never asked him those questions. He asked superficial questions about Jesper’s upbringing, and they’d had touching conversations about their parents. But Sefu was interested in all aspects. In how multifaceted Jesper was as a person. And they were talking well after everyone left, eventually discussing travel, Sefu’s favorite places were in Nyota Heri, his favorite cities. 

“You’ve been all over,” Sefu commented. “It’s amazing. Kerry was my first international trip in many many years.”

“Well I’ve never been to West Ravka,” Jesper said. “Do you know why they call it West Ravka?”

Sefu perked up. “I do.” Jesper knew that he would - Sefu was a history buff. An academic man. “In Nyota Heri texts it’s actually labeled as unceded Suli Territory. Similar to the Stolen Lands of southern Nyota Heri. For centuries the Abomination kept Ravka landlocked, and Suli people kind of did their own thing on the coast. Now that it’s all reunited there’s political strife between the West and Eastern parts. It’s been causing issues for the current Tsar.”

Jesper chewed on that. “Interesting.”

Sefu shrugged. “I’m excited to see it. You know how rare it is for outsiders like ourselves to see Suli culture up close? I don’t blame them - slavers are trying to kidnap their girls.”

His stomach turned as he thought about Inej. But she didn’t want to be defined by that horrible year in her life, so he wouldn’t do that to her. “Sounds like Fjerda isn’t much better,” he replied, thinking about what Leoni had shared about their mission. “I don’t understand why they don’t see us as human.”

Sefu sighed. “Somewhere along the way they lost their compassion.” Sefu looked down, and Jesper noticed his hair was still in the loose braid he’d tied it in earlier. “Do you want to head back to the sleeping quarters?”


	19. The Storm

Leoni spent her time on the ship talking to anyone who would talk back to her. Adrik was spending time with the squallers on the ship, learning new techniques. Leoni spent her days keeping up to date on her forgery skills, imitating the handwriting of different crew members as she asked them about life on the boat. She admired the henna work of Suli on board, and they exchanged different techniques for dyeing darker skin and hair. 

As she walked out of the sleeping cabin she shared with other crew members, she ran into Atiena. She was talking to Zakhir, rolling her eyes but there was a smile on her face. Atiena turned to see Leoni, and her smile became larger. “Leoni! Have you had a chance to chat with Zakhir?”

“Briefly,” Leoni said. The man was attractive in a weathered sort of way, and had the face of a trickster. “Nice to meet you.”

“So many beautiful women on this ship,” he shook his head. “Some Fjerdans believe it’s bad luck to have women on a ship. I’m inclined to agree -” he held a finger up as Atiena went to respond, “Because it is completely distracting. How am I supposed to look at the stars when your faces are in front of me?”

The Zemeni women both groaned and he laughed. But he reached forward and kissed Leoni’s hands. “Don’t be jealous Atiena - you must agree Leoni here has an exquisite face.” 

“I’m engaged,” Leoni said with a chuckle, holding up her left hand. “I love him so much I’ve been engaged to him three times.”

“There’s a story there,” he said. “But I’ll have to ask later. My fearless captain needs me.”

As he walked off, Leoni looked between Atiena and Zakhir. “Are you two…?”

“Saints no,” she said. “But he’s not too bad to look at is he?”

Leoni smiled before excusing herself to go look around the ship some more. Keao was standing towards the bow of the ship, dancing to music Leoni couldn’t hear. She watched the woman curiously before Keao opened a brown eye. “Hello Leoni,” she said. Where the power of Atiena was overwhelming, Keao made her feel calm. 

“I didn’t mean to stare,” she apologized. “I’m just curious.”

“No fault in that. The ocean is different here so I’m getting used to it,” she said. Her back was kept straight as she moved, sometimes in circles or half-moons, hands outstretched. “It is angrier than the seas in I’a Nui, and darker.”

“How do you mean?” she asked. It was then that Leoni realized she was using her zowa gifts - moving in time with the waves and diminishing them around the ship. In Ravka Tidemakers moved to fight - it was direct. This was much more soothing. 

“The ocean connects everything and water is lifeblood. But it isn’t the same in everyone and everything. Kilo Hoku don’t separate the disciplines like Grisha or Zowa,” she said, her movements constant. “Because it all comes back to water.”

“That makes sense,” Leoni commented. “I think. What about fire and heat?” she asked.

“Lava - which runs into the water and creates the islands we live on. It’s not so difficult. There’s no reason to make things more difficult than they need to be,” she laughed. “If you come here I can show you some of what we do.”

Leoni eagerly jumped up. Keao tapped her knees so they would bend, and they were more or less the same height. Every motion had a meaning - the ocean, the moon, the sun, all in tandem. Leoni knew she wasn’t doing very good, but it was still fun for her. 

“You aren’t gifted with the ability to affect the water itself,” Keao said, her voice melodious. “You are what they call  _ bahandi _ . So you need to feel inside the water. To all the small things that live and exist in it.”

She tried to feel it. The motions were different than what she learned in Nyota Heri, and a world apart from what she learned in Ravka. But she screwed her face in concentration. It was there - not all liquid. The sediment that floated around. That made her fingers itch and she could pull at it. It was similar to the poison she pulled out of the water in Fjerda. 

“Good,” Keao said. “Now use it to move the water around. It is about redirecting the flow instead of trying to move it. It is water after all, it was never meant to be told what to do.” 

She thought about the quote she learned in Ravka.  _ Are we not all things? _ Everything that existed was a thing. And if she could pull apart the nonliving things, and tailors could pull apart the living skin and cells of things, who was to say you couldn’t pull apart water? The very fabric that made zowa and otkatzs’ya alike?

That was it.

That was how they could find out what happened to the girls. 

It took everything in her not to be rude, to finish her lesson with Keao. It was meditative and Leoni knew what she needed to do going forward - but there was no lab here on the ship. She wouldn’t be near a lab for at least a month. 

“You’re doing very well Leoni,” Keao said. “You may be one of my finest students.” 

“Thank you,” she said, giving her a Nui’ian bow. “How did you learn all this?”

“Some of it was taught to me by other māhūwahine,” she replied. “Most of it I learned by listening and watching.”

“Māhūwahine?” she asked. 

“When I was young, my parents thought I was a boy. But I wasn’t. I am māhūwahine - a different kind of woman. To Nui’ians that means a close connection to the world around you.”

Leoni nodded. That made sense. “Thank you, Keao. You’ve helped me so much.”

“I like you,” she said candidly. “And I think this summit will solidify the friendship between our nations, and protect us from the likes of the Kerch and Ravka.”

She mulled over the lesson for the rest of the day, practicing the stances and footwork Keao had shown her, seeing if it made a difference. Leoni found she was able to manipulate larger particles easier - her specialty up until now had been the smallest. Molecular. It was something that had infuriated David Kostyk as her tutor - she spent a long time on minute details. It was why Adrik’s arm had taken her so long, but why she was an excellent forger.

When Adrik returned from his own lesson with the squallers, his hair was tousled from the wind and his face reddened. But he looked hale and healthy. “These Suli squallers are geniuses,” he said, sitting down on his hammock. “I don’t understand why we didn’t have more in the Little Palace.”

“You know why,” she replied. 

Adrik considered this before nodding. “You’re right. Morozova and the monarchy really screwed everything up, didn’t he?”

“Adrik, I think I know how to help the girls back home.”

He shot up, balancing himself carefully so the hammock didn’t flip him over. “What?”

Leoni detailed her idea, and an uncharacteristic grin spread over Adrik’s face. “Leoni,  _ solnyshko _ . You’re a genius.”

* * * * *

It seemed the sea was trying to warn them from something - Leoni didn’t know what, but a great storm was unleashed on them as they passed through an inlet of jagged rocks near the northern shore of West Ravka. Brigid stood on the deck looking over the water, her eyes narrowed. “There’s not much I can do about this one,” she declared, wrapping her shawl tight around her. Leoni stared at the waves in the distance as they grew larger. 

Keao looked on the horizon. “I think we will be fine,” she said. “After all, there are many of us. The ocean is vast, but we only need to move a small part of it.” She smiled at Leoni, who was not quite as sure. She had never seen anything like it - after all, she had only crossed the True Sea twice before. Each time had been clear, fast sailing on Zemeni ships, with zowa leading the charge. It was hard not to doubt the strength of the tiny Suli captain that lead everyone around her. 

The sky was a hideous green-gray, and bolts of lightning were striking the water. Inej stood at the helm, shouting over the sudden onslaught of cold rain. Adrik climbed up to the crows nest with another squaller, keeping an eye on the lightning strikes. There were some storms easily contained by zowas - this was not one of them.

The raw power in front of her was intimidating and she was rooted to the spot. She was one woman - even if she was zowa - against the might of nature. Going against nature had a very specific word in Ravkan.  _ Merzost _ . Leoni had studied about the horrible things that happened to zowa when they used it. About the way it poisoned the person, that made them an abomination. Like the Darkling. 

The waves reached up, higher than the ship and higher than a building in Ol’Umoyana. What could this motley crew do against something like that? How could they stop it and come out in one piece? The tightness in her chest returned, and this time Sefu wasn’t around to help. He was running around, helping tie crew members to the railing. There was too much noise, there was too much everything around her.

One of the larger crew members that Leoni didn’t recognize took the wheel, fastening it in place. “Leoni!” Keao shouted at her. “I need your help.” The urgency snapped Leoni out of it, even if the tightness lodged itself.

She directed Leoni towards the front with her, on either side of the ship. She showed Leoni the motion to make to clear the sediment in the water that had stirred from the depths and help guide the water. Keao moved her body in strong, sweeping motions to calm the water around the ship just as lightning struck. 

Leoni lost focus again as Adrik raised his hand to the painfully bright bolt, and redirected it harmlessly into the ocean besides him. There was a hard set to his jaw and she smiled. He would be fine. They were soldiers again - following orders, making sure everyone made it out alive.  _ We can do this, _ she told herself. Adrenaline overcame her anxiety.

Brigid sang to the heavens and the rain subsided to a light drizzle, but the waves still crashed, drawing the ship up to a large wave. Her song was strong, yet still barely audible against the waves breaking on the ship. Leoni wished she was tied down like the non-zowa, so instead she manipulated the wood of the ship to fold over her feet, keeping her rooted. The wave was bigger than anything she had ever seen, with black endless water. 

The ship was vertical before the wave crashed into them, the water knocking the breath out of Leoni. It was like being hit by a brick wall and she gasped for air. Keao was shouting something at her, but her ears were still rushing from the assault. She was completely drenched, eyes blurry, the cold burying itself down into her bones. 

They couldn’t fight this. But Keao was still yelling at her and making a round motion with her arms.

_ Redirection _ . Leoni could never win against a storm. With the help of Keao, the squallers, and other zowa, they maneuvered the storm, Brigid keeping the rain from blocking their visibility. Leoni understood now why Keao and Nui’ians saw the ocean and water as its own form of life. It was a terrible sight, and she knew if there hadn’t been zowa on the boat, they would be laying on the bottom with the fish.

The wood groaned and creaked as it shifted sideways at their movement, becoming steadier. This time when the wave crashed against them, it didn’t knock people on their feet. A couple of splinters freed from the bannister but Leoni was able to reach out as a  _ bahandi _ and bring them back down to the deck. The crew was safe. 

It felt like hours when Leoni saw a ray of hope. She squinted when they made it through to the sunshine again, the coast of West Ravka in the distance. She had crossed the true sea, and was near a nation that wanted her dead. Leoni released her feet from the floorboards and stared at the distant strip of land. 

Adrik appeared by her side, moving warm air around her to try and dry her hair. “You know me so well,” she chuckled, her face warm from the use of zowa magic. Adrik also looked flushed and bright-eyed. Her arms felt like dead weight and her shoulders ached, but they were safe. 

“Of course.” He glanced at the coast. “I honestly didn’t think I would be returning home in my lifetime.”

“Really?”

“I said I would go wherever you went, right? If you weren’t going back to Ravka, I wouldn’t.” He looked back at her. “But it’s just West Ravka, before we head to Ketterdam.” 

Leoni nodded. “Under Suli sovereignty we should be fine. Apparently someone here is well connected, if they are certain that Nikolai won’t find out.” She reached forward and hugged him tight, as he worked his hand up and down her braids.

“Something tells me Nikolai has more pressing concerns,” Adrik responded drily. “Such as a country that’s falling apart in front of his feet.” That was true. Why would he care about her and Adrik? Traitors or not, the summit was going to change the face of world politics for generations. “Are you ready?” He asked her with a soft nudge.

Leoni nodded. 


	20. Unceded Suli Territory

Jesper had never been more happy to be on solid ground. Was this how Sefu felt all the time? When he leapt off of the boat onto the porch, he got down to his knees and kissed it. Sefu was clutching his stomach but already looked better. Sefu leaned down and held a hand out for Jesper to grasp. They’d spent almost every moment on the ship together - talking mostly, or Jesper listening to Sefu read some stories. He didn’t have the dramatization of Atiena but his voice was soothing. Maybe he’d crawled into a hamper with Sefu at one point but they were just being close.

Either way he was glad to take the other boy’s hand and saw the group of Suli people waiting for them. They were dressed comfortably and simply, which Jesper could appreciate considering the pretentiousness of Kerch upperclass. 

Zakhir, who had been speaking to Atiena previously, walked up front with Inej. “Papa Chief, Papa Healer,” he cried out and gave an older couple up front a big hug. “Your wayward son has returned from the seas.”

His fathers fussed over him in a way that reminded Jesper of Colm. The man he now knew was the chief walked up to the Council Elders and introduced himself. Jesper walked up to the Ghafas, who were hugging Inej and another Suli girl. Mrs. Ghafa’s eyes lit up when she saw him. “Jesper? Look at you!” 

Despite the fact she was as small as Inej, she pulled Jesper into a bone-crushing hug. “I was just telling Inej and Elia that we were scared about the storm. But if I had known Jesper Fahey was with her,” she reached up and pinched his cheek. “I would have worried less. You must be getting some sun.”

“Yes Mrs. Ghafa,” she said with a smile. “I moved back to Novyi Zem.”

“Good for you,” she clucked. “You must come stay in our caravan. I will cook all the foods you ate in Ketterdam.” 

Jesper smiled. “I would love that.”

Mrs. Ghafa leaned over. “And invite your friend.”

Jesper turned around and saw Sefu hanging back, pretending to be interested in a bit of dirt on the sidewalk. Jesper smiled. “Sure. You’ll love him.”

He went back over him. “We have a date tonight. The Ghafas are making us dinner. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”

“I could never regret a date with you,” Sefu smiled. “And Suli food is great. 

Jesper felt heat rise to his face. “Can’t be any worse than whatever Atiena has going on with Zakhir.” They both looked to see Zakhir putting a hand on Atiena’s waist and introducing her to his fathers. She threw her head back in a laughter and moved his hand off, but still stayed close. “There’s something about her people really can’t ignore is there?”

“It’s always been that way. Between being a zowa and her magnetism, we always knew Atiena was destined for greatness. And a whole swarm of admirers.”

Jesper nodded. “Kaz -”

“Bird boy?”

“Bird boy, yes. He was like that. He wasn’t kind like Atiena, or inspiring. But people were always drawn to him.” Jesper certainly had been. And Wylan, Nina, Inej. Hell, even Matthias had a soft spot for Kaz before he died. 

“It can be a lot in that presence,” Sefu said softly. “But, she is a wonderful sister and I know she would go to the ends of the earth for me.” 

And there was the difference - Atiena actually liked to do stuff for people. Jesper knew he was where he needed to be.

The Suli community they were staying with held a dinner for the Zemenis that night. It was less a state dinner and more a family affair, with delicious food and music, and chatting like they were old friends instead of near-strangers. Jesper sat with Sefu, Inej, and a crewmember of her’s named Elia. The two girls whispered to each other every so often, and Jesper didn’t miss the furtive glances. But if Inej wanted to talk to him about it, she would.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the Ghafas brought the four of them into the space by their caravan. It was beautifully decorated with tables outside, delicate lights, and soft palettes inside with heavy quilts that smelled like a home. Not his home, but Jesper could feel the love. They barely fit onto the beds but it was still exponentially better than the hammocks on the ship. 

Jesper could hear the bunk beneath him shifting in the night. He wondered what Sefu was thinking about. What he was dreaming of. He drifted off to sleep with thoughts of the other boy on his mind.

In the morning, they washed up in a nearby river, and Jesper was able to get a better look at the Suli community. It was a gorgeous multi-colored city made up of caravans, tarps, stalls, and friendly faces. A city that could be picked up and relocated. From what he remembered Inej telling him, it was a safety defense against the Ravkans and other pirates who tried to chase them off their own land. It was starting to become a problem again as the Tsar demanded hold on the Western territories. 

He saw Atiena leaving another homestead, followed shortly by a  _ very _ happy Zakhir. She noticed Jesper grinning and stormed over to him, pointing an accusatory finger. “If you say anything at all I’ll sew your lips shut.”

“No need for threats,” he chuckled. “No judgments from me.”

Atiena sniffed and scrunched her nose up in the Kaboyonga style before smiling at him. “Thanks Jes. No judgments from me either.”

“What is that supposed to mean? You’re the one that just had her way with the son of the Suli chief.”

“Hey now. I’ve been so busy trying to save Nyota Heri that I forgot to have a little fun.” She patted her hair. “You could stand to do the same.”

“I have no idea what you mean,” he said drily. She laughed and walked back to her assigned tent. Zakhir stretched, shirtless with a grin that could be seen from the sun. Atiena could have done a lot worse, he thought. 

The river that wound its way through was cold, but he still leaned down and ducked his face into the water. The chill rushing around him made him focus. When he finally surfaced for air he gasped, reaching for his coin.  _ Gold. Silver. Gold. Silver. _ The change was effortless - his new zowa abilities were now second nature to him, and felt more natural than the original had. After all, he had barely trained as a  _ nabaluki _ before taking the parem.

The talisman made of his mom’s bones thrummed at his wrist. He felt far from home but at least his mother was with him always. Brigid was charming their hosts with little songs that created a random cloud or ray of sunshine. Apparently the Suli had stories passed down where their ancestors had interacted with the merrow, before the Kingdom of the Sildroher vanished. 

Jesper found himself outside the circle of Zemeni and Suli people who were passing around cured meats and fruits for breakfast. They were cleaning the ship and making sure the integrity of the ship was maintained following the storm. Inej was by the dock shouting up at her crew. Leoni and Adrik were laying by the river, whispering to each other. They seemed so completely in love. Everyone was sharing drinks and stories.

Mrs. Ghafa immediately found him and fussed over him, offering him another cushion to sit on. Jesper tried to pretend like it was a bother but he liked being fussed over by a mother. It reminded him of his mom wrapping him in a blanket before sitting out on the porch in the winter air. But to her credit, West Ravka was  _ cold _ . He didn’t imagine it was that much colder than Ketterdam, but he had adapted to Nyota Heri completely. 

Inej joined him soon after, holding two mugs of tea. She gave him one and then leaned against him. “It’s nice isn’t it?”

“Two years ago I never thought I would be here,” he said. “Even a year ago, I thought now I would just be lounging around in the Van Eck mansion.”

“Is this better or worse?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. 

“Oh much better,” he said. “I can’t believe I’m here at a Suli camp. With your parents. I work for the  _ government  _ Inej.”

“You’re right, that’s hard to imagine. But the Zemeni government seems pretty different than the Council of Tides,” she commented. Jesper was inclined to agree. The Kerch worshipped the kruge, the god of commerce Ghezen. But he didn’t even think it was a real god, to him. It was the idea of productivity and profit to make them seem less shallow than they were. Living as an adult in Ol’Umoyana reminded him that he didn’t have to be so selfish. He wasn’t Kerch. He was Zemeni and Kaelish.

Jesper wrapped his arm around Inej and they listened to the older people laugh and talk. Their elders. He flipped the coin in his hand and realized that he didn’t have much to say. He was happy and content and he was in the moment. The future was uncertain but it didn’t bother him when he had a good old friend, and good new friends with him.

“So what’s the story with Zakhir?” He finally asked Inej during a lull in conversation.

“He’s the son of the Chief and a healer. His fathers are pretty important, and he is a genius when it comes to maps and the stars. Apparently he went to university in Os Alta and everything,” she said. “He’s also insufferable whenever he sees a pretty woman.” Jesper laughed and Inej grinned. “But he’s a great navigation master. You could drop him in the middle of the ocean on driftwood and he could find the nearest settlement. He’s also attending the Summit with his father.”

“Will he have anything to contribute?”

Inej shrugged. “I don’t care about that, as long as we can protect the girls from slavers.”

“Have you talked with Leoni?” Jesper asked. Inej shook her head. “She interrupted some traffickers in Fjerda. I think you two would get along. She also knows Nina of all people.”

“Nina?” Inej’s mouth dropped. “Really?”

“Apparently she’s blonde now.”

Inej grimaced. “That sounds terrible.”

They both laughed, and moved on to lighter subjects. Jesper wanted to hear adventures from the high seas and more about her crewmates. 

Jesper spent the day helping out around the camp. The Suli didn’t have many Fabrikators, so he was more than happy to do some quick zowa work fixing any warped materials. They made him feel good about his gift, and although the parem had altered him, things were easier. It took barely any effort to completely transform solid pieces of metal or wood. 

Leoni was sitting cross-legged attending to some vegetables in a garden. Her face was deep in concentration, but she still smiled when he approached. “Jesper! I’m just making sure there aren’t any residual chemicals or bugs wandering around here,” she said. 

“I don’t know how you do all that,” he confessed, sitting next to her. “It’s so small. I’m only good at larger things. Bars, structures.” He tilted his head. “Bullets are probably the smallest.”

“Hey bullets are difficult because of how they move,” she commented. “Here,” she directed his hand over to a large cabbage. “You just have to feel for organic matter versus inorganic. Living versus unliving. Being able to discern the two is the key, from there you can do almost anything.”

“How do I do that?” he asked. It all just felt like mass to him. “I don’t have the best attention to detail.”

“Things that live are constantly changing,” she coached. “Always moving, always thinking.”  _ That _ Jesper was able to understand. Like his own brain. “So you need to see what’s static instead, just being pushed around by everything else. Once you understand that, you can move on to say, separating poison from water or separating inorganic materials from each other.” 

Jesper breathed in and out, trying to sense the small particles. It was hard. He felt the cabbage head, and then the leaves. But the veins inside were more difficult - what carried the water and acted out photosynthesis? How did he even know the word photosynthesis? Jesper was able to feel something, but ultimately he lost focus and one of the chunks of cabbage began to wave back and forth comically.

“Hey not bad!” Leoni said, ever the optimist. “It’s difficult to get used to, don’t worry. We can keep working on it if you like. It’s just a different way of seeing things.”

Jesper smiled. “Thank you Leoni. I’ll practice.” He gave her a hug, and then noticed her fiance looking at him warily. “He still doesn’t like me, does he.”

“You dusted his arm Jesper,” Leoni said apologetically. “He’ll eventually get over it. You know those Ravkans, they have a long memory and a general culture of skepticism.”

“Nina was the only Ravkan I’ve ever been close to,” he said. “And last you told me, she wasn’t on her best behavior.” Not that Nina generally had good behavior but Leoni and Adrik seemed to get the brunt of it. “But it seems like Matthias’s death changed her.”

Leoni shrugged. Jesper knew his mom would have liked her if she were still alive. And she would be happy to see the two of them getting along. “What’s Adrik like?”

She expertly drew some strange-looking water from the vegetables in front of her, drawing them into a bucket nearby. “How? Like as a boyfriend? A person? A lover?” She let out a giggle that made Jesper grin. 

“I just. I used to date this guy in Ketterdam. He broke up with me recently.” A wave of malaise came over Jesper again. “But it wasn’t easy. I don’t think he wanted to learn about Nyota Heri very much. Not like how I had to assimilate into Kerch culture to be accepted.”

“That’s hard Jesper,” she dug her fingers into the earth. “Adrik is weird. I’ve dated my share of Ravkans when I was studying in the Little Palace. Boys, girls, something else, they don’t really get our culture at first. It’s different.” She raised her hands again, drawing more from the soil. “It’s mineral deposits in the ground,” she explained. “I’m just moving it around for them. Anyway,” she put it into another bucket, “He doesn’t get it all the time and we’ve had our arguments, but he knows the language and he doesn’t take himself too seriously.”

Jesper glanced over to where the blonde man was glaring at him. “Really?”

“Well. He’s serious. But he knows he’s going to make mistakes, and I lived in Ravka for awhile. He’s putting his time in, and he knows he probably can’t ever go home either. He asks me a lot of questions about Ol’Umoyana and the country. Reads a lot. I’m not going to say it’s the easiest when we’re so different, but he loves me a lot.” A sheepish smile came over her face. “He can finally eat things with some spice. In Ravka they don’t even use paprika. You need to make sure to come to our wedding.” She rocked back, sitting on her knees and wiping sweat off her forehead.

“I’d love to,” he said, and he meant it. 

Leoni motioned the bone talisman on his wrist. “Aditi?” she asked. Jesper nodded and her eyes became shiny. “I knew she would find you again.”

“Do you have a talisman?” he asked. The only jewelry he noticed her wearing was her engagement ring, a pretty coral thing with a gold band.

“I don’t. My parents died on the Ravkan borders, I’m not sure they could even find me if they wanted to.” She frowned. “At any rate, they never found me when I was in Os Alta. It’s not meant to be for everyone, Jesper. I’m doing fine for myself.”

They sat in companionable silence, Jesper watching until Leoni finished her patch of earth. “Great!” she said, clapping her hands together. “I’m going to go wash up. I’ll see you later, Jes.”

* * * * *

Early the next morning, they boarded the reinforced ship. It was time to go to Ketterdam. Sefu already stationed himself on a hammock to help with the seasickness, and he wasn’t as gray as the first leg of the journey. It was only a day’s journey to the Fifth Harbour, and anxiety built up in Jesper’s stomach. What could possibly waiting for him in Ketterdam?

As if sensing his discomfort, Inej walked up to him. “I don’t go back very often either,” she said. “It’s hard. It’s like there’s nothing left to say.”

“I have too many words to say,” Jesper replied. “When I left, I honestly thought I would visit Da for a few months and then come back to live on Geldstraat.” How quickly things had changed for him. He liked his new friends better. He liked the Kaboyongas, the weather, the other members of the youth council, and the food. “You know I have a horse back home?” Jesper said.

“You have a horse?” Inej said.


	21. Ketterdam

Ketterdam was unchanged. At least, that’s how it felt to Jesper as they docked in Fifth Harbour. Inej was nowhere to be found, so instead Jesper found himself sitting in the cramped hammock with Sefu, trying to assuage his worries and fears. The man had a calming presence and Jesper needed that more than ever. 

The gray clouds over the city were an unyielding thick mass, and it turned the water murky as well.  _ All the better to hide the corpses, _ he thought. Then he turned his attention back to Sefu, who had an arm wrapped around his shoulder, a book in his other hand. “Watch your six,” he said softly. “Your height and build will intimidate some people but challenge others.”

Sefu nodded. “Don’t worry about me Jes,” he said with a smile. “We’ll be fine. Now come on, I think Atiena wants us to meet with her before we disembark.”

It was less a meeting, and more Atiena telling them to look sharp. “I won’t have my delegation looking like a mess out there,” she ordered. “Look clean, look flashy and intimidating. I know that will entice some onlookers but pay them no mind, we are all capable Zemenis.” She grinned, but Jesper recognized that look. It was an invitation to try her and see what happened. Atiena was ready for a confrontation.

But as Jesper looked at the Zemenis, he had to admit she was right. Against the city full of neutrals and brown and gray, the bright orange, purple, blue, and golds made them stand out like 3D models on a paper background. They looked like mythical creatures. Even the Komedie Brute didn’t have anything on them.

The clothes were thicker than what any Kerch person would wear at the time, but even Jesper had to agree the air had an uncharacteristic bite to it. He flipped up the hood on his Zemeni cloak. It was almost blanket-like with beautiful geometric patterns, the main cloth being a vibrant green color. His madiba shirt was a simple gold with purple thread, and plain brown pants. 

They used to say his clothes clashed in Ketterdam, but that was because they didn’t understand Zemeni color palettes. The gorgeous brown-skinned people around him were all decked in saturated, beautiful colors. They were never meant to fit in with plain black suits and trench coats.

Sefu had his hair piled high on his head like at the Festival and the cloak made his already broad shoulders look massive. Jesper was impressed. 

“The sailors are going to help us with our luggage,” Atiena announced. Jesper could have sworn she smiled at Zakhir, who was situated with the crew members making sure the ship was secure. “So we may as well go to our accommodations, then we will be able to review our agenda for the stay in Ketterdam.” She glanced over at Jesper. “I suppose you’ll also have some free time. Don’t get robbed, you know how these classless people are in this city.”

Jesper had to stifle his chuckle, even as his feet hit the brick pathways of the streets. It was disorienting. Ketterdam was still the same but he had changed. Every fiber of his being had undergone some sort of transformation. While it was still familiar, it was new. He noticed things he never did before. He saw the difference in how people dressed - wealth disparity before even leaving the docks.

He helmed the group as they headed to the district that housed Ambassadors. It wasn’t far from Geldstraat. Where Wylan lived. Where he lived up until a year ago. Jesper swallowed thickly as he found a streetcar that would take them the rest of the way. The Kerch looked startled as they saw the Zemenis. Jesper noticed the two groups even  _ smelled _ different. The absence of shea and cocoa and coconut in the air. No sizzling meats from stalls, no fragrant jurda on the trade winds. 

The Kerch worshipped Ghezen and the air burned at his nostrils. It was heavy with the pollution, the industrious Kerch unleashing smoke into the air where the Zemenis preferred steam. He didn’t see nearly as much greenery as he did at home, that was a stark contrast to the pale blue sky. 

It took him a moment to get used to the harsh consonants of Kerch ringing in his ear. A few of the party knew and were fluent enough in Kerch. Atiena knew some and Jesper saw her look around curiously. To her side Leoni whispered in Adrik’s ear and pointed out the different buildings.

Jesper cleared his throat. Adrik immediately lowered his eyebrows, his mouth set in a sullen frown. He looked away and at Leoni, who had a bright smile that would likely get her in trouble in Ketterdam.  _ No, _ he corrected himself. Leoni had survived in Fjerda of all places, in backwater oppressive towns. She could navigate far better than he. 

“The houses. They’re narrow aren’t they?”

Leoni nodded vigorously. “Yes! I was just mentioning that to Adrik. How do people live in them?”

Jesper smiled back at her. Adrik said nothing but Jesper saw his eyes peak in curiosity. “Well Leoni,” Jesper said, “When they were founding the city they weren’t supposed to take up too much space on the canals.”

“But everything is a canal,” Leoni said.

“You’re right. So the houses all have to be narrow, but they are long. The buildings go the length of a block.” He pointed out some of them. “But of course if you have enough money that doesn’t really matter, and they would build multiple houses but effectively make them one large home with walls.”  _ Like the Van Eck mansion, _ he thought. 

“They’re awfully crooked,” Leoni commented. “The ground is uneven and they lean forward.”

“That’s on purpose,” Jesper said. He pointed out the pulleys on top of each roof. “If you have big furniture they can’t fit in the stairs, which are very narrow. Hold the railing, by the way.” Leoni chuckled and warmth spread in Jesper’s chest. “So they have to have the house lean forward a bit, or the furniture they lift up hits the front.”

“That’s fascinating,” Leoni said breathlessly. He could see her large brown eyes studying the feats. 

Adrik cleared his throat this time and Jesper straightened up, wanting to try to make Leoni’s fiance hate him less. “So Jesper,” he started. “Why are the houses crooked?” He asked. 

“The city is sinking, all the time,” Jesper answered. He was impressed by Adrik’s Zemeni. He had a strong Ravkan accent but his enunciation and cadence was immaculate. “The Council of Tides runs everything but there’s only so much a zowa can do about gravity.”

“Fair,” Adrik responded. Maybe he was being optimistic, but Jesper could’ve sworn that Adrik relaxed a little bit. 

Sefu nudged Jesper, the streetcar rattling along. “You’re really intelligent,” he said. “You know a lot about Kerch.”

Jesper felt heat rushing to his face. “I lived here, I guess I picked some stuff up along the way.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Sefu said with a shake of his head. “It’s not fair to yourself.”

Jesper didn’t know what to say to that, so he just smiled, reaching over to give Sefu a squeeze of his hand. “Thank you.”

Their hotel was in a beautiful old part of the ambassador’s district, where it was clear important people stayed.  _ You’re one of those important people now, _ Jesper thought to himself.  _ They’re making sure everything goes well for you _ . Pride filled him. Not a criminal, not a murderer. Jesper Fahey-Hilli, government translator and advocate for zowa. He had friends in high places, not just the low ones. 

It didn’t escape Jesper’s notice that they were watched - he recognized some faces on the streets, and the expressions as they saw Jesper rolling into town with diplomats and scholars. People that would tell their people, and then eventually it would get back to Kaz. Everything always got back to Kaz if it came through Ketterdam. 

_ It doesn’t matter,  _ Jesper realized. Of course Kaz knew he was back in the city. He hadn’t kept it a secret. But Jesper didn’t need to get anything approved through him. He was important - and now everyone knew it. 

Jesper was surprised at how anxious he was, as he fell into the soft bed. Sefu was sharing the room with him, and the beds were too far away and too close together. Atiena had doled out the room assignments, and when asked why she was sleeping in a room by herself instead of sharing with Sefu, she simply answered “I made the arrangements.”

Everything from the architecture to the choice of fabric seemed off to Jesper now. The window only opened to the noisy street below, not the sound of music in Ol’Umoyana, or the waves crashing against the cliffs by the farm. 

Sefu was on the balcony of their room, his eyes full of wonder as the lamps came alive. “It’s quite beautiful,” he said. “In its own way. But it seems lonely.” Sefu looked at him. “Were you lonely here?”

Jesper gave a half-hearted shrug. “I think in a lot of ways.”

Sefu looked at the rows of narrow buildings, and the slanted rooftops.  _ Inej is probably running along them now,  _ he thought. “We should go out,” Sefu said. 

“What?”

Jesper smiled as Sefu nodded, tapping his hand against the railing. “We’re in Ketterdam. You’re the best tour guide I could have. I want you to show me your favorite places,” he said. “You once said Ketterdam was best at night.”

“Sefu, it’s also dangerous at night,” Jesper said. But it was infectious. The smile, the excitement. Brand new eyes on the city. “You need to bring a gun with you.”

“Fine,” Sefu said, waving Jesper away. “But you have to promise. Your favorite places.”

“Yes. I’m going to change then we can go out.”

* * * * *

For their night run, they changed into simpler clothes to fit in more. Jesper looked like he belonged, back in his suspenders and slacks. As he looked at Sefu and the way his skin glowed deep in the moonlight, Jesper knew he could never fit in. How could Sefu ever hope to belong with the murderers and thieves and selfish people of Ketterdam, when he was so kind and caring?

They passed their first gambling den barely a block away, and Jesper’s hand twitched. He’d forgotten his coin. He could practically hear the sound of cards hitting the table and dice rolling. Jesper swallowed thickly and turned towards the Zemeni District to start. The three blocks that made up the tiny neighborhood brought a flood of emotion with them.

“I spent a lot of my free time here,” he told Sefu. “This is where a lot of the immigrants lived. I came here every other Thursday morning to have my hair done. And I would eat here all the time. Inej would come with me a lot. The Suli district isn’t far from here too.”

“This is all you had of home?” Sefu asked, as he looked at a food stall that looked a lot like the one Sefu used to sell his kebabs. 

“This was all of home in this city.”

“Did you live far from here?”

Jesper instinctively looked in the direction of the Barrel. Of the Slat, where he knew Kaz probably was sitting on the highest floor in his stuffy over-warm office. Then back to where Geldstraat and the Van Eck mansion. “The city isn’t very big, everything is close to each other,” he said. “This country is so small compared to Nyota Heri anyway. But the Zemenis here were nice. Are nice. I was fifteen when I moved here on my own.”

“I can’t imagine being here by myself that young,” Sefu said. “Who was looking out for you?”

Jesper was taken aback by the question. “I looked out for myself.”

They sat down on a bench by one of the canals, the dark water depthless. “You needed more than that.”

“Well,” Jesper tried to laugh off. “I’ll take you to the University while we’re here too. You know I went here at the same time as the King of Ravka?”

“You’re joking.”

“Nope not at all. He was a terrible student.”

Sefu laughed and Jesper pointed at the different shops he loved. The bookstore, the only Zemeni clothing store run by an old grandma. Jesper noted the different posters asking for the Staadwatch to leave the Zemeni quarter. It seemed like a different life when Wylan had written him about the policing in the quarter since the relationship with Nyota Heri went to the wayside. He saw some Staadwatch members walking about, and discomfort settled in his stomach. 

“Let's go somewhere else now,” he said. “After we get some pastries.”

They grabbed some Kerch pastries and Zemeni delicacies from a nearby shop before walking through the Suli district. Many of the shops were closed this late at night but like Zemenis, they were congregating with families and friends and Ravkan, Suli, and Kerch language floated around them. 

“I don’t understand a damn thing,” Sefu said with a smile. “It’s kind of nice.”

“I agree,” Jesper said. “I don’t speak Ravkan, and I only know the bad words in Suli because I used to say them to Inej to make her mad.”

Jesper found himself recounting the good stuff about Ketterdam to Sefu. Most of it had to do with Inej, or some fun memories in the gang. His weekends by himself exploring. They stopped by the front steps of a museum dedicated to one of Kerch’s most famous painters, and sat there looking at the harbor in the distance. “Thank you Sefu,” he said. “I was really worried about coming back here. I was wrapped up in the bad stuff. But you helped me think of the stuff I loved. And when we leave, I’ll be able to take that with me.”

“So you’re definitely coming back to Ol’Umoyana?” Sefu asked. There was a small note in his voice. Hope.

“Definitely. I actually think I’ll move into the city proper now. My Da has lots of help around the farm and once we know that nobody is going to be trying to steal our jurda crops,” Jesper shrugged. “I don’t know. He has Brigid now too. I’m not going to say I understand what their whole friendship is like but he’s not alone. That’s what I was worried about.”

“That means you’ll be closer to me,” Sefu said. Then as an afterthought, “And Atiena. Both of us. You’ll be closer to both of us.” He cleared his throat and looked away, but Jesper smiled.

“Yeah maybe you could help me find a place. These government paychecks are comfortable, even if it’s not as much as your little inheritance going on.”

“Okay,” Sefu said, holding his hand up. “I’m not some rich Ravkan kid skipping class.”

“You could never.”

Jesper scoot closer to Sefu, and when the man put an arm around his shoulder he buried his head in the crook of his neck. He still smelled like home. Of aftershave and almond oil. Jesper’s lips were so close to his skin. He placed the smallest of kisses on Sefu’s even deep skin and he heard Sefu inhale sharply, fingers digging into Jesper’s shoulder. Did he really have that much control over him? He wanted to try more, to feel more. 

But as usual, good things weren’t meant to last for Jesper. A shadow-cloaked figure stepped out from an alleyway in front of them. There was a gun in his hand. “Hey lover boys,” the man said in over enunciated Kerch. “Give me all your cash and I’ll be on my way.”

Jesper rolled his eyes. “Move along and go bother some tourists outside the brothels,” he said in perfect Kerch. 

The man looked surprised for a moment, but then narrowed his eyes again. “Jes, let's just give him some cash to leave us alone,” Sefu whispered. “It’s not worth it.”

Jesper hated doing that - judging from the man he ran with the Black Tips.  _ That doesn’t even mean anything to you anymore, _ he scolded himself. But he relented and grabbed some kruge from his bag and tossed it at the man. 

“That’s it, pretty boy?” he asked. Then, he made the mistake of pointing a gun at Sefu. “Give me that nice looking bracelet on your wrist. Looks like what, elephant? That could fetch something.”

Any resignation immediately went away. He had the gall to threaten Sefu, who looked frightened, and now wanted the Talisman that held his mom. “Eat a dick, man. And tell the rest of the Black Tips to leave the Zemenis here alone.”

“That’s a filthy mouth,” the man said, and then pointed the gun at Jesper. Perfect. Jes had been in tricker situations and he was much better at his zowa skills now. He wasn’t going to be shot. 

The thought process became moot when there was a loud bang, and the man went down onto the steps. Sefu was there, wide-eyed, holding a gun. “Oh no,” he said. “Oh no,” he dropped the gun and Jesper reached forward to grab it, aiming it at the thief, who was loudly moaning and clutching the wound on the right side of his chest. The man was definitely going to bleed out. “Jesper I just killed that man.”

“What?” Jesper looked down at the thief. He was bleeding out for sure. “No, you just shot him.” Jesper aimed the gun at his head, Ketterdam instinct overtaking his Zemeni one. “There. I killed him.”

Sefu was slack-jawed. “Why did you do that?”

“Listen if he’s who I think he is, he makes money off of enslaving girls in the brothels. Now help me throw his body in the canal. It’ll be like it never happened.”

That seemed to make Sefu feel slightly better. “Like the slavers?”

“Yes, many of the Black Tips work with them. Now let's finish this before the Staadwatch gets here.”

The two of them rolled the body towards the canal and Jesper gave it a shove with his foot. The body hit the water with an unceremonious splash and began its journey to the harbor, where it would join the multitude of other corpses created that night. Jesper focused his zowa power like Leoni taught him, and condensed the blood on the pavement. 

Blood began to ink its way towards the canal as well, like some sort of living blob, until it too disappeared. Sefu’s mouth went slack. “But you’re not that kind of zowa.”

“Blood, ink, it’s practically the same thing,” Jesper said with a shrug. 

Sefu seemed agitated, running his hand through his beard. “I should have stopped him. I could have stopped him without shooting him but I froze. Stupid, Sefu,” he muttered, moving the heel of his palm to his face. “Atiena kept telling me I needed to work on my reflexes for emergencies and I didn’t.”

“Hey,” Jesper tucked the gun into his bag and reached out to hug Sefu. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. This city is dangerous and these people are ruthless. Guns are also unpredictable.”

“Not that. I shouldn’t have even grabbed the gun first.” Sefu hugged Jesper back. “Jesper, I’m like Atiena. Sort of. I’m a zowa.”

“What?” Jesper stepped back, keeping his hands on Jesper’s shoulders. “No you aren’t.”

“I am.”

Jesper felt himself calming down. His breathing slowed, his heart slowed. “Oh. You are. I should have realized. You’re a  _ umphulukisi _ are’t you?” Jesper thought back. “After the bombing. You were the first one there when I woke up from the explosion. I always feel better when I’m with you.”

“It’s not intentional,” Sefu said with a shake of his head. “I just. I want you to feel good. All the time.” He looked down. “I didn’t mean to lie to you or manipulate you.”

“It’s not that at all,” Jesper whispered. “I mean. I lived in secret ever since my mom died. Did I not seem like a safe person to tell?”

“No, Jes.” He grabbed Jesper’s hand and brushed a kiss on his knuckles. “I promise. You’re perfect. But when you grow up with a sister like Atiena, she’s the light that everyone follows. I don’t want to be compared to her. I had some private tutors but I wanted to go to regular school, I didn’t want to leave my parents for the West, past the savannah. That was scary to me. And I didn’t want to be in her shadow in that way. Does it make sense?”

Jesper nodded. “Yes.” He grabbed Sefu’s hand and let their fingers intertwine. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”

Back in the room, they got ready for bed in silence. Jesper had mixed emotions. He wanted to be mad at Sefu, but he couldn’t. At least Sefu’s secret didn’t come from a place of self-hate, of fear. The robber was already forgotten in his mind - for better or worse it wasn’t the first time Jesper had killed somebody. And he couldn’t promise it would be the last. Jesper would kill for people he loved, he knew that much.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asked Sefu. Gentle Sefu, who still had that pinched look between his eyes, his lips pressed tight together.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, and lay down on his own bed.

The space between them was so far. And despite how he felt, Sefu went out of his way to make sure Jesper was okay to. So he kicked off the blankets on top of him and walked over to the other bed. Sefu was silent as Jesper got under the covers, where Sefu’s body was radiating heat. He put his chest to Sefu’s back and wrapped his arm around his waist, Sefu grasping his hand tight. “Thank you Jes,” he whispered. 

Jesper smiled to himself and enjoyed their bodies pushed together in comfort, hoping he brought Sefu the security that Sefu brought to him.


	22. The New Saints

“It stinks,” Leoni complained. She was laying on her stomach, pillow under her head. Adrik was sitting up in the bed they shared, reading a newspaper. “This city. It smells like… I don’t know. Refuse?”

“I would hate to have my city sink into human waste, but not everyone can have the plumbing system of Ol’Umoyana.”

“Even Os Alta was better,” she sighed. But, she was determined to make the best of it. Leoni rolled over and slinked out of the bed, looking through her suitcase for clothes. “What do we have planned for today?”

“For us, nothing much. I know the Youth Council has things going on. We could explore if you wanted?”

Leoni nodded, choosing a simple short dress to bring into the wash room with her. At least the Kerch had a decent bath process, not as good as Fjerda and far less than Zemeni. She vaguely wondered if the Kerch had bath houses like the  _ banyas _ in Ravka. She did miss those. In Nyota Heri it was far too warm to have those, except in the dead of winter. “The sun rises so late and sets so early,” Leoni commented, looking outside. It was early, and the sky was still dark. Only in the southernmost tip of Nyota Heri did it have a similar effect.

When they finished getting ready, Leoni helped Adrik secure his mechanical arm. He tested it, rotating the socket. It was his simpler arm - it didn’t help his squalling as much as Leoni’s more advanced one, but this arm blended in, the outside dyed and painted to look eerily similar to Adrik’s other hand. 

“When you said you needed some fine hairs from my arm, I didn’t think it would be like this,” Adrik commented, raising the fake hand up. 

Leoni grinned. “Well. I figured a bald spot on your forearm would be worth seeing how realistic I could make this.” The hand had some hairs carefully added to the knuckles. “You know how I get when I get a new project.”

Adrik nodded. “You remind me of David when you do that.” Adrik paused, thinking. “I wonder if he’ll be here for the summit. I miss him.”

Leoni hated that she also missed David. By all means, she should hate him. But Leoni had only affection for the Fabrikator, who had taught her so much and encouraged her innovation. Who had been more excited to see her forging techniques than cared about her technically being an enemy of the Ravkan state. At sixteen, sitting in the workshops trying to annoy him into coaching and mentoring her had been a highlight of her time in the palace. And the most humanizing.

“I don’t know if the Triumvirate will be here. That’s above me.”

“I still don’t quite get why we’re here,” Adrik confessed.

Leoni shrugged as she put some gold clips into her twists and slightly tightened her engagement ring so no one tried to slip it off her hand. “I trust Atiena. And I believe that she has her reasons.” Leoni considered her luggage before reaching forward for her revolver and putting it into her bag. “Either way, let’s go explore.”

The two of them made their way up and down the Ambassador district, studying the different homes and businesses. They catered to all over the world, but Leoni noticed the food wasn’t exactly authentic. She had now been to four vastly different countries. “Who is the Zemeni ambassador to Ketterdam?” Adrik asked as they stopped in front of the house, done in a gorgeous Northern style. 

“That’s Rezki Masri’s home,” Leoni commented. “I don’t know much about him, you can ask the Kaboyongas. They know everyone important. His father was killed several years ago, he was the former Zemeni ambassador.”

“How did he die?” Adrik asked, taking her arm as a wealthy-looking white Kerch couple walked past. 

Leoni shrugged. “No one knows for sure. The Kerch blamed the Shu, the Shu blamed the Kerch. Shortly after that the Ice Court was attacked over parem.”

They walked silently past the Ravkan embassy, Leoni holding Adrik closer and keeping her head down. All she could hear was Nikolai’s voice.  _ Pain of death, _ he had said. She could not set foot on Ravkan soil under pain of death. A hanging, likely. She hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until Adrik whispered in her ear. “Breathe, it’s okay. I won’t ever let anything happen to you.” It was impossible not to believe Adrik when his face settled into determination.

Soon they arrived at Geldstraat. The mansion homes along the suspiciously Tidemaker-clean canal were massive and gorgeous. Here the Kerch became slightly bolder with the colors. She saw some deep slate blue-gray and chestnut homes. She looked at the exquisite details on the gates. 

“I’m a bit thirsty,” Adrik commented. “Do you mind if we stop at the cafe?” he asked, pointing at a place across the bridge. It was cute, decked in tawny brown and pastel yellow. When they entered, she saw that it had gorgeous cakes and pastries. That was her favorite part of the Eastern countries. 

Inside, Adrik ordered them her favorite sweets, and a tea for him. “I need to use the washroom, I’ll be right back.” The woman at the counter gave her a funny look but Leoni brushed it off. She knew that she was tall and dark, and drew a lot of attention. It was just like living in Ravka. When she returned there was a man standing in the cafe. He looked like a dignitary, from the way he was dressed and carried himself. 

The man looked down at her and she became very aware of the way he looked at her chest and hips. Heat flooded her and she froze, unsure what to do. When the man spoke, he had a southern Kerch accent. “How much is your rate? When you’re finished with him?”

Leoni’s mouth fell open. “What?”

“Don’t play coy. Walking up and down the street. With him. I like it - you’re classier than the ones from the Stave. I can meet your price. A hundred kruge.” Leoni stayed silent as her chest tightened, a stone sinking to her stomach. “Those hips. Five hundred.”

“Tell me what you think it is I do,” Leoni said, disgust flooding through her. 

Adrik was by her side in a flash, his face red with rage. “What did you say to my fiance?” 

The man’s face fell as he looked down at her hand, suddenly seeing the coral stones and gold band. “I just- I mean,”

“Are you trying to say she’s a sex worker?” Adrik raised his hand up towards the man and made a clenched fist. The man gasped and reached towards his chest. Adrik was choking him. “You don’t even deserve to look at her, you disgusting man. I could kill you right now.” Leoni reached towards him and touched his arm. “But I won’t. You’re not worth the effort.”

Adrik let go, and the man collapsed to the ground. He wrapped an arm protectively around Leoni, and she could see his jaw working. He looked at the woman at the counter. “I’m not paying for this.”

When they went back outside, they made it a block before Leoni sat down on a bench. She felt gross, her skin crawling from the way he had looked at her up and down. She wanted to step out of it. Did she really look like a sex worker to them?

“I’m so sorry Leoni,” he said. He cradled her chin in his hand and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek. “If you want I can go find him and stab him.” 

Leoni let out a watery chuckle. “No, I don’t want to get in trouble somewhere else.” She sniffed and wiped at her nose. “How dare her make me feel unsafe in my body? I don’t get it.” She crossed her arms and leaned against him. “They're so unused to Zemenis.” She knew that most of the Zemenis in Kerch were because of Kerch involvement in jurda, and how they were trying to move into the market. Or they were women bought from slavers, like the Suli girls. It was awful. “Would it be so bad if the Zemenis cut all ties?”

“I can’t answer that,” Adrik said honestly. “But I’m sorry this happened. How can I help you right now?”

Leoni looked down at her bag. “I want to eat some chocolates.”

They sat on the bench and nibbled on the sweets, that had gotten squished in the rush. Leoni was starting to calm down, thanks to Adrik helping her take deeper breaths. She liked when he did that - the trust involved. People saw them together and thought she was paid to be in his company - some sort of kept woman. The thought made her want to throw up. That never happened back home. And in Ravka, her status as a zowa would have protected her. 

Adrik tugged at Leoni until she was facing him, and they touched their foreheads together. He placed a gentle hand on her chest and they matched breathing. Deep inhale, holding, and then a strong exhale. She did feel content and relaxed. The anxiety slowly dissipated and all that was left was the disappointment.

“Thank you,” she said, leaning forward to give him a chaste kiss on the lips. “I love you  _ umyeni, _ ” she told him, raising her hand to the one on her chest. 

“Of course. Why don’t we keep exploring?”

Leoni nodded and shoved a sugar plum into her mouth before standing up. Adrik, to his credit, tried his damndest to distract her from the encounter. But now she was hyper aware of anyone glancing her way. Maybe it was more than usual. Maybe she was too much.

“Looks like we found Little Ravka,” Adrik said. There was a bit of pep in his voice as he pointed to the imperial Ravkan style arches by the entrance. “A little drearier than the one in Ol’Umoyana, but I suppose it’s closer to the real thing.” Leoni rolled her eyes but Adrik looked rather pleased with himself as they went in.

With the Zemeni border more or less closed, Ketterdam had an influx of Ravkans waiting to get their paperwork approved. Leoni frowned. The marks of the Civil War, of the  _ isinengiso, _ were on their faces and bodies. Adrik having one arm didn’t stand out so much when he was one of many. They looked at various stalls, Adrik asking shop owners for news of what was going on back home. 

An older woman was smiling so much at Adrik that it made Leoni smile. “We are all unsure. The new King he is young and inexperienced. He is getting married to a Shu Princess next month. Tensions still run high with West Ravka. The Second Army has become full of Fjerdans escaping from there.”

“And yet you’re trying to escape Ravka,” Adrik said sadly. “I understand  _ babushka _ , I live in Novyi Zem now with my soon-to-be-wife.”

The woman looked between them and gasped happily. She grabbed Leoni’s hand and her eyes widened. “Does she speak Ravkan?”

“She does,” Leoni replied. “Nice to meet you.”

Adrik stepped forward, wrapping his arm around her and motioning at her with his prosthetic arm. “This is my beautiful fiance Inyoni, my name is Yaroslav.”

The woman tutted over her like every older woman in every country ever, causing Leoni to laugh. She wanted to know long had they been together, when was the wedding, how many kids would they be having, what village Adrik came from, and did he know her great-nephew’s sister that was from that village, or maybe the next one over. Adrik was flustered but went along with her line of questions, tweaking facts to avoid revealing their identities.

“You know, you bear a resemblance to the new Saints,” she said offhand.

Leoni blanked, then schooled her face into curiosity. “New saints?”

“Yes! Come, come, I must show you the mural.”

Adrik shot a look at Leoni and she shrugged. They didn’t have any other plans. So she followed her to a part of the neighborhood that had come alive, near a Ravkan church. There was an altar outside and Leoni saw herself.

Before them, Leoni and Adrik had been rendered in gorgeous abstract brush strokes. Dark skin, full lips looking up to the sky with a Ravkan-style baroque halo around her tight curls, her hands in front of her chest with gold between them. Adrik’s green eyes looked down, with one arm stretched above him. They were painted as opposites of each other. 

Leoni had to blink back tears. There were flowers and tokens laid at their feet. Adrik was the first one to speak, a strain in his voice. “Who are the new Saints?” he asked quietly.

“They appeared in Fjerda and fought the ocean itself,” she said. “He was a powerful squaller, and she was an alkemi. They rescued girls and grisha for years before disappearing.” The woman brought a token up to her lip. “Probably martyred like every poor young Ravkan soul. Sankta Leoni of the Waters and Sankt Adrik the Uneven, protector of the lost and the hurting and the stolen.”

What could Leoni possibly say? “Has the royal family canonized them?” She asked.

“Of course not.” The woman spat. “That Lantsov is too far from the church. I heard the Palace doesn’t even have an altar. It's hard to believe he fought next to Sankta Alina in the war. I think it’s all a lie.” Leoni shot a look at Adrik, who was still mesmerized by the portraits. Leoni knew that the Ravkans thought it was just a resemblance - after all, many boys had lost arms, were blonde with light eyes. And with her hair pulled down in twists, she was just another Zemeni girl. 

“Thank you for sharing this,” Leoni said, a genuine smile coming over her face. “I will never forget this.”


	23. A Dinner Party

Back at the hotel, Leoni saw Atiena sitting in the lobby. She was sitting next to a familiar-looking Shu man. When the Shu man turned around and waved at her, she let out a squeal of excitement. “Nhaban?!” she exclaimed, before remembering she was supposed to be dignified. She couldn’t help herself and when she reached him, gave him a tight hug. He had been new to her last few months in the Little Palace - he had seemed lost and overwhelmed. Leoni immediately took him under her wing and showed him the ins and outs.

“Inyoni now, right? he asked. 

She nodded and gave him another tight hug. “How have you been Nhaban?”

He gave her a cheeky smile. “Well you know, keeping the Little Palace from falling apart.”

“What are you even doing here?” she asked, finally realizing that he was here. In Ketterdam. “Shouldn’t you still be in Os Alta? You’re barely old enough to be in the field.”

“About that,” he said sheepishly. “I’ve been here before. I’m also helping with Nyota Heri. For a few months now.”

“Wait.” She did the math in her head. “You’re the informant in Os Alta?”

He gave her a cheeky grin. “I am. I wish I could have helped when you were imprisoned but I had to keep low.” 

“It’s okay,” she said, shoving away the gnawing sensation that bubbled in her stomach. “I’m glad the city was in capable hands for once.”

“Well they do have a couple saints to look up to.” He made an elaborate show of bowing. “Sankta.” 

She couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up out of her. “You are nothing if not flattering. I take it news has spread far?” She thought of the murals in the Ravkan district. 

“Well they haven’t started selling your bones yet but the Apparat has been speaking about you,” he said. “He calls you the Dark Saint but that hasn’t really caught on yet.”

Leoni rolled her eyes. “I can’t stand him,” she said. Nhaban nodded his agreement and she introduced him to Adrik. Adrik seemed pleased he wasn’t the only one giving state secrets to the Zemenis and he seemed amused by Nhaban’s sarcastic personality. They talked shit about the Apparat until Atiena said that she needed to steal away Nhaban and they left to go upstairs to their hotel room.

“We’re Saints,” Leoni marveled. 

Adrik did his best imitation of the insufferable Apparat voice, holding his arms up. “All worship the Dark Saint! We have forsaken Sankta Alina of the light, the sun queen, and instead look towards Sankta Leoni, who we have called the Dark Saint, despite there being a perfectly reasonable sociopath that spewed shadows laying in the dirt somewhere.”

Leoni dissolved into giggles, and Adrik looked more than pleased that he solicited that response. She had found the Apparat off putting and more than a little discriminatory of Suli and Zemeni people who were recruited to the Little Palace to fill out the ranks of the Second Army post Civil War. 

“I think you’re more like the sun,” Adrik said, his face becoming sweetly serious. “These idiots are fixated on the differences, instead of the fact you are radiant.”

“You are quite radiant yourself you know,” Leoni said, her cheeks warm.

“I am simply the moon reflecting back on you,  _ solnyshko, _ ” he said to her. He reached his flesh arm out to her and she took it, before he spun her around gently. “I am glad the Ravkans and Fjerdans are getting their shit together about how lovely you are.”

“You’re quite lovely too,” she said as he twirled her so that her back was to his chest, wrapping himself around her. “I think we need to come up with a better name for you. Sankt Adrik the Uneven focuses on the unimportant parts of you.”

“I know the Cult of the Starless is beginning,” Adrik said. There was a hard edge to his voice. “Maybe they should know the new Saint’s arm is gone because of him.” He sighed. “I don’t understand it.”

“Me either. He’s a false idol.”

“Every saint is a false idol except for you,  _ solnyshko _ , they were simply grisha who died too young.”

“You don’t believe in much do you?” She teased, reaching a hand up towards. 

“I believe in the ocean. I believe in the air and the small science. I believe in you.” He kissed her cheek. "I will always believe in you."

Leoni hummed her contentment with him. “You know, if Nhaban is here, that means Ravka is probably here.” She paused. “I know you asked about David but if the Tsar is here, his guards are here. And maybe one of his guard’s wife.” She said hopefully. “We could ask around.”

“Are you suggesting we go spy together again?” Adrik asked, squeezing tighter. “Are you sure you want to do that?” He kissed into the groove of her neck. “I know you don’t want to run into His Imperial Majesty,” he said, mocking Nikolai’s official title. It sounded harsh in Zemeni, unnatural. They didn’t have the proper words. “It’s okay, I can go myself.”

“Your sister is wonderful. I would do that for you. And her.” They decided on a course of action before laying down to rest. They were all counting down towards the Summit, the city holding its breath. There hadn’t been anything like it in decades, and certainly not with a Nui’ian delegate present. And even less likely a sildroher present. It was wonderful, and groundbreaking, and Leoni wasn’t sure how to handle being at the center of history.

The sun started to dip far too early for Leoni, when they all joined the rest of the Zemeni delegation for dinner. It was a simple meal of stew and rice, hearty against the cold. She saw Jesper and waved, grabbing Adrik’s hand to go sit by him and the younger Kaboyonga sibling. Atiena was having a low and intense discussion on the other side with Zakhir and another Suli delegate. Leoni bookmarked that information for later.

“How are you enjoying Ketterdam?” she asked Jesper brightly. “You went to school here right?”

“It’s certainly a place,” Jesper said. He didn’t look particularly pleased or disappointed. “A lot of memories and mischief. How about you two?”

“Mixed bag,” Adrik said plainly. “Nearly killed someone.”

“Oh I killed someone too,” Jesper said brightly. “Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal here.”

Leoni wasn’t sure what to think about that. “Jesper, I don’t think that’s normal,” she said. “Like. For anyone.”

He shrugged it off, but Leoni could see his eyes become downcast. “But I’m sure if they were threatening you, it was warranted.” She reached over and hugged him tight, and he relaxed a bit at her touch. They had come so far since that first disastrous meeting, even if Adrik was still his sullen self around Jesper. Her eyes darted over to Atiena again, who’s food was being left untouched. She didn’t look upset, but her eyebrows were furrowed so much they nearly touched, and Zakhir was animatedly using his hands. It wasn’t an argument, and they both stopped when the Suli elder had something to say. 

_ Interesting, _ she thought. Sefu was shoving his face full of the stew. Atiena and Zakhir left the table with the elder and soon, Nhaban walked in. Leoni stood up and began waving at him across the hotel dining room. “Nhaban! Come here!” She said.

His young face lit up and he jogged over to her. Rid of the blue-and-red kefta, he was dressed in a simple collared shirt, suspenders, and pants. But he froze and began staring at Jesper. Leoni looked between the two of them. 

“Jesper?” Nhaban said.

Jesper looked up at the Shu boy quizzically. 

“Nhaban?” Leoni asked.

“Jesper, it’s me!” Nhaban said excitedly. 

Jesper’s spoon hovered in front of his face. “No way.”

“Face is a little different but still as handsome, still priceless,” he grinned. Everything was going over her head. She looked between Nhaban and Jesper, and then back at Adrik and Sefu, all who looked as confused as she did. 

“ _ Kuwei?! _ ” Jesper hissed, then looked around to see if anyone heard. “What?”

“Been too busy to write letters, sorry,” Nhaban shrugged. “Trying to save Nyota Heri.”

“Saints, you’re even speaking Zemeni,” Jesper said, his eyes widening. His spoon clattered to his bowl. Jesper stood up, giving Sefu’s shoulder a squeeze, and went to hug Nhaban. “Hell, Kuwei. I’ve been worried about you.” Leoni was surprised at the emotion in his voice. 

“Thanks,” Nhaban said cheekily, but his eyes were watery as well. “Leoni, can you come with us? I want to talk to you two.”

She nodded, and the three of them stepped out to a nearby balcony. She felt the pressure around them drop, and saw Adrik give her a thumbs up. He was giving them the privacy they needed from afar. 

“I need to explain,” he said. “Leoni - my name is Kuwei. Not Nhaban.” He looked at Jesper in admiration. Then he detailed the Ice Court adventure, and how his father had been killed by the Fjerdans in pursuit of parem. Her mouth fell open as she realized how intricately combined all of their lives were, across different continents, across different lives. She knew Nina - Kuwei knew both of them and had been working in secret for the Zemenis ever since he learned the truth of the Little Palace. He was stunned to find out the connection between Leoni and Jesper, long before Kuwei’s dad headed down the path to Fjerda.

Leoni was only beginning to understand the threads of fate that lead them there, strung along like the trickster  _ asse _ god, bringing everyone together or taking them apart at whim. Leoni detailed how she knew Nina, which made Kuwei’s face drop before he talked about his time with Atiena in Os Alta, where she had pretended to vy for Nikolai Lantsov’s attention. 

By the time they went back in, the Kerch servers had brought them new hot stews. Atiena was back in the room, having left Zakhir’s side and sitting by Sefu, playfully tugging on one of his locs. “Hello friends!” She grinned at Kuwei. “I see you’ve reunited with Jes here.”

“Yes, Jesper is quite lucky,” Kuwei sniffed. Leoni giggled. 

“Hey Nha- Kuwei. Why did you pick that name? It means phoenix in Shu, right?” Her Shu studies had been minimal but she made it a point to learn about mythical figures in every culture. It seemed like a strange basis for a name. 

“It’s the kind of stuff Ravkans like to eat up,” Kuwei shrugged. “I got to make a new identity so I made the most outlandish one I could.” 

That made sense. “Someday we will talk,” she promised with a squeeze of her hand. “I also made a new identity.”

He looked at her gratefully, but then she left Jesper to talk to him, sidling next to Adrik, who was fascinated by what Brigid was regaling besides them. “What’s she talking about?” she whispered. 

“A pet seal,” he said, barely registering Leoni. “I want a pet seal.”

“I don’t think we could get one, reasonably,” she said. “Maybe a dog?”

Adrik absentmindedly nodded his head, focused on the story. She smiled and began eating again, watching the colorful group. There were people from all over the world. It was during her observations that she noticed Zakhir was going a bit gray. Or green. Either way, it wasn’t the handsome coloring he was supposed to have. He frowned and touched the bottom of his throat, before keeling forward.

A commotion burst, and Leoni stood up. It was all too familiar to her - poison. She rushed to his side, joined by Lwazi - a healer. With the precision she learned in the Ravkan military and Zemeni agent training, Leoni carefully withdrew the ugly liquid trying to pool inside him, drawing it out of his mouth, the healer working at his chest to keep him from experiencing any adverse effects. His eyes were watering and chest heaving.

“I need a glass,” Leoni said. Atiena dunked out water on the ground and then put it in front of Leoni. Leoni carefully made sure the poison went into the glass, before covering it with a plate. 

Zakhir was finally starting to get his color back and he looked up, tears streaming down his face and his lips tinted purple. “I knew if I died I would be surrounded by beautiful women,” he immediately joked, looking between Leoni and Atiena. Atiena rolled her eyes but Leoni could see the worry. 

Atiena gave him a light slap on the shoulder. He caught her hand when it landed and kissed her knuckles. Leoni looked away, and down at the glass in her hand. Someone was trying to poison them. Was Zakhir the intended target? She felt a tickle in her throat as she remembered all the poison she ingested. 

“Mbeki,” she heard Atiena say, and instinctively Leoni straightened up, falling effortlessly into being a spy and soldier. This is what she had trained for. This is what she was used to, in those difficult months in Fjerda. “I need you on this. You have the most experience with poisons.”

Leoni nodded. “I can set up my kit wherever you need.”

Atiena motioned for Jesper. “Fahey - you know this city better than any of us. You need to find out who is trying to poison the Zemenis or Sulis, and why.” She paused. “The why is more important. Zhabin. You need to go with the Councilwoman here as our translator to the Ravkan embassy. As an official member of the summit, you do not need to be concerned, you are under full immunity.” She put her hands on her hips. “The rest of you leave until I can make you useful.”

“What about me  _ romni _ ?” Zakhir said.

Leoni watched as Atiena softened a bit. She had no idea what was going on between them, some romance, but it was endearing. “Get out of my way so I can get something done.”

He nodded and grinned, but was visibly shaken. Leoni moved swiftly and they set up shop. Some went and cleared the room, bringing the hotel manager and waiter in for interrogation with Jesper. Leoni barely had enough time to say goodbye to Adrik, the two of them swept into action.


	24. The Barrel

Jesper wasn’t particularly thrilled about having to go back out to the streets of Ketterdam. He stood next to an incredibly angry and cold Atiena, and an apologetic hotel manager. “I’m so sorry I don’t know how this could have happened,” he stammered out. The man looked like he was about to burst, and Jesper couldn’t blame him. Atiena was intimidating despite her short stature on a good day. He remembered the fury in her eyes when he had pulled his gun in the night market all those years ago and the effortlessness with which she stopped his heart.

“You’ll get me the names of all the hotel staff who had access to the kitchens at this time,” she ordered him. He nodded, flustered, and barked more orders at his secretary. This wouldn’t reflect well. Jesper figured if they didn’t help rectify this, they would be out of business within the next few months. Dignitaries in Ketterdam wouldn’t want to stay in a hotel where guests of honor found poison in their soup.

Jesper watched as she took some calming breaths, then looked at him with those endless dark eyes. The ancestors really outdid themselves with the Kaboyonga siblings. “Jesper, you know the underbelly of this wretched city. Can you search for more information for me?” 

He gave her a decisive nod and went back up to his room to change. As much as he loved the soft dashiki shirt he wore, he wouldn’t look enough like a Kerch person to get what he needed. So instead he picked out an outfit not unlike what he wore in the Crows. It felt like he was an actor - this Jesper that he transformed into in dark green pants and yellow ankara suspenders with a white shirt was as much of a character as Mister Crimson. A familiar stranger in the mirror.

“I’m going with you,” he heard from the side. He looked over to see Sefu, and the sight of him took all the air out of Jesper’s lungs. He had also changed into a pair of fitted trousers and a collared shirt tucked in. His long locs had been tied into a knot on his head, a few loose tendrils floating down to frame his face. Sefu rolled his sleeves up the elbow, and the sight of him was formidable. “You need someone to watch your back Jes,” he said quietly. “Let me go.”

Jesper swallowed hard. The fit of the shirt showed off how powerful his physique was - broad shoulders and strong chest. Sefu didn’t have a flat stomach like waifish merchants who never lifted a finger - he had the slightly rounded belly that belied someone with a strong core and a lot of strength. It made him dizzy, so Jesper quickly looked away. “These are bad people, Sefu. Its not like Nyota Heri and -”

“I don’t care,” he said. “You shouldn’t go it alone.”

Jesper finally relented, giving him a nod. He holstered his twin revolvers to his waist as Sefu put a long plain trench coat on. “Okay.” 

The Kerch sky was a deep dark gray, drizzling down onto them. Jesper’s curls began to frizz the moment he stepped out, and they quickly made their way from the clean ambassador district with its fancy hotels, to the seedy Barrel. The streets held memories for Jes that he tried to swallow down. Things he wasn’t proud of. Instead he tried to focus on what he liked, what he wanted to show Sefu. Celebratory nights with Inej. Dancing. Theater troupes that walked by. The winter markets. 

He decided to stop by the Kaelish Prince first. The Dime Lions, although wretched - didn’t seem to hate him like they hated Kaz. After all, he bore the last name ‘Fahey’. When he walked in, Sefu in tow, it didn’t take long for one of the guards to recognize him. 

“Jesper fucking Fahey!” the woman exclaimed. 

“Hi Saoirse,” he replied with a grin. 

She immediately switched over to Kaelish. “I haven’t seen you in awhile, heard you skipped town with your tail between your legs.”

This was where Jesper excelled. Banter. “If you missed my tail you should have just said so my darling, I have more than enough to go around.”

She gave a big whoop of laughter then looked at Sefu with an appraising eye. “Who’s this fella?”

Sefu, to his credit, attempted to have a menacing look on his face. It fell somewhere between curious and constipated, but Jes hoped that the size of him would override it. “Don’t worry about him. Mind if we chat for a moment Saorise?” 

She seemed to consider this before motioning with her head at the two of them to follow. Despite Pekka Rollins's retirement, the club maintained its outlandish green and gold decor but had rebranded, signs emblazoned with “UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP” on the walls. They walked into a smokey back room and Jesper swallowed thickly. Last time he had been in this room he lost upwards of a thousand kruge. 

“Want some club credits?” She asked with a grin. 

Jesper opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Sefu. His tone was gruff and deep but he simply said “It smells in here.” Sefu’s brows were drawn tight, his lips in an uncharacteristic frown as he continued in Zemeni, “I’m talking like this so she thinks I am getting irritated with her.” He huffed and adjusted the collar of his shirt menacingly. 

He hid his own grin as he said in a sharp tone, “That shirt looks great on you.”

Saoirse held her hands up. “Whoa, fine. You two have things to do. What do you need Jes?”

“Who has fingers in the Hotel Weelderigheid?” Jesper asked. 

She ran a hair through her short flaxen blonde hair, brown eyes full of mirth. “How are you going to make me tell you?” she flirted. “Everyone knows the Van Eck boy broke up with you.”

Jesper couldn’t help the pang of hurt in his chest. Word always spread fast in Ketterdam, especially gossip about the wealthy. “No time to accomplish everything I would need, to make it worth it,” he flirted back, glancing over at Sefu, who was putting on a good show of looking intimidating. “Come on. The Weelderigheid?” He asked again.

She looked him in the eyes before finally sighing. “Fine. After the Dregs pushed the Black Tips out of Fifth Harbour they’ve started working their way through the Ambassador District, and Geldstraat before Van Eck bullied them all into aligning with the Crows.” She shot him an annoyed look. “I really shouldn’t even be seen with you but you’ve done good work with us. How’s your Da? Sorry we were shooting at him last time.” She glanced down at his arm and her eyes widened slightly. Jesper looked down and realized all he had was his talisman - no more crow and cup on his forearm.

“Goodbye Saoirse,” he said in a flat tone. He turned on his heel and stalked out of the club, his fingers twitching and mouth dry as they passed the card tables. He felt Sefu standing behind him and they left, Jesper reaching for his coin to flip around. Less than three days back in the city and it was trying to pull him back in. 

He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder and turned to look at Sefu's dark brown eyes. "Are you okay Jes?" He asked. 

"I will be once we get out of here," he replied. "Lots of bad memories." He screwed his eyes shut as he remembered Pekka lording the deed to the Fahey farm over him.  _ All you need is to tell me where the ship will be, _ he had said.  _ That's it. Then we can talk about the deed. _

"This isn't your home anymore," Sefu reminded him. "You aren't your mistakes."

Jesper gave him a shy smile. "Thank you."

Sefu nodded and Jesper was grateful that he wasn't doing this alone. Every other business was some sort of gang-backed restaurant or gambling den, or both. Brothels were mixed in, pretty people batting their eyelashes behind glass windows while bouncers as big as Sefu stood watch. He was struck by how grimey Ketterdam was in comparison to Ol'Umoyana, which practically sparkled. The angular doors and architecture at odds with the arches and domes he had become familiar with.

They entered the domain of the Black Tips next - instead of garish like the Dime Lions it was sleek and refined, geared towards unsavory types who wanted to pretend they weren't unsavory. Jesper typically had better luck in their games but ultimately, he always lost. He focused instead on the coin in his hand, rotating it between his knuckles before finally palming it.

This time the bouncer was an older man named Luuk. His eyes were not as friendly as Saoirse’s as they recognized Jesper. “Hey there,” he said. “Heard you were snooping around.”

“Really? I thought all you could hear was Devon’s mouth running, leaving no room for your thoughts,” Jesper joked with a grin. “How are they doing? Sorry I had to dispatch your buddy the other night.”

“Should have known that was you,” Lukka grumbled. “Devon was livid, they wouldn’t get off my ass about it. A shot that clean couldn’t be anyone else. But you caught him off guard.” Lukka arched a brow at Sefu. “There a Zemeni gang moving in?”

“We don’t like such easy pickings,” Jesper shrugged. “Why would we settle for a city that smells like shit, instead of where the rivers leave gold for us and the plants yield profit?”

Lukka snorted. “The city smells like shit because you’re full of it. What do you want?”

“Tell Devon I want to talk to them.”

Jesper kept his smile plastered on his face until Lukka grumbled and went up to get the gang leader of the Black Tips. After a couple of moments Lukka returned and motioned for them to follow. They wound through the narrow stairways, and Jesper hoped that Sefu wasn’t too claustrophobic. The dark hallways were the opposite of the airy open pathways back home. Finally they walked into Devon’s office.

Devon was a Suli from West Ravka, with olive skin and thick wavy hair that went down to their shoulders, a strong build, and a relaxed suit with deep plum lipstick. Devon narrowed their eyes at Jesper before a smile broached their lips. “Well well Jes. Come crawling back? So soon after the little Van Eck boy went sour?” 

_ Ghezen, does everyone know? _ He thought to himself. And he was beginning to realize how many former lovers he had scattered around Ketterdam. “Hey Dev. Sorry about your man.”

They shrugged. “He was nothing. What brings you and your muscle here to me on this fine evening? Ghezen knows, Kaz has been awaiting your return at the Slat.” 

Jesper had to hide his reaction. Kaz wanted to know where he was? Wondering why he hadn’t visited? “C’mon, you don’t have to play. We had a little incident with the Zemeni delegation. The Weelderigheid - that you own, tried to poison a Suli dignitary.” Not that Zakhir was very dignified.

Dev’s demeanor went from relaxed to serious. “I heard. And you know I would never poison a Suli. I would think you know I’m smart enough not to kill someone during the summit.” The air was heavy and Jesper instinctively knew the whole truth wasn’t out. 

“Come on Dev.” Jesper’s hand went towards his revolver and he saw Sefu tense in the corner of his eye. “I know your sweet spots but I also know where I can put a bullet.”

They sighed. “Of course. What else would I expect.” They pulled open a drawer in their desk and tossed a photo at Jesper. It was the photo of a blonde man, Fjerdan-looking. “Magnus Opjer. We found out he was hiring one of our own. We didn’t know why and were planning to get information from him tonight. Now it looks like I won’t need to.” Their mouth hardened. “This Fjerdan is who is trying to harm you guys - not the Black Tips. The mugging was an unfortunate accident.” They shook their head. “Crass idiot.”

Jesper moved his hand away. “Thanks Dev. See you around.”

As they left, Jesper smiled at Sefu. “We know who is behind it. We should go back to the hotel.”

Jesper kept his hand relaxed on the holster as they walked back to their fancy hotel, aware they were being watched. Saoirse and Dev hadn’t been unhappy to see him. Despite their status as rival gangs, Jesper had other friends in the city. They weren’t trying to kill him. 

Back at the hotel Jesper immediately went to find Atiena, who was as always, at the center of the action. The Elders that had traveled with them and the youth council were situated around her. Leoni was waiting a distance away and waved at him. “Hey,” she said. 

“Hi. How did your poison research go?”

“Good and bad,” she answered. “Good because I identified it quickly. Bad because I’ve seen this before.”

Jesper opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Atiena ordering them over. She looked upset.  _ No, _ Jesper thought.  _ She looks angry. _ He didn’t have a chance to ask. “Who?” Was all she said. Niceties out the door. 

“Fjerdan. Magnus Opjer.”

Leoni and Atiena both swore. Atiena looked over at the  _ bahandi _ , who cleared her throat. “Magnus Opjer, he has close ties to a man named Imre Olson, deceased, and Jarl Brum.” Jesper was dizzy. Jarl Brum. He knew Jarl Brum. Head of the druskelle. The ones that had brainwashed Matthias, the ones that hung tokens of dead grisha all over the Ice Court. Dread seeped into his bones. 

“Adrik and I had the misfortune of close encounters with both men but not Opjer himself. Olson was heading the trafficking for Brum’s experiments, and the two of them were backing Opjer, who is actively trying to usurp the current Tsar.”

Jesper unfortunately didn’t know all the moving political parts like Atiena and Leoni - he had been focused on Nyota Heri and Kerch. Fjerda and Ravka often escaped his notice. Luckily for him, Leoni pieced it together. “We now know we can’t trust the Kerch or Fjerdans. And if they got into the hotel once, they can get in again.”

“We rarely have business with the Fjerdans,” Atiena thought out loud. “Why would they target Zemenis and Sulis?”

None of them had an answer for that.


	25. Geldstraat

The poison was an exact match for the rivers in that tiny Fjerdan village where her life completely changed. When Adrik returned from his stint as a translator, he looked tired but none the worse for wear. She made eye contact with him and he gave a subtle shake of his head. He hadn’t seen Nikolai or Zoya. They couldn’t avoid each other forever. 

Beside her, an argument raged between Atiena and the Elders about next steps. They wanted to hole out in the hotel and have the staff taste their food. Atiena said that wasn’t secure enough and they needed to move into a private residence where they could control more. It sounded exhausting.

“Where do we go?” Atiena asked. 

Jesper looked heavenward and Leoni studied him curiously. Finally he raised a hand gently, gathering the attention of Atiena and the Council Elders. “I may know a couple places,” he said hesitantly. “I have… friends in Ketterdam. If we’re willing to bid the highest they are fairly reliable. One isn’t too far from here.”

Atiena looked curiously. “Where?”

Jesper sighed. “The Van Eck mansion.”

Atiena frowned. “Are you sure?”

“If it’s for our safety I’m sure Wylan will let us.” The way Jesper’s shoulders sank told Leoni exactly what she wanted to know. Wylan was probably his ex Jesper mentioned during their first luncheon. “We can send word.”

Leoni looked over at Adrik as he walked over to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. “How is everyone?” He asked.

“The antidote will be administered soon, since I knew what we were dealing with. Zakhir is fine, but the Fjerdans are at play. We may see some other old friends while we’re here.”

Adrik groaned. “I’m tired of this nonsense.” 

“Which nonsense?” Leoni asked. “The Fjerdans, the poisoning, or the assasination attempts? Or the traveling everywhere and people being weird?”

“All of the above,” he said. “Is it too much to ask for some regular cushioned spy job?”

“I guess so. You know you could have stayed in Os Alta after the war like your sister. Worked in the palace. Sleep on a soft bed instead of the haystack in the back of a Fjerdan convent.”

“I could have,” Adrik said. He looked over at her with green eyes. “But then I wouldn’t have met you.”

“You would have met me,” she corrected. “Remember? I studied there after the war. Four years. We could have been fooling around in the banyas four years earlier.”

Adrik’s cheeks turned red. “Well. I didn’t think about that.”

“Really?” Leoni said. “I think about it  _ all the time _ .” She grinned at him. “I’m surprised you don’t.”

“Well now I will.” Adrik frowned. “Are there any hot springs in Novyi Zem?”

“Yes. There might even be some here in Ketterdam,” she said, casually looking at her nails. 

Adrik let out a grunt as he turned, and they started to make their way to the lifts. “All these clothes they gave us, they better help us lug it to the next location,” he said. “Then I’m going to ask around until I find the nearest Kerch bathhouse.”

Leoni let out a laugh and nodded at the lift attendant, who moved inside to take them to their hotel floor. “I think the mansion will be more comfortable anyway. More private. And we’ll be close to all the wealthiest in Ketterdam. Who knows what nonsense they’ll say.”

“Lord knows it’ll be more nonsense,” he muttered. “The Kerch are the worst so far.”

Leoni looked at the attendant, who’s eyes slightly widened and elbows Adrik lightly. “I’m not apologizing,” he said. “There’s only so many assassination attempts one can endure.”  _ He has a point, _ Leoni mused, and grinned as they walked out into the hallway and towards their room. 

They made quick work of their packing, used to it since all that time ago working as spies. It almost felt relaxing to Leoni - they fell into the familiar cadence of sweeping the room for any weaponry or notes left behind, Leoni humming and Adrik being extra thorough. They managed to pack before anyone else and sat on the hotel couch in the lobby. Keao joined them soon after, bundled up in fox-fur lined cloaks.

The three of them chatted until a courier arrived for them. “I work for the Van Eck household,” the woman said. “I’m here to help escort the Zemeni delegation.” She gave a smile to Leoni. “Are you with them?”

Leoni wasn’t sure if she should be offended or not. “All three of us are, yes.” Typically she would take her own luggage, but this time shoved it towards the woman with a bright smile. “I’ll find my way to the carriage, thank you.”

* * * * *

The Van Eck mansion was exactly what Leoni thought it would be like. It was opulent, cold, and sprawling on a canal front that was suspiciously cleaner than other parts of the city. There were staff members waiting for the Zemenis. Leoni had yet to see Jesper, and was feeling worried for him. She kept her pinky linked with Adrik’s, her other arm tucked against her zowa kit. The door opened to a line of stoic-looking people in uniformed shirts. 

At the end of it was a smiling woman, with a little black-haired brown-skinned girl playing around her feet. “Hello! Thank you for coming! My name is Alys.” Jumping up and down she then ran towards Leoni, clasping her hands. “I’m so sorry, I just! This is so important. Thank you for choosing to stay here,” she said. Leoni instantly liked her.

“Nice to meet you Alys. The rest should be here soon, I believe they’re still working on leaving the hotel and packing.”

Alys nodded vigorously. She looked only to be a few years older than Leoni herself. “Of course! Please come in.” 

Their bags were taken care of and Leoni and Adrik were shown to their room. The stress of everything finally hit her, and Leoni slumped onto the bed. “Are you alright?” Adrik asked. 

“Yes.” She rubbed her hands on her face, letting out a groan. “I’m just tired. Tired of waiting to see them, of waiting for something to happen. The Zemenis have a target on our backs and I don’t even understand why.”

“The hardest part of being a soldier,” Adrik said. “Things often make little sense.”

* * * * *

Jesper stared at the mansion from around the corner. He knew on a fundamental level he was being ridiculous. Many people had exes. He had just seen one the day before. But seeing on-and-off-again Dev was different than standing there in front of the house that he had lived in. With Wylan. They had shared a room, a  _ bed, _ and had started the process of building a life together. A life that Wylan decided he no longer wanted to be a part of.

He nervously flipped his coin between his fingers, the material changing effortlessly.  _ Stop being a wimp, _ he told himself. It was just an ex. And he had nothing to be ashamed of. Wylan broke up with  _ him _ . Maybe Jesper’s eye had wandered a bit but he had remained steadfast and faithful during the months apart, and wanted to bring Wylan over with him. 

He knew that he probably should have written Wylan directly instead of Alys and Marya. But they were so much more approachable and neither of them knew all his flaws. Alys had responded immediately, sending a haggard-looking messenger back to inquire about the amount of rooms and amenities they would need, and how happy she was to see Jesper again, and how much Maya had grown in the past several months. Jesper smiled. He loved that little girl, questionable parentage and all.

So he packed up his room with Sefu, who was even quieter than normal. What could he say? What could Jesper say? So the words went unsaid and he packed his bag, swearing as he lugged the heavy trunk outside his room for the Van Eck servants to collect it. He trusted them more than the hotel staff at this rate - with Wylan being a member of the Dregs, there were now a fair amount of thugs mixed in with regular servants. Jesper could spot the difference. 

Jesper looked down at the outfit he’d chosen for his return. It was simple but he hoped stately. A long coat in a bright orange and blue ankara print over a white dashiki shirt and orange fitted pants. Sefu wore a besotho cloak lined in fox fur, not used to the cold wintry weather. He tucked the coin into his breast pocket and then he straightened up. The rest of the Zemenis had arrived already - Jesper was hanging back.

When he approached the steps and into the door, he didn’t even have to knock before a fresh-faced Alys threw the door open. “Jesper!” she exclaimed and reached forward to pull him into a hug. “It’s been so long! Look Maya!” 

Jesper was surprised at the warmth from the woman, who he didn’t really have any more connection to. Maya’s thick black hair was curling around her face and her big brown eyes were beautiful. Definitely not the same as Alys’s sea blue ones, or Jan van Eck’s cold blue ones. But that wasn’t any of his business. “Look at you!” he cooed to her, picking her up when she reached her hands up to him. 

“Yesyes!” she said. She never had a good grasp on the J sound, so foreign to Kerch. “Yesyes! Up!” 

“Yes, your Uncle Jes,” Alys said, and he felt a pang of guilt go through him. “Jesper, your friends are so delightful. Your cousin or something, Leoni? She had tea with me! Imagine that, a big fancy ambassador having tea with little old me.” She beamed, and Jesper was struck as always by how nice she was. He couldn’t imagine it was easy with a disgraced husband, daughter of questionable parentage, and sharing the mansion with her stepson (almost the same age as her) and her ex-husband’s ex-wife. If she could do it, Jesper supposed he could handle it.

“Leoni is wonderful. She isn’t technically an ambassador, she’s more like a spy.”

Alys gasped. “Amazing. I won’t tell anyone! My lips are sealed.”

“It’s really good to see you,” Jesper said. And he meant it. “Are you doing well? With everything going on?

“I barely keep up with it,” she waved off. “But I promise you will all be extra safe. Wylan isn’t here right now, he’s out doing his… business… stuff… things that he does.” Alys scrunched her face, trying to remember whatever lie Wylan told her about his ‘work’. “But he’ll be home this evening. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you. No matter how it ended.”

“Well, he ended things,” Jesper said with a frown.

“Oh I didn’t know that,” she said. “Really?” She raised her eyebrows. 

Jesper smiled at her. “Thank you, Alys. Do you happen to know what room Sefu Kaboyonga is staying in?”

“Sefu,” Alys mused. She closed the front door, ushering Jesper into the foyer. “Is he the big strapping man? Handsome?” Her eyes widened. “Oh is he -”

“No, no. We’re just friends,” Jesper said. Although that didn’t quite feel right. “I just need to give him some information.”

She nodded. “Of course. Let me give you the room assignments.” She motioned for one of the maids to come over, and she gave Jesper a paper with a map of the mansion and who was sequestered where. Most of the elders were on the first floor - the house was old enough not to be outfitted with a lift, and most Zemenis weren’t used to the narrow and steep stairways of Ketterdam. Sefu was up on the uppermost floor and Jesper groaned internally. When he’d lived in the mansion, Jesper all but avoided the 5th floor.

As he walked through the familiar hallways, Jesper swallowed hard. He saw ghosts of his time in Ketterdam in the hallway. All the secret kisses stolen from Wylan, the holidays where he invited all their friends, the arguments, the conversations. Love had filled the home once, between them. Jesper would never deny that. But Wylan had decided to toss it. What about Jesper had been worth getting rid of and throwing away? 

He was panting by the time he got up to the top floor, swearing again. He knocked on the door to Sefu’s room. When the older boy answered it, his locs were falling around his face and he was wearing an undershirt. “Jesper,” he said with a smile. “I’m glad you made it.”

“I was waiting outside like a stalker,” Jesper admitted. “Couldn’t make myself walk in.”

Sefu nodded. “This is where you lived right?”

“Yes.” Jesper admitted. 

“I heard Wylan isn’t here yet,” Sefu said helpfully. Jesper watched his face, which was carefully neutral. “I’m sure you’ll want to talk to him.”

“I guess. Yes. No, not really. But I suppose I have to,” he said. “None of it really makes sense to me.”

“I understand,” Sefu mused. “My ex is also here in Ketterdam.”

Jesper’s mouth fell open. “You have an ex in Ketterdam?”

Sefu’s mouth twitched. “Yes.”

Jesper quickly thought about everything he knew about Sefu, and wondered why this was so shocking. The Kaboyongas were an international family, it made sense that some Kerch boy had been lucky to hold Sefu in their arms. But all he could dumbly ask was “Who?”

Sefu shrugged. “The ambassador.”

“Rezki? Rezki Masri?” Jesper had learned his name during the many debriefings before they arrived. “You dated an ambassador?”

“I mean, he wasn’t an ambassador when we did but yes. I wouldn’t really call it dating,” Sefu muttered. “I don’t really like him. I’ve been trying to avoid him.” 

Jesper sympathized with that. He’d thought the ambassador was older, around 30 or more, but maybe not. Jesper did know that he was the son of the ambassador that had been killed right before he had gone to the Ice Court. Hamza Masri’s death had completely rattled the Zemeni quarter, and they never did find out whether or not it was the Shu or the Kerch that did it. But it still unsettled him more than he wanted to admit, that Sefu had been with the allegedly handsome North Zemeni man.

“Sounds like an asshole,” Jesper said brightly. “What do we have planned for today?”

“Still trying to figure out what happened with the poisoning,” Sefu replied. “The Suli are understandably threatening to withdraw from the Summit but I think Atiena is doing a good job of calming them down and coming up with a solution. She’s been in meetings since dinner yesterday, I don’t think she’s gotten any sleep.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Jesper said. "I suppose we should go make her do that."

Sefu grimaced. "I suppose we should."

"I'll distract her and you work your magic fingers," Jesper joked, wiggling his fingers at Sefu. "Slow her breathing, knock her out."

Sefu looked down with a smile. "I think I'll just try talking to her instead."

"The boring option, alright," Jesper nodded. "Let's go."


	26. Fjerdan Sensibilities

Leoni sat with Kuwei drinking the admittedly weak tea that was set up in the parlor. Kuwei looked around. “You know,” he started. “Last time I was here I was being pursued by the entire Staadwatch.”

“That sounds terrible,” Leoni said. “Why did you come back?”

Kuwei shrugged. “I have a new appearance, and I was curious. Also I wanted to rub it in Wylan’s face.”

Leoni did some thinking. “Jesper’s ex-boyfriend?” Kuwei nodded. “Did you and Jesper ever…” she trailed off.

“No, but I did have a big crush on him. I know now it was because everything back then was terrible and he was the first person who was sort of nice to me.” His smile became weak. 

It appeared to Leoni that everyone under the sun had a crush on Jesper. He wasn’t quite her type - apparently she liked them broody and serious. And, he reminded her too much of Aditi. “Only sort of, though?” she asked. “You had some boys looking your way in Ravka too, Nhaban. Do you want to go by Nhaban?” 

“Either is fine. Probably safer that way.”

From what Leoni knew, he had been trapped in the Ice Court. For  _ months _ . It had been difficult enough for her the days she spent in the jail in Os Alta. Kuwei was stronger than he looked, and he was a powerful inferni if she remembered the singed trees by the lake properly. “Why did you come back, really? You could have gone to Ol’Umoyana instead. Started a new life. Studied.”

He shrugged. “It seemed like the right idea at the time you know. But I was compromised - I couldn’t even write Jesper letters anymore because I was being watched closely. It was too bad though. I really liked Tamar and Tolya. Sometimes I want to go back to Shu Han but there are radical scientists who make it unsafe.” He wrinkled his nose. “They aren't all like that, you know.”

“I never thought they were,” she replied. “For what it’s worth I’m glad you’re here. I bet Jesper is too, he’s just distracted. By everything.” She sipped the weak tea again before wrinkling her nose and setting it down. “But are you going to come back with us to Nyota Heri?”

“I think so,” Kuwei replied. “I need to keep training if I’m going to be able to help other grisha in Shu Han. The Ravkan court is a mess and I’m sure war will be starting again soon depending on what happens here.”

Leoni nodded. They only had a couple days until the Summit opening. “You make sure you stay safe. With all the people crawling about, and it seems like we have enemies everywhere.”

“It’s nice how accommodating Zemenis have been,” Kuwei confessed. “I would be more worried if I was by myself. But you have the Nui’ian here, and that one Kaelish woman.”

“Keao and Brigid,” Leoni said. “Yes. Although I believe Brigid is staying at the Kaelish embassy now.” She had heard whispers about the Kaelish having a strategic plan as well but that was not her job. Leoni felt that being in Ketterdam reminded her that she was better at gleaning information and following those orders best as possible than navigating treacherous political waters. Especially with so many players on the board. She almost missed the simplicity of survival with Adrik and Nina far north. 

“Why is that one Suli staying with you though?” Kuwei asked. “Zakhir? I thought the Suli were staying on Inej’s ship.”

“Most are,” Leoni said. “I believe he’s just sleeping with Atiena and she would rather keep him close.”

The two of them dissolved into laughter. The conversation veered to how bad the tea was, and how much she missed Zemeni coffee. They were soon joined in the room by none other than Sefu and Jesper, who were sharing conspiratorial smiles. 

“What did you two get up to?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

“We finally got Atiena to take a nap,” Jesper said proudly, standing up straighter. “How long that lasts, we have no idea.”

Leoni looked around at the little crew in the sitting room. Jesper and his close friend Sefu, Kuwei, and her. “So I was able to examine the poison,” she said. She told them about the waters in Gafvalle, about the runoff from the factories manufacturing a deadly jurda synthetic. She tampered down the memories of the girls, starving and pregnant. 

Her greatest disappointment was not being able to find a cure or reverse engineer it before the summit. Here she was in the same room as someone who survived a parem dose - one of two known people in existence. Leoni knew she was doing good work, but she felt like she was ignoring the women, and their children. 

Jesper shared what he found out about the Black Tips, and the Fjerdans. Her eyes widened, and it confirmed what she knew. The men who had been working with Imre Olson were behind this. Magnus Opjer, the name that kept coming up again and again. Who tried to traffic girls who weren’t Fjerdan, who wanted to usurp Nikolai Lantsov. It felt personal. 

“What does a Fjerdan aristocrat have to gain from starting a war with Novyi Zem, West Ravka, and the Kerch?”

Leoni kept thinking about it, and what she knew of Fjerdans. They loathed the Tsar. The boy king. Sol Koroleva. Whatever they wanted to call him. Sure, they hated Aleksander Morozova more, but that didn’t translate into warmth for the pro-grisha king. They blamed everything on the  _ isinengiso _ . It tugged on the back of her mind. 

“Where’s your fiance?” Sefu asked, interrupting her thoughts. 

“Translating,” she said. “Ravkans respond better to a translator who looks like them, traitor or not.”

“Are they meeting with Nikolai?” Kuwei asked. “Maybe the Bataars will be there.”

“No, just with the ambassadors to Kerch, about the assasination attempt.”

“To be a fly on the wall there,” Jesper said. 

Leoni smiled brightly. “Adrik will tell me all about it after, I’m sure.”

They all sat there, contemplating. It was Kuwei who broke the silence in his accented Kerch. “Well, I think we should try and get more information.” He looked at the room. “Someone with guns, a saint, a big man with muscles, and a complete charmer,” he said with a smile. “I think we could find whatever we want,” he finished with a shrug.

Leoni contemplated that. A saint, but she had cut her teeth as a spy for two nations. “I agree,” she declared. “There’s a lot we could do that the dignitaries can’t. Especially with your knowledge Jesper.”

Sefu’s eyes widened. “I don’t know what I could do. You three are stronger and more familiar with this part of the world.”

“Sefu,” Jesper began. “I’m a reformed murdering, gambling, addict. You’ll be fine.”

“You’re so much more than that,” Sefu said intensely. 

Leoni and Kuwei blinked at them before she finally chirped up. “Let’s get ready to go.”

* * * * *

The four of them changed into inconspicuous clothes. She wore a simple a-line dress that went to her mid-calf, and the men wore slacks with simple collared shirts in the Kerch style. She wrote a quick note so Adrik wouldn’t worry and tied her hair back with a scarf. She looked like a simple working woman and she let that identity sink in like all the ones before her. 

Jesper explained to them where the Fjerdans typically liked to hang out, especially the upper class ones. She was impressed with how well Jesper knew the city, considering he only lived in the city a few years. Leoni made note of how many canals were in the city, with bridges. She saw a map and frowned when she glanced at the various brothels along certain streets. She wanted to stay far away from there. 

Leoni found herself grateful for the cosmopolitan city. It meant that three Zemenis and a Shu wouldn’t seem too out of place so long as they walked with purpose. She felt more secure walking around with Kuwei and Jesper, who were familiar with the city. 

They started in a Fjerdan cafe and she was awash with familiar sounds and smells. Fish and salt, and the brusque language. “How are we supposed to find out about an aristocrat here?” Sefu asked. A valid question, but Leoni’s mind was already working. She took a deep breath and as she exhaled, felt herself completely go slack. 

Meek, downcast, full of trepidation. It was what Fjerdan men wanted. Leoni pretended to nervously twist at the strap of her bag, only looking up briefly to approach the counter. She pretended her Fjerdan wasn’t fluent, halting words and slightly wrong pronunciation.

“Excuse me?” she said, pitching her voice higher and making it soft. The bartender looked over at her, looking vaguely annoyed. She quickly looked down, “I’m sorry to bother you sir,” she pleaded. “I am here with my companions. They don’t speak Fjerdan.”

The bartender looked her over, then seeming to like what he saw, gave her a small smile. “It’s okay, girl. How can I help you?” 

“Sorry. We wanted to make a special delivery to a Fjerdan man for our boss, he was very important. His name is familiar... “ She pretended to try and sound it out. “Matthias? Malin?” She muttered to herself in Fjerdan  _ just _ loud enough for him to say. “You’re so stupid, remember a name.”

“Oh don’t be so hard on yourself,” the man practically hummed. Fjerdan sensibilities - helping a poor young woman who was confused. They always had to be the big strong man. “You said he was a famous man? Important?”

She nodded, widening her eyes and her lips trembling in a shaky smile. “Oh thank you, thank you.” She clutched her shawl closer, drawing it up over her shoulder more. A play at the modesty the country so loved. She stepped back slightly, pretending to be intimidated by him. They were so easy to manipulate, to play. “Yes, good sir.”

“Give me a moment sweetheart,” he said, even though she internally recoiled at the familiarity. She turned around and winked at her companions, who were all slack-jawed before she waved at them to look normal and socialize. They immediately dispersed. When he returned, his chest was puffed up, self-important. “Just your luck today, young lady. I’m your new friend and I know some important people.”

She looked down, fluttering her eyelashes. “I should have known.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder and she had to stop herself from grabbing her revolver and shooting him on the spot. “I bet it is Magnus Opjer, is it? He’s staying at the hotel on the corner of Devriesstrasse and Bergstrasse.”

Leoni gave a fake gasp, and she wondered if he was really eating all this up. “Yes! That’s the name! I could never repay you.” It was the truth. She couldn’t, and wouldn’t.

The man grinned. “You can repay me by meeting me back here at the end of my shift. Six pm?”

“I’ll meet you,” she lied. “Thank you.” She blew him a small kiss and kept the bile down her throat until she ducked outside. 

“What was that?” Jesper asked incredulously. He looked her up and down. “Who was that?! What the hell just happened there?! That was some meek, ‘I only obey my husband’ bullshit and he ate that up!”

“I’ve spent a lot of time around the Fjerdans,” Leoni said. “If you show people what they want to see, they rarely will look elsewhere. Even if something is wrong.” She thought about how she had fooled Adrik for months. About the Little Palace, and the lies that easily slipped through her lips to keep herself safe. Sometimes it scared her. 

Jesper nodded. “Wow. I’m glad you’re on my side.” He narrowed his eyes. “I think.”

Kuwei tugged at Leoni’s sleeve like a child in the Little Palace before she left, sticking his tongue out at her. “Where to now?”

Leoni told them the street names and Jesper led them to the correct tram station that would take them to it. “One of the fanciest hotels in Ketterdam,” he mused. “Very elite. It doesn’t even have a connection to any of the gangs, it's run by the Council of Tides according to rumor.”

“Council of Tides?” Leoni asked quizzically. 

Jesper nodded and Kuwei’s face soured. “They run the city, and the different harbors. They’re zowa,  _ lethavu _ , and they keep a vice grip on the testicles of the Merchant Council as well.” 

Sefu arched an eyebrow. “Is there a single part of this city corruption hasn’t touched?”

Kuwei piped up to answer. “No.”

The four of them sat in the back of the tram when it arrived, Leoni trying to think of a plan. She would be recognized by Brum if he was there, but she doubted the man would want to arrive at a summit full of grisha and Ravkans after his catastrophe. And with such an ugly face. She couldn’t account for the different Fjerdan men she’d seen in Olson’s house all those months ago, but she had faith in their own prejudice and inability to tell Zemenis apart.

When the tram stopped down the street they piled into a small cafe across from the hotel to make their plan. The server seemed reluctant to deal with them until Jesper lay down a stack of kruge on the table, at which point their glasses were consistently filled and treats were brought to them. Leoni found it fell flat compared to both Ravkan pastries and Zemeni sweets, but she did enjoy the honey rolls. 

Kuwei looked at the little map Jesper drew on a napkin. “We could set something on fire and try to go in that way,” he said unhelpfully. “Distraction. I did that all the time at the Little Palace.”

Leoni straightened up. “That was you?”

Kuwei paled. “Maybe.” He paused. “What time?”

She burst into laughter, drawing ire from people at the table next to them. “I knew that fire during training made no sense.”

Kuwei shrugged it off. “Well it still worked.”

“Well,” Leoni considered. “We can assume security is tight during the summit - the easiest way to sneak in is by pretending to be working people. The kind Opjer and other wealthy Fjerdans wouldn’t glance twice at.” 

“Who is this Opjer man?” Sefu finally said, seeming overwhelmed by all the information being passed along. It was clear to Leoni that the man was less familiar with the business of spying and infiltration than they were. “Why does he want to interfere with these countries anyway?”

“That’s what I can’t figure out,” Leoni said. “This man is in political power already, I can’t see what he has to gain by throwing everyone into war with each other.” She sighed. “Especially with Novyi Zem, which is a strong enough presence to take on the East even without allies. And if Shu-Zemeni talks go through, there’s no hope for Ravka, Fjerda, and Kerch.” There was information she didn’t know, she didn’t have. As a child she loved puzzles, but this puzzle had too many important pieces with too many important people. 

She grabbed a notepad from her bag and began to sketch, using coded language in case it was found. There were the Zemenis - a country that was stable, wealthy, and rich in resources. The Council of Elders and youth council were the governing bodies, and focus was on industrialization in the country and access between the different regions. Evidence so far - from what she had been debriefed on - was that the Kerch and Fjerdans were staging the terrorist attacks against jurda farms, the harbor, and the oil machines that toiled in the north of the region despite Zemenis pivoting towards steam power.

Fjerdans were also focused on industrialization, but persecuted zowa. It made sense for them to lash out against the jurda farms, which only prospered in the middle regions of the Zemeni continent. The Kerch had plenty of money, but were also allies with Ravka. Ravka had formerly been an ally, but the actions of the Tsar showed that Ravkans no longer valued any agreements with Zemenis.

“I’m missing something important,” she said with a frown, tapping her pencil against her notepad. The three men stared at her expectantly. “I need to think about it some more,” she mumbled, embarrassed she couldn’t come up with some sort of an answer for them. It was so close, buzzing around the base of her skull. Something that would loop Ravka and Opjer into all this together. 

Leoni started when a Fjerdan man approached their table. She shrank in on herself again and softened her face as much as possible. She parted her lips slightly and brought her shoulders forward, clutching the front of her shawl again. He gave her a cold look. “Are you the Zemeni cleaner I’ve been expecting?” he asked in a haughty yet familiar voice. 

She wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. “Yes sir, I’m so sorry. I was taking a break -”

“You aren’t paid to take breaks,” he cut her off, raising a hand. “I will escort you back to the hotel in case you get lost in another cafe.” 

She bristled but looked at Jesper, who had a hand on his revolver, and gave him a subtle shake. “Of course sir,” she said, looking down at the man’s feet. Why did his voice sound familiar? “I will be there soon.”

“No, you will come with me now.”

Leoni weighed her choices and decided to get up, muttering her apologies in Fjerdan. The men with her looked distressed but she tried to mentally tell them it would be fine. She had been in trickier situations. It almost felt like home again, going into the lion’s den.

When she tried to excuse herself to go search the hotel, the man grabbed her arm. She couldn’t control the revulsion that roiled through her and she was about to connect her fist to his face when his face completely relaxed, 

“You can drop the act,” said an amused voice. “I was wondering when I would see you again.”

Fear seized Leoni. She searched the fine features and short blonde hair, angular nose. “This scarf sure is stuffy,” the man mused, loosening it. She caught the thin, immaculate scar peeking above his neck and she straightened up. “Chuku!” 

“Little bird,” he smiled, pulling her into a hug. “I’ll get your friends in here soon. We have a lot to catch up on.” 


	27. Four Zemenis and a Fjerdan Walk Into a Bar

An hour had passed, and discarded coffee mugs littered the table as Sefu looked at Jesper with concern. His leg was shaking the entire table. Kuwei was eating a rather delicate-looking cake, nonplussed. “She’s smart,” he said. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“That man looked terrifying,” Jesper said. “Adrik is going to kill me.”

“Why do you say that?” Sefu asked.

“Because his fiance just walked off with the most Fjerdan looking Fjerdan to ever Fjerdan.” He’d managed to get the drop on Adrik once, but he had a feeling the dour-looking Ravkan wouldn’t hesitate to deflate his lungs permanently if given the chance, and if Leoni were harmed in any way whatsoever. No amount of parem-changed ability would stop the windstorm coming his way. 

“Kuwei is right,” Sefu said hopefully. “She is quite charming and survived on her own in Os Alta as a spy for many years. She even managed to bring a Ravkan back with her,” he said in an amused tone. “Even Atiena didn’t manage that.”

“She’s working on the Suli Navigator though,” Jesper mumbled. At least someone was having fun in Ketterdam. “I think we should just go in there -”

“And start another international incident?” Sefu said. “No, Jes.” He reached a hand over and put it on top of Jesper’s. His caffeine-assisted heartbeat started to slow down as a tingle overtook his hand. It itched like crazy, but as his heartbeat slowed, he also felt a tingle deep inside his head. Was Sefu able to manipulate the brain as well? But it didn’t matter, not with the brand-new clarity afforded him as the adrenaline from anxiety subsided. “I know storming against Fjerdans worked for you once but let's not push your luck.”

Kuwei looked down at the hands and between Sefu and Jesper, curiosity in his eyes. A pang of guilt went through Jesper, even as Sefu took his hand off his.  _ It’s just being Zemeni,  _ he told himself.  _ Men are allowed to touch each other affectionately. As friends. _ He didn’t think about the fact he hadn’t slept in his own bed the entire time so far in Ketterdam, instead waking up in Sefu’s arms, a quiet agreement Jesper couldn’t put words to. 

Jesper was about to say “fuck it” and storm the place with his revolvers when a Fjerdan messenger boy made his way into the cafe. 

“Jesper Fahey?” he asked. 

Against all logic Jesper raised his hand. “Here.”

“I have a message for you from Lukas Dahlberg,” he said, passing a letter off to Jesper.

He tore open the letter and immediately read it. The writing wasn’t in Kerch, but flawless Zemeni. That surprised him.

_ Jesper, _

_ I would like to invite you to have a drink with me. Your companion is healthy and safe. _

_ Lukas _

Underneath was a time and place. Jesper recognized the name - it was a tavern in the Zemeni quarter of all places. Curiosity overtook his worries. Why would a Fjerdan diplomat - he assumed the man that had taken Leoni out - want to meet with him? Was something wrong with Leoni? But the name was familiar. Maybe he should have paid closer attention to the ledgers that he had reviewed before coming to Ketterdam. Luckily Sefu was next to him. “I think he’s one of ours.”

“One of ours?”

“Zemeni.”

Kuwei’s eyes widened. “Is there a government the Zemenis don’t have their agents in?”

“Doubtful,” Sefu answered truthfully. “Zemeni Councils deal in information not intimidation and warfare.” He glanced at Jesper. “The Kerch aren’t the only one adept at sleight of hand.”

That made Jesper curious. Painfully so. Kuwei slurped on his coffee, his eyes looking excited. “I’m so glad I made it here.”

Jesper was thankful when Adrik was still caught up in diplomatic translating when they stopped by the Van Eck mansion to get a couple extra weapons before going to the Zemeni quarter. Jesper wanted to be more safe than sorry, especially after the Black Tips had tried to rob him. Dev said it was a mistake, and they didn’t seem like a vengeful scorned lover, but Jesper couldn’t be too sure. He was on the way out when he heard a familiar voice. 

“Is everyone settling in?”

He froze. “Yes, everyone is settling in,” Alys responded. He heard Maya cooing beside her, around the corner. “Are you curious about anyone in particular?”

Silence, as Jesper looked around to see the best way to sneak out. “You know what I’m asking,” Wylan responded, and Jesper could hear the pout in his voice. He considered whether or not he could leap out the window, or fit into the dumbwaiter. It sounded like they were in the sitting room. 

“Jesper seems fine,” Alys replied cheerily. “He looks wonderful actually. I don’t understand why you couldn’t -”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said. Jesper was surprised at the clipped answer. But he could easily see the pout on Wylan’s lips, and Jesper decided to take a chance and peek into the sitting room. Wylan’s back was to him, slightly hunched over. Alys was sitting next to him on the loveseat. Maya was sitting on the floor playing with some toys. 

_ Sefu and Kuwei are waiting for you. And whoever this Lukas fellow is, _ Jesper told himself. He could talk to Wylan later. For now he needed to make sure Leoni was okay if he wanted to even consider living another several hours. 

They made their way to the Zemeni quarter quickly, Kuwei’s eyes lighting up when the streets went from the dull and drab Kerch style to the eclectic mish-mash of Zemeni aesthetics with Kerch architecture. Jesper felt a sense of pride within him as Kuwei’s mouth opened. “Why didn’t I get to see this side of Ketterdam while I was here?” he demanded. “I was stuck in a cave!”

“A cave?” Sefu asked, looking between the two.

“In our defense, Kaz made the decision,” Jesper replied lamely. 

“That explains a lot,” Kuwei grumbled. 

The small Zemeni tavern had barely enough room for the three of them, especially with Sefu nearly hitting the door frame. The tiny place had narrow counters along the side with tables crammed in the center that had to be a fire hazard. Staff brought food in unceremonious dishes, but it smelled heavenly, and spiced beer flowed from taps. Sefu ordered a glass for himself and sipped on it slowly. Kuwei eyed the food greedily, making Jesper grin. He enjoyed being around the inferni. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Jesper saw a woman waving at them. Her face looked… off. Different. But the brown eyes were unmistakable. Leoni. She waved the three of them over and they crammed into a booth. Jesper was sandwiched in between Sefu - who was barely able to sit on the cushions - and Kuwei, who was happily leaning against Leoni. Sefu adjusted next to him, causing heat to pool deep in his belly. They were flush against each other, and to stay balanced Sefu put an arm behind Jesper. 

He subtly leaned into Sefu, and was pleased when Sefu’s arm moved towards his shoulders instead of firmly on the booth. It was comforting. 

“Leoni!” he said. “I think. What happened to your face?”

She pointed at the Fjerdan man beside her. A different one than before. Except his eyes were also familiar. “Meet Lukas. He’s an ally of ours.”

“Good to meet you guys, Leoni has been telling me all about you.” He spoke perfect Zemeni, with a Western accent. This man had to be Zemeni. Zemeni was the type of language where non-native speakers never could fully capture the cadence. Jesper recognized it in his father, in Adrik, and others who learned it. “For now my name is Lukas. I needed to speak with her clandestinely and then who else do I see across the street?”

He looked at her affectionately. Jesper was worried at first but then he saw it was fatherly. And he was much too old for her anyway.  _ Isn’t the Ambassador too old for Sefu? _ He frowned. That whole thing didn’t sit right, but it was Sefu’s business to share. “I knew her back when she was a chubby-cheeked child at zowa school.” He pinched her cheek and she stuck her bottom lip out. “I’m a tailor.”

It clicked for Jesper. “You’re albino?”

Lukas grinned. “I am. But enough state secrets about me. Let's talk about yours.” 

That explained why Leoni looked a bit different. She had been tailored. “I filled him in on what we know so far about the poisoning, and how it links to Gäfvalle. He was my handler in Fjerda, and knows the situation with the girls and the poison.”

“They’re calling you Sankta,” Lukas said. “Fjerdans. They hate zowa - and are not much fonder of Zemenis. Yet they worship you.”

Jesper knew if her skin was lighter, Leoni would be blushing. Instead she waved him off. “Unimportant.”

“Saints are the embodiment of an idea, little bird,” he said. “And Sankta Leoni is the idea of freedom and protection. But we can talk more about your sainthood later, and how best to prevent martyrdom.” Everyone sobered up. Sefu took a sip of the spiced beer, and Jesper palmed the coin in his pocket, pulling it out to flip it between his knuckles. “Magnus Opjer and Jarl Brum are certainly behind it. But they are stretched thin. Between the new saints of the Fjerdan countryside, the warehouse explosion, and troubling news out of Os Alta. If they weren’t, the entire druskelle would be here.”

Jesper suddenly felt sick. He remembered Matthias bleeding on the street. An ugly end for anyone. “I can tell you your motivation. Opjer wants the throne.”

“The throne?” Jesper asked. Leoni’s mouth dropped, and Kuwei’s soon after. It was clear Jesper wasn’t making the right connection. 

“Wait, is that what Olsson and Opjer were on about when I was in Halmhemd?” Leoni hissed. “Opjer wants to take the throne from Lantsov?”

“Lantsov is facing ills of his own. The Fjerdans are conspiring with those who want a stronger Tsar on the throne, without his witch general. The Suli have been vocal about not wanting to work with anybody but their own Chiefs. The attack on their son was calculated.” Lukas frowned. “What concerns me more is they are hoping to use the Kerch to keep Novyi Zem away. By starting a Fjerdan-backed war between the Kerch and Zemeni, they are free to wipe out the Suli and take Os Alta for their own. The country is doomed.”

Jesper looked at Leoni, a hundred emotions playing on her face and in her eyes. “That would be a disaster. The Shu would almost certainly get involved as well. It would be the border wars all over again.”

“But with deadlier weapons,” Sefu whispered.

The five of them fell silent. 

“I need to report back to Atiena,” Leoni finally said quietly. “The summit can’t solve all of this.”

“I was young during the last war,” Kuwei said. His voice was so small. “But it was awful. I remember that much.”

Leoni rubbed her hands over her strange face. “I’ve seen what it does to people. What it takes away. It eats at the soul of a country. It certainly did to Ravka. We can’t let this happen.”

“What can we do?” Sefu asked. His voice was low and soft, barely discernible above the din of the tavern. “I mean. You are all trained zowa. You can do something. You’ve been places.” He ran his free hand over his beard. “I belong in a library.”

“You’re incredible,” Jesper immediately defended. “But I don’t think any of us are prepared for this. This is what the Council needs to hear. The Elder Council.” 

They all nodded, and staggered their exit. Lukas left first, and then Leoni and Kuwei. Then it was just Jesper with Sefu. He knew he should move - but against the Kerch winter, Sefu’s body was warm and comforting. When Sefu offered a drink of his beer, Jesper took them. Not because he liked the taste - he found it pretty vile as far as alcoholic beverages - but because he liked sharing with him. He was able to pretend that they were simply out. Maybe they were courting each other back home, in a world where there weren’t terrorist attacks and international summits of world-changing importance.

Sefu’s arm became tighter around Jesper’s shoulder, his thumb tracing circles. He suddenly wished that the two of them weren’t in full view of half the Zemeni quarter, that he could taste the lips he dreamed about. Instead, Jesper cleared his throat and dropped his eyes. “We should probably go back.”

Sefu nodded, but not before pressing a kiss to Jesper’s cheek that made his heart beat faster. It was chaste and sweet, but it still made Jesper’s chest ache.

They walked back in comfortable silence, Jesper switching the material of his coin and breathing the way Sefu taught him to, to keep his head balanced. Sefu was always great at reminding Jesper to take his medicine in the morning when they woke up. Never admonishing, even when Jesper was halfway out the door. 

At the Van Eck mansion things were in full swing. The lights were all on and there were people milling about outside smoking jurda cigarettes. He saw Atiena out there among them, speaking with Leoni. She waved at Jesper as he walked by, but otherwise barely noticed him. Zakhir was inside playing cards with Alys and a couple other people, talking to Maya in Suli every so often. Despite the sobering news from earlier, things were in full swing. 

Jesper tried to turn the opposite direction when he saw Adrik walking his way. But a bitter slice of cold air entering his lips made him halt. 

Adrik was a good few inches shorter than him, but the hard set of his sharp chin was enough to scare Jesper. “You let Leoni go into a Fjerdan hotel by herself?”

“She insisted,” Jesper said weakly. “Right?”

Sefu raised his hands up. “Don’t involve me.”

“I might have one arm but I’ll still beat you with the other,” Adrik threatened. Jesper believed it. Adrik went outside with purposeful strides, thankfully away from Jesper. He liked the Ravkan man, but mostly when he was around Leoni and relaxed. That was when he didn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“I’m tired, I’m going to head to bed,” Sefu said. It was still early, but Jesper knew such large gatherings could make him anxious. 

“I’ll meet you there later,” he said without a second thought. Sefu squeezed his hand and as he pulled away, Jesper caught sight of the last person he wanted to see.

Wylan was looking curiously between them. Jesper managed a small wave. Wylan waved back, and then ducked into what had been refurbished into a new office by the time Jesper left. He waited a moment before following.

Wylan looked exactly the same, but completely different to Jesper. Maybe it was the time spent apart, or maybe it was all the growth he’d done over the past months. Wylan was a little taller - maybe that final growth spurt he so desperately needed. He held himself with less insecurity. Something in the shoulders reminded Jesper of Kaz. He frowned.

“You look well, Jesper,” Wylan said. His voice was raw. 

“You too,” he responded. He didn’t know what else to say.

Wylan tucked a hair behind his ear. His loose strawberry blonde hair was cut short. For the first time, Jesper felt he was able to be objective about Wylan. He was handsome, he would never doubt that. But his face felt too delicate, too soft for the life that he lived now. Where he could ride his horse on the Zemeni savannah and then spend the night with friends out by the harbor. To turn the earth inside out to plant crops. He had seen it a bit, when Wylan visited. How he preferred to cheer Jesper up from the sidelines under the shade of pompom and acacia trees. 

“It looks like everyone is settling in,” wylan continued blandly.

Jesper nodded. “I think so. Thank you for that.”

The silence stretched on. “Jesper I’m -”

“Not now,” he cut off. “Maybe later. But not now.”

Wylan nodded. “Still. I’m sorry. I wish things were different. Between us.”

Jesper wasn’t sure he felt the same way anymore.


	28. The Banya

Leoni sat on the floor of a large entertaining room with Adrik, putting shea butter on her scrubbed limbs. The Zemeni delegation was around, picking outfits for the opening of the Summit. They were all in their undergarments, racks of clothes in front of each of them with a name on each one. Leoni glanced at Adrik’s, all in cool colors to match his coloring and bring out his eyes.

Leoni pulled herself up to sift through her own rack of clothes. Alys was in the room, clearly uncomfortable with the amount of skin showing. Leoni didn’t see what the big deal was, but she figured Ketterdam was much cooler than the semi-tropical climate back home. She held up a gorgeous dress that was on the conservative side, and matched an agbada on Adrik’s rack well. “What do you think?” she asked him. 

Between her immediate debriefing with Atiena and Adrik’s long hours, they hadn’t been able to talk about his time translating. And he was equally antsy.

“You’d look gorgeous in a sack.” 

“That’s more or less what dresses are,” she teased. 

Adrik smiled at that. She moved both her picks to the front so they could try it on and be approved by the Council. Zemenis were fastidious about appearances at international gatherings, especially where Ravkans were involved. “I feel rather naked,” Adrik commented. “I guess I’m not rid of my Ravkan sensibilities.”

“Just pretend we’re in a  _ banya  _ instead.” 

His cheeks pinked and she grinned. “Besides you’re more dressed than the rest of us - you’ve got an arm on.” 

“I feel very pink in comparison,” he said, looking around at the Zemenis. 

“Well you are very pink in comparison.” She sat back down next to him, putting a head on his shoulder. “You can content yourself knowing that as a zowa, you are at least more attractive than the general population. Especially to me. I think that’s all that matters.”

Adrik nodded. “Speaking of bathhouses. I did find one. Would you like to go tonight?” 

She nodded. The opening day was going to be a stressful one. And they could talk more about what happened. About who he saw. And have some time to themselves. She wished she was able to talk to Healer Kalashnik, but instead she would have to try all the exercises they practiced over the months. Or she could ask Sefu to calm her down again, to lower her heart rate just a bit below normal before the summit.

As Atiena waltzed by, she looked at the outfits critically and then back to the couple. “Looks great. Make sure you go over your summit itinerary tonight, some things have changed.” Then she left. Leoni glanced at the woman. She seemed to have Suli henna on her hand, visible more so on the palms than the back of it. It was something that surprised Leoni. But the meaning behind it was completely lost on her. 

Back in their room, Leoni looked at the neat sheet of paper, in fastidious handwriting. It was mostly what she expected - she would be acting as a translator occasionally, and in others she was expected to go as simply part of the Zemeni delegation. Leoni had been a spy long enough to know what that meant - she was to attend and listen. To find out what she could. 

There was one meeting that was left blank, in several days time. The guests weren’t listed like others, and it also appeared on Adrik’s schedule. “Are we going to be murdered by Ravkans?” she asked. Adrik gave her a sharp look, seeing clearly through the jest.

“You know I would turn their lungs into the size of a pea if they look at you wrong. I’m sure it’s a sensitive meeting. You’re overthinking it. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” He held his itinerary up to hers. “Except when you’re sitting with the… High Tea? Tea sounds a lot better than this fishing trip with Fjerdans.”

“Remember when Mila would come back from the cannery?”

Adrik made a choking noise. “Couldn’t get the fish stench out from the rented room for days.” 

They laughed at the memory. It was right up there as the time when they got stuck in the mud and had to fix it, half-covered in filth by the time they rolled into the next town. Once she committed the next day’s schedule to memory, Leoni changed into a simple work-dress and flats, with a subtle wax print coat lined with fur against the cold. Adrik didn’t need nearly as many layers as she did, a fact she somewhat resented. 

Walking arm in arm with Adrik, she kept her head down this time and hood up. If people were making assumptions again, she didn’t want to hear it. Adrik’s gait, always slightly uneven when he didn’t have on his prosthetic, was a comfort to her. She tapped her teeth lightly along to its rhythm, as he muttered directions and street signs.

By the time they arrived, Leoni was relaxing. The next day wouldn’t be so bad - it was a lot of formal festivities, where they would watch the local Staadwatch and examples of Kerch tradition. Leoni figured the whole thing would be a show of wealth and completely boring. Ketterdam’s aesthetics weren’t exactly inspiring. It made the facades of Os Alta seem like a masterpiece.

“Here we are,” said Adrik. He looked rather pleased with himself. The man at the front spoke to Adrik in Ravkan, his accent thick from the countryside. “My fiance and I have a reservation for a private room,” Adrik said. The man nodded. “I haven’t been in a  _ banya _ in ages,” Adrik murmured. “The weather is perfect for it too?”

“Drizzly and cold?” Leoni said, rolling her eyes. Leoni palmed the man a decent amount of kruge. “Please make sure we are not interrupted,” she said with a wink in Ravkan. The man’s eyes widened in recognition and he nodded.

Stripped of clothing and in the sauna, Leoni had to admit it was a great idea to spend the night before the gathering there. She thought back to her time in the Little Palace, when the girls would get together and go in a group, giggling and spreading palace gossip. “You look happy,” she stated. It was a fact. His shoulders were relaxed as he stretched out on the wooden seats. “What’s going through your head, Sankt Adrik?”

Adrik opened his eyes and smiled at her. A small, sweet smile she learned to recognize and love. “I want to go into the baths, and I want to tell you about everything I’ve been up to.”

They moved into the small indoor pool, the waters kept a specific temperature by grisha who worked behind the scenes. Leoni dipped her chin down into the water, Adrik with his arms back against the floor. Her ear popped as Adrik lowered the pressure in the room - his powers had grown significantly since he moved to Nyota Heri and it took barely a tilt of his hand to do so. “I didn’t see our good friend Nikolai or Zoya. They had me translating for the Ravkan security detail.”

Leoni started. “Tamar and Tolya?”

Adrik nodded. “My sister is here, Leoni. They wouldn’t talk to me, not really. Not without being extremely rude. But Tolya told me. I think Tamar is still angry at me.” He frowned, his green eyes looking glassy for a moment. Leoni’s heart broke. “But she’s here.”

Leoni swam up and put her chin on his shoulder, hugging him from behind. “We’ll try to find her okay? If you know their security, all the better to break it with.”

“I thought we said no international incidents,  _ solnyshko, _ ” he said. 

She chuckled. “You are right. “We’ll get a letter to her.”

“Something has Tamar worried. The security for the evening events were higher than I’ve seen before in Ravka.”

“Is the entire Triumvirate here?” she asked.

“No. Just Zoya - Genya and David had to stay behind. I know you were hoping to see him.” 

“I think he would like some of the things I’ve done,” she admitted. David had been a good mentor to her, when she finally pestered him into relenting. “But it is nothing compared to Nadia.” Leoni knew that Adrik was desperately hoping Nadia could come to Nyota Heri for their wedding. The big question - if Nikolai would allow her to when the time came. “We’ll make it happen.” She kissed his cheek.

Her mind raced with potential ways to get to Nadia, until Adrik insistently distracted her for the rest of their time. Feeling refreshed, they headed back to Geldstraat and the Van Eck mansion. Immediately, there was the sound of a very loud commotion. Glancing at each other, Leoni and Adrik walked towards the source.

Atiena and Jesper were  _ screaming _ at each other. Hands were waving and fingers were pointing, while Zakhir and Sefu sat watching in amusement. Others milled about chuckling, and Leoni looked down at the table. Dominos.

Atiena slammed a fist down on the table, causing a couple of Zakhir’s dominos to fall flat and reveal them. He gaped open-mouthed at Atiena before joining the fray. 

“What is happening?” Adrik asked. His eyes were wide.

“Dominos argument,” Leoni said. She quickly did the calculating. By the looks of it, they had been arguing for a solid few minutes. “It's best not to get involved.”

“If I catch you cheating, and your pattern, you have to undo it!” Atiena said. “That’s the rule!”

“No,” Jesper cut her off. “If I get away with it, then you have to accept that you weren’t smart enough to catch it the first time.”

“Absolutely  _ not, _ ” Atiena retorted. “And you didn’t get away with it, I caught you!”

“But you kept playing after those moves, so it sticks.”

Zakhir cleared his throat. “You should let it go,” he said sweetly to Atiena. “After all, you’ve cheated at least a dozen times.”

There was an explosion of more noise and accusations.

As they went up the exhausting Ketterdam stairs, she heard Sefu interrupt them. “Wait, you all are cheating?”

Back in their room, Leoni rummaged through her trunk until she found the sleek teak box she was looking for. “I know you’re probably tired of me doing this for every occasion but I couldn’t help it.” She extended it out to Adrik, who gave her a knowing look. 

“Another one?”

“Just look!” She said, waving her hand at him. He set the box on the bed and unlatched it. Adrik was right, of course. 

She had made him another arm, at the same time she made the flesh-like one. But where most of the time she worked with metal, this was her first foray into wood. It had dark gunmetal components with driftwood fabrikated to be resistant to the elements. She smiled as Adrik furrowed his brows, raising the strap over his head and securing the second across his chest. “Every time I think you can’t outdo yourself,” he said breathlessly. “You surprise me.”

“For the summit,” she said. “The patterns along the inside of the arm are both Zemeni and the Ravkan squaller symbols,” she pointed out. “I thought you should have both. And it will match all your outfits. 

“You’re making me look like a terrible fiance  _ solnyshko, _ ” Adrik tutted. “I didn’t get you a welcome-to-a-terrifyingly-big-political-event gift.” 

“Into the belly of the beast,” she said. “It’s like Halmhemd all over again.”

“We’ll cut our way out again if need be,” he assured.


	29. A Spy and a Sharpshooter

Leoni was up well over an hour before Adrik, sipping on coffee delivered to the dumbwaiter in the hallway, and sitting with Atiena. They were touching up each other’s braids in the silence of the morning, and she appreciated the calm before the storm. The familiar tug on her scalp was a distraction from the summit, her twists sleek again. Atiena switched places so Leoni could redo her twisted knots, running shea butter through the other woman’s dense curls. When they finished, Atiena pulled out a wooden box.

“Accessories,” she said. “Help yourself, Leoni.”

Leoni opened it and saw an array of gorgeous materials. “Are you sure?” she asked, even as her fingers ran along them.

There were shells, sea glass, gold, pearls, all manner of jewels she could clip onto her twists. She chose sea glass and pearls to weave, wrapping some individual strands of hair in silver wire. Atiena added some makeup to her face, brushing the fine dust along her cheeks and some other shimmery substance along her eyelids. When Leoni looked at her reflection in the mirror, she smiled. 

“Beautiful,” Atiena said with a kiss on her cheek. Leoni noticed the art on her hands had yet to fade. Her fingertips were dipped and the repeating patterns on her palms going up her arms were exquisite. 

“Did a _bahandi_ do those?” she asked. 

“No, surprisingly,” Atiena said with a little smile. “It was agonizing sitting still for so long. But are you ready?”

“I think so,” Leoni said. “I’m not exactly sure what to expect.”

“Just smile and listen,” Atiena said with a shrug. “The less they know about us, the more powerful we are.”

Leoni would take that to heart. Part of the way she survived as a spy for so many years was by giving up all the truthful parts of herself.  _ You don’t have to, _ she reminded herself. She gave Atiena a hug, leaving the woman to get ready with others. By the time she returned, Adrik was stirring and finishing up in the wash room.

“Good morning  _ solnyshko, _ ” he said, his voice sleepy. Their outfits were laid out on the guest bed, freshly pressed by the Van Eck staff. Leoni’s outfit was a simple but stunning kanga dress, while Adrik wore a Kerch-style suit with a vest that matched her dress pattern. She had gotten used to Zemeni silhouettes on him over the past months but had to admit the suit, coupled with a richly dyed double-breasted jacket made for him, cut a dashing figure. 

Downstairs, everyone else was in an array of colors. Beautiful jackets, scarves, turbans, and dresses made a dazzling display of Zemeni elegance and wealth. Adrik offered his prosthetic arm to her as they went to their personal tram, each escorted by security hired by Van Eck. 

The giant building where the delegations met was busy. Security was busy keeping away onlookers, who ranged from small children to pickpockets to curious adults. Leoni waved at the children she saw. She saw Brigid with a few of the Kaelish delegation. Her shock of bright red coily hair made her stand out even among colorful people. 

Leoni lined up to be patted down by big-looking Kerch men at the doors. When their hands passed near the revolver at her waist, he raised an eyebrow and she palmed him a hundred kruge. He continued and tucked the money into his lapel, motioning for her to continue. Inside they were transported to an industrial and brutal indoor plaza. 

The symbols of Ghezen were laid into pillars. Industry and commerce. Leoni thought that was a rather dull method of worship. There was a grand staircase that lead up to more hallways and presumably rooms. The marble floor looked expensive. And the austere aesthetic was played out along the walls too. She caught flashes of other delegations in the clothing. Adrik instinctively drew her closer when a member of the Fjerdan group turned to look at them. 

The Zemeni ambassador to Kerch summoned them all to an area to read the Councils welcome. The Northern Zemeni man had bronzed brown skin with wavy dark curly hair cut to his chin. He wore a djelballa and had a charming smile. “Hello, thank you for joining me.” His eyes darted over to Atiena who was radiating hostility. Not a good sign. “My name is Rezki Masri. I have been the ambassador here for a couple years to replace my father.”

Leoni began to zone out, instead focusing on her surroundings and what was going on. Sefu looked ill, as Atiena’s thinly-veiled murderous look was directly at the ambassador. She turned around to study the room, making eye contact with none other than Tolya Yul-Bataar.

The large man, dressed in a formal dignitary kefta, looked just as surprised as she felt. Leoni fought the instinct to recoil and he narrowed his eyebrows together. Tolya was the same height as Sefu, and 100x more imposing especially with the twin axes he usually carried. He went to move his hand and Leoni quickly looked away, moving closer to Adrik again. She shifted her focus to the Fjerdan delegation. 

That was when she noticed something interesting. Instead of there only being the typical Fjerdan men - pale skin, light hair, light eyes, she saw flashes of light to medium brown skin, thick black hair, and exquisite fur-lined outfits. Hedjut. 

Leoni wracked her brain for anything she remembered from Fjerda, and the rumors. If the Hedjut broke their decades-long silence on Fjerdan international fairs, it was suspiciously timed with the Nui’ians also returning. She didn’t see the familiar balding head of Jarl Brum, but she did see Chuku-as-Lukas among them.  _ We have allies, _ she reminded herself.

The rest of the morning was fairly boring. Leoni was situated at a table with the Fjerdan ambassador to Kerch, Chuku-as-Lukas, and a couple other people. She ignored the Fjerdan ambassador glaring daggers at her, which answered the question of if he knew who she was. There wasn’t much conversation, with Chuku undercover. He gave her disdainful looks as well, but she didn’t take it to heart. She couldn’t very well start a conversation by saying “I’m not sorry for murdering a human trafficker you may or may not have been friends with.”

She kept her back straight and hands still, always maintaining a pleasant and passive smile on her face. Adrik was slightly out of sight, but Leoni caught the way he leaned back every so often so they could catch glimpses at each other. Leoni made a map in her head of the important people, figuring out the ways they were all connected. There were little hints of course. A sly look between lovers, a disdainful eye roll when another’s back was turned. All the things she’d been trained to observe in school. Even becoming a Saint in Fjerda didn’t strip her of that.

When a pretty Kerch girl moved to introduce herself to Adrik during the breakfast, Leoni tucked away her personal feelings. She had complete faith in Adrik, who was nodding politely. That was when Leoni caught the way she slipped a hand into his pocket and palmed something.  _ Like hell will you steal from my fiance, _ Leoni thought.

“Excuse me gentlemen,” Leoni said in perfect Fjerdan. “I will return soon. I trust you will not poison my food,” she added in a sweet smile. Chuku-as-Lukas let out a hefty cough that may have looked guilty to anyone that didn’t know his true identity. 

Turning on her heel, she followed the Kerch woman as she walked down a hallway. Leoni held onto her long twists to keep the jewels from rattling. As the woman ducked into the woman’s wash closet she opened the door.

The Kerch girl jumped as the door slammed, holding the folded piece of paper in her hand. Leoni quickly saw that it was Adrik’s schedule. 

“I don’t believe that belongs to you,” Leoni said. 

The girl had mousy brown hair and hazel eyes, dressed in the outfits of Kerch workers assisting in the event. “I’m sorry!” she squeaked. She couldn’t have been more than fifteen. “I -”

“Who paid you?” Leoni asked. “I’m not going to hurt you unless you hurt me or the Zemenis. But you better tell me who paid you.” 

The girl fidgeted, clearly mulling it over.

“I’ll pay you,” Leoni sighed. “Fifty kruge.”

The girl swallowed thickly. “I want to see it first.”

Leoni let out a long-suffering sigh as she reached into a secret compartment in her dress. At this point she was going to completely run out of her per diem allotted for the trip. When the girl counted it carefully, she finally put Adrik’s schedule on the table. “Kaz Brekker,” she said, then darted out of the wash closet.

Kaz Brekker was a name that meant very little to her. The games of gangsters in a city wasn’t much compared to the international chess pieces of espionage, but she knew who it did mean something to. Who had warned her about him.

She waited out her uncomfortable brunch table with a cheery smile until they were able to reconvene. “Jesper,” she said sweetly as she found him in the indoor plaza. 

Jesper turned around, and the nervous energy was radiating off of him. “Leoni!” He sighed in relief. “Can we get some air?” 

“That’s a great idea.”

* * * * *

Jesper was overwhelmed. The amount of wealth, of important people, of dignitaries was incomprehensible to him. Being in Ketterdam on the “other side” was something Jesper had never expected to do in a million years. He recognized some of Kerch’s important people from his fake oil presentation, but they had introduced themselves for the first time. After all, he was a millionaire now too, and people cared more about the fact he owned one of the most lucrative jurda farms in the world than some petty criminal background. He had underestimated how well-known the Fahey farm had become in recent years, especially with the explosion of interest in jurda farming. 

And he hated it.

Out on the balcony, he was able to stroll with Leoni arm-in-arm. She knew how to play the game better than he did - she remembered everyone’s name, she smiled and bowed or curtsied depending on the culture, and was up to date on all the politics of each region. So he simply tried to follow her example. 

When they were finally a safe distance apart, Leoni turned to him. “Is Kuwei safe?”

“Probably as safe as can be,” Jesper said honestly. “He’s back at the Van Eck mansion with some other Zemenis before he travels to Ol’Umoyana in a couple days.”

“Alright. I know everything blew over with his parem debacle, but we have another issue Jesper.” He raised his eyebrows as she pulled out a piece of paper. “This is Adrik’s schedule. He was pickpocketed by a young girl who claims to be working for Kaz Brekker.”

It was like a stone had been dropped into his stomach. He stared at Leoni’s big eyes, his mouth flailing like a fish. Jesper knew Kaz would make an appearance at some point but this way? It meant Kaz was tracking the Zemeni delegation. It meant Kaz was tracking  _ him _ . His fingers slipped into his pocket and manipulated his trusty coin. “You’re sure?”

“It’s a pretty ridiculous name, I don’t think I misheard it,” Leoni said with a smile. “But why does he care about Adrik?”

“Who knows why Kaz does anything,” Jesper grumbled. 

“Do you think he’s just trying to be annoying, or that he has a more,” she moved her hands around trying to think of a world. “Nefarious purpose?”

“Definitely both,” Jesper said. He began rolling the coin in between his fingers. “At any point if he can be annoying and nefarious, that’s probably him.”

“Any idea what he could want?”

“Money and power,” Jesper said. “And power over people. I burned the last letter I ever got from him. I haven’t had any contact with Ketterdam really since Wylan broke up with me.”

“He broke up with you?” Leoni asked. 

Jesper wished people would stop asking that question. “He did.”

“Did he break up with you after you refused to talk to Kaz?”

“Sort of,” Jesper said. “I mean, he visited and went back to Ketterdam. And then there was the embargo. It was everything.” But now there was a nagging voice in his head. Kaz wouldn’t do that. Kaz, who had seen Jesper as something of a brother. The ghost of Jordie, between the two of them. “He wouldn’t do that.”

Leoni shrugged. “Either way, he interfered with my fiance so now this is personal Jesper. Atiena is busy with murder plots from other countries, I would like to figure this out for ourselves.”

Jesper nodded. It was only fair - this was his past rearing its head, and he couldn’t let it interfere with whatever plans Atiena and the council had for Fjerda, Ravka, and Kerch. This was so far beneath them. 

When the events of the night ended, Atiena went off to more social functions, and Jesper returned back to the mansion with Leoni. Wylan was nowhere to be found, but Alys was more than eager to sit down with the two of them. “Where is your fiance?” Alys asked Leoni with a knowing look. 

“Working as a translator,” Leoni smiled. “Actually we’re more curious about Wylan. Is he home?”

Alys looked at Jesper with wide eyes.  _ Ghezen, _ he swore. The pity was too much. “It’s fine, Alys. I’m over him.”

“Well I suppose you do have that other strapping young man with you,” Alys sniffed, but there was a mischievous look in her eyes. Jesper was overcome with embarassent. “Sefu? Seems sweet at least and -”

“It’s not about my relationships,” he interrupted. “I just need to talk to him about his business.”

“Oh!” Alys looked slightly disappointed. “I think he said he was going to check on the club.”

_ Fuck, _ Jesper thought. Of course he was. “Thank you Alys.”

He gave Leoni a chance to change into a simple mid-calf dress with a long wool coat on top, and him into a plain pair of slacks with a button down shirt. She strapped a rifle to her back and tucked small pouches into the lining of her coat. “Just in case,” she said, before fastening her hair into a large bun on her head. 

Leoni was completely transformed in front of him this way. Gone was the flattering young woman who knew exactly how to make the people around her smile. With the gun, the worn boots, and high-necked jacket he was able to remember that she was a Ravkan and Zemeni trained agent, that she could shoot a rifle as well as he shot his revolvers but had the tenacity he lacked. 

Armed with his own guns, they set out into the Ketterdam streets. The later at night it got, the less conspicuous Leoni looked with her Zemeni rifle on her back, the Staadwatch barely glancing their way. She could have tailored their faces, she was certainly talented enough, but Jesper didn’t think it was necessary. The authority looked away, until it hurt their pockets.

They followed the familiar streets to the Barrel, Jesper’s anxiety rising as they did so. They were a couple blocks from the Crow Club when Leoni leaned in towards him. “We’re being followed,” she whispered. 

The two of them quickly turned a corner, Jesper holding his revolver up, the footsteps came closer and then the man turned the corner he aimed his revolver at his head.

“Please don’t shoot me,” Sefu said.

Leoni’s shoulders relaxed. “Sefu! You can’t sneak up on people like that.”

“I wanted to make sure you two were safe,” Sefu said, his eyes meeting Jesper’s. “Apologies.”

“It’s fine,” Jesper responded. “Thank you.” His heart beat slowed down, but it wasn’t because of Sefu’s touch as an  _ umphulukisi _ . It was just his presence, protective and warm as usual. It wouldn’t hurt to have a zowa with them who could stop Kaz’s heart if he got a bit too murderous. “We’re about to go visit some old friends.”

“If you have Sefu with you, I can wait outside,” Leoni stated. “Draw him outside, and then I’ll be able to watch and make sure you’re okay the whole time.”

It was just like having Inej watch his back. Jesper smiled. “That’s a great idea.”

Leoni climbed up one of the fire escapes on the side of the building across from the Crow Club as Jesper and Sefu made their way to the front door. It smelled the same. It felt the same. It even sounded the same - people gambling and drinking and sending their kruge straight into Kaz’s pockets. He had been one of them. All those generous ‘lines of credit’ he had been given simply funneled his money straight back into the Dregs. Not really a reward for work well done. 

“You’re okay,” Sefu whispered to him. The words were like honey. He was. That was his past life. He shouldn’t be resentful. 

At the door he saw a familiar face. “Anika!” he said.

“Jesper fucking Fahey,” she said. There was a reluctant grin on her face. “Never thought I’d see your face here again.”

“Me either. Tell Kaz and Wylan I’m here to talk to them,” he said.

“Do you know everyone in this city?” Sefu asked under his voice to him. 

Anika looked at Sefu curiously. “Big guy here. I’ll send someone to ask,” she replied. 

The sound of cards and dice hitting the table was intoxicating. But he focused on the fresh air, on the warmth radiating off of Sefu’s body next to him. If Sefu had a weapon he didn’t see it, which made Jesper glad for Leoni somewhere up above keeping an eye out for them. 

“Jesper,” came a familiar raspy voice in Kerch. Jesper straightened, and Sefu protectively stepped forward. Wylan was next to Kaz, looking wide-eyed and glancing between the two Zemenis. “What took you so long?”


	30. An Evening in Ketterdam

Kaz looked the same, at least initially. Jesper saw his thin frame, his fitted suit, and the tell-tale bruises around his medium brown eyes. But it was still alarming - Jesper hadn’t been prepared for the anger coming off of Kaz in waves. Sefu, to his credit, looked like he was about to step forward and throttle Kaz himself. 

Wylan was the first one to break the silence “Why don’t we go inside -”

“Be quiet,” Kaz cut him off. “You’ve been here for over a week, and only now you visit? One would almost think you’re avoiding me.”

“I’m sorry,” Jesper said. “Are you  _ hurt _ over this?”

Kaz stiffened. “No. Just surprised.” But that was enough for Jesper to see the crack. Suddenly Kaz didn’t seem just angry. He was a wounded animal. But why? “This must be the Kaboyonga brother I heard so much about.”

Sefu narrowed his eyes at the sound of his last name. “Bird boy,” he said.

Jesper had to stifle a laugh. “Bird boy.”

Kaz, to his credit, now looked like a disgruntled bird. This was not the way Jesper had expected their reunion to go at all. Hell, all he’d had was the worst scenarios playing through his head for months. Jesper didn’t have his dregs tattoo anymore. But he had to fight against the part of him that feared Kaz and look at what was actually in front of him. 

Just a 20 year old boy. Like him. When he was 15, 16 years old, Jesper had thought Kaz was the most important thing in the world, the most intimidating thing ever. But now Jesper had run with the likes of Atiena Kaboyonga, and others on the youth council like Fatima, Nandi, and Lwazi. He’d seen undercover agents in Fjerda who used their disabilities to their advantage. He’d seen Leoni rise to sainthood in a country that wasn’t hers.

He wasn’t scared anymore. “Why are you pickpocketing my friends?” he asked.

“Friends or not, a mark is a mark. They shouldn’t make it so easy.”

“Did you have anything to do with the poisoning of the Suli representative?”

Kaz stiffened. “No.”

The way he reacted told Jesper what he needed - Inej had come to talk to him already. It stood to reason then that Kaz knew somewhat what Jesper had been up to, hobbled with whatever Wylan told him. 

“Whatever you have going on, you need to stay away from the Zemenis at the summit, and those of us under our protection,” Jesper said with what he hoped was a steady voice. “If you have a problem with me, it’s with me Kaz.”

Kaz looked between Sefu and Jesper. There was something stirring in his eyes that Jesper didn’t quite understand. But it didn’t matter, not really. He was done being at the whims of anyone other than himself. Jesper palmed the coin, feeling the power and strength in him. Jesper survived parem without sacrificing his new powers like Nina, which had morphed into something monstrous. What the Ravkans called  _ merzost. _ He had found the cure himself, and now zowa wouldn’t be dying. His mother hummed on his wrist, with him always and feeding into him. He had the strength of his Zemeni ancestors, the love of his Kaelish grandparents and extended family in Kerry. 

What was Kaz compared to all of that? Or Wylan? 

“Nothing happens in this city without me knowing,” Kaz shot back.

Jesper sighed. “I know. But I don’t fucking care about Ketterdam anymore, Kaz. There’s a huge world beyond Fifth Harbour with more important things going on. Where I’m doing good.” With people who valued him, like the two Zemenis with him tonight. “I’ve seen an entire city made out of red stone and a woman who creates storms.” He’d witnessed what should very well be considered miracles. 

Kaz didn’t have an immediate response. If anything, his face looked unsure for a moment. “Well none of that matters. I’m only meeting you because the Fjerdans are up to something, and we generally don’t have a good experience with their meddling.” He sniffed and reached inside his jacket pocket, pulling out an invitation.

There was a gunshot that caused Jesper to flinch. Kaz had ducked slightly and then looked up where it came from. “Can you tell your gunman to stand down? And that maybe he can aim a bit better next time?”

A cheerful voice rang from above. “Didn’t miss! And it’s she!”

Jesper and Kaz looked to the side and saw that the edge of the paper had been clipped. He had to purse his lips together to keep from laughing. Leoni had become a crack shot since he started tutoring her in marksmanship. “I stand corrected,” Kaz said. “This is an invitation to an event the rest of us will be at. I think it’s time we all chat.”

“We?” Jesper asked, his heart racing. 

“We.”

Jesper frowned. “I don’t see why.”

“We generally find out the answers to tricky questions better together,” Kaz said bitterly. “Whatever this Magnus Opjer is up to, I don’t trust him.”

Opjer, again. “It’s not just the Fjerdans,” Jesper said. “It’s the Kerch too. And until I can be sure you won’t harm anyone in our party or sell our information to the highest bidder, I can’t promise I’ll be there.”

“Jesper,” Wylan finally said. His blue eyes were bright, and he looked nervous. Was he Kaz’s new second? Armed with bombs to gang meetings instead of guns? He had to stop thinking about it. About what it meant for the Dregs. He wasn’t one of them anymore. “Please?”

Resentment built up deep in his stomach. Jesper didn’t owe Wylan shit. “I’ll think about it.” He leaned into Sefu and quickly explained what they were talking about. Sefu for his part kept his face neutral and nodded, only glancing at the Kerch for a moment. “I think you should do it,” Sefu whispered.

“You think so?” Jesper said, looking at Kaz and Wylan, who both seemed irritated he was speaking Zemeni. Good. Jesper liked speaking his first language. And he didn’t want to make Sefu and Leoni uncomfortable by speaking something else. He could translate later. Maybe Wylan should have tried learning more Zemeni. Or Kaz.

“You have nothing to lose. I don’t mind waiting for you.” 

Jesper gave a quick nod. They could hash out the details later. He needed to handle his shit before Atiena got whiff and decided to permanently seal Kaz’s mouth shut just to make him be quiet. “Fine, Kaz. I’ll send you my schedule.”

Kaz looked miffed at the response but nodded as well. He went back into the club with a rap on the door with his cane. Wylan lingered you in the alley, looking between Jesper and Sefu. “A woman that can summon storms?” he asked. 

“I did. I went to the Wandering Isles. There’s real magic there. Not the small science. Things you can’t explain.” He thought about the moodiness of Brigid’s place. He hoped she was doing well, and needed to go speak with her again. Make sure she was settling in. 

“That sounds wonderful,” Wylan said, and there was no missing the wistful look in his eyes. “You look well.”

Jesper wanted to fight. To yell. To ask a million questions. But Sefu reached and put a sure hand on his shoulder. So Jesper simply looked down. “I do. But you gave up on me. On us.”

Wylan looked hurt. “It’s not that -”

“It’s exactly that, Wy.” He ran a hand through his hair. “So you wrote me a letter and decided to leave me. For no real reason. We made plans. This war won’t last forever.”

“I know,” Wylan whispered. “But it seems like it will.”

It became clear to Jesper. He was zowa. And on some level, he knew he would live a long life. His mother would have had a long life - the tragedy that she died before his Da was acute. He would have a long life, he could feel it. Wylan wasn’t zowa. One way or another something would have come between them. “I hope you’re happy,” Jesper said. “But I will see you back at the mansion. Thank you for that, for letting us stay.”

Wylan nodded. “I’m sorry Jes. I didn’t want to but. It felt like the best thing at the time.”

“You didn’t think you would see me again.”

Wylan’s shoulders slumped. “Not this soon.”

They were interrupted by the sound of feet thumping on the ground. Jesper turned to see Leoni with a wide smile on her face, rifle shouldered again. “Am I interrupting?” she asked in chipper Zemeni. She looked Wylan up and down. “I don’t like him anymore.”

Sefu coughed to disguise his laugh next to him and Wylan looked between the three frantically. “I didn’t quite understand that.”

“I am Leoni,” she said in heavily accented Kerch. “Kaz is your -” she waved her hand around, clearly trying to think of the right word. “Ruler?”

“Boss?” Wylan interjected helpfully.

“No,” Leoni said. “Ruler. Monarch. King.” she gave a false salute. 

Wylan’s face turned red and muttered. “No. He is my friend.”

Leoni looked slightly skeptical and then turned back to Jesper. “Can we go back home? I’m tired and miss Adrik.”

“Why don’t you two go ahead,” Jesper said to Leoni and Sefu. Now that he was fairly sure Kaz wasn’t going to murder him on the spot, maybe they should speak. Sefu searched Jesper’s eyes and then put an arm around Leoni’s shoulders and the two of them walked away. 

“What are the Crows really doing with the Summit, Wy?” he turned around asked. “You owe me that. Honesty.”

Wylan pressed his lips together. “We should take a walk back to Geldstraat.”

  
  



	31. Zolovka

Leoni was exhausted by the time she made it back to the Van Eck mansion, but Adrik was waiting for her by the entrance, a worried look on her face. She waved at Sefu as he went into the house before turning to her fiance. “Is everything okay?” she asked, instinctively looking around. She didn’t see anything. That should set them on edge.

“I wanted to make sure you made it back,” he said, pulling her into a hug. “Are you alright? Your note was vague and unhelpful.”

“Jesper needed my backup,” she remarked. She put her hands on either side of his face, turning his head either way so she could study him, rubbing her thumb along his cheekbones. “But something tells me you have something you need to talk to _ me _ about,” she said. 

Adrik gave her a small smile. “I can’t hide anything from you, _ solynyshko, _” he said softly, before turning his head to the side and pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist. “While you were gone I received a note.” He handed it over to her and she immediately recognized the handwriting. Tolya.

_ Adrik - _

_ I hate how things happened in Ravka. Please meet Tamar and I tonight at half past one by the First Harbour in the University District. There’s a tavern that’s open twenty-four hours for university students studying. _

_ Tolya _

“Are you going to go?” she asked him. She pulled out a pocket watch. It was half past midnight now. “You have an hour.”

“Not without you,” Adrik said. “And only if you think it’s a good idea.”

Leoni felt sick to her stomach every time she thought about Ravka and the Triumvirate. But Tolya in the Little Palace had always been warm towards Nyota Heri, and had talked to her about some of his time there. He was particularly fascinated in Zemeni folklore and mythology, taking time to discuss his newest interest with Leoni whenever he passed through the workshops. Often when he tried to talk to David about something, and the Fabrikator was buried in his work. 

The university district was close to Geldstraat and they chose to walk, Leoni not bothering to change or put her rifle away. She was getting tired of the Kerch, and filled Adrik in on her excursion to the Barrel. Adrik had an open look of disgust at her recounting. “Do these people not know how to behave?”

“No home training,” Leoni clucked. “What do you think the twins want?”

“I have no idea,” Adrik mused. “I didn’t leave Tamar on the best of terms.”

Leoni frowned deeply as she remembered their indifference in her trial. While Nikolai had casually discussed killing her. He could have raised a gun to put a bullet to her head and they wouldn’t have stopped him. _ This is for Adrik, _ she reminded herself. _ Not for you. _No matter her experience, these people had been good to him and if he wanted to see them, she would be there with a gun in her hand and knowing the Zemeni government backed her up. If anything happened to her, Atiena would probably declare war herself.

They arrived at the tavern early - it had several tired-looking university students nursing drinks with piles of papers in front of them, or books. Leoni sometimes missed her rigorous schooling, which had taken her across the Zemeni continent for many years, seeing the best her people had to offer. 

“Does Ketterdam have anything other than gambling dens, taverns, and brothels?” she muttered to herself as they sat in the corner. Adrik chuckled at that. “Apparently they also have a university, terrible politicians, and gangs.”

Leoni ordered them a couple non alcoholic beverages and brought them to the table, curling up against him. She always felt more secure around him, especially when dealing with Ravkans. She was confident he would never let her be harmed. But when she saw the Shu twins, dressed in casual keftas, a part of her shrank away. The last time she had seen them, they were flanking their Tsar.

But the third person who walked in was unexpected, and even Adrik gasped. “Nadia?”

“Bratishka!” she cried out. She ran up to their table and Adrik stood as quickly as possible to clamber out, the two of them embracing in a tight hug. They spoke in Ravkan so fast, Leoni could barely keep up. Nadia ran her hands on his face, his shoulders, looking up him and down as if she couldn’t believe he were there. Then she turned to Leoni, reaching a hand out to her. “Nevestka,” she said affectionately. Sister-in-law.

“Zolovka,” Leoni replied, her eyes filling with tears. Tamar and Tolya stood to the side as Nadia hugged her tightly too, and Leoni felt a lot more at ease. Adrik had tears streaming down his face at the sight of his sister. Fear was replaced by guilt - it was her fault the siblings had been separated for so long. It wasn’t the same for her - she often forgot she had an toddler brother, who her parents gave birth to during her long stint in Ravka.

The three Ravkans sat down with Leoni and Adrik, Nadia pinching Adrik’s cheek and arm every so often to make sure he was real. His face flushed red but he had a sheepish smile, even when he lightly smacked her hand away.

“Tolya saw you at the opening event and told me. I knew I needed to see you.”

“Nikolai has us under pretty tight control,” Tamar said. She looked at Leoni, who quickly glanced away from her. “But we know how to sneak around too,” she commented lightly. “He is more preoccupied with other things,” Tamar said. 

There was an uncomfortable silence that passed when Nadia began sobbing and hugged Adrik again. “I missed you so much,” she sniffed. “I was so worried about you. All of our news from Novyi Zem is controlled,” she said.

“Nyota Heri,” Adrik gently corrected. “And what do you mean?”

“Normally we have news, but ever since the borders closed, we hear very little. Not even from traders.”

“We hear plenty from you,” Leoni muttered quietly. Then she spoke up. “That’s what a blockade is.”

“But this is more than that,” Tolya mused. “We expected something, after the plans were sold. All we know on our side about the blockade is there are some pissed off Zemenis.”

Leoni bristled. “Just some _ pissed off Zemenis? _” Her guilt and fear was quickly giving way to anger. “What about the dead Zemenis, and refugees from Ravka and Fjerda?”

“The three Ravkans stared at her. “Refugees?” Tolya asked.

“The boats of refugees who are dead, and Zemeni citizens, thanks to Ravkan technology.”

Tamar waved her away. “Ravka has been busy with their own -”

“Don’t brush me off, Bataar,” Leoni shot back. “Your own brother-in-law can tell you how we were attacked by ismryz’ya. You must have known the Kerch and Fjerdans would be using it against us.”

Tamar blinked. “Adrik is this true?”

It didn’t escape Leoni how they didn’t believe her, but Adrik put his arm protectively around Leoni’s shoulder. “She’s right. Zemeni ships and people have been attacked frequently in the last year in terrorist attacks.”

“Nikolai said he wasn’t giving the Kerch the plans,” Tamar hissed at Nadia. 

“He said he wasn’t! David and I were both there -”

“Then he lied,” Tolya said plainly. “He made it clear he didn’t care about the Zemeni arm of the treaty.” Tolya turned towards Leoni. “How many?”

“How many what?” she responded.

“How many people died?” he asked softly.

Leoni swallowed hard. “Thirty-three Zemeni citizens, and fifty-eight refugees from Ravka and Fjerda.” She paused, remembering Atiena’s somber debriefing after she returned home to Ol’Umoyana. “Twelve of the total were children. They attacked a club frequented by Zemeni zowa in the city. My cousin Jesper was there. Then later a ship in the harbor. At least two other known attempts have been made, not to mention the recent poisoning in our hotel.”

Tamar cursed, and Nadia looked sick. Tamar’s fierceness softened from her face. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

Adrik leaned into Leoni’s neck and she felt the customary pop of lowered pressure to mute their voices. “I believe them my love,” he said. “I know that doesn’t mean much because I grew up with them. But I don’t think they would be okay if they knew about the people dying. As much as Tamar pretends to have no heart, she wants to do what is right.”

Leoni chose at this moment to trust Adrik, the same way he had trusted her when they moved across the True Sea. She nodded.

“Is Nikolai’s condition getting any better?” Adrik asked the group at large, as her ears went back to normal.

“Condition?” Leoni asked. But none of the Ravkans were looking at her.

“There’s no way you can know about that,” Tamar said. 

“I was a spy,” Adrik replied, deadpan. “It was in my best interest to know many things.”

“I don’t think we can discuss that,” Nadia said, finally stepping in carefully. “But we have a lot we need to talk about with the Triumvirate. Nadia clambered over Adrik so she could reach Leoni and kissed either side of her cheek. “Adrik could not have picked a better one. But he’s always had good taste.”

Leoni appreciated the change in subject. “Oh?” She looked between the two of them. They were nearly identical - the same bow-shaped lips, angular face, and pale green eyes. “Taste how?”

Adrik groaned as Nadia sohved a hand in his face. “Well there was Zoya Nazyalensky of course when he was fifteen, Paja, Gurleen, and Anastasia, that Shu/Ravkan girl that reminded us all of Alina…”

Leoni arched an eyebrow. “Interesting,” she said. Adrik was turning beet red. “I don’t think I heard a single Ravkan girl in there.”

Nadia grinned. “You’re probably the most beautiful one though. It’s the smile.”

“Don’t tell Zoya that,” Tamar chuckled. “Should I be jealous, dear wife?”

“Of course not,” Nadia said with a wave of her hand. “And everyone who knew you at the Little Palace said you’re wonderful. David can’t speak highly enough of you, a fact that irritates Nikolai to no end.”

“Oh, because Nikolai wants me dead?” Leoni said. The humor in the air vanished immediately. Leoni didn’t feel guilty. 

“Not dead,” Tolya said, although his face was also beginning to flush. “He doesn’t like being fooled. Or being made a fool of.”

“He does that plenty well himself,” Adrik grumbled. “If any of you harm a single hair on Leoni’s head, I will take this prosthetic arm and shove it up your ass and pull it out the throat.”

Leoni sputtered. “I don’t think that’s necessary.” And she would hate to see her handiwork get used that way.

“I haven’t heard a good ol’ Adrik threat in so long,” Nadia sighed. “Don’t worry. I finally have a sister, I’m not letting her go.” 

Leoni was thankful for that, at the very least. Tolya tried to steer the conversation to lighter topics, which included insulting Kerch food and hospitality. Leoni mostly stayed quiet, clutching to Adrik’s side. He kept his arm around her protectively, occasionally dropping kisses onto her forehead and cheek as he caught up with his sister.

She hadn’t realized she drifted off until Adrik gently woke her up off of his shoulder. “Saints,” she swore. “Was I drooling?”

“Just a little,” Adrik replied. “Let’s get you into bed,” she said. Leoni let out a small groan of complaint. The twins and Nadia had already left, which she was grateful for. While she had enjoyed Nadia, she would take a while to warm up to Tolya and Tamar. But Adrik was right - they had seemed shocked at the information about terrorist attacks in Nyota Heri and the deaths of civilians. Maybe that meant something. 

Despite being sleepy, Adrik was unable to convince her to let go of her rifle, which she kept tight in her hand. “We should go straight to sleep tonight,” Adrik said. Although Leoni typically wasn’t a fan of that, she agreed. The summit ball was coming up the following night, and with Atiena’s emphasis on looks, it was going to be extra important to look her best and be as observant as possible. 

“You know that you’re the most important thing to me, right?” Adrik asked when they finally climbed all the stairs. “No matter what. My life is with you in Ol’Umoyana, not Ravka anymore.”

“You shouldn’t have to choose,” Leoni said in earnest, flopping onto the bed. 

“I made my choice,” he said. “And I don’t regret it. I never could.”

Leoni curled up in his arms and went back to sleep.


	32. The Summit Ball

After stumbling into his room after his conversation with Wylan, Jesper dove under the covers and asked Sefu to calm him down enough to help him sleep. He had wordlessly acquiesced, cradling Jesper’s head in his warm, calloused hands, and Jesper slept until past noon the next morning. When he finally rolled over onto his back, Sefu was sitting by the window with a notebook in his hand, writing.

Jesper stretched and let out an inhuman noise, drawing his attention. “Good morning,” Sefu said with a chuckle. “Well. Afternoon.”

“Don’t tell me I wasted the day,” Jesper groaned. “What time is it?”

Sefu pulled out his pocket watch and grimaced. “Still on Zemeni time. Hang on.” He looked around until he finally found the small clock on the wall. “Half past two.”

“Saints,” Jesper murmured. “Did I miss anything?”

“Breakfast,” Sefu said. “But it wasn’t very good. Some Fjerdan thing with a stinky fish. Adrik was very unhappy with it. I have some lunch saved for you.” 

Jesper noticed the small plate piled high with cured meat, cheeses, and fruit. His stomach gave a grumble and he smiled. “Thank you.” He stood up and stretched, making his way over to the table. He grabbed an apple, enjoying the satisfying crunch it made as he bit in. “Stinky fish, huh?”

“It was pretty disgusting,” Sefu chuckled, tucking his notebook away. “Are you ready for tonight?”

“No,” Jesper replied honestly. “But I do like getting dressed up.”

“It’s the Zemeni in you.” Sefu grinned. “Atiena is a cyclone downstairs making sure everyone is prepared.”

“How long until she comes knocking on our door?”

“Give or take a half hour, I told her to let you rest.”

“Forget Leoni, you’re the saint,” Jesper said. “Food and rest? I don’t know what I’d do without you?”

Sefu looked down as he smiled, and Jesper was struck once again by how pretty his curled eyelashes were. Especially against the strong lines of his cheekbones and jaws. Now it was Jesper’s turn to look away before he analyzed the shape of Sefu’s lips too. He did that enough even when his eyes were closed.

Suddenly he remembered that Wylan was probably downstairs right now - getting ready for the same Summit Ball that evening. It soured his mood.

He went to the washroom and began to prepare, washing and oiling his locs that were almost finger-length now. They had grown a lot over the last few months and he wondered if maybe Atiena could braid them back before the event that night. But he focused on shaving and rubbing oil on his skin to fight against the Kerch air. Kaz had always complained about the smell of it in the slat, but Jesper figured he just liked complaining. Of course, his locs weren’t anything compared to Sefu’s.

As he walked out, he saw Sefu putting his locs into barrel rolls and pinning them back. The fingers moved deftly and Jesper blinked again. The room was too small and there wasn’t enough air in the world, when Sefu seemed to suck it all away.

“You okay Jes?” Sefu asked.

Jesper smiled and nodded. “I am. I’ll see you soon.”

Jesper found his way through the halls, looking for the small makeshift nameplates that said “Hilli Zhabin” outside the door. He knocked and the door was immediately opened by an excited-looking Leoni. “Jesper!” she said, throwing her arms around him. It took a moment to realize this was the same woman who had shot a bullet at Kaz the night before for him. He owed her a drink.

“Come in!” she said, opening the door. She was in a simple shift with a dressing robe on top. Adrik was resting on the bed in lounge pants, shirtless. Jesper looked away from the stump of his arm, where scars were criss-crossed. If Adrik noticed there wasn’t a change in his demeanor. But he did reach for a rather pretty prosthetic on the table next to him. “I’m just debating how to style my hair.”

She grabbed two of her twists on each side and hung them out the side before letting them drop. “I have the same dilemma,” Jesper confessed. “I’m useless.”

“Hardly.” She sat down on the deep windowsill, swinging her legs. Adrik watched the two of them wordlessly, narrow lips in a hard line. Jesper got the sense he still didn’t quite like him for making Leoni cry. “Did you come here to chat about hair and dressing up?”

“Yes,” Jesper replied. “And to make sure you’re okay after last night.”

Leoni nodded. “We had a late night after. Not the way you’re thinking,” she said with a finger pointed at him. “Visited some friends. My sister-in-law.” She rubbed some lotion into her hands. “But I have a feeling you don’t want to talk about my distant relations.”

“How presumptuous,” Jesper murmured. “But true.” He glanced over at Adrik, who now had his arms crossed and was watching him like a hawk. Despite the sour look on his face, he could kind of see what Leoni liked. Under the clothes he wore he was clearly in good shape, whether that had to do with being a grisha or a regimented workout schedule. Freckles splashed across his face and down to his shoulders. But he only ever seemed to soften when he was with Leoni and he thought no one was looking.

Leoni put her engagement ring on, pretty coral with a gold band. “So what can I do for you?”

“I just feel weird,” he said, pulling a chair from a desk. The Van Ecks really had more rooms and furniture than a sensible person needed. “Being here. Seeing Wylan.”

“I told you I don’t like him anymore and I stand by that,” she said. “But it’s okay to grieve something that was important to you. Sometimes I miss Ravka, in a weird way. I spent so much time there, and crafted an identity. So much that I kept the name.” She grinned.

“Inyoni right?” Jesper asked. “Little bird.”

“Not so little and bird-like anymore,” she joked. “But I have a doctor. Kalashnik. Adrik and I like to see her.”

“I saw someone for awhile,” Jesper said. “But they were all the way in Ol’Umoyana, and I didn’t make it out there all the time.” More like half the time. Atiena was going to murder him herself. “It’s not like things were amazing, not after I came back home. I think there was always the expectation that I would be in Ketterdam. That I shouldn’t be too Zemeni, not really.”

“Oh I would leave Adrik in a heartbeat if I felt that way,” Leoni said. “Right,  _ umyeni _ ?” she asked sweetly over her shoulder.

“I would expect nothing less of you,” he replied. He now had a book he was sifting through. 

“Being here again I realize how out of place I am,” he said. “I’m not half Zemeni, half Kaelish. I’m all of both, and I don’t want to give them up. For anyone.”

“Good,” she said cheerfully. “You shouldn’t. I know people say distance makes the heart grow fonder but I don’t think that’s true. There’s some things distance makes terrifying. Or insurmountable.”

“I would leave Ravka a hundred times over for Leoni,” Adrik chimed in from the side. “It is just a country.”

“You don’t feel bad about it?” asked Jesper. “No regrets?”

“I committed treason, what good would regret do,” Adrik responded. His voice was drier than the deserts of northern Nyota Heri. “But no. What are countries without people? And the person I chose is her.”

It was nauseatingly sweet, but Jesper felt warmth in his chest for the two of them, Leoni’s eyes shining bright as she looked over at him in open admiration. “I got lucky,” she grinned. “But I think tonight you should forget about it. Dress up. Look beautiful, and dance in the arms of even more beautiful people.”

“So your arms?” Jesper said.

“Is my arm not good enough,” came Adrik once again from the peanut gallery.

Jesper’s mouth flopped open. “I don’t know how to respond to that,” he admitted.

“He’s just giving you a difficult time,” Leoni said with a wave of her hand. “Forget about Wylan tonight.”

* * * * *

It was easy to take Leoni’s advice when they were all getting ready. He piled into the drawing room with the Kaboyongas, Leoni, Adrik, and other young Zemenis. Kuwei had left for Ol’Umoyana earlier in the day, and Jesper wished he had gotten to say goodbye. But they would meet again. He owed Kuwei a lot.

He had to admit, his outfit was incredible. The Zemeni tailors outdid themselves for everyone. Jesper kept looking at himself in the full-length mirror laid out. It was a Kaelish suit cut with a double-breasted jacket over a dark brown vest, but instead of plain colors it was a beautiful green and gold ankara pattern, all perfectly fitted on his long and lean frame. He didn’t feel the urge to twist his coin, but he still tucked it into his breast pocket.

Atiena had braided his locs back tight, and there were an assortment of precious gems woven into them. Leoni brushed gold dust along his eyelids that brought out the gray. He smiled at himself, before turning around to look at the others. 

Everyone was radiating beauty and grace - it was unmistakable. The air smelled like cocoa butter and was filled with the dance-like cadence of Zemeni. Alys popped in every so often to ask if anyone needed anything, clearly marveling at the delegation assembled in her home. The Van Eck mansion had never been filled with so much life. He wondered how Marya was doing, but he hadn’t seen her. 

“Pirate coming through!” Boasted a loud voice in broken Zemeni. Zakhir pushed his way in, trailed by Maya on chubby, stumbling legs. The toddler had taken a shine to the navigator. His windswept hair and casual clothes indicated he came from Inej’s ship. “Look at you,  _ romni, _ ” he grinned. “Not even fully dressed yet and beautiful,” he swept Atiena into his arm and kissed her forehead. “Although I think I would prefer -”

“You’re going to stop right there,” Atiena said curtly. But there was a sly smile on her face. “You’re a mess. Go get cleaned up.”

He let out a dramatic sigh, before turning and saying something to Maya in Suli. She giggled and then he walked out as quickly as he arrived. Jesper found it all very confusing.

Sefu found his way over to Jesper, and his mouth turned into cotton. His long locs were swept up onto his head, showing off the slope of his strong shoulders. Sefu had forsaken any adornment in them, but it didn’t matter. Sefu was dressed in what appeared to be a plain white kanzu at first - impossibly crisp and fitted for his shoulders, tapering in at his hips. But on closer look Jesper could see that it had been embroidered with a silvery-white thread that made jurda patterns towards the center and adorned the upright collar. His only adornment was a gold chain that hung around his neck. His beard had been trimmed short and cleaned up. It looked soft, and Jesper’s fingers twitched.

Jesper thought he was a vision.

“You look wonderful,” Sefu said, reaching out to give Jesper a hug. Jesper didn’t turst himself to speak so he just nodded. “Did you see Adrik’s kefta as well? The clothiers outdid themselves.”

Jesper peered over at where Leoni was adjusting Adrik’s collar affectionately. It was an insult to call the outfit a kefta - it was too ornate. The tailored ankle-length outfit may have been a kefta as a base, but it had a distinctly Zemeni twist. The patterns weren’t as bright as Jesper’s, and most peoples. But the dark blue with silver threading was reminiscent of the Little Palace, geometric designs emulating the wind. There were silver corded ties in the middle, in three groups of three matched the silver cuffs, and a dark purple sash around his waist matched the color of Leoni’s dress. His military bearing was obvious but a blush was stealing up his neck as Leoni fussed over him and kissed his cheek.

Her dark purple dress had voluminous folds that moved beautifully as she stepped around, and a deep v-neck that Adrik seemed to appreciate. The large expanse of dark brown skin was adorned with a tiered silver necklace. Her long twists were styled on the back of her head, making an elaborate knot.

“Atiena still isn’t dressed yet,” Jesper muttered. She had a robe tied and was walking around to and from other people.

“She’s going to make a grand entrance,” Sefu replied. 

Jesper knew she wouldn’t be the Kaboyonga sibling he was focused on that night. “I’m sure she will.”

* * * * *

Jesper wasn’t sure what he expected - but the splendor of the Oppenheim mansion for the Summit ball would have exceeded it all. Despite the cold Kerch winter, it was positively balmy - no doubt an effect of grisha nearby. There were electric lights strung about and people from all nations in their absolute best. Whether it was the stark black and white suits identifiable as Kerch, the bland keftas of Ravka mixed with their military formal, bone gray of Fjerda, interrupted by the brighter colors from Nyota Heri and Shu Han. 

Seeing some of the most important people in the world under one roof, Jesper couldn’t help see the potential for chaos. He remembered his conversation with Wylan. The dregs allegedly had no plans to shoot anything up - but he could see the underhanded deals being made anyway. The bets being placed. As politicians rubbed elbows and lips leaned in towards ears. The older members of the Zemeni delegation seemed to be joining in the charade. 

Jesper jumped as he felt a hand on his back. Sefu leaned in to talk to him. “I don’t know anyone here,” he teased. 

He laughed and some of the tension went out of his body. “I think Brigid is here somewhere.”

“Want to see what the food is like?” Sefu said. The smile on his face made him look young. Boyish. “It might be terrible.”

“I lived here, its definitely terrible,” Jesper said. But he grabbed Sefu’s hand and led him to where an elaborate appetizer station was set up. The ridiculous fountain of champagne looked expensive, and there were various animal parts on crackers, and cheeses, and strange-looking Kerch foods they passed as fancy.

“Why is there one green sprig on this,” Sefu asked, pointing at a delicacy. “What does that do?”

“They consider their palates refined,” Jesper snorted. “The rich are bland.”

“Aren’t you rich?” Sefu asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Aren’t you?”

Sefu bobbed his head as he considered this, then popped one of them into his mouth. His face contorted and Jesper burst out laughing as he frantically looked around for a napkin to spit it out in. When a server walked by, Sefu dropped the napkin on their plate, drawing a disgruntled look. 

“I like your chain,” Jesper blurted out. “Gold looks nice on you.”

Sefu smiled. “Thanks. My mom gave it to me.”

Jesper instinctively moved to touch the talisman at his wrist. “Well then your mom has good taste.”

Jesper admired their surroundings again, trying to distract himself from Sefu getting closer. The back of the other boy’s hands brushed against his and Sefu looked like he was about to speak. But the universe had worse timing than Jesper, and he saw a familiar form in a tailored black suit and crow cane approach him.

“Kaz?” Jesper said incredulously. His past was never going to let go.

“Truce, Jesper,” he said in his irritatingly coarse voice. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

Sefu leaned in to whisper to Jesper in Zemeni. “Say the word and I’ll deck him.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “That wouldn’t look good anyway. Six-foot-five handsome Zemeni beating up a man with a bad leg and a cane. The Kerch are looking for any excuse even if it's this bastard.”

Kaz seemed perturbed being unable to understand, giving Jesper a measure of satisfaction. “Fine,” he said. “But I need to be back. The dances aren’t going to dance themselves.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Kaz responded sarcastically. 

Sefu gave a small wave and smiled as Jesper walked with Kaz. He tried to remember why Kaz made him feel the way that he had before. Why he had followed the Kerch into a life of crime and murder. It all seemed pointless and stupid. “It’s nice to see you back in Ketterdam,” he said. “Even under less than ideal circumstances.”

“Fairly ideal for me,” Jesper muttered. “Thanks.”

They wound through the mansion into a room, and Jesper wished he had his revolvers with him. Atiena had explicitly said no weapons. When the door swung open, Jesper’s eyes widened.

Inej. 

Wylan.

A blonde woman who grinned when she saw him. “You owe me waffles.”

“ _ Nina?! _ ” he gasped. 

“Now we’re all back together,” mused Kaz as he limped over to a chair.


	33. Nazyalensky

“Are you sure you’re not cold?” Adrik asked for the tenth time.

Leoni gave him a sideways glance. “Nope. It’s a little breezy, nothing you can’t fix.” She felt spectacular. There were sparkles on her cheekbones, eyelids, and the bare skin exposed on her chest, and Adrik was stunning next to her. She had never appreciated the Ravkan squaller colors like she did now on his Zemeni-styled kefta. 

Adrik gripped her hand with his prosthetic one and raised it to his lips to kiss her knuckles. “Of course,” he said.

When they walked in, Leoni was slightly dazzled by the effect. It was completely the opposite of what it would have been in Nyota Heri - open skies and unrestrained dancing. It reminded her of Ravka in that regard - people wanted to show off their wealth in the form of aloofness. Jewels. Rich clothing. Very little expression of joy. But Leoni proudly kept Adrik’s arm in hers. 

They subtly looked for the relevant members of the Ravkan delegation. They spotted a couple dignitaries and ambassadors, who looked down at Adrik’s outfit in surprise and then narrowed their eyes at them. Leoni responded by placing a hand under Adrik’s chin and turning his face to her. She took a moment to look at him in admiration before giving him a quick smooch on the lips.

“What was that for?” he asked. “Not that I object.”

“To remind everyone I’m here with you.” 

He turned to look at the Ravkans, who had since turned their backs on him. “Thank you. I would give my other arm for you.” 

She laughed it off and pulled him to a champagne fountain. They had been doing unbelievably hard work since they were teenagers - Leoni figured they deserved to have fun. She passed a glass to him and they had a brief toast before she sipped the bubbly beverage. 

Over the next hour they milled about - Brigid came up to talk to them again, dressed in a fine silver gown with seal furs as accents. Leoni was contemplating asking her for her hair-washing regimen when a commotion began by the grand staircase. A servant in stark black and white cleared his throat to announce the arrival.

“His Most Royal Majesty King Nikolai Lantsov, Former Major of the Twenty-Second Regiment, Soldier of the King's and People’s Army, Grand Duke of Udova, Ally of Sankta Alina sol Koroleva, Uniter of Ravka, Ruler of the Double Eagle Throne. General Zoya Nazyalensky.”

Leoni felt fear claw at her throat when she saw them. Adrik took the champagne glass from her hand and placed it on a table, grabbing her hand in his tightly. Nikolai was smiling, and charismatic, dressed in the gold and teal of the Lantsov emblem, the official imperial clothing of the King almost militaristic cut across his shoulders. But Leoni only remembered the haughty boy King that casually tossed her life in his hands in the same space he broke treaties with her countrymen. 

“Remember my promise,” Adrik whispered into her ear, so close his lips almost touched them. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

She knew he couldn’t control that - but it still made it easier. Nikolai had barely made it down the stairs when she looked for the exits, but another commotion was starting at the back of the room. Leoni craned her neck and the sight she saw made her grin.

Atiena walked through the room in all her glory. She wore an elaborate dress of the deepest, truest red. The cropped top had off-the shoulder sleeves and exposed a couple inches of dark brown skin before a matching skirt billowed down to the ground. The hems were embroidered in gold geometric Zemeni patterns and she had a beautiful gold choker with cascading chains that looped back up to it. She had beautiful makeup that complimented her face, and a smile on her face. None of this was surprising. 

On her arm was a transformed Zakhir. And Leoni had to admit he cleaned up well. His facial hair had been trimmed and oiled, his hair cleaned and swept carelessly to the side. The kohl that lined his eyes matched Atiena’s. He wore a golden and rich embellished sherwani with a deep v in the middle that matched Atiena’s outfit, and fitted red pants. He had jewelry on his hands and for the first time Leoni noticed Atiena wearing jewelry. Specifically a ring. Specifically a gold ring on her wedding finger.

Leoni whacked Adrik on the chest in her surprise and he let out a small cough. “What?”

“Look at them!”

“I know, it’s quite a sight.”

“Not that -” she rolled her eyes and raised her left hand and wiggled her hand. “I think they’re married.”

Adrik’s eyes widened in genuine surprise. “Him? The pirate, the kind of slutty one?”

“Adrik!” she chastised. “We don’t know if he’s slutty.”

“Everybody on the ship said he was, I’m just using their words.”

“He’s also the son of the most important Suli chiefs,” Leoni corrected, but she couldn’t help snickering. 

She grabbed his hand and forced their way over to where Atiena was standing next to him. The two made a dashing couple, and Leoni admired them for it. “Atiena!” she exclaimed, and her heart skipped a beat when the older girl wrapped her arms around Leoni tight. “You look stunning.”

“As do you and your fiance,” Atiena said. 

“Are congratulations in order?” Leoni asked, picking up Atiena’s hand and turning it over. “Is this what the hand art was for?

Zakhir was holding a champagne glass and raised it at them. A toothy grin took over his face. “It was and she complained the whole time.”

Leoni had a thousand questions running through her head but mostly it was one. Why? Atiena didn’t seem the type to make a hasty decision especially over a man like Zakhir, who seemed not to do a lot of thinking and had no intention of leaving his life on the sea. But that was Atiena’s business. Leoni was just terribly curious and riding the heady wave of champagne. 

Atiena and Zakhir together, with their bold outfits and natural charisma, drew the eye of the room. People lined themselves in front of the couple to introduce themselves. And soon, they drew the attention of none other than the King of Ravka.

“Atiena Kaboyonga,” Nikolai said. Leoni instinctively took a step back. But Atiena stepped forward first, protectively putting a hand in front of Leoni. “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting your acquaintance.”

“Zakhir Drăgan,” Atiena said. “Accomplished navigator, reader of stars, and weaver of tales. The son of chief László Drăgan and Kartar Drăgan, uniters of the Unceded Suli Territory, the last defense against the Fold, protector of the gateway to the True Sea, and advocate of the eight Suli tribes.” She turned her head slowly at Nikolai. Leoni was in shock at the verbal slap to the face she had just delivered. “And my husband.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” grinned Zakhir. He raised Atiena’s bejeweled hand up to his lips and gave it a kiss. Leoni saw Zoya crossing her arms, an irritated look on her face. Even though Leoni was now clinging to Adrik, she was dazzled by the display of diplomatic assholery happening in front of her. “Atiena Kaboyonga. Intelligent, strong, and beautiful to boot. I would follow you to the stars.”

Nikolai looked slightly taken aback. If the tsar expected people to be fawning over him as his antics, he was sorely upstaged by Zakhir. “Well good luck to the new couple, I myself -”

“Oh we heard,” Atiena waved off. “Congratulations on your engagement to Ehri.”

This was when Zoya finally stepped forward, drawing herself up to her full not-very-tall height. “Don’t be disrespectful Kaboyonga, I remember you were one of the women vying for Nikolai’s hand.”

“I was vying for respect from Ravka,” Atiena corrected. She was shorter than Zoya but seemed nonplussed. “And I know where I am not wanted, and moved on.”

“You should be thrilled for us, Zoya” Zakhir said. “We’re both Suli, our names begin with Z. We’re cousins.”

“I am not your relative,” Zoya snapped. “You will not treat me as thus. I work for the Double Eagle Throne of Ravka proper. Not whatever is happening in the West and dividing our country. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“I should be ashamed of myself?” he asked. Something dangerous flashed in his face before he turned to Atiena. “Will you take this my dear?” he asked, handing her his champagne flute. Then he turned back to Zoya, putting his hands behind his back. “General Nazyalensky. My father is Kartar Drăgan. Neé Kartar Nazyalensky. His brother would go on to marry Sabina Garin. So we are, indeed, cousins.”

Leoni’s mouth fell open. Zakhir continued, even as color drained from Zoya’s face. “My father says that Rana by all accounts was not a good man but we reached out to you, Sabina, and a woman I believe was named Liliyana many times. Always rejected. But we are a family people and cheered you on.” The easy look on his face went away. “But instead you went on to serve the ‘Double Eagle Throne’ as you so call it, working for the empire that has decimated half your bloodline. A bloodline that is still fighting to be recognized, or even hoping that the King will do something about the girls that are being stolen from his shores.”

For the first time, Zoya seemed taken aback and Nikolai had nothing to say. But Zakhir was not finished. “General Nazyalensky. To us you would have been royalty. If you want to pretend you’re not one of us be my guest. But don’t you judge us for defending the lands we have always lived on from a man -” he looked at Nikolai. “Who would do nothing to defend us.”

Atiena had rid herself of the glass and now placed a hand on Zakhir’s chest, looking at him in admiration. “Tell us the newest Saints revered by the Suli?”

Zakhir turned and looked directly at Leoni.  _ Oh no, _ she thought, eyes going wide. “Sankta Leoni of the Waters and Sankt Adrik the Uneven. Protector of the lost,” his voice became soft. “And the hurting. And the stolen.” He looked back at Zoya. “You sign your life away to Os Alta. Were you not stolen from your home to the Little Palace?”

Rage flashed in Zoya’s eyes and Leoni felt exposed. “They are no saints, they are traitors. You know the Suli chiefs aren’t recognized internationally and hold no real power.”

Zakhir smiled. “Did you hear that dear wife?” 

Atiena smiled. “The thing about power is that it changes hands,” she replied idly. “We can continue this family reunion another time. Nikolai,” she said. “Would you give me this dance?”

There was no way for Nikolai to deny her without breaking social decorum, so he gave her a bland charming smile and extended a hand to her. “I would be so lucky,” he said. “I believe I missed our dances in Os Alta,” he commented. Then they disappeared. Zakhir had a happy look on his face. If he was planning to ask Zoya, she disappeared before he could do so. 

“I’ve never seen both of them at a loss for words,” Adrik said to her. “I was worried Zoya was going to shoot lightning into his chest right there.”

“That was almost cruel,” Leoni replied. “But it was important.”

“The trafficking got worse during the last war,” Adrik stated. “The Darkling liked that it kept the Suli people too occupied to fight back against him. But with Nikolai turning his eye westward, and the Fold gone…” he trailed off and shrugged. “It’s too much for me to understand. May I have this dance, Leoni?”

“Of course,” she said. “But not out here.”

The two of them wound through the crowd until they found the entrance to the gardens. In the cool air, Leoni could close her eyes, faintly hearing the music playing from the string orchestra. “It was too intense in there. So many people watching,” she finally said. 

When she opened her eyes, Adrik was in front of her, his arm outstretched. The moonlight behind him cast shadows on his handsome face and he smiled. A small smile, that Leoni knew like the back of her hand. “Solnyshko,” he said.

“Umyeni,” she replied.

He was sure-footed as they began to waltz in the small courtyard, their faces close together. She smiled from ear to ear as he lead her in the dance, skirts swirling around her. As the music trilled and sang in the night air he spun her around then raised her arm up behind her head, his own hand then trailing down the length of her back so he could pull her into a dip. Leoni felt the world tilt and she let out a playful shriek and he pecked her cheek before pulling her back up against him. 

In that moment for Leoni, everything felt right.


	34. The Dregs

Jesper was living a dream. Or a nightmare. He couldn’t figure it out. But the dregs were all together in a room and he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “What’s happening?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. He glanced at Wylan, whose eyes were openly admiring the outfit he had on. It didn’t have the same effect on Jesper that it used to, and he wished the Kerch man would look elsewhere. 

“Jesper please sit down,” Kaz said, motioning to a free chair. There were four faces staring at him and for a brief moment he wished Kuwei hadn’t been whisked away to Novyi Zem. He would have been a friendly addition to the crew. 

“I'm sitting, but not because you told me to,” Jesper said. He knew it was childish before he said so, but he couldn’t help himself. “But because I’ve been dancing.”

“Who is that boy with you?” Kaz asks.

“There’s not much ‘boy’ about Sefu,” Jesper replied. It didn’t escape Jesper how Kaz was disparaging him, and it bothered Jesper. Months without Kerch comments about Zemenis had made Jesper acutely aware of how Kaz had needled his confidence for years. “He is my friend. You’ll keep his name out of your mouth.”

Kaz raised his hands up, covered in gloves as always. “I’m not here to argue Jesper.”

“Why are you all here? Nina, I thought you were in Fjerda. That’s what Leoni told me.”

“Leoni?” Blonde Nina’s nonexistent eyebrows shot up. “You know Leoni?”

Jesper stared at her. “I’ve mentioned my mother before. Aditi.”

“Aditi as in Aditi Hilli?”

Jesper rubbed his temple. “Leoni’s downstairs with her fiance.”

“Leoni’s engaged?” Nina asked, her voice getting higher pitched. “To Adrik? The one-armed moody man?”

“He’s certainly moody, but he’s also a very good man.”

Kaz interrupted them. “Leoni is the one that shot at me, correct?”

Nina swiveled to look at Kaz. “Leoni? She’s just an alkemi, she’s never been trained to shoot she -”

“Maybe you don’t know everything about her,” Jesper said with an exasperated sigh. “She’s as good of a shot as me, even better with a rifle.” Had he always been this irritated? “So again, why are we here Kaz?”

“We are in an unusual position,” Kaz said. “Where some of the wealthiest and most influential people in the world have descended on Ketterdam. Something that can be used to our advantage and protecting the interest of the Dregs.”

Jesper stared at the group of them assembled. He tried to feel what he felt before. The sense of belonging. He tried to muster up the excitement for a potential heist. But there was an extremely handsome young man downstairs he wanted to dance with, and the Fahey farm waited for him outside Ol’Umoyana. 

“You know I’m not in the dregs anymore, you told me so yourself,” Jesper said. 

Everyone turned to stare at Kaz and Jesper scoffed. “Didn’t he tell you that? I would show you the letter but it’s back home,” he said. Jesper turned to look at Kaz, who was now studying his cane intensely. “I’m not going to rat on any of you. But my allegiance now is with the Zemeni Council.”

“You sold out?” Nina asked incredulously.

“Don’t you work for the Ravkan monarchy?” Jesper asked back. He was being snippy. “Sorry. But I haven’t heard from most of you in months and months.” He sighed. “You caught me by surprise.”

Finally, Inej talked. “You’ve just changed, that’s okay,” she said. “So have all of us.”

The inevitable truth in the chasm between them. But he was eternally grateful for Inej, who seemed to understand this more than anyone. On the ship she’d had a righteous purpose. That was how he felt - he was protecting people. More than just himself, and fixing his gambling mistakes. He shot her a grateful smile and was going to give her a great big hug later. And formally introduce her to the new saints. Maybe she already had knives for them.

Kaz stared at Jesper, dark eyes unreadable. “You’re saying no?”

Jesper swallowed hard. “I’m saying no.”

Kaz shook his head. There was something in his eyes. Disappointment, maybe? “You’ll regret this.”

“No, I’m treated well. And I really want to go dance.” He smiled at the thought.

“Dancing does sound fun,” Nina sighed. “The Fjerdans  _ hate _ dancing.”

Jesper thought about the contingent of Hedjut he’d seen downstairs. “I don’t think all of them do. But you’re welcome to join me. I don’t want to spend tonight plotting or murdering.” He smiled at them all. Even Wylan. Even Kaz. “I’ll see you later.”

When Jesper left the room and closed the door, he felt like a tumor had been carved out. There was an emptiness, yes. But this part of his life was over. His future was hopeful and shining to the West in Novyi Zem. It wasn’t in Ketterdam. It wasn’t a pale-skinned Kerch boy. It was his fingers in the earth and an endless blue sky, with warm summer nights full of dancing and laughter. 

He rushed back downstairs, making sure the lapels of his suit were nice. He scanned the smorgasbord of people down below, the Zemenis easy to spot in their colorful regalia. His eyes finally settled on Atiena and Sefu, who were in a corner having what looked like a heated and not-happy conversation. There was a distressed look on Sefu’s face, and Jesper could tell they were trying to keep quiet. He should stay out of Kaboyonga business. But instead he needed to push away from the conversation he had earlier, and to his new friends.

Jesper dodged the bodies (including an irritated-looking Nikolai), glancing longingly over at the dance floor. Leoni and Adrik had found their way there and were laughing, Adrik’s cheeks pink. He was smiling - actually smiling. Impressive.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” he heard Sefu say as he walked up to them.

“I can make my own decisions about this,” Atiena said back.

They both looked up as Jesper approached, his hands up in defense. “You two okay?”

Sefu motioned at Atiena before grasping her hand and showing the band around her finger. “She’s married.”

Jesper blinked. “Who?”

The Kaboyongas had twin expressions of incredulity. Maybe he shouldn’t have spoken. “Me, Jes,” Atiena said. She snatched her hand away from her brother. “Keep it down Sefu, you know we can’t argue in front of outside folks,” she said. “They’ll take the opportunity to say we’re savages.”

Sefu rolled his eyes but he physically lowered his broad shoulders. “I don’t understand why you would do that,” he pleaded. There was actual distress in his deep voice. “Why would you sign your life away to that pirate? Why wouldn’t you trust me enough to tell me?”

Jesper’s heart ached for Sefu, who clearly idolized his sister. But Atiena reached up and cupped his face affectionately. “Sefu, I didn’t sign my life away to him. I promised to spend the rest of  _ his _ life as his wife. I will live a very long time, and please trust that I have my reasons.”

Sefu sighed and nodded. “Fine.”

Jesper felt the tension so he cleared his throat for a moment, facing the full force of Kaboyonga beauty. It was a lot. “Sefu,” he began. “May I dance with you?” 

Sefu’s face transformed from curious to a breathtaking smile. Atiena took a couple steps back, grinning as she looked between the two of them. “Yes,” he said. Jesper reached forward and grasped Sefu’s hand, his body beginning to run warm. Sefu was like dawn on the farm - absolutely gorgeous and worth getting up early for. 

_ I’m going to combust, _ Jesper thought, when they turned chest to chest, Sefu’s arm around his waist. “Thanks,” he managed to somehow say. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t understand what goes through her head sometimes,” Sefu said. He sounded surly, and it was adorable on him. He looked his age - young 20s. Thrown into the chaotic world of politics like Jesper. 

“Do you want to?” Jesper asked. “It seems like a frightening place.”

“True,” Sefu nodded. “But I don’t want to talk about Atiena and my -” he wrinkled his nose. “Brother-in-law.” He smiled at Jesper. “You know you’re a good dancer,” he noted. They spun around the dance floor, similar to the people around them. Jesper caught a glimpse of Leoni, who was now enthusiastically kissing Adrik until being tapped on the shoulder by a Council Elder. She didn’t look apologetic.

“You’re a good dancer too,” Jesper said. He was hyper aware of every time their skin touched. The meeting with the dregs faded away from his mind and he focused on how their bodies moved together, and how light and happy he felt. It was how he should feel. Always.

The two of them danced and smiled until Sefu breathlessly pulled him to a small alcove. There were some people sporadically about, chatting in low voices. Sweat beaded on Jesper’s forehead and the cool air felt nice. He played with Sefu’s fingers. He thought about the way he flipped pages with them, his neat handwriting. The entire night he hadn’t once fidgeted or tried to transmutate his coin.

“Sefu,” he said. The other boy looked at him with those deep dark eyes. His heart was beating so fast it might burst out of his chest. “Are you having a good time?” He chickened out.

Sefu brought Jesper’s hand up to his lips, brushing a kiss on his knuckles. “I love spending time with you. I was worried when you disappeared with the bird boy.”

“Why?”

“I know your ex is here and that you had a life here,” Sefu said. He sounded bashful of all things. “And maybe you like it better.” Sefu looked down. “That you like him better.”

Heavens, how could Sefu think that? Jesper moved his hand to the back of Sefu’s neck and pulled him down. It was so familiar - a hazy memory that pushed through the parem experience. But it was new because Jesper was himself. The drug wasn’t heightening all his senses - it was just Sefu himself. Soft, plush lips and their wide noses touching each other. Jesper closed his eyes, the two of them soft and gentle until Jesper traced his tongue on the bottom of Sefu’s lip. He easily acquiesced and they deepened the kiss.

It was everything Jesper wanted. Their bodies were flush against each other and Sefu’s fingers dug into his waist. He felt so much, and when they finally parted, Sefu’s eyes were bright. “Sefu,” Jesper began. “I like you so much. I’ve just felt like a mess for months and I was holding on to something that wasn’t as good as I thought. Instead of something new and wonderful.”

Sefu put his forehead against Jesper’s and the two of them enjoyed the moment together. Jesper didn’t understand why he had been fighting it so much. But they danced the night away and then went back to the Van Eck mansion where they spent the night in each other’s arms.


	35. Sáibmi & Piija

For the first time, Adrik actually beat Leoni to waking up in the morning. She groaned as the blinds were thrown open. She felt around the bed for a robe to toss on, her dress from the Summit thrown on the floor. Atiena was going to kill her, it probably cost a small fortune. Adrik’s kefta was hanging up on the door. 

“Good morning,” came her fiance’s amused voice. “Coffee, three sugars.” Leoni squinted against the light.

“My mouth tastes like dust,” she complained. She smacked her lips together. Adrik sat next to her, nudging the tray closer to her. “Thank you my sweet,” she managed, reaching for the drink. She smiled at it. Just as sweet as she liked it. “I love you,” she said. Her head was pounding. “How did I make it home?”

“We were drunk and disorderly,” Adrik said. He sounded pleased with everything. “And it was recommended we head back, where we had a  _ very  _ fun and adventurous night before we passed out. You are now hungover.”

“No wonder you look so pleased,” Leoni muttered over her mug. “I’m remembering bits and pieces.” She immediately blushed. “Did Atiena get married or did I hallucinate that?”

Adrik narrowed his eyes. “I can’t remember.”

After making herself presentable in a simple a-line dress and scrubbing the wine out of her mouth, she stumbled her way to Jesper and Sefu’s room and knocked on the door. There was the distinct sound of a body hitting the floor and scuffling. She looked around, keeping herself occupied with the rather off-putting green wallpaper until the door opened.

“Leoni?” asked Jesper. His hair was an absolute mess and he had thrown a robe on as well. “Uh, why? I mean, what can I help you with?”

She grinned knowingly. “May I speak to your beau? I have a nasty hangover.”

Jesper stared through her for a moment before snapping into attention. “Sefu! Yes. Sefu? Can you heal real quick?”

A moment later Sefu showed up, a pair of linen pants on. He had the decency to look sheepish. “Did you wash your hands?” Leoni asked sweetly. Jesper shot her a dirty look and Sefu mumbled ‘yes’ under his breath before placing gentle hands on her head. There was an intense itching and the moment passed. “Thank you love,” Leoni said. “I’ll get out of your way. Unless you want to get breakfast with Adrik and I and -”

“Please leave,” Jesper said. Leoni laughed her way back down the hall. In the room, Adrik had finished washing up and was lounging on the bed. Without her head hammering, Leoni was able to finish getting ready as well, downing the rest of her now-cold coffee. 

“Don’t we have the day off today?” Adrik asked. “Why are you moving so much?”

“A lot to get done. The world doesn’t stop moving,” Leoni said, tying half of her hair back away from her head. “Besides you seem fine.”

“I vomited three times this morning so loudly Atiena came over and fixed me up,” he said drily. 

“Oh that’s gross,” Leoni said. “But you’re cute.”

He smiled to himself at that, his cheeks a bit pink. He finally got up and grabbed the long case that had his prosthetics in them, picking out the more realistic-looking one. Leoni walked up and helped him put it on, always an intimate gesture between them. But he no longer looked away, like he did in their Fjerdan days. He smiled at her and when she was done, kissed her cheek. “Where are we off to today,  _ solnyshko _ ?” he asked. 

“I want to check out this whole Fjerdan Opjer business,” she said. “Especially before this mysterious meeting we have coming up. Did you brush your teeth?” she asked. When Adrik nodded, she gave him a quick peck on the lips. “We can grab some pastries from the kitchen.”

Downstairs, they found some small plates of Kerch breakfast items had already been laid out in the sitting room, where Zakhir and Atiena were sitting and speaking with Alys, little Maya perched on her knee. She was asking a million and one questions about the ball, and their engagement. Leoni had to admit they cut a pretty picture, Zakhir’s hand resting on Atiena’s thigh as the woman spoke animatedly. 

Adrik subtly walked over and grabbed some fruit in a cloth, waving at Zakhir, who smiled at them. The two of them ducked out and onto the Kerch streets. It was simultaneously bright and dreary at the same time and Leoni hated it. And it was always cold and damp. She missed the feel of warm humidity against her skin. 

“Do you have anywhere in particular you want to investigate?” Adrik asked placidly. 

“Weren’t you a spy too?” she asked with narrow eyes. “But yes. There’s a Fjerdan district close to where we saw the murals and I want to check it out. Opjer is rich - we need to see if he’s well known enough that the poor Fjerdans know anything about him. The type of people he would have working in his household.” Atiena had plainly said that they were saints at the Summit. While Leoni felt uncomfortable with the title, rumors spread quickly in cities like this. Jesper had proved that. 

With a snug coat over the dress, she was at least warm. The two of them made their way back to the Fjerdan district. Her hair was down, the long twists bouncing off her back. Adrik stayed close to her, and Leoni deeply appreciated it. The experience with the Fjerdan man in the cafe had still shaken her, and Adrik’s consistently somber expression helped deter people from talking to them.

She decided to go to the little FJerdan market in Ketterdam. People were always chattier when you were purchasing things from them. It was tucked away in some grimey side streets. Dried fish hung on racks and there were stalls selling things ranging from Fjerdan textiles to delicacies. It would almost be a fun time to explore if Leoni still wasn’t recovering from a traumatic time in Fjerda and Ravka. 

The stall owners talked to Adrik first, always. Even though her Fjerdan was better than his. A fact Adrik knew, deferring to her when something didn’t quite make sense. She looked through the stalls and bought a little ‘ice flower’ - a delicate beautiful fake flower designed to look like the ice they revered, and tucked it into Adrik’s lapel. “For my fiance,” she said with a smile. A small flush covered his cheeks and reluctantly smiled. 

“Sanktya?” Leoni heard someone say. She instinctively moved closer to Adrik, grasping his arm as she looked for the source of the voice. It was an older woman, with tanned skin against a strong Fjerdan bone structure. Leoni thought maybe she was mixed with something like Suli or Hedjut, but she couldn’t tell. “Sanktya Adrik and Leoni?” she said in wonderment at the two.

“Why?” Adrik said in brusque Fjerdan. “Who wants to know?”

The woman was a couple inches shorter than the two of them, dressed in a modest Fjerdan-style dress with a thick sweater that made Leoni’s skin itch just looking at it. “I lived in Gafvalle,” she began. Her dark brown eyes were watery. “You saved my cousin.” She touched a pendant around her neck that had the ash tree of Djel on it. “Thank you.”

Leoni smiled at the woman. She felt like a fraud - she was only seen as a saint because of a dirty trick that Nina had pulled to the villagers. But she needed this woman’s help. Anyone’s help. So she grasped the woman’s hands and kissed her knuckles, and then subtly motioned with her head for Adrik to do the same. He dutifully followed her lead, and a few tears fell down the woman’s face. “I am not worthy.”

“Please don’t say that,” Leoni said with a smile. She didn’t even believe in saints. Technically, most Fjerdans didn’t either. They were monotheistic. “But could we ask you some questions? We’re trying to help some more people while we’re here in Ketterdam.”

“Anything for you Sanktya,” she said. 

“First, what is your name?” Leoni asked. She tried her most benevolent saint-like face. She tried to treat it like another assignment as a Zemeni agent, rather than manipulating someone’s core beliefs. Or else she would feel too guilty to continue on. 

“Sáibmi,” the woman said. 

“Sáibmi - that’s a beautiful name.” Leoni truly meant that. “Are you familiar with a man named Magnus Opjer? He is supposedly here for the summit. A wealthy man by all accounts.”

She mulled over the name, Adrik looking silently between Leoni and Sáibmi. “Magnus Opjer. No, I do not know him. But my wife works in wealthy Fjerdan households. Please let me introduce you to her, so she can help you. I’d also love to feed you a proper Hedjut meal.”

“That would be lovely,” Adrik said, finally breaking his silence. His smile was not as open and free as Leoni’s but it was there, and his eyes were kind. Sáibmi looked like she was going to cry. She gave them her address to meet at in a couple hours, and then she immediately ran off, presumably to get ready. 

“You’re pretty good at this Saint thing,” Adrik mulled. “Do you think Chuku will be able to help us as well here?”

“Maybe,” Leoni said. “He’s in deep though. It’s dangerous to try and give up his position. We need him to remain embedded in Fjerda for the foreseeable future.”

Adrik nodded. “The more we find out ourselves, the better.”

* * * * *

Leoni found herself in a modest apartment in the outskirts of the Fjerdan district, that reminded her of her home in Ol’Umoyana with Adrik. Sáibmi answered the door, bowing towards the two of them. “Please, don’t worry about formalities with us,” Leoni assured. “You are doing us a great favor.”

“This is my wife Piija,” Sáibmi said. The Hedjut woman had two braids wrapped to make a braided crown, gray streaking her handsome hair. She was darker than Sáibmi with equally striking features. Leoni mused about Fjerda’s marriage laws. It would be difficult for them to be happy and exercise legal rights in the conservative country, it was no surprise they lived in Ketterdam now.

The modest yet filling meal of smoked fish, elk, and soup was better than anything Leoni remembered having at the abbey. Those springmaidens weren’t very good cooks in comparison to the hearty and seasoned food this couple was preparing. Even Adrik was eating, and Leoni was pretty sure he would rather chuck fish off the balcony if given the chance. 

“Thank you for hosting us, Sáibmi,” Adrik said. “Piija - your wife says that you work with Fjerdan aristocrats?”

Piija smiled at the two of them. “I do. Whenever delegations come into town they prefer to hire help that speaks the language locally. We have a small union. And with the summit in town, we have been working. Including for the man Opjer.”

Leoni sat up straighter, dipping a piece of bread in her soup. “How is he?” she asked, keeping the door as open as Piija wanted.

“Horrible man,” she said. “Always talking about how lucky we are to be helping him. About how good my Fjerdan is considering I am Hedjut.” She frowned. “But he has said things about Ravkans when he thinks we are not listening and I believe that interests you more Sanktya.”

Leoni looked down. “I don’t mean to take advantage of your position.”

“I hate him,” Piija said nonchalantly. “I would love to help take him down. He is particularly focused on the Ravkan king. Nikolai.”

“What about him?” Adrik asked curiously. 

Piija glanced at Sáibmi. “That he’s Nikolai’s father. And wants to take the throne for himself, and Fjerda.”

Leoni had a million and one questions, but Adrik jumped in. She sat back and absorbed the information. “You’re saying Magnus Opjer is Nikolai Lantsov’s father? We all knew he wasn’t the son of Aleksander Lantsov II but this is huge,” he said, looking at the women at the table. “Is there any proof you have of this?”

Piija seemed to think. “I can get it for you.”

* * * * * 

Leoni and Adrik immediately shut the door when they got back to the Van Eck mansion, mapping out this new information. “This could explain it all,” Leoni said. “Manufacturing grisha. Fake parem. With the intention of controlling the Second Army and its future generations.”

“And starting a war between Novyi Zem and Ravka would mean Ravka is spread too thin to do anything about invasion,” Adrik said. “Novyi Zem has been, and always will be Fjerda’s greatest threat.”

Leoni nodded. Fjerda and Novyi Zem were philosophically and fundamentally opposites. “We need to tell Atiena now,” she said. She wasn’t Nina Zenik, wanting to hold onto sensitive information when it could save lives or potentially stop a war. 

The eldest Kaboyonga was in a meeting with some Suli representatives in the parlor, but the moment she finished, she met the couple, looking between them. With how bright-eyed and composed she was, Leoni could hardly believe she had been rubbing shoulders with the world’s elites until the early morning hours. 

Leoni gave her a brief rundown of what they learned from Piija and Sáibmi. Atiena glanced around, to make sure no one was in the room, nodding. “Magnus Opjer is Nikolai Lantsov’s father? You said she would bring you proof?”

“Tomorrow, after her shift,” Adrik said. 

“Zhabin,” Atiena began. “Do you think this is well known in the Ravkan court?”

“No,” he said. “It would completely fall apart. The legitimacy of Nikolai is already questioned, but he’s presented as the only half-valid heir, without his own marriage secured or a child, it will be volatile.” Leoni knew what was left unsaid. Nikolai as the monster. As a survivor of the original Second Army that fought the Darkling, Adrik knew this dark secret of the King’s. And to Leoni, Nikolai was a different type of monster all together. “I can say with certainty if anyone knows it’s his closest advisers.”

Leoni reached to squeeze Adrik’s hand. He had been in the inner circle at one point. “I wasn’t there for long but I agree.”

Atiena mused this. “I’ll pass this along to those who need to know. The moment that proof is handed off to you, bring it directly to me. That’s an order.” She looked between the two of them. “Thank you so much. I appreciate you two. Make absolutely sure you are ready for the meeting the day after tomorrow.”

“The vague one?” Leoni asked. It had been on her schedule, with very little detail. 

“Yes,” Atiena replied. “It is vital.”


	36. The Bookstore

Jesper was really happy. He got to spend an entire morning in bed with Sefu, holding his new boyfriend. It had been an inevitability, but it was like all the curtains had been thrown open on life. Despite everything going on around him, Sefu was with him. Sefu was holding his hand, kissing him. Had danced the night away with him. All the feelings that had been bubbling under his skin were on the surface. He lazily flipped his coin between his fingers, the material changing effortlessly.

“Are you ready to rejoin society?” Sefu asked, after they’d finished cleaning up and eating a light breakfast. 

“No,” Jesper said. “But I’m ready to try.”

He felt like he was floating. He’d left his old life behind, shutting the door on the Dregs. Yes it was inconvenient he was currently staying in his ex-boyfriend’s home, but with Sefu next to him it didn’t really feel that way. They were simply on a trip and would be going back home soon. Jesper was looking forward to it - he’d done a lot of traveling recently. Sefu had met his grandparents and worked his land in Novyi Zem. Sefu was more a part of his life than Wylan had ever been.

“Why don’t you go ahead - I’ll be downstairs in a bit,” Jesper said. 

“Sounds good,” Sefu said. “I need to catch up with Atiena anyway.”

Jesper nodded, and when he had the room to himself his face split open in a wide smile and he covered his eyes with his hands, laughing. The night had been perfect. Despite Leoni’s insinuations (since Adrik seemed more or less incapable of keeping his hand off of her at the ball), they’d spent all night just talking and holding each other. And kissing. A lot of kissing. His lips still tingled. 

He took his time getting ready, dressing warm against the chill that seemed to permeate the Van Eck mansion. That had been something he complained about even when he lived there - the drafty building. Jesper preferred to be warm, especially after their excursion to the Ice Court. He was sad to see it never got addressed.

Snug in a fur-lined dashiki shirt that nearly touched his knees, and warm pants with boots, he went down to find Sefu. This was their first proper time off since they first arrived in Ketterdam and Jesper hoped to make the best of it. He wanted to go back to the Zemeni district with Sefu, show him some more places. Maybe wander over to the University district as well. Find a bookshop that Sefu could enjoy.

He wandered the house, going to the parlor where he thought Sefu was most likely talking to Atiena in. The home sounded the way it should - full of laughter and life and people chatting. It had never felt like that when it was just him, Wylan, Marya, Alys, and Maya. And more or less Bajan, with how often he stopped by. 

Just like at the Summit, Jesper heard arguing coming from behind the ajar door. Sefu and Atiena were in an intense argument, their body language leaning into each other and Sefu using more hand gestures than he’d ever seen in the past. Jesper was curious what would have him so worked up. 

Jesper knew the ins and outs of the Van Eck mansion, and knew that there was a dumbwaiter that opened from one side of that parlor to the other. He carefully walked to the spot and opened the hallway door, and climbed into it, folding in on himself and hugging his knees close.

“You can’t do this,” Sefu said. “Getting married? Fine, that’s a personal choice. But this is so much bigger.”

“Sefu, they’re not giving us a choice. Zemenis could die. This way no one gets hurt.”

“If you do this, there’s no coming back. You will have done this.”

“Only the ancestors can judge me for it. I’m tired of these countries playing with Zemeni lives, Sefu. There’s no arguing with their power games. If that means I have to play it a bit too, so be it.”

“Are you really ready to take this step? To be like Nikolai?”

There was silence.

“If I have to,” Atiena finally said. “I will take this burden. And if it stops everyone before more people are dead, so be it.”

“You’re changing the course of history. If any of our enemies find out about it - it’ll be worse than death.”

“Then it’s a good thing they won’t. I’ll make sure of it.”

_ What the fuck?  _ Jesper thought, trying to wrap his head around it. Whatever they were talking about sounded dangerous. And Atiena was courageous and good-hearted to a fault. What line was she approaching? 

“I’m done trying to convince you,” Sefu said, the desperation clear in his voice. “You’ll have to live with it on your conscious. Please don’t do this. We can find another way.”

“I’ve run through it a thousand times, Sefu,” she said sadly. “Everything the Elder Council wants to do. Everything you would have me do. It all comes down to war and death. I know this is hard. Just don’t think about it okay? Spend time with Jesper.”

“Does the Elder Council know?”

“No.” There was a pause before Atiena continued. “Do you plan to tell them?”

There was a long silence and Jesper strained to make sure he didn’t miss anything. “No,” Sefu finally said softly. “I love you Atiena. You really think this is the best way?”

“I know it is. I love you too.” 

Jesper disentangled himself and went back to the main door, putting on his best I-definitely-wasn’t-eavesdropping face. He knocked loudly on it, and he saw Sefu wrapping Atiena in a hug. The two siblings stepped apart and looked at him with twin smiles. There were no hints about what it was they’d been fighting about. 

“Hello future brother-in-law,” Atiena said with a grin. “I’ve been waiting for this since the festival.”

Sefu’s smile faded. “What do you mean the festival?”

Atiena’s eyes widened and for the first time, the confident woman looked… sheepish. “I didn’t actually bring someone back with me. We just made a lot of noise so you and Jesper would share the same bed.”

Jesper’s mouth fell open and Atiena dissolved into giggles. The argument he’d overheard was now in the back of his mind. “You did that on  _ purpose _ ?” 

Atiena shrugged nonchalantly. “He’s a friend of mine. Yes.” She now looked proud of herself. Jesper looked for any sign of what thing she could do that was so terrifying even Sefu was warning against it. He didn’t think the man would say she was changing the course of history for nothing. But she was also his friend. Beautiful, charming, Atiena. And he always wanted to believe what she said. 

“You’re getting ahead of yourself,” Sefu grumbled. But he walked over to Jesper and gave him a kiss on his forehead. “I believe you wanted to do something today? Something about books?” He asked hopefully. 

“Right,” Jesper said. “Let’s take a walk.”

He waved goodbye to Atiena as the two of them left. Sefu’s hand in his was solid and warm, and they made their way from the Geldstraat to the neighboring University District. The fancy banks and shops gave way to homier ones. Tea and coffee shops, food stands, and cafes geared towards students looking for a change of scenery while they studied. He’d frequented a couple of them before getting distracted by the gambling dens.

Sefu looked excited, slowing down to look inside various shops that were brimming with knowledge. On one corner was a storefront with a chalkboard sign that boasted “INTERNATIONAL READS! 10% OFF FOR THE GLOBAL SUMMIT!” Jesper grinned and pulled Sefu inside of it.

Wall to wall of books on every level of the store, and a cafe on the ground level. Sefu audibly gasped, looking at the winding staircases that still had bookshelves perfectly fabrikated to fit alongside it. Free space that wasn’t occupied by said books had tables and reading nooks. They sold all manner of literature from everywhere. Shu epics alongside Zemeni essays and Kaelish poetry. He watched Sefu’s face as it took in everything. Jesper grinned. “Lead the way,” he said. 

They spent the better part of two hours wandering, only stopping to get something to drink from the vendor. Sefu happily held a couple new notebooks and several books, and they found a small alcove to sit in. The window seat wasn’t large but they still nestled against the wall, looking at each other and the stack between them. 

“Now you have something new when you finish your notebook,” 

“Oh,” Sefu said. “You noticed that.”

Jesper raised his eyebrows. “Was I not supposed to?”

Sefu looked down and Jesper was stricken again by his curly eyelashes. “About that…” he reached into the messenger bag and pulled out the oh-too-familiar leather notebook, a pen tied to it on a delicate chain. “Here.”

It was opened to a page and Jesper started there, trying to figure out what he saw. 

There was a messy sketch of a man leaning against a pompom tree in the Zemeni countryside. No, not a man. He recognized the outfit.  _ It’s me, _ Jesper realized. Next to the doodle were words, and he began to read.

_ Jesper - I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Your eyes are like jumping into the ocean for the first time. Cold water washing over my head, jolting me from my deepest thoughts until they are only you.  _

Jesper’s heart raced and he flipped through some of the pages. Small love letters to him. Things that Sefu had noticed, rough sketches of Jesper doing the most mundane tasks - rendered lovingly. His heart leapt to his chest and he looked up at Sefu. 

“This is what you’ve been working on?”

“Just some observations,” Sefu said sheepishly. 

Jesper felt so much in his chest that it hurt, and the only thing he could do was reach forward and wrap his arms around Sefu tight. The soft Ketterdam sky only highlighted the handsomeness of Sefu’s face. Jesper was ready to go home. “This is the best gift I could ever receive,” Jesper whispered, handing the notebook back to Sefu. Sefu shook his head and pushed it back towards Jesper. “Keep it. For difficult days.”

They purchased a semi-ridiculous amount of books and carried them back to the mansion. He saw a tired-looking Atiena standing outside, a jurda cigarette between her lips. She waved them over. “Don’t stay up too late tonight,” she said with a worn out voice. “We have a long day tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're ever in Amsterdam make sure you visit the bookstore district it's a dream and definitely an inspiration for this chapter.


	37. The Ravkans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay folks! I've been dealing with a cancer diagnosis and handling everything associated with treatment and raising money. Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you like what I do!

They decided it would be best if Leoni went alone to meet Piija, although Adrik complained the entire time. That day, he was serving as a Zemeni representative at a meeting with none other than the Fjerdans, which would also give him a brief moment with Chuku if they were careful. But too many Zemenis were needed in too many places for both Leoni and Adrik to go. And they agreed Leoni was the better spy. 

Leoni was starting to know Ketterdam well - well enough to find the little stall in the marketplace easy, where Sáibmi waved her over. 

“Were you able to retrieve it?” she asked. The Hedjut woman smiled and handed her an envelope. Leoni’s heart raced as she looked at it. Finally, something that could help change the course that the world was heading to - war. With deadlier weapons, faster boats, and the egos of men getting in the way.

She made her way quickly back to the Van Eck mansion and found Atiena, who had made it very clear she was supposed to hand the evidence directly to her. Leoni had no clue what the relationship was between the Elder Council and the Youth Council. But Atiena was a compelling, self-assured person. Leoni trusted her.

Atiena grabbed the envelope and immediately ripped it open carefully, reading through the information. Her eyes widened, and then her round lips turned up into a smile. And she began to laugh. “Praise the ancestors,” Atiena whispered before pulling Leoni into a hug. “This is exactly what I needed. Make sure you’re ready for that meeting.”

Despite her brilliant smile and smart outfit, Atiena looked stressed. Leoni couldn’t put her finger on it. Her dark brown eyes were bright and energy seemed to be rolling off of her. She’s probably just anxious, Leoni thought.

Leoni changed into a simple kefta-style dress that went to her knees with an ankara pattern. Adrik was dressed similarly. They weren’t as formal as the outfits they wore to the Summit Ball, but it was still a nod to the fact they were Little Palace trained. “How did the errand go this morning?” Adrik asked as Leoni made sure his prosthetic was tightly secured.

“Atiena seemed pleased,” she replied. Anxiety gnawed at her stomach. They were meeting with Ravkans. Nikolai would likely be there with Zoya. But Atiena had been insistent. “Have you been able to see Nadia again?”

Adrik nodded. “Briefly today. She also doesn’t know what the meeting today is - she’s not included.”

Leoni nodded. She’d figured as much. 

“Just remember to breathe, solnyshko,” he said, kissing her cheek as she finished securing the arm, and he tested out the movements. “And I’ll be right there with you.”

Leoni nodded.

Downstairs, the Zemeni delegation for the meeting was a small, somber group. Even Jesper was frowning, rolling a coin in between his fingers. Atiena, Leoni, Adrik, Jesper, and Sefu made their way to the unassuming building in the University District. Leoni saw Tolya standing outside the door, and Sefu joined on the other side. Security from both countries. The two of them were impressive with their stature.

A chill washed over Leoni when she walked in and saw the King of Ravka. He was wearing his military outfit, which seemed an odd choice for what was presumably peace talks. Zoya wore her general’s outfit, and both Genya and David sat quietly. The entire Triumvirate was here. Leoni felt her throat close as she remembered the dark days in the Ravkan prison and the heavy shackles on her wrists. Despite the friendly look on Nikolai’s face, she could only remember his cruel words calling for her death.

“Ambassador Kaboyonga!” he called out with a smile. “As beautiful as always,” Nikolai said, standing to greet Atiena. “Jesper Fahey! Last time I saw you, you were running around Ketterdam,” he grinned. He then turned to Leoni and Adrik. All she wanted to do was reach for her fiance’s hand but she resisted, letting her training as a secret agent wash over. “Zhabin. Mbeki.” Nikolai said her name like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

“Good day to the Triumvirate,” Atiena said graciously. She had a warm, beautiful smile and even Zoya seemed to soften a bit in the forehead. “General Nazyalensky. Good as always to see you.”

“Is it good to see us?” Zoya asked.

“Zoya my darling,” Nikolai practically cooed. “Vinegar is a bitter taste so early in the meeting.”

“I don’t mind,” Atiena said with a smile. It was then that Leoni noticed a translator sitting quietly in a corner. One for the Ravkans.

They all sat at the circular table, Adrik taking his assigned position next to the translator, Leoni on her other side. She didn’t completely understand why Jesper was there, but he was staying quiet and watching. It occurred to her that this was the future of world politics in a room - the powerful youth of Novyi Zem and the powerful “boy King” of Ravka despite being about five years older than her.

“I know time is important,” Atiena began the moment Nikolai opened his mouth again to speak. It was clever, not letting him begin. “So I would like to jump into it. Ravka’s issues are spilling into our borders and killing our people. We have a testimony from an inventor in Kerry who can verify that you saw his outlines for submersible boats as Sturmhond the Pirate. We know the Kerch received the plans from you and they have been used to kill Zemenis on our own soil. That will not be tolerated.”

“We can hardly be responsible for the actions of other nations,” Nikolai began, but Atiena held up a hand to silence him.

“Your Majesty, you are responsible for upholding the treaties between Novyi Zem and Ravka which had only recently been renegotiated. I trust your mental health has not deteriorated so much in the past year and a half that you have forgotten, not allowing acts of war to be committed is possibly the most basic tenet of a treaty.”

Leoni was satisfied at the way Nikolai blinked, his face shifting as he realized Atiena was not someone who would be flattered and danced around. She had a smile on her face, but Leoni could still feel something different about her. Something in her eyes and her small smile. She looked like a cheetah stalking its prey.

“Ambassador, it sounds like you’ve formed a rather low opinion of me. Shall we address the secret agent in the room?” He said, looking at Leoni.

Under the table she felt Adrik’s leg move against her. It brought her down to what was real. What was important. I’m safe here I’m safe here I’m safe here, she told herself. So she gave Nikolai her signature smile, and turned to David, who was looking between everyone. “David, would you like to come to our wedding?”

He looked taken aback. But trusty David, he gave her a nod. He didn’t notice the way the pressure in the room had changed. “I would enjoy that. Have you been keeping on with Fabrikator work?”

Leoni was prepared to answer him when Nikolai gave a sharp exhale. “Not now, David.” A familiar interaction. But it made her feel comfortable again. She’d made it this far, and she had a man who loved her on one side, and a man who had beaten jurda parem on the other. I keep good company, she smiled to herself.

“Back to the matter at hand,” Atiena said. “Our agent is the one who discovered this traitrous behavior being committed by Ravka. Do you deny it?” She asked, tilting her head slightly to look at Nikolai. Her look was calculating.

“I do not,” Nikolai said. “But -”

“I didn’t ask for another excuse,” Atiena cut off with a polite, tense smile. “I understand Ravka is in a pit of its own making. But instead of reaching out to allies - including when I was on your soil - you decided to insult our agreements. Zemenis are dead as a result. We have been dragged into this war and I intend to see us out of it.” 

Nikolai became serious. “You should be extending your allies the same transparency.”

“Are we allies now?” Atiena asked. 

Zoya ruffled and leaned in. “Enough of this. We cannot hope to fend off Fjerda’s advancing attacks without our allies.” She looked at Atiena. “Yes. We are allies. We have the finest grisha schools in the land and we can start an exchange program. Surely you see how skilled Leo - Inyoni is after her time in Ravka.”

“I think our own zowa schools manage well enough,” Atiena said.

“Preference in trade and port use,” Genya said. 

“Given the hostility between Ravka and the unceded Suli Territory, I’ll have to decline,” Atiena said. “We have arranged a separate treaty with the Suli chiefs, including with my husband Zakhir Drăgan. Our marriage has ensured the treaty will hold for multiple generations.” She smiled. “What is to keep Novyi Zem from withdrawing our support for Ravka of material goods and gold, since you threw your lot in with the Kerch.”

“If you’re not open to any of our suggestions, it doesn’t make for much of a talk,” Nikolai said. Leoni could see the frustration building in his face. There was something satisfying about it. Atiena wasn’t so easily charmed.

“Because I need you to see that the Zemeni people are not going to accept crumbs. We need something more tangible,” Atiena replied. 

“And what would that be?” Nikolai asked her, leaning forward and putting his chin in his hand. 

Atiena drew herself up and also leaned forward. “All of the Ravkans in the room are going to be quiet and listen now,” she said. Her voice had a dangerous edge to it. 

Leoni’s eyes widened as every Ravkan suddenly froze in place. Zoya’s eyes looked furious as she glanced between them. She raised her hand up but Atiena beat her to the punch. “None of you will harm a single Zemeni. You will sit in place until we are done here.”

“What’s going on?” Jesper finally asked. 

Leoni whipped around to look at Adrik. He’d been affected too. His green eyes were wide but he sat silently. She reached out to touch his hand, grasping it under the table. “I would also like to know what’s going on,” Leoni said.

“Parem has some interesting effects on zowa power,” Atiena said. “And we’re the only country that controls the means of productions for the antidote. If they will not treat Zemenis the way we should be treated, then they no longer have a choice.” 


	38. So Be It

Leoni gripped Adrik’s thigh and looked over at Atiena, and the Ravkans. Atiena stood and Leoni finally pieced together why she looked different. There was a lean look to her face and her eyes, while cleverly disguised with makeup, had a slightly sunken look to them. Atiena was charming and compelling on a typical day. Now, she was dangerous and could command them all to kill themselves if she wanted. Leoni had only heard snippets of the effect parem could have on a powerful Heartrender.

“We are  _ tired _ Nikolai,” Atiena said. “We are tired of cleaning up your messes. We are tired of being pawns in your battles and wars with Fjerda. We are tired of being slighted by you.” She rubbed her temples, and for a brief moment she looked older than her 25 years. “We hold jurda, and we hold the antidote for parem. Let it be known that if you try to set foot on our soil with the intention of harming our crops ever again, not only will I kill you, but we will burn everything to the ground and salt the earth,” she said. “You will  _ never _ control Nyota Heri.”

“Atiena,” Leoni whispered, looking between the Heartrender and her fiance. “Let Adrik out of the compulsion,” she begged softly in Zemeni. 

Atiena cocked her head in Leoni’s direction before nodding. “Adrik you may relax and come back to yourself.”

He suddenly gasped and bent forward, gripping Leoni’s hand tight. It hurt, but she wasn’t about to let go. His eyes were now bright green and he looked around wildly, but had the good sense to keep his mouth shut.

Atiena continued. “We are not the only ones. We have allied ourselves with the sildroher of the Bone Road, with the Kaelish who’s inventions you stole. We have allied with Nui’ians who have sent fleets far stronger than yours to the bottom of the ocean. With the Hedjut of Fjerda who are tired of their land occupation. And of course,” she smiled down at Zakhir. “With the Suli people of Unceded Territories.” 

She cut a strong figure, standing ramrod straight and chin high, lightly resting her hand on Zakhir’s shoulder. For his part he was sitting back casually in his high-back chair, an ankle crossed onto his knee. Leoni could only imagine how they looked to the Ravkans. Atiena was right - with their marriage, Zemenis now had full recourse to throw all their weight behind the Sulis, holding control over most of the ports in Ravka.

“We also know that recently, a woman decided to buy a large swath of land in the Unceded Territory,” Atiena continued. Zakhir’s smile grew a bit wider. “She was offered a good deal. So she’s decided to move her orphanage to the western region, instead of Keramzin. The children are packing as we speak.”

Adrik turned to Leoni. He said he’d told Atiena about Alina, and hadn’t known why. Leoni felt both angry on his behalf. He’d told Atiena about Alina because he likely hadn’t had a choice in the matter. She felt shock. She should not have doubted the lengths Atiena would go to. It was both admirable and frightening. But Leoni had more faith in Atiena Kaboyonga than Nikolai Lantsov.

“We are also aware of the proof of your parentage, including a letter that you never thought to be rid of,” Atiena said. She pulled out an envelope. “From the former Queen of Ravka, who resides in the Stolen Lands. Claiming that Magnus Opjer is your father and that you have no true claim to the throne.”

Nikolai’s eyes widened as the weight of Atiena’s words sunk in. “We can be a very powerful ally, Nikolai,” she said. “But we make a very thorough enemy. I don’t know why you insisted it be this way,” she said sweetly. “I will be bringing in other members of the indigenous delegations, and we will go over the terms of our new international treaty with Ravka,” she told them. “Which you will sign, effective immediately.”

Keao, Brigid, Hanne, a Hedjut elder, and Finn soon joined them and Leoni watched as they all - but mostly Atiena laid out the new international law that would reshape the world. She was surprised to see Hanne once again in Hedjut regalia. Leoni never could have guessed once their paths diverted, that they would meet once more. And here they all were in Ketterdam.

_ Nyota Heri holds the world’s supply of jurda, and therefore both parem and the antidote. Ravka would be working to help curb the manufacturing of parem, and its offshoots. _

_ Technology would be freely shared among the nations - patents could be held but everything would be a work of collaboration. Knowing that their own weapons could be used against them, it would shift more focus towards the advancement of the sciences. _

_ Agents sent to other countries would be kept on a register. _

_ There would be no more recruiting of zowa from other countries, only learning exchange programs. _

_ There would be no more colonies. _

_ In exchange, allies would offer resources and information to each other with the ultimate goal of a thriving partnership. _

There were many more listed, too many for Leoni to memorize. Adrik was holding her hand tightly as the binding contract was laid out. It hadn’t been done on a typewriter like many documents now. It had been handwritten in each language - and the Zemeni handwriting looked familiar to her. Jesper stared hard at it. He was also watching the events unfold wordlessly, glancing between the contract and Atiena.

The document was signed by everyone present, except for Leoni and Adrik. She kept hold of his hand before placing her palm on the top. He stayed still but she could see his breathing and tapped on his knuckle to keep him grounded.

When they finished the contracts, one was given to each leader, as well as copies that had been done on typewriters. Atiena rolled up the Zemeni one and put it in a cushioned box that Zakhir held out for her. “You will not remember the compulsion,” she told the Ravkans. “You will remember that after hours of bargaining, agreements were reached. You will tell both Fjerda and Shu Han that you hope to come to a peace agreement soon. And we will meet again in six months time to follow up on our treaties,” Atiena finished.

The expressions on Nikolai and the Triumvirates faces softened, and became amicable. Or as amicable as General Nazyalensky was.

Adrik stared at the table as people filed out, Leoni looking at him. He stayed quiet, only nodding and murmuring politely as the Triumvirate happily said goodbye to him. Zoya even smiled and had a conversation with Atiena, who acted like none of the compulsion ever happened, along with Zakhir. The two of them watched the show, and Leoni sighed. “We’re agents,” she said. “Spies, right?” They had seen many things together.

When he turned his face to her, she already knew what he was going to say. “I don’t want to remember this  _ solnyshko, _ ” he said quietly in Ravkan to her. “My loyalty is to you, always. But this doesn’t feel right, being the only Ravkan that knows,” he said. 

Leoni kissed his cheek. “Go ask her,” she encouraged.

Her face sombered as Adrik’s jaw worked. He stood up and walked over to Atiena, who was wrapping up her goodbye to Jesper. Leoni wasn’t close enough to hear but Atiena’s forehead relaxed, and her entire countenance went from politician and zowa to be feared, to a caring friend. The transformation was stunning. She touched Adrik’s upper arm and after a couple more exchanges, she leaned in to whisper to Adrik.

His shoulders relaxed and his countenance went from complete concern, to relaxed and smiling. He walked over to Leoni. “I never thought it could be so successful,” he commented. “We should celebrate tonight. Let’s find some good food.” He stopped to think. “I haven’t had Suli food in a while.”

“That sounds delicious,” Leoni said, matching his smile with a bigger one. “Do you want to get a head start back? I just want to chat with Atiena,” she said. He agreed and promised to ask about restaurants.

When it was just the two of them, Atiena came and sat next to Leoni. “I want you to know it was his idea,” she began. Leoni straightened and looked at her. There was no command in Atiena’s voice. Just tiredness. “I hate this, you know. But it needed to end, and end peacefully. Adrik figured out I’d taken parem. Said he had information on Nikolai, but he didn’t want to remember telling me. Asked if I’d make him forget, to not feel guilty about it.”

“You swear?” Leoni asks.

“You can only take me at word, but my word is pretty powerful,” Atiena chuckled. “I only followed his wishes. He is truly a good man. This mess of zowa experimentations may not end, but maybe balance can be restored - that lives won’t be needlessly destroyed.”

“You’ve taken on a heavy burden,” Leoni replied. Atiena was still so young, and now she’d manipulated Kings, and generals, and entire governments into achieving her goal of peace. 

“It's all worth it,” Atiena said with a little shrug. “To keep any more Zemenis from dying senselessly. If that means I dishonor myself a bit to the ancestors,” Atiena trailed off and shrugged. “So be it.”

“I can’t say I understand,” Leoni said. “Everything I’ve done has been affected by Ravka,” she said. “I’m grateful that I got to meet Adrik this way. My language skills. But I was always a spy and an agent, never a politician.”

“And you are one of the best,” Atiena said. “Nyota Heri is going to go through a lot of changes over the next few years. I would love for you and Adrik to have a hand in it. Whether as translators or future Ambassadors,” Atiena shrugged. “Nyota Heri will need all the capable people we have.”

“But I also don’t feel right knowing this,” Leoni confessed. “For now, I also want this to be over. To plan a wedding. In five years, could you remind both of us? To see if we want to remember again?”

Atiena reached forward, placing each hand softly on the side of Leoni’s face. “You have my word, Inyoni Mbeki, Leoni Hilli, daughter of Nyota Heri. I swear on my grandma’s bones,” she said. The talisman around her wrist brushed against Leoni’s cheek. 

* * * * *

When Leoni left the room with Atiena, she was giddy. The Tsar had been agreeable. Had even dismissed the price over her and Adrik’s heads. He could return to Nadia and Tamar to visit if he liked, so long as he registered with the Triumvirate. Back at the Van Eck mansion, they lay on the bed, talking about all the Suli food they were going to eat.

She saw Atiena sitting with Zakhir on the couch, completely collapsed against his side. “Do you want to come celebrate with us tonight?” she asked Atiena. After all, the young zowa had expertly negotiated with Nikolai, who was notoriously difficult to pin down.

“That is alright,” Atiena said with a wave. “You two should enjoy the city before we leave. The Summit ends tomorrow and you will not be needed.”

Leoni was relieved. Despite the good outcome of their intensive meeting, she could use a day with Adrik again, without worrying about seeing dignitaries. Although Ketterdam had been interesting, she was thinking about her little flat with Adrik.

“I’m ready for all of this to be over,” Adrik said. “I’m ready for you to see how truly dull I am. You’ve been getting the wrong impression of me so far.”

Leoni tilted her head back and laughed, turning to look at Adrik. The soft light filtered in, making his eyes pale green, and his blonde hair even shinier. “Oh you could never be dull. Sankt Adrik Zhabin,” she said, brushing a hand through his hair. 

“Soon to be Sankt Adrik Hilli,” he corrected, making warmth spread through her. “Saint of loving Sankta Leoni.” After she kissed him silly, they went ahead and began packing for the return home. Despite her exhaustion, years of military training wouldn’t let her be unprepared. 

They indulged in too many plates of Suli food, finding a hole-in-the-wall place recommended to them by Captain Ghafa. Even though her work wasn’t done, Leoni let herself celebrate that night. The fear of Nikolai, of sliding into open war, had eased. She could return to Nyota Heri and keep helping the Fjerdan girls. Adrik could keep working with Ravkan refugees. Everyone could heal. 

“So what are we going to do for the boring rest of our lives?” Adrik said before popping food into his mouth. 

Leoni considered it for a moment. “I have no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for continuing to be here, even as i deal with all this stupid health stuff! i appreciate it a LOT and hope to use my time in chemotherapy to do more writing.


	39. Jesper Hilli-Fahey

Jesper walked out of the earth-shattering meeting in a daze, Sefu outside by the door having an enthusiastic conversation with none other than Tolya. They seemed to be discussing the greatest epics to come out of the Wandering Isle, and when the Zemenis and Ravkans filed out, they straightened up, pretending as if they didn’t already love each other. Jesper couldn’t help the smile on his face. It was something he could never picture the Dregs doing. Probably would have tried to rob Tolya instead.

Sefu immediately stepped next to Jesper. “Do you want to catch the tram back?” he asked, his brown eyes slightly wide, his hands reaching out towards Jesper. 

Jesper closed the distance between the two of them, lacing their fingers together. “I think I’d rather walk,” he said. Sefu nodded and squeezed his hand. 

The sun was daring to peek from behind the heavy gray Ketterdam clouds. Despite his hears there, Jesper always forgot that occasionally the sun did come out. Maybe a cheerful Tidemaker or Squaller decided enough was enough. And for that, Jesper was thankful. He hadn’t brought a fur-lined cloak. Like clockwork, Sefu took his off. “You look cold,” he said, wrapping it around Jesper. 

“If I’m cold, you’re colder,” Jesper shot back with a grin. “My Zemeni Prince,” he teased.

“Umphulukisi,” Sefu said wiggling his fingers. “I can warm myself up a bit.”

Jesper had to admit that Sefu’s cloak was nice, and the smell of him was comforting after that harrowing meeting. “You wrote the treaty. That’s what you and Atiena were arguing about. You knew her plan, didn’t you?” Jesper waited for the mastermind explanation that Kaz would have given, or the I-Did-What-I-Had-To-Do from Inej, or the way Nina liked to skirt around the more difficult issues with a joke. How Wylan’s family never learned to talk about it at all.

“I did,” Sefu said. He looked at Jesper, a small frown and a line between his eyes. “I think what she did was risky, but I’d sooner take her secret to the grave.”

Jesper nodded. “Thank you for being honest.”

Sefu shrugged, his grip on Jesper’s hand secure. “You’re one of the most intelligent people I know. You cured the curse of parem. The Ravkans thought it was because the Saints didn’t like us using our own ancestral crop,” Sefu spat uncharacteristically onto the ground, Jesper’s eyebrows shooting up to his forehead. “I want to be done with them. I’m ready to go home.”

“Me too, Sefu,” Jesper sighed. “You know, I’m thinking of moving into the city. My Da has a friend now, and he won’t be so lonely.” 

“We can still visit,” Sefu said lightly.

“We?” Jesper said.

“Atiena is going to be busy, and I could use the company,” Sefu said. “You won’t have to take the train into the city anymore.”

Jesper’s smile stretched from ear to ear. “Okay. On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You have to read to me at night sometimes.”

Sefu rolled his lips in before smiling at Jesper. “Always,” he replied, then leaned in to kiss him in the hazy Ketterdam sun.

* * * * *

As the Zemeni delegation packed and left the Van Eck mansion sparkling, Jesper sat down to write a note to Wylan. It wasn’t overly emotional - it was a thank you note on behalf of everything, and wishing him well. Jesper didn’t mention the Dregs, or Kaz, and simply acknowledged the past. But as he wrote in his scrawled handwriting, he knew that his chapter in Ketterdam was finally coming to a close. He sealed the envelope and left it under the bedroom door he’d once shared with Wylan. 

As they boarded the ship in Fifth Harbour, he caught a glance of Inej chatting with Kaz in the distance, so he focused on the Zemeni Youth Council and Sefu. This time he had put on his furs for the boat ride, eager to make it back to sunny shores. Fatima had clearly gone on a shopping spree in Ketterdam and was ordering Zakhir to put them onto the ship with a sweet smile. “I’m a distant cousin of the Kaboyongas and you’re going to have to  _ beg _ for Haifa’s approval,” she said.

After Zakhir walked away grumbling with the luggage, Jesper leaned in. “No you aren’t,” he said. 

“I know, but I didn’t want to take them on the ship myself. Besides we’re practically cousins, we grew up together at the school in  Te ƙofa.” 

Jesper had to concede on that point. Leoni and Adrik were leaning into each other, the Ravkan wrapping his arm around her while she leaned her head against his. He looked at Jesper, but it wasn’t quite as unfriendly as it had been in the past. Jesper was grateful for at least that. They could keep working on it, Jesper had a feeling that Adrik wasn’t exactly the soft kind to anyone but Leoni.

The ride back to Nyota Heri was much light-hearted. Sefu and Jesper found their way over to Brigid, who was leaning on the side of the deck. Sefu seemed to be focusing his zowa gifts on trying not to puke over the railing. “You’re doing better,” Jesper said encouragingly, rubbing the back of his shoulder.

“Hello Young Fahey,” Brigid said. “Good to see you. That was beautiful work you all did back there in Ketterdam.” She smiled at the two of them. Unlike everyone else, she was dressed simply in a wool dress and shawl, and boots. The cold didn’t seem to impact her as much, just a pinkish tinge across her freckled face. “But it is good to be back by the water.”

“You know, my Da’s place is by the crags,” Jesper said not-at-all-obviously. “It’s quite beautiful. “He has plenty of room, if you’d like to rest before returning home,” Jesper said. He thought about how excited his Da had been when he saw her. He couldn’t say he understood it, but Colm Fahey deserved happiness too. Ancestors knew Jesper stressed him out enough.

“It is quite pretty,” Brigid agreed. “And it has been awhile since I worked on Nyota Heri’s soil.” She looked at Sefu, sizing him up. “You’re a healer too,” she said.

Sefu nodded, still looking a bit ashen. “Yes, auntie.”

“I could teach you a thing or two.” She reached forward and touched his forehead. Sefu let out a long sigh of relief and his dark skin became even again. “Promise you’ll stay in touch.” Sefu nodded gratefully and Jesper laughed, leaning in to nudge him. “I don’t think my work is done in Nyota Heri. The Bone Road will be there when I’m ready.”

The ship seemed unreal at night - people didn’t talk about Ketterdam or war. Instead they talked about industry, about what they planned to do in the upcoming peacetime, and restoring the jurda crops that had been burned by the Fjerdan cultists. But now they were safer. Jesper felt like he could breathe for the first time - and he knew with certainty he was going  _ home _ . He’d been to the Wandering Isle, to the Unceded Suli Territories occupied by Ravka, and now back to Ketterdam.

“What are you thinking?” asked Sefu softly. They were sitting around the fire controlled by a zowa, as Atiena danced with Zakhir and Leoni attempted to teach Adrik more Zemeni dancing before they gave up and did some Ravkan styles instead. He fared much better.

“I’m ready to go sit by our pompom tree,” Jesper said. “We got some catching up to do.”

Sefu simply nodded.

“How about you Healer Kaboyonga?” Jesper said teasingly, the smile coming more naturally to his face without the prospect of war hanging on his shoulder. 

“I’m thinking about the argument my Mama will get into now that Atiena has returned with another fiance,” Sefu said with a grin. “Wall shattering, I’m sure.”

“You’re a family of powerful zowa,” Jesper replied. “You’re going to live a long time.”

Something he had been aware of on some level before. But hope bloomed like a pompom flower in his heart - vibrant pink and cloying in its beauty and possibilities.

Sefu reached forward and gripped his hand. “So are you.”

* * * * *

When they reached the port of Ol’Umoyana, Colm was waiting for them on the dock along with Haifa and the rest of the Elder Council. Colm had his sleeves rolled up and suspenders holding up his pants, searching until his gray eyes locked on Jesper. The two of them collided into each other, Colm’s fingers digging into his back. “Oh my son,” he said, before grasping Jesper’s face in both hands and kissing each cheek. 

Jesper couldn’t bring himself to be upset, or embarrassed. Instead he just leaned down and returned the tight hug. “Da,” he said. “Everything is fine. Everything - like. For everyone.”

Colm’s eyes shone bright, his red eyelashes damp. “And you were a part of it. I am so glad you’re home.”

He looked around at everyone. Inej was staying on her ship for now. Zakhir was being introduced to the other Kaboyongas, with his most flattering smile plastered on his handsome face. Haifa did not seem impressed. Leoni and Adrik were holding hands. Leoni saw Jesper and excused herself.

“Hey Jes,” she said with a smile. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“I doubt it,” he chuckled. “We have a lot of work to do. Let me reintroduce you to someone.”

She stiffened a bit but Colm’s face fell. “Leoni - I cannot apologize enough for when you were a child,” he began, fumbling over his words. “Saints, you’re so much taller,” he chuckled nervously. “Please, I’d like to make it up to you sometime. Come over for tea. Jesper has said wonderful things about you.”

Leoni looked between the two of them, before nodding. “I’d like that Mr. Fahey.”

“Please, call me Baba Jes,” Colm corrected. “Like the big one there,” he motioned at Sefu. 

Sefu seemed to take that as his cue to walk back over, and Leoni took it as hers to give Jesper a hug. “Adrik and I are going to walk home. We don’t live far from here. I’ll see you whenever we’re all summoned again. We still have work to do on that antidote.” Colm walked over to the cart to make sure everything was secure and give Nguvu some more water.

Sefu took Leoni’s place next to Jesper. There was so much to be said, and not enough space to say it. So Jesper whispered his goodbyes and soft words to Sefu, before going to the small cart that was being driven by none other than Nguvu. 

“I’ll stop by tomorrow?” Sefu asked hopefully, reaching a hand out to Jesper. 

Jesper returned with a squeeze. “Of course.” Sefu leaned in and gave a quick kiss on his lips before waving to Colm. “Goodbye Baba Jes!”

As they parted ways, Colm nudged Jesper. “Sefu Kaboyonga, huh?”

He couldn’t help rolling his eyes, but he still turned his back and looked back at the strong Zemeni as he walked away. Sefu was also looking back. “Sefu Kaboyonga,” Jesper muttered, patting Nguvu’s face before getting into the cart. “You know, I think Brigid is going to stay in Nyota Heri for a while. Staying in a hotel for now.”

“A hotel in the city?!” Colm said indignantly. “We’ll fix that tomorrow, she doesn’t do good in the cities, she’d be much happier and save a lot of money staying with us on the farm.”

Jesper smiled to himself. The whole way back he shared some details - that Atiena had a husband and that Ravka agreed with a treaty. Jesper rolled his coin between his fingers before pocketing it. Colm beamed with pride. “That’s my son. Your mum would be so proud,” he said. “Helping cure a deadly disease, and helping bring peace.” He looked over at Jesper. “You’re doing so well here.” 

_ Unlike in Ketterdam _ hung in the space between them. 

“It’s where I’m supposed to be,” Jesper said. He was Jesper Hilli-Fahey, of Nyota Heri and the Wandering Isle. His home would always be where his family and friends were - the land where his mother was buried. 

He brought his talisman up to his lips and kissed it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only the Epilogue left :)
> 
> Thank you for being on this journey with me.


	40. Epilogue

Nyota Heri celebrated the border checkpoints coming down in the Stolen Lands for a month after the treaty. Zemenis on either side reveled in tearing them down, stone by stone, as Ravkans were ordered to hand over control to the people. It was a peaceful transition, with Citizenship being offered to all those who were not guilty of any war crimes. Aleksander Lantsov was put on a boat back to Os Alta, but his frail disposition meant he died along the voyage. 

He was not mourned.

Instead, on a brilliant jurda farm by the crags outside Ol’Umoyana, a wedding was taking place. That morning, Adrik presented the bride price to her father, who pretended to hem and haw but everyone knew it was way more than the ‘polite’ offer. They welcomed Adrik into the tribe and the family joyously, since Leoni would not be joining his. 

Tamar, Nadia, and Tolya had never seen a Southern Zemeni wedding, and Tolya asked Sefu for all the details as they all stood around, eating delicacies that made their mouths water or nose run, depending on their proclivity for spices. David and Genya were also in attendance, David hoping to speak with Leoni about all the work they had been doing across the ocean together. Their missives were fun, but he was hoping to visit her workshop while he was in town.

Adrik wore a light formal kefta that Nadia brought from their home village in Ravka. The symbols of that small border town were woven in a beautiful white fabric with red stitching, and a red sash belt tying it together. His golden hair was swept off of his face and he paced around eagerly waiting for the ceremony to begin. 

Leoni sat in the back room with Atiena, making sure that she looked perfect. Her parents and baby brother were also there. Her long twist extensions were decorated with beads, and the [isicholo hat was a vibrant blue on her head,](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/cf/64/33/cf6433e614207ec370f18b5b17b36acc.jpg) the woven pattern done meticulously by hand. Her mother had stitched each bead individually along the band, and shells and beads covered her forehead in a small veil. She didn’t want to hide her face from Adrik.

Heavy beaded necklaces sat on her shoulder. Beads were the love language of the Southern Zemenis - for Adrik they forewent the jewelry and she had woven the beads into his prosthetic arm. The top of her dress was short-sleeved and cropped, with a skirt that went just past her knees. The story of their life was subtly woven into the dress. Jurda Parem, his squaller insignia, hers as an alkemi, the things that had brought them together.

Leoni stood very still as the white ochre designs were painted onto her arms. Her skin buzzed with excitement.

Everyone they loved was in attendance, a small lean-to set up by the pompom tree. It was in full bloom, pale pink. She and Adrik had paid their respects early that morning to Aditi Hilli, the woman who had saved her life. Zemenis, Shu, Ravkans, and Kaelish mingled with each other. Jesper and Sefu looked dashing in their fitted outfits. In the past year they’d enjoyed their time in the city. Jesper continued his work as a translator, working closely with Adrik in the meantime. Things had improved between them. Atiena went and took her place next to Zakhir. He was dressed in a salwar kameez, and she looked like a Southeastern Zemeni girl in a simple dress. 

None of them looked like politicians. The shadow of war had passed, and they were now standing in the sun together.

They celebrated the marriage of Inyoni Mbeki - known now as Leoni Hilli - and Adrik Zhabin. They danced into the night, the wedding ceremony a cross between North Ravkan and Southern Zemeni. Jesper stole a dance or three with Leoni, who had become his sister in every way but name. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words cannot express how I feel right now finishing this fic. I had no idea two years ago it would lead to this. Please leave a comment if you enjoyed or have thoughts! <3 I'll be back soon not only for Grishaverse Big Bang 3, but also to finish up my other fics that went to the wayside after I got sick. Subscribes, kudos, and bookmarks also appreciated. 
> 
> Thank you for reading along the Zemeni Extended Universe.


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